Hogwarts : The Bangtan Episode

“It’s no problem, we’ll just ask and pretend we know nothing. Get them to the room of requirement and all will be peachy,” Jimin hissed under his breath as he and Taehyung walked into the Great Hall. 

“Peachy?!” Taehyung chirped. “Yoongi will kill me! Slit my throat! Gut me like a fish! I won’t see tomorrow!”

“You’re overreacting. He won’t.” Jimin’s tone was weak, and it seemed he was trying to convince himself more than Taehyung. “He’ll be understanding and open, just like he always is.”

“Jimin quit joking around! Yoongi’s gonna kill me when-”

“When I what?” Yoongi asked, and Taehyung paled, realizing they got to their table much faster than he anticipated. 

“When you see the present Taehyung got you!” Jimin interrupted with a cheery smile. “It’s almost Christmas after all, and tomorrow we leave for break, so we thought we’d give it to you today!”

Yoongi narrowed his eyes, but dismissed the two second years. He went back to eating his small bowl of oranges with disinterest.

“Oh, really? Jin Hyung is going home tomorrow too,” Hoseok added from his spot next to Namjoon. They were sitting at the Ravenclaw table, but since this morning was the last block of classes, the school was technically on break and they could sit where they liked. The Christmas feast was tonight, and everyone was busy with last minute packing, decorating, and all around relaxing from the week’s tests and homework. 

“. . . OW-We should all exchange gifts today! Like, right now!” Taehyung coughed, having been prompted by Jimin stomping on his foot. 

“What an amazing idea Tae! Let’s get Jungkook, and go now.” Jimin grabbed Namjoon’s sleeve and started pulling him away from the table. 

“Woah, woah, slow down Jimin,” Namjoon wrapped his leg around the bench and stopped Jimin’s abduction. “Give us a minute, lunch just ended. Jungkook probably isn’t even done with his exam-”

“I’m here! I’m here!” Jungkook came jogging up to the table, panting and red in the face. “I came as fast as I could, let’s exchange gifts!”

“How do you know about that? We just planned it and you weren’t here-” Yoongi started but Jimin coughed loudly and started talking over him.

“OKAY! GREAT! Let’s go! Namjoon, Yoongi, come on-”

“This will be so much fun!” Hoseok jumped up. “I’ll go get Jin, and we can grab all of your presents!”

“Wait, Hoseok-”

“Where are we meeting?” Hoseok asked, smiling brightly and ready to run off.

Taehyung blinked at his housemate and realized this plan’s fatal flaw. Hoseok and Jin. They aren’t supposed to know about Yoongi and Namjoon’s secret, but how was he supposed to get them away? Hoseok just accidentally assumed he was invited and Taehyung couldn’t say no, Hoseok was too nice. He was always hanging out with them lately, and so was Jin, so-

“Uh, Fourth floor corridor? The one near the Gryffindor common room entrance?” Taehyung said uncomfortably, and Jimin face-palmed.

“Perfect! See you there!” Hoseok quite literally skipped off, and Taehyung groaned.

“Now what?! How are we gonna lose them?!” He hissed under his breath at Jimin, not noticing Yoongi’s stare.

“We have to. No choice. I don’t know, I’ll. . . hex them or something?”

“You hex Hoseok and I’ll break your nose,” Yoongi suddenly said, and the two second years whipped around towards him. Their area of the table was quiet, and both Namjoon and Yoongi were staring at them.

“HAHAHAH. SO FUNNY YOONGI. I WAS JOKING. THAT’S ALL. NO NEED FOR NOSE BREAKING,” Jimin said loudly, grabbing Jungkook and Taehyung by the collars. He started dragging them out of the hall while yelling back at their Hyungs to meet them in the corridor soon. 

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, Jimin-”

“OW! Jimin let go!”

Jimin shoved the two boys as soon as they were out of eyesight from the Ravenclaw table. Taehyung and Jungkook stumbled forward, rubbing their necks and fixing their messed up robes.

“Idiots!” Jimin hissed. “This just got ten times messier! Taehyung, you have to say no to people! That’s why you’re in this problem in the first place!”

Taehyung pouted, massaging his neck and looking like a kicked puppy. 

“I tried, but you two bullied me! Just like what you’re doing now!”

“Hey!” Jungkook yelped. “I’m not doing anything now! This is all Jimin!”

“Exactly!” Jimin threw his hands in the air. “If I wasn’t trying to fix it, Taehyung would’ve told the entire school their secret! ARGH! Why can’t you Hufflepuffs just be good at keeping secrets?!”

