The Observatory
The Morning after the wedding, Regulus wakes up in a bed he should have slept in wonderfully, but after the events of last night, he did not get much sleep at all.
The confusion of James, his two faced demeanour was an absolute riddle to him. He did not expect to marry for Love or anything of that sort but after meeting him in the garden, he had secretly started to hope. At least he had hoped they could get along, have a friendly companionship if nothing else.
But his behaviour before the wedding seems to have been all a ruse to get him to marry him, dropping the act right after. Regulus should not have been so naive. Well he won’t make that mistake again.
And his brother. Oh his brother. He did not even try to talk to him, did he? Avoiding his gaze all evening and leaving as soon as humanly possible. Well he‘ll show him! Two people can play that game.
A knock on the door announces Remus‘ arrival, coming to help him dress.
„Come in.“ Regulus calls out with no emotion in his voice.
„Good morning, Regulus. I hope you have slept well.“ walking right to the closet, taking out several garment pieces and starting to dress him in them.
„Sure. Who wouldn’t have in this bed. And I had it all to myself too.“, Regulus says sarcastically.
Remus staying quiet, just shooting him a look.
„So, tell me Remus, what is in my engagement diary for the week?“
„Engagement diary?“ Remus asks, a bit confused.
„I assume there will be charity visits? The poor? Or orphans?“
Remus is wearing a look of distaste, barely hiding it, as Regulus seems to view less fortunate people as a chore. He doesn’t seem to notice, just staring forward, letting Remus put all these different layers of fabric on him.
As Remus doesn’t answer, Regulus just continues.
„I know I must meet with my lords and ladies in waiting. Are there any concerts or operas?“
„There is nothing in your engagement diary, Regulus.“
„Nothing?“ he finally looks at him, utterly confused once again. „But how can that be? There is nothing in my engagement diary?“
„No, Regulus.“
„Remus, I am the King. I have dudies, do I not? Official duties?“
„You do. Many dudies.“
„Then how can there be nothing in the King’s diary?“
„You are currently enjoying the privacy of the first days of marriage.“
Finally dawning on him, Regulus looks at Remus.
„This is my honeymoon.“
„Yes, Regulus.“ Remus answers with an apologetic look in his eyes.
„Well that is just great.“ Regulus stares off again.
„Remus, what do you know about King James‘ Servant? The one with the dark hair.“ Regulus tries to sound casual, as if just changing the subject.
„Oh, you mean Padf.. Ehm Sirius.“ He looks at him surprised.
„Yes… Sirius.“ The name sounds strange to him, not having heard or said it in a while. „And what did you just start to call him?“
„Oh, it’s just a Nickname. We all have one. James, Sirius and I. They started with just James and me when we were younger, just silly code names we invented that just kind of stuck.“ He chuckles to himself.
„When Sirius came here a few years ago he wanted one too. So now we call him Padfoot most times. It’s kind of a cheesy joke because he’s another stray the royal family took in. They do like to do that.“ He smiles lovingly. „Just like they did with me.“
„He just came here a few years ago? Did he tell you anything about were he was from?“
„Yes, he just came and asked for a job, started out in the stables but after James and him became friends he quickly started to work as his Butler. They are inseparable honestly. Even before he got this position you rarely saw one without the other.“
„And about his life before, he‘s from France actually, like you. Never told me where exactly though. Doesn’t really like to talk about it. I just know that his family is pretty awful. `Specially his mom, he calls her Witch Walburga.“ He chuckles lightly at that mocking name.
As Remus mentions Walburga, Regulus flinches, just a little. But Remus registers it.
„Are you alright?“ He looks up from the clothes he had been putting on Regulus to look in a sour expression. „I apologise, I should not have been babbling so much about him. I already do that to Lily. She’s always annoyed with me talking so much about him, she isn’t his biggest fan, but I can’t help it.“ As he starts to blush, Remus looks away and gets back to his work.
„That’s alright.“ Regulus says in a monotone voice. „Who is this Lily?“
„Oh, she’s my best friend. Lady Lily Snape. You have met her at the.. you’ve met her before. She will be one of your Ladies.“
„Ah yes, I recall. And you can say the word wedding. I am aware that I am married you know.“ He shoots him an annoyed look.
„Yes, of course. I apologise.“ continuing his work after that in silence, trying to avoid eye contact with Regulus. However, he does not seek it out either, just staring straight ahead, staring at the empty bed, with only one side having been slept in.
~Estate in Kew, the Morning after the Wedding~
As Sirius wakes up, he finds himself in the complete chaos that is the Observatory.
