I never want you to feel alone
~Snape estate~
„Marlene?“ Lily calls out from the sitting room.
The Lady’s maid appears shortly after in the doorway.
„Yes, Lily?“
„Tell me, how was your visit with Dorcas? You promised to tell me about it but it have been days already.“ tapping on the couch beside her to get her to sit down.
Marlene sits down with a grin, taking the tea Lily hands her.
„Oh, there isn’t really much to say. I did catch her and he talked a bit. She actually asked me if I wanted to be the model for a new dress she’s making.“ her cheeks turning a light pink.
„Standing model… you don’t say.“ Lily grins. „You know what that is code for do you not? You and her, alone in her shop, working until late into the night…“
„You don’t know that. Maybe she just really needs someone to model and I just happened to be the first person she saw.“
„She’s around lots of people all day, taking measurements. She could have asked anyone but she asked you. It means something. You’ll see.“ She smiles at her.
~James’ Estate, the Garden~
„Well? Did you tell him?“ Remus asks.
„No. It just wasn’t the right time yet. It didn’t come up.“ Sirius replies while fiddling with his cuffs.
„Whaaat? It didn’t come up that James‘ Husband is your long lost brother? What a surprise.“ The sarcasm in his voice nearly aggressive. „That won’t just come up you idiot! You just have to talk to him.“
„I know, I know okay?!“ he says. „Did you talk to Reggie?“
„No. I tried, but he just won’t talk to me. I don’t know what happened that day at the Observatory but Regulus seems really upset. Maybe you should come in and talk to him yourself.“
„Me? He doesn’t want to see me.“
„How do you know? You haven’t even tried.“
„I know but if he’s already in a bad mood, I shouldn’t go annoy him even more. You know how I can be.“ he says, halfheartedly winking at Remus with the last line.
Remus rolls his eyes. „Yes. Believe me, I know. Then we’ll have to get him in a good mood first. Maybe James could do some kind of gesture.“
„A gesture?“
„A gesture.“
Sirius thinks about that for a second, finally saying, „I will suggest it to Prongs.“
~Regulus‘ Estate~
A few days after the events in Kew, Regulus has become even more agitated than is normal for him. Every servant swirling around him seems to try especially hard not to make a mistake, sensing the tension in him.
Even Remus gave up on trying to involve him into a conversation after a few attempts and a few short answers and dismissals. He was still shadowing him wherever he went, but Regulus did not seem to want to talk to anyone really. Maybe, especially Remus.
After finding out that Regulus was Sirius‘ brother, Remus had started to be afraid that Regulus might hold his friendship with Sirius against him. Well, friendship… What most would perceive as friendship. Remus didn’t even now what else to call it at this point. But whatever it was, it felt strange to talk to Regulus from that point on. Like he had been keeping a secret from him.
Even though they hadn’t known each other for long now, it felt like deceiving him. He was the closest thing Regulus had to a friend in this country. And Remus did really enjoy his presence most times. Sure, he could be cold and mean, at times it was very obvious in what kind of environment he grew up, but nonetheless he had this calmness about him that Remus grew to like.
That had been his role a lot of times. In comparison to James and Sirius, he had always been the quieter one, the one balancing them out. Sure he got up to just as much hijinks when they were younger, often being the mastermind behind the best pranks, but he mostly acted in the shadows. Observing. Well and adding a snarky comment here and there.
Remus enjoyed that role, not being the Center of attention all the time, choosing when to be seen. But sometimes it got easy to feel a bit left out. Not that James and Sirius would ever exclude him on purpose, they just had this close bond, where they always were on the same wavelength with each other. And sometimes the distance you need to observe, felt like miles between him and them.
With Regulus, it felt different. Not that Regulus was a very open person or easy to get along with. But Remus could tell that Regulus had this same instinct to observe. It was calming in a way. Like the Moon and the Stars coexisting on a clear night sky. Keeping each other company.
