Timeless

Regulus

“No, James, please don't ask me that,” the way he looked at me made me want to bare every single one of my deepest secrets and I just couldn't. It would hurt him and I did not want to hurt him, I wanted to- 

I didn't know what I wanted, but it definitely was not to hurt him.

“Come on, Reg, how bad can it be? We will figure it out, okay?”

I shook my head, “There is no “we”. I need to marry Alphard and there can never be a “we” but he won't marry me and..” tears started flowing down my face again. He wasn't going to let this go, was he? Let me go? Why was it that the only time someone fought for me it was when I could not let them?

“Do you want to marry him?”

“No,” I shook my head, “I need to.”

“What?”

Okay. So we were really doing this. I swallowed. And then I pulled my sleeve up, uncovering the twines the unbreakable vow had left around my wrist. “If I don't I die,”

I watched him shake his head in denial and mouth “no” a dozen times, tears slipping down his cheeks, anger igniting in his eyes. His heart breaking in front of me. It was all my fault, it was my fault his heart was broken and there was nothing I could do to help, the best I could do was leave. The best I could do was never bother him again and hope his heart would heal. Mine never would, I knew that, but it didn't matter, I didn't deserve a healed heart, when it was me who broke his. 

“What are the other twines for?” his voice echoed over the mountains that had fallen silent in the grief of James' beautiful heart. They were cursing me under their breaths, I knew it.

I shook my head.

“Regulus. What else did you promise?” 

“To never touch my soulmate,” 

“No-” his eyes went big. I fear I might have just dealt the final blow. How was my brother ever going to put back together what I broke? 

I understood it now. Why he had left me behind when he ran. If he'd taken me along I'd have wrecked everything else good in this world too. 

“What else?”

“To kill him if I am ever to meet him,” 

“This makes no sense,” he laughed, tears slipping over his lips and into his mouth as he opened them for it. I wondered if it would taste salty to kiss him now.

“Excuse me?”

“I'm your fucking soulmate, you dumbass,” 

“No,” I shook my head. I wished it was a lie I was telling, but it wasn't, “You're not,”

“Well, then make this make sense, because you are mine and I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you and I never wanted to take them off of you again,”

“James,” I hated this. I couldn't do this. I wanted to melt myself into his heart to mend it but if I tried I would just break it even worse, “you aren't”

“Excuse me? You calling me a liar?”

“I'm calling you delusional. I don't even have my tattoo. You clearly have yours.”

“Right. So there's no chance I'm your soulmate, just because of a stupid freckle constellation.”

“None.”

“Alright. Then why are you so fucking afraid of touching me?” he stepped closer.

“I'm not.”

“Yes, you are. Look at you. There's no one here but us and yet you're covered head to toe in fabric,”

“It's... cold?” I looked away.

“That doesn't make sense, Reggie. If it was cold you would be between my arms because I would keep you warm. I cannot keep you warm if you shut yourself off as soon as you start feeling something. I cannot do everything for you, so throw me a rope here, will you? I-”

I pulled James in by his collar and pushed my lips onto his. It was every fairytale and every dream I ever had come true but better. His lips parted and he kissed me back, pulled me in.

Something in me broke and it was both horribly painful and made me feel light as air as a tremendous burden just disappeared from my shoulders. I pulled away.

He stared at me and I didn't know what to do. The air around us remained blank and sparkless. The tattoo on his cheek had not turned to a shade of gold. 

It was proof. He was not my soulmate. And yes, theoretically that meant I could kiss him again, kiss him a million times, but that wouldn't change anything. There were still twines around my wrist. I would still break his heart, just shatter it even worse. And I could not do that to him. 

So I pulled out my wand and before he managed to react, his lips still swollen and his head still in the clouds, I left. I went back to London where I should never have left.