Taehyung frowned. That was hurtful. He could keep secrets. He kept birthday gifts secret, his muggle social security number, and the password to his mom’s garage. Jimin was just overreacting and saying hurtful things he didn’t mean.

“Merlin’s beard Taehyung, sometimes you’re the most gullible person I know! This is so bad, 90% of the Hufflepuffs at this school wouldn’t mess it up this badly! Maybe this is just another stupid muggle thing, secret keeping-”

“Jimin, shut it!” Jungkook snapped, and the Slytherin stopped talking. He seemed to realize he was talking himself into circles of insults, and Taehyung knew he didn’t actually mean it. Jimin was nice, he was his best friend. He loved Jimin. 

Maybe that was why it hurt so much.

Jimin never insulted him like that. Ever.

Taehyung felt a tear move down his cheek, and he quickly brushed it away.

“It’s, uh, it’s fine, I didn't mean, I-” Jimin said slowly, softening his tone. His face changed quickly, and he seemed to realize just how cruel he was getting.

“I thought we said no more muggle insults,” Taehyung quietly said, and Jimin swallowed hard.

“Tae, I. . . I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t mean it.”

“Obviously some part of you does,” Taehyung responded, not liking the resentful feeling in his gut. He wrapped his arms around himself, and looked at the floor uncomfortably. “Let’s just go to the fourth floor. We can. . . we can talk about this later.”

The trio set off down the hallway in pensive silence. Taehyung tried to forget what just happened, because really, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Jimin could be a bitch. That was fine. When he gets stressed he doesn’t think before he speaks, and he lashes out. He doesn’t know how to take blame, and that's his pride. Taehyung understands. They’ve fought before.

But Jimin said he was going to try harder with the muggle hate. He promised. Taehyung thought he was doing so well too, he hadn’t said a single negative muggle thing in weeks. He was being more open to learning about them, and Jimin even said he’d be willing to live at Taehyung’s house for a week this summer. 

Still, he said what he said. He started blaming Taehyung’s family. Yes, his mom always told him lying was wrong, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It was the right thing to do. Taehyung was proud of his family, of being muggle-born. He loved his mom and siblings. He knew Jimin could love them too, but Taehyung figured it was all pretty foreign to Jimin. He came from a long Pureblood line of wizards, and while Jimin’s family was rather progressive, they had only come so far. It wasn’t Jimin’s fault he had been raised to believe those things, just like it wasn’t Taehyung’s fault he was raised to not keep secrets. 

By the time the group reached the fourth floor corridor, Taehyung was pretty much over the whole situation. It was always like this, they’d fight, he’d forgive Jimin, and they’d move on. It worked for them. Leaning against the wall, they waited for their Hyung’s to arrive. Jimin stood next to Taehyung, and slowly tugged on his sleeve. Taehyung glanced at Jimin.

They shared a small moment of eye contact. Taehyung knew he couldn’t always trust Jimin’s words, even if Jimin thought he was ‘so gullible’. Taehyung wasn’t dumb. He knew Jimin. He’d do what he thought he had to do to get ahead. 

But Jimin’s eyes never lied. 

Next year, when they’ll start divination, Taehyung thinks he’ll be good at it. Great even. If reading a crystal ball is anything like looking into Park Jimin’s eyes, then he’ll pass the class with an easy Outstanding. Jimin’s dark eyes are wide today, trembling a little, with a glossy edge to them. He looks like he debated crying, but never managed to summon the tears. He looked soft. Like a deer. So gentle and kind, the part of Jimin that took after his father.

Nodding slowly, Taehyung faced the hallways again, and Jimin rested his head on the Hufflepuff’s shoulder. Taehyung saw Jungkook watching them from a few paces away and hoped he wasn’t angry at Jimin. Jungkook was a halfblood after all, and he could’ve taken the muggle comments to heart. He may not be on speaking terms with his family at the moment, but maybe Jungkook still felt some connection to his dad’s muggle ways. Taehyung made a mental note to check in with Jungkook later, just to know how he was feeling.

“Accio Presents,” Jungkook called.

“Actually? I thought we were just having a meeting about the secret?” Jimin said.

“Well, Hoseok and Jin are coming. With gifts. I don’t want to not give them their gifts.”

“Should. . . should we tell them?” Taehyung asked.

“No.”

“Yes.”

Jimin and Jungkook blinked at each other, realizing they were in very different head spaces about this.

“They’ll find out soon enough,” Jungkook started. “Plus, they’re our friends. They need to know.”