But after the meeting he had with James, there was not much of his calmness left, though he had gotten quieter since. Currently settling his eyes back to the book on his lap after wordlessly glaring at the maid asking if he wanted tea. Remus was actually quite impressed by her courage to even ask, lingering in Regulus’ stare for more seconds than he would have expected. Remus did take pity on her eventually, dismissing her with a nod from behind Regulus’ settee, where he was patiently standing. He to admit, he had been watching it a bit longer than was necessary, but it was just too entertaining, seeing this young man strike fear into someone by just looking up.
Well, they were similar to Sirius’ eyes, and he knew how impressionable those could be by only focusing on you. Though Sirius’ were different. A similar shade of blue but in Regulus they looked more like ice. Cutting and frosty but also clear and steady.
Sirius’ on the other hand had eyes like the Ocean itself, stormy and wild. Making your heart feel like it was a ship on a wave, being carried to the top, with the fear of toppling over, plummeting into the water, drowning in him. They were exiting, even after years of knowing him, drawing you in.
“…mus?”, a voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed the servant waling up to him, or him saying his name. How often had he had to repeat himself until Remus had reacted? He looked around, slightly panicked. Did anyone else notice? How could he let his thoughts distract him from his duties. This shouldn’t be happening. Especially not while thinking of Sirius’ eyes with his brother sitting just a few feet away.
Quickly, he collected himself. Regulus luckily hadn't even looked up. But was that a twitch of his eyes? Quickly returning to his book as if caught?
“Yes, what is it?” he answered him quietly.
“There is a gift in the foyer from The King to… well, the King.”, holding out a tray with a sealed letter on it, eyeing Regulus warily.
Suppressing an eye role, Remus takes the letter, nodding at the servant politely.
Finally, James does something. Seems like with a little push, Sirius and James are able to think of a way to make a gesture. Took them long enough. But maybe there is hope for a better marital relationship yet.
Hoping he is hiding his excitement well enough from Regulus, he walks around the settee, noticing him staring down at his book, clearly not moving his eyes over the pages. Clearly he had been listening.
Still, Remus clears his throat, holing out the letter.
“Hrm, Regulus, there is a letter for you from King James. And there is also a present for you waiting in the foyer.”
Regulus immediately looks up at the letter in front of him, not looking Remus in the eyes. His fingers twitch, like he wants to rip it from Remus’ hand but can control himself after all.
Slowly and controlled he takes the piece of paper, breaking the seal. He rests his hands on his lap, clearly trying to mask the slight shake of his hands.
“Thanks.” He pushes out quietly.
“Of course.” Remus tries to smile reassuringly, though Regulus still only looks at the piece of paper, more a note than a letter really. He can’t tell what is written on it, not wanting to pry openly, though he is very curious to know.
Regulus’ expression doesn’t change a lot, but there is a slight softness that creeps over his face, one finger absentmindedly tracing the papers edges.
Still holding it in his hand, Regulus stands up all of a sudden. Looking up at Remus.
“Show me the gift.”
-
“What is that?” Regulus doesn’t even try to hide the irritation in his voice.
He is standing in the foyer, Remus just beside him, as always. In front of them, a servant is holding a basket with the smallest, fluffiest animal inside that Regulus has ever seen.
“It is the gift from King James, Regulus.” Remus tells him, as if that wasn’t obvious. Regulus rolls his eyes.
“But what is it?”
“Why, I think it is a dog.”
Regulus can feel Remus eyeing him.
“No. Dogs are big and majestic. A Pincher, a Shepherd, a Schnauzer, a Dane. That is… a deformed bunny.”
At that, Remus clearly can’t control a short snort, making Regulus look over. It is kind of funny, he will admit. If you’d leave out that this was infuriating.
