Timeless

James

When Regulus kissed me my whole world fell apart and became whole. It was everything and nothing at once and it was phenomenal. He tasted sweet and salty and mysterious. Addictive. I never wanted to stop. I didn't care if I ran out of breath or if the volcano beneath us decided to come alive. We'd erupt harder and it wouldn't bother us. We'd blow up the world with just a kiss.

And then he pulled away, leaving my mouth in the cold. I could not read him, could not detect the meaning behind the look in his eyes. But he was alive. And if he was alive then our touching didn't harm him. If he was alive I could kiss him again and it would be okay.

If he wanted me to.

But then he was gone. 

My eyes widened, I had not seen him pull out his wand. I cursed myself for not noticing. I cursed myself for letting go of him after the kiss.

This had been him kissing goodbye, hadn't it? That was the look in his eyes – a farewell. I let myself fall onto the ground and stared at my reflection on the frozen ground. 

I looked the same and yet I had been altered completely, in a way that could never be undone. But even my freckles just stood there, darker skin in the shapes of stars. No glistening gold. No sparks around us as we kissed. None of the things we were taught would happen when you first touched your soulmate took place. 

Still, I could not find a doubt in me that Regulus was my soulmate. I did not care what the world said. Looking into his eyes felt like eternity and home and that's because he was it for me. My eternity and my home, my everything. Mine. 

And yet it didn't matter.

He was gone, he'd left, there was nothing I could do to reach him now. And no matter how much I tried to deny it, I knew deep down, he'd gone to London, not to Sirius'. He'd go and tell his parents about the scheme for his arrest and their strings ran higher than mine so they'd make it vanish, they'd get him stuck back there again. Stuck as Regina, stuck to be married and when Alphard wouldn't do that… I didn't even want to think of what'd happen with the unbreakable vow he'd sworn.

But then again. He kissed me and didn't die.

Maybe-

I needed help. I needed to risk my life and tell Sirius and Remus everything. Pads would kill me but maybe he'd kill me only after we save his little brother. Maybe. Hopefully. 

And if he wouldn't kill me Regulus surely would, I was about to go and spill the secrets it had taken him hell of a long to reveal to me.

I got back to Pads and Moony's just as the sun was rising. It was raining and grey, even the clouds not dipped in pastel shades today, and I found myself, once again, knocking on the door instead of barging in as I used to. I didn't even know if they'd realised we were gone. 

It took a bit of time for a sleepheaded Remus to reach the door. I just stared at him, heartbreak likely written all over me, he didn't ask anything, just pulled me in from the rain.

“Sirius!” he called out. I just stood there, a puddle forming at my feet and I didn't know how much of it was rain and how much was my own tears. I stared at the gathering water.

“What is it, Moony?” Sirius sounded like he'd just woken up a moment ago. Probably had. I lifted my head and met his eyes coming down the stairs, “Prongs?” he ran to me, grabbing a blanket along the way and wrapping it around me. “What the hell happened?”

“I- it's. Oh, Merlin you need to sit down and-” I peeked at Remus, praying he was not mad at me, “Remus, please sit with him? Because. Well, you know,” 

He gave me a nod and Pads stared at his husband, “Moony? You know what's up?”

“I have a theory, yes. I just hope I'm wrong,”

We sat down in the living room, them on the couch and my soaked ass on the floor. We may have been wizards but the atmosphere was tense and dark and none of us cared about drying my clothes right now, the least of all me. 

“Sirius,” I swallowed, “now I know you're gonna want to kill me, but before you do, at least please let me finish, okay? There are lives at stake. Literally,”

“Okay, Prongs, you're really scaring me now,”

“I-” I closed my eyes and sighed, “I'm in love with Regulus,”

“YOU'RE WHAT NOW?!?!?!?!?!?”

“Pads, love, calm down,” I watched Remus pull Sirius back to sit down.

“REGULUS!” the latter yelled out, they obviously didn't know he was not here, “I'm going to murder both of you,”

“I know. Just. He's not here. And he's not- he's not safe,” I tightened the blanket around myself, “He's made an unbreakable vow he cannot keep. And I don't know what to do,” my voice cracked midsentence. 

At that, both Pads' and Moony's faces fell blank and were washed of any colour, any anger. They were just as afraid as I was. “What'd he do?” Remus finally asked, the question barely audible.

And so I told them. I told them about the engagement his parents had forced upon Regulus and the unbreakable vow he'd made. I left out the part where he was my soulmate and he was forbidden to touch me but we kissed and he didn't die. I was already on thin ice with Pads. 

I told them about Alphard refusing to marry him, told them about him going back to London. 

“I don't know what to do,” I repeated again, “I haven't slept in nearly two days and I am living my worst nightmare. If he dies-” I didn't even want to think about it, “If he dies I just might as well too…”