There are papers seemingly on every inch of the floor, like a tornado blew through it.
There are books opened on tables, abandoned in the middle of reading them, the bookshelves on the walls half empty.
His head hurting from the drinking last night and from sleeping on the make shift bed in the observatory, he checks on James first. Seeing he’s fast asleep, he gets a glass of water from a carafe in a corner of the room that surprisingly had survived James‘ episode of last night.
Drinking a sip, he massages his tempels in the hopes of lessening the pulsing headache, and stares at the condition the room is in.
He shouldn’t have drunk that much. He normally doesn’t on James bad days, but it was a bad day for him as well. He just had to take the edge off somehow.
Regulus…
What the fuck was he doing here? I mean, he knows what he was doing, he was marrying Sirius‘ best friend. God what a nightmare. How did this happen? Did Regulus know that Sirius was here? He must have. But why did he not try to talk to him? And how the hell was Sirius going to tell James that this was his Brother?
So many questions and not a single answer. For now he just had to keep on going like usual.
Setting the glass down, he reluctantly starts picking up the papers, piling them up on one of the tables. After, that the room already starts to look better and he collects all the open wine bottles and sets them out by the door for a servant to pick them up.
As he starts to put all the books back in their places, James starts to stir, slowly sitting up.
„G‘mornin.“ he say’s sleepily.
„Morning.“ Sirius replies, walking over to bring James a Glass of water. „How are you feeling?“
„Tired. And I got a headache.“ As he looks around the room, seeing it’s state even after Sirius‘ attempts to clean it up so James wouldn’t have to be confronted with it, his eyes glaze over as his expression shifts from exhausted to guilty.
„Was it bad?“ he asks quietly.
„No, it was fine. Don’t worry about it.“ Sirius lies. „I’ll just finish cleaning up and then we can go get some breakfast in the main house, how does that sound?“
But James slumps back down into the bed, pulling the blanket up to his ears and turning away. „Not hungry. But you go.“
Sirius sighs but stand up, finishing what he started. He knew there was nothing to be done when James was like this. They just had to wait until it was over and James had the motivation to get up again.
The bigger the high was, the longer and the worse the lows after got. And last night was bad.
As he was walking over to the main house, to order some food to bring to the observatory, he was contemplating if his news about Regulus would pull James further into his depression or if it would get him out. He wasn’t sure. He wanted to talk about it. And he wanted to talk to his best friend. But he did not want to risk it.
Better wait.
~Regulus‘ Estate~
After a few days of pacing around the building, through the garden and through the building again without saying more than a few words to Remus, Regulus was sipping his evening tea in the sitting room. Remus standing behind him.
„Remus.“ he says suddenly, sitting down his cup.
„Yes, Regulus?“
„Ready the carriage.“
„Yes, Regulus. May I say our destination?“
„We are going to see my husband.“ he declares.
Remus‘s eyes widen, his heart beating quicker at the thought of seeing Sirius but nervous about not knowing the state James will be in. Not saying anything more, he leaves the room, doing as he was told.
-
On his drive to Kew, Regulus is not sure if he is going to see James, or if he just uses him as an excuse to see Sirius.
He tells himself that he just wants to find out what James is doing this whole time.
As Remus opens the carriage door and helps Regulus step out, Sirius greets them with his face white as a sheet, standing in front of the massive building.
„Where is he?“ Regulus demands coldly.
„Reggie... We did not expect-“
„It is ’Your Majesty‘!“ Regulus snaps, with a look in his eyes that could kill. „Or have you forgotten who I am?!“
„I am not here for you.“ he says, not convinced if that is true. „So just answer my Question! Where is he?“
„Th-The observatory.“ hastlily adding, „Your Majesty.“
Sirius nods to a path off to the side of the biulding, his face in utter shock and disbelief.
Regulus turns to Remus. „Wait here.“ Following the path, not looking back.
Remus and Sirius both stare after him, Remus looking away first, turning towards him.
„Perhaps this is good.“ he smiles at him.
„Perhaps…“, sounding not convinced in the slightest.
„Perhaps it is bad.“
Remus eyes him, trying to read his expression but failing.
Not looking up to meet Remus‘ eye he adds „Would you like to step indoors while we wait to find out? Warm up a bit. It is getting cold with the sun down.“
„Thank you, Sir.“ Remus replies with a mocking tone, trying to lighten the mood. „That is very kind and generous of you to offer.“
As Sirius leads him into his quarters, Remus notices that he walks much stiffer than usual. Nothing of the usual, relaxed spring in his step.
After closing the door behind him, Remus steps closer.