“What for? Our lives aren’t in danger. We don’t need a cat and an owl with us. They may be our friends, but let’s be honest. We just started hanging out with them a month ago. For Merlin’s sake, Yoongi and Jin have literally just started talking to each other!”

“But that’s massive. Yoongi accepted Jin. Just like he accepted us.” Jungkook started pacing the hallway.

“That doesn’t mean he wants them to know, fuck, he doesn’t even know we know.”

“We don’t know what he wants, or why he did this. We need answers.”

“We should just ask him,” Taehyung said, and Jimin’s head left his shoulder. “You know, let Yoongi decide if he wants Hoseok and Jin to know.”

“. . . yeah. For the best,” Jimin agreed quietly. “He won’t be happy about us knowing though, and I doubt he’ll agree to sharing with Hoseok.”

“Why Hoseok?” Jungkook asked.

Jimin didn’t respond right away, and Taehyung figured he knew something they didn’t. Jungkook stopped pacing and looked at Jimin, a questioning look in his eye.

“You should. . . you should ask Yoongi for yourself. We need to stop assuming what Yoongi wants and doesn’t want to share.”

“I agree. We finally got him to like us, so let’s try to salvage what we can,” Taehyung nodded. “And. . . here we go.”

Down the hallway, four figures appeared. Everyone had gifts in their hands, or floating alongside them down the hallway. 

“Hi guys!” Hoseok greeted warmly, carrying boxes wrapped in messy yellow paper. “Are we exchanging gifts here?”

“Why not a common room?” Jin suggested, using his wand to levitate the pristine red gifts behind him. “Gryffindor is just down the hall.”

“Absolutely not,” Yoongi said. “I’d rather kiss Namjoon than set foot in there.”

“Hey!” Namjoon exclaimed, hurt that he got dragged into the debate. Taehyung held back a giggle. He loved these guys, they just felt right. So natural. So real. He really hoped he could save this.

“Um, I have an idea,” He said. “But I need to run it by Yoongi first. It’s a secret.”

Yoongi nodded and followed Taehyung down the hall a little bit. It was going well so far, Taehyung had said everything Jimin told him to. No one made a big scene, there were no teachers, and everyone was in a good mood. For now.

When Taehyung thought they were far enough away, he quickly casted a silence spell around them so they could speak in private. It was his favorite spell he’d learnt from Yoongi, and Taehyung didn’t miss the way Yoongi looked at the shield with a small smile.

“What’s your idea?” Yoongi asked.

Taehyung bit his lip.

He shuffled his feet.

He looked at the wall.

He twiddled his thumbs.

“IToldJiminAndJungkookAboutYouGuysBeingAnimagiButOnlyBecauseTheyPeerPressuredMeIntoItINeverMeantToBetrayYouSoPleaseDon’tBeMad.”

Yoongi blinked.

A few seconds passed by in silence, and the elder seemed to slowly comprehend what Taehyung just said.

“Fuck.”

“Fuck is right! I didn’t mean to, I swear! They haven’t told anyone else, and I know it was such a shitty thing for me to do, I never wanted to hurt you like that, I should’ve known to keep my mouth shut and I should’ve been stronger but Jimin is so persuasive and pushy, I just folded and Jungkook was there and-”

“Merlin’s beard Tae, shut up.”

“W-what?” Taehyung mumbled, fighting back tears.

“I said, shut up. It’s fine.”

“B-but it’s not fine. If you’re caught then you could be-”

“Taehyung, do you work for the Ministry?”

“Uh, no?”

“Does your family?”

“No.”

“How about your closest friends?”

“. . . no.”

“Do you even know how to contact the Ministry?”

“. . . . . . . . . . no.”

“Exactly.” Yoongi took his wand out and removed Taehyung’s silence spell.

“What do you mean, exactly? You knew I told them?”

“I guessed you would. Actually Namjoon calculated the exact percent chance that you would, with muggle math for fuck's sake. I’m surprised it took this long for you to spill though. My bet was days ago.”

“You bet on me sharing your secret?!”

“I was certain you would share me and Joon’s secret. Did I ever want you to know? Not really, but you work with what the goblins give you.”

“Goblins?”

“Pureblood thing.”

Taehyung stared at Yoongi. Did he just make a joke?

“Wait, then why’d you agree to this? You know Hoseok and Jin are-”

Yoongi shrugged.

“I don’t care if any of you five know. I trust you. Now this has happened, we will just let Hoseok and Jin find out naturally.”

