The Dorm Room
The Sunday after the party they had all spent the way they usually did: Sirius and James slept till midday, just to go right into quidditch practice. For some reason James never ever got a hangover and Sirius has never been able to say no to James when he asked him to accompany him for a quick practice on the Quidditch court. Peter was up at around 10 and left the dorm maybe 30 minutes later, Remus had no idea where he was going but if he had to guess he would say probably down to the kitchen and then over to first meet with whatever girl he was seeing at the time; no one really keeping up with his fleeting relationship and no one really caring enough to even try. Usually Remus would also lay in, maybe go down to the common room to do some finishing touches at the homework that was due on Monday or reading a good book, or maybe meet up with Lily who was surely down there already and complaining to her friends about the state of the common room while desperately trying to clean around all the hangover Gryffindors moping around there.
That day however Remus simply decided not to get up. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. For some reason Sirius’ statement from yesterday had hurt him more than it should have. Maybe it was because over the past few weeks Remus had become more aware of just why he never felt like bringing a girl up to his room. Maybe it was because it was Sirius who had said it. Maybe it was because Sirius was the reason why Remus never considered bringing a girl up to their room.
So for the next three hours Remus closed the curtains to his bed and made himself comfortable with a muggle book that Lily had lent him a few weeks ago that he still hadn’t gotten around to reading. At around 1 PM he started regretting his decision of not going downstairs for breakfast as he felt like he was starving. His stomach kept grumbling and he was starting to fell nauseous. So he opened the bed curtain, climbed out and started rummaging through his belongings on the hunt for something edible. He was sure there should be some biscuits in there that James’ mom had sent over. They were probably rock hard by now but Remus’ hunger had reached a point at which he wasn’t picky anymore as long as it was still edible.
It took him a solid 10 minutes to rummage to all his stuff until he finally found the biscuits in a box under his bed, hidden behind a bunch of books, crumbled up parchment paper and a pair of shoes that Remus was sure actually belonged to James or Peter. They tasted as dry and were as hard as expected but he really didn’t care all that much.
Afterwards he really felt in the mood for a smoke so he opened the window and sat on the window sill. Just as he was about to finish his second cigarette Remus heard footsteps coming up the stair accompanied by James and Sirius’ voices who were apparently passionately discussing a vital game manoeuvre for the upcoming match. Remus quickly stubbed out his cigarette, closed the window and flung himself back into bed, closing the curtain. He still was not in the mood to talk to anyone, especially not Sirius. He was still hurt and mad but explaining it to him seemed too difficult without accidentally confessing something to him that he still tried to deny to himself. And even though by now they were all accustomed to his moods sometimes, he really didn’t feel like starting a fight.
He heard the door open, heard them get changed, all while still discussing their practice and the match. Then:
“Is he still sleeping?“ That was Sirius.
“Seems like it. The party really must have tired him out I guess“
“I swear I saw him get up to the dorm earlier than most. He can’t possibly be this hung over“
James just shrugged his shoulders.
“Let’s just get downstairs. I promised Mary I would help her with her charms essay.“
James laughed. “You didn’t even write your own charms essay!“
“Doesn’t mean I can’t still help her. Plus I’m sure I’ll get something out of it later“, Sirius added suggestively. The implication gave Remus a stabbing pain in his chest. Of course these two were doing it. Remus had seen them together on more than one occasion. But he had never heard Sirius admit it so bluntly. Remus wished he actually was asleep. Or dead. Dead sounded great too, even though maybe slightly drastic. Anything sounded great that didn’t involve listening to Sirius talking about his sexual endeavours. Much to his relieve he heard the dorm door open again.
“You coming Prongs?“
“You head down without me. I need to search for a book to return to the library. I’ll be down in a minute.“
He could hear Sirius make his way down to the common room. Then he heard foot steps coming closer.
“Moony?“
Remus didn’t answer.
“Remus I know you are awake. I can smell the cigarette smoke. Just…— Are you ok?“
Remus sighted, sat up and pulled the bed curtains back.
“Don’t worry Prongs. I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m just tired. I guess it’s the full moon coming closer.“ It was an awful lie considering the next full moon was only in about one and a half weeks.
James looked sceptical, which made Remus feel weirdly nervous. There was no way James could know why he was in such a weird, depressed mood today.
“James seriously I’m fine! I just don’t feel like getting out of bed today. No need to worry.“
He still seemed sceptical but thankfully decided to drop the topic.
“I’ll leave you to it then.“
James grabbed a random book and a pile of parchment from the cupboard next to his bed. Then he headed for the door. Remus let himself fall back onto his cushion and closed his eyes. He couldn’t wait for this day to be over. Hopefully tomorrow he could forget about these ridiculous feelings he was being plagued by today and just focus on his classes.
James was already with one foot out of the door when he abruptly turned around.
“Hey Moony?“ Remus just gave out a grunt.
“If there is anything you do want to talk about, I hope you know that I’m here for you.“
And just like that and without waiting for a response he was out the door and down the stairs to the common room where Lily was sitting reading a book about healing potions, no Sirius or Mary in sight.