„Are you alright? You seem different. Didn’t take the scolding by Regulus well I expect? Serves you right for giving him a nickname like that.“ He chuckles. „He’s only been here for a few days, maybe we should wait with that until he’s more comfortable.“
Sirius scoffs. „Oh so you’re allowed to call him Regulus I gather. Nothing of the ’You’re Majesty‘ bullshit for you…“
„I.. you don’t have to take it out on me you know!“ taking a step back and glaring at him.
Sighing, Sirius‘ shoulders slump down in defeat. His eyes filling with tears.
„I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s not your fault.“ He sits down on the bed, looking up at Remus who’s gaze softens immediately and who sits down beside him.
„Hey, hey it’s okay. What’s wrong? Did something happen with James? Is he alright?“
„No, it’s not James. He’s fine. Or as fine as he’ll ever be.“ He sniffles. „It’s… it’s Regulus. I haven’t told James about it yet. There just wasn’t a good moment. But I have to tell somebody and I know I can trust you.“
„Of course you can.“ hiding a small smile at that, even as he is getting really worried about Sirius.
„He’s.. Do you remember what I told you about my family? About how I left and had to leave my brother behind.“
„Yes, I remember.“
„It’s him. It’s Regulus. He’s my little brother.“
„What?!“ Remus‘ eyes widen in disbelief.
„What do you mean? How did this happen? Did you know he was coming here?“ How could he not have realised? Remus thinks to himself. They look so much alike.
„No. No, of course I didn’t know. I was completely taken off guard when I saw him at the wedding. I haven’t spoken to him in five years. And he just shows up here and marries my best friend. Becomes the new King.“
Standing up, Remus starts to pace through the room, trying to let that all sink in.
„Wow that is.. A lot. Do you think he planned this? Did he know you would be here? I admit I noticed you were acting strange at the wedding but I didn’t expect this.“
„You noticed?“ at that Sirius picks his head up, having had buried them in his hands, looking at Remus with a strange glint in his eyes.
Hearing the new tone in his voice Remus stops pacing at looks at him.
„Of course I noticed. I always notice you.“ his voice soft and his face growing hot as he says it. „I mean.. it’s hard to overlook you is it? You always want alll the attention there is in a room.“
Sirius laughs. „Yeah, true. But you noticed when I didn’t try to get attention. You just noticed me. Not the show I like to put on.“
„Yeah. Of course.“ He smiles back at him, looking away quickly, not handling the tension well. „Hrm, so yeah. Your brother.“
Sirius‘ face darkens again, being reminded of the topic they were on.
„Yeah. I don’t know what he’s doing here or if he knew I’d be here. He probably knew. He didn’t look surprised when I saw him first. Just stayed steady. He‘s good at controlling himself but he couldn’t have done that after seeing me for the first time after five years without expecting it. He has to be planning something. Witch Walburga is probably pulling the strings. I saw her too… not a great experience, I tell you. Tried to stay out of her sight the whole evening.“
„Do you think it’s a ploy to get you back into the family?“ Remus asks.
Sirius‘ face goes pale at that.
„Oh God I hadn’t even thought of that. That has to be it.“
Remus kneels down before Sirius, taking his hands in his.
„Don’t worry! We won’t let that happen! James won’t let that happen. And neither are Effi or Monty. And if everything fails we‘ll just run away.“
„Yeah you’re probably right. But you don’t know my Mother. She’s capable of anything. And if she found me here she’ll find me anywhere. And I just don’t want to run anymore. I found a real home here. For the first time in my life I’m surrounded by people I love and who love me too.“
„I’m sure Regulus still loves you too. He’s your brother after all. Sure he seems a bit.. guarded, but maybe he can be reasoned with. He can’t still be mad at you for leaving. You had good reason to and you asked him to come with you. You had no choice, but you gave him one.“
„Oh, I don’t know. You don’t know Reggie as I do. I think he could hold a grudge forever.“
„Well we will figure something out. Together.“
Sirius looks at him, his gaze lingering on his lips for a second, only a few inches away.
„Yeah, together.“ a small smile growing wider.
~The Observatory~
Walking through the garden, Regulus finds the Observatory without a problem. It is a small round building with a giant telescope sticking out of the roof. It looks beautiful in the moonlight, surrounded by delicate flowers.
The guard standing by the door eyes Regulus but doesn’t try to stop him when he goes straight towards the door and opens it without knocking.
Inside, it is beautiful as well, even if a bit messy. There are books on the the tables around the room and in the midst of it stands James, wearing simple shirt and pants, looking through the telescope, not looking up when Regulus enters.