On any other day, Taehyung would’ve teared up at the trust comment. Yoongi thought nothing of it though, and turned around to return to the group.

“Wait,” Taehyung grabbed the Slytherin's robes. “I. . . I don’t trust myself.”

“What?”

“I don’t trust that I can keep your secret. I want to, but I don’t think. . .” Taehyung swallowed and felt his eyes drop. Jimin was right. He was gullible. He would feel terrible if his naïve nature put his friends in harm’s way. Not to mention Yoongi expected this. He expected Taehyung to fail. Tae didn't want to be perceived like that, like a bad friend.

“Hey,” Yoongi turned back around. “It’s okay. We can. . . pinky promise?”

“How do you know what that is?”

“I. . . well. . . Hoseok mentioned it the other day, and you always say muggle stuff, so I. . . I picked up a book on muggle slang in the library, that way I could understand you guys.”

Taehyung felt his heart burst in his chest.

“Awwww! Hyung!” Throwing himself onto Yoongi, Taehyung crushed him in a massive hug. “I love you too!”

Yoongi didn’t seem to understand what to do in a hug situation, so Taehyung let him go sooner than he’d normally (still, it was a solid twenty second hug. New record for Yoongi!). 

“But, as much as I love pinky promises, it changes nothing. Is there anything magically, uh, binding we can do? A potion maybe? A charm?” Taehyung wondered.

“There’s always unbreakable vows but-”

“Do it then.”

“What? Taehyung, an unbreakable vow would kill you if-”

“I don’t care. I’d be sending you to Azkaban if I broke it anyway. Might as well make it a life for a life.”

Yoongi scanned Taehyung’s face, searching for something the Hufflepuff didn’t know. The silence was too long, but this was what Taehyung wanted. Jimin said he was a pushover? Absolutely not. This was Taehyung taking life into his own hands. 

“We can talk about this later,” Yoongi muttered. “Let’s go exchange gifts.”

Taehyung nodded, unhappy but a little relieved. He was certain he wanted to go through with the vows, but still, it was a scary thing. Unbreakable. Forever. A secret he’d carry to his death. There was something almost poetic to it that made Taehyung feel alive. Feel wanted. Feel important. Feel brave.

The two boys walked back to the group, who were in various states of sitting, standing, and for some reason, in Hoseok’s state, floating. 

“We’re back, uh-” Yoongi started talking, but he was stopped staring at Jimin gently floating above Hoseok’s head.

“Great! Where are we going?” He asked, as if he was not currently levitating.

“Uh-”

“The Room of Requirement,” Taehyung said.

“Cool! I’ve never been there before!” Hoseok added. “Kook, you can float Jimin all the way there for practice.”

“I’m not sure that’s a great idea-” Yoongi started but was interrupted when a present suddenly shot through the air. It whizzed past Jimin’s head and collided into the ground at Jungkook’s feet. 

Everyone turned towards the hallway where the flying present appeared, and saw (with expressions of horror), a sea of presents magically being summoned through the air at top speed.

Jimin screamed bloody murder, but Jungkook didn’t set him down in time. The presents knocked Jimin from the sky, who landed on top of Jin. Hoseok yelped, trying to reach his wand for a shield, but since he had presents in his hands, he was thrown backwards. Namjoon hit the ground military style, covering his head and protecting his glasses. Yoongi simply pulled out his wand and sent up an invisible shield for himself and Tae. They got to watch as the storm of presents found their final target, the man who summoned them, Jungkook.

He was buried under a mountain made of Taehyung’s, Jimin’s, and Jungkook’s own gifts. Taehyung couldn’t even see his head anymore. 

When the dust settled and the present avalanche was done, Yoongi removed the shield to assess the damage. Running over, Taehyung howled in laughter at Jungkook, who had half crawled from the pile. His face and one hand had clawed their way to the surface, leaving a disgruntled Jungkook-gift-monster behind. The other boys slowly made their way over as well, laughing at the poor maknae.

“Wait! I was going to give this to Hoseok but-” Jin grabbed one of the presents off the floor and ripped apart the packaging. Inside was a chunky camera, with strange big lenses that didn’t look quite like the muggle disposable cameras Taehyung was used to. “This is the perfect opportunity.”

Jin lined up the weird camera to his face and a flash of white light went off. It woke Jungkook from his stupor, sending him into a thrashing mess of pleading and begging.

“NO HYUNG, WAIT! NO THAT’S EMBARRASSING-”

But it was too late.

Jin was holding a moving Polaroid of Jungkook, buried in presents.