He does give him a tiny smile, trying to let him know that he doesn’t hold the laugh against him. That he actually kind of appreciates it. He mostly like that all the servants are scared of him. They don’t bother him too much that way. Always scurrying away when he enters a room. But he is glad in a way that Remus isn’t like that. That he doesn’t run off, isn’t scared to laugh or talk to him, even if he’s just giving him glares in return. Well, he supposes the not running off part is just is job. But Regulus likes to think that the rest is just him, just something he wants to do or can’t help but do. It feels like a quiet understanding between the two of them. Just because one doesn’t want to talk, doesn’t mean they want to be left alone.
Even now, after practically laughing at the Kings words, Remus just looks back at him, an apologetic smile on his lips, sympathy with a hint of exasperation in his eyes instead of dread.
“Sorry, they can really be a buch of idiots. But they do mean well.” Remus says quietly.
They? Of course. This wasn’t just James’ doing. This had Sirius written all over it. Giving him something stupid like that.
And the note… “I never want you to feel alone. - James”
Sure, that was probably written by Sirius too, or at least he had thought of it. It wasn’t his handwriting. He had waited to see that handwriting in a letter for years, he knew what it looked like.
Well, Sirius, if you didn’t want me to feel alone, you shouldn’t have fucking left me alone in that house. And now you want to make it up to me with a fucking lap dog?
‘Oh, Regulus, I don’t want to spend time with you and neither does my best friend James because why would he if he has me. But here is an animal that literally loves everything that it sees so it will have to tolerate even someone like you.’
Fuck this. Fuck Sirius. Fuck James. Fuck this dog. It could go like in a kennel for all he cared.
The smile he had given Remus just a second before had hardened back into a scowl, as he turned away, leaving this little rat behind.
-
For a second, Remus had actually thought it might have worked. Regulus had started to smile about this whole thing. Even if it was out of mockery for this stupid present. But then something clearly had shifted.
He had stormed off, leaving Remus to collect this tiny dog and hurry after him.
‘Great. Thanks, Pronks and Padfoot. Now I can always carry this furry little problem around with me.’ Only those two could come up with something this stupid. Maybe they thought it would be funny. Because they couldn’t have really thought Regulus would like this. They truly were two idiots.
Remus was kind of impressed, how quickly this man could storm through the halls though. Normally Remus could keep up with someone hurrying while still walking at a normal pace himself. His hight did have that advantage of having to make one step when most would make two. But now he noticed himself actually having to pick up the pace a little bit. Not because Regulus was very tall, he was pretty average actually, around the same hight as Sirius, so only reaching just above Remus’ shoulder. But he had this way of practically flying through the halls, not making any noise or letting his perfect posture slack in the slightest.
Just as silently though, Regulus stopped dead in his track, turning around in one swift motion.
Remus had to do his best not to run right into him, quickly steadying himself.
“I want to meet my ladies and lords in waiting tomorrow.” Regulus announced, staring up at him with defiance.
“Regulus, it is your honeymoon. You cannot-“
“I can. I will. You shall not tell me what I’m allowed to do.” Regulus interrupted, reminding Remus a bit of a hurt child, trying to keep a straight face. At that, he tried his best at answering with a softness that didn’t make him sound patronising.
“Regulus, I am the one person who’ll never tell you what you are allowed to do. I will, however, always tell you my honest opinion and also, how best to do the things you are not allowed to do.”
At that, Regulus looked at him surprised.
“I am not allowed to meet my ladies and lords in waiting during my honeymoon?”
“It would be unwise to meet with all of them. One would… want to be discreet.” Remus smirked at him knowingly.
“And” Regulus eyed him cautiously, “if one wanted to be discreet, would one trust Lady Snape?”
Remus couldn’t help but grin.
“Very much so! I will let you know she is one of my close friends and she would not tell anyone a secret that was entrusted to her. Other that some Lord Pettigrew I know… Let me tell you, what you tell him is in a gossip column the next afternoon. But never mind that now. I will send Lily an invitation to tea for tomorrow afternoon.”
At that Regulus just nodded, his eyes staying unreadable.