Regulus shouldn’t like this view. The simple clothing, the messy room. But he does. His heart skips a beat when he sees James, so focused on what he is doing, scrunching his face up to think.
Honestly it’s adorable.
He pushes that thought aside and concentrated on what he’s here to do.
„What is this place?“ he asks with a clear, steady voice.
James looks up at him with these big brown eyes, wearing a pair of round glasses with thin frames. Why does he have to look so good?! Remus thinks to himself, trying not to smile.
„Regulus.“ He steps back from the Telescope, surprised to see him but smiling. „Hello. Here you are.“
Gesturing around the room, where Regulus sees two make shift beds, he continues. „This? This is an observatory for looking at the stars. Now, it is a perfectly clear night. You can see the constellations, and I think…“ going back to looking through the telescope, „there is the lion. Come. Look.“
Not moving an inch, Regulus just stares at him.
„This is what you have been doing?“
„Excuse me?“ James looks at him, confused.
„Since the wedding. This is how you have been spending your time since the wedding?“
„Well, yes. This is most exciting. There is an alignment-„
„In this room?“
„Observatory, yes.“ he just smiles at him.
„James, what have I done wrong?“ Regulus asks, just with utter confusion, sounding more whiny than anticipated. „What mistake did I make?“ Regulus had to play his part and if he did not know how to do that, he was lost. And James just did not tell him his expectations, did not tell him his role.
„You made no mistake.“ He tells him softly.
„Did I say something?“
„No.“
„Did I do something to offend you? I will have to learn the customs here and learn your behaviour to read you best.“
„No, Regulus-“
„Then what is wrong with me?“ He asks with a kind of desperation that makes him despise that he even came here.
„There is nothing wrong with you.“ James says with wide eyes.
„There must be something wrong. James, I thought you were visiting a.. a brothel.“
James starts to laugh in surprise, trying to turn it into a clumsy cough when he sees Regulus staring at him with hatred.
„Hrm, do you know what that word means?“ He asks him.
Not being able to stand the way James looks at him and feeling his face grow hot, he looks just past him, staring at a wall.
„I know what a brothel ist.“ adding more quietly, „Almost.“
„You would rather have me visit a brothel?“ James smiles at him, raising an eyebrow.
„No, I… I would at least understand it more. But for you to prefer the stars to my company. And your servant.“
„I did not say I prefer- “
„Well, you have been in this room-“
„Observatory“ he corrects him.
„You have been in this Observatory room, sleeping and eating and staring at the sky and having that servant of yours as company since the night of our wedding. While I have been stuck in that stuffy house being changed like a doll three times a day with nowhere to go, no one to talk to and nothing to do.“
„You’re the King. You can do whatever you like. And you do have Remus by your side do you not? And about my Servant. His name is Sirius und you have nothing to worry about with him. He is a friend. My best friend, yes, but only a friend. So no need to be jealous.“ smiling at him cockily.
„I’m not jealous!“ Regulus retorts. „I just… I can do anything but spend time with my husband, can I“?
„Come, now.“James tries. „I do not understand what you complain about.“
Regulus‘ mouth snaps into a thin line as he breathes in sharply and approaches James slowly.
„I am twenty years old, and suddenly I am king in a strange country with strange food and strange customs. I always knew I would be married off to someone by my parents but I did not expect this. And I can’t do whatever I like. I can not go walk around town, walk into galleries, I can’t even be by myself. There is always Remus by my side who I did not choose, you did. And other than him I do not know a single soul here except you.“
Stepping even closer now in utter frustration and anger. James just silently listening.
„I feel completely alone, and you prefer Sirius to me.“ he stares him in the eyes, waiting for a response, anything. But there is nothing.
„James!“ he demands.
„What?!“ James shouts back.
„Say something!“
„I do not want to fight with you.“ James says, looking away.
„I want to fight with you! Fight with me! Fight for me!“ tears collecting in his eyes.
„Go home, Regulus!“ James commands, only looking at Regulus for a split second, then turning his eyes away.
To Regulus it feels like a punch in the face. The tears are coming, he can feel it. He feels completely ridiculous. Why did he come here? What did he expect? Of course James would prefer Sirius to him. No matter how hard he tried, he would never be him. He would never be enough.
Not wanting James to see the pain in his eyes, he just bows shortly, staring at the ground while doing so and turns to leave.
When Regulus arrives back at the carriage, Remus is there to open the door for him but not saying a word.
Regulus doesn’t look at him or at Sirius, standing in his position in front of the building.
He just leaves, shuts it all out.