“Oui Oui, mon loup”
I thought I was going to die. Like I said I drank a lot on the party and the pounding in my head proved it. I had a severe headache from all the alcohol I consumed and of thinking about what I said and your reaction. You had said that Amber was your favorite color, and Amber so happens to be my eye color.
I thought it was a coincidence Lily didn’t agree with me, she thought we were going to have some epic love story and I had desperately hoped that she was correct, but the thought felt too good to be true. Now I know for sure that we had an epic love story. I do wish it had lasted longer though.
I had just gotten to the shop when I heard music blaring from a radio standing on the ground next to painting supplies. You were standing with your back towards me and were dancing to the beat of the music while softly singing along to the tunes. Then I heard what you were listening to and my ears were filled with the wonderful voice of David Bowie.
“Hello” I said trying not to scare you. You freezed and turned to look at me with black messy curls framing your face. I pointed toward the radio, “David Bowie?” You nodded and smiled at me. I moved towards you so that we were no longer 10 meters apart but merely two or three, the difference felt huge with you. You smiled up at me.
“Should we start washing the last wall then?” I asked. “Yeah!” You said almost out of breath before you seemed to remember something “I brought you pain killers for the headache you probably has right now, you drank a lot” You bent over to the radio and picked up a glass of water and a bottle of pills. “Oh my good thank you, you are an angel” I said happily accepting the pills. While feeling warmth spread in my chest at the thought of you thinking about me like that.
I took a sip of the water and gulped down the medicine. “It will take a while for it to set in so we can wait for a while if you want” You proposed but I merely shrugged. “Its fine” I said and we started to wash the fourth wall. I hummed along to the song currently playing on the radio.
“You never know, you might find it here on Black country rock” I sang along with the lyrics, I had unintentionally started to slightly bob my head to the beat and soon we both were singing or rather screaming the lyrics while dancing. I took a hold of your hands like I had done the night before and we were singing and dancing together with brushes filled with soapy bubbles laying on the ground covering our shoes with the bubbles and walls long ago forgotten.
Too soon we were out of breath and the song had ended, we let each other go and I felt the emptiness down to my bones from where you no longer were touching me. I wanted to grab a hold of you, keep you in my arms and never let you go. It was in that moment when we were both catching out breath still clutching each other’s hands and staring into each other’s eyes that I seemed to understand you were the love of my life, you still are. No one and I mean not a single soul on this planet will ever even compare to you Sirius.
“You like Bowie huh?” You asked me and raised an eyebrow. “Who doesn’t?” I asked you with the right side of my mouth twitching upwards.
“Good point” You smiled looking down at your shoes. It was probably not normal to just stand there with our hands intertwined so I untangle them and pick up my paint brush again. I did not want to make things weird between us again. It was really difficult to ignore you when every time I see you, I just want to kidnap you.
That sounds vile but I can’t think of a nice word that would describe the feelings I have towards you. I just want to be with you all the time and I want you to be near me all the time. I want to touch you and hug you; I want to talk to you for hours. I want to listen to you speak and then I want to tell you about my theories of why humans exist. I want you to be apart of my life for the rest of my existence.
“So you and Mary didn’t fit huh?” I asked. You look away slightly looking almost ashamed with your brows raised slightly upwards and your gaze turned towards the ground. “I guess not, I think I kind of forced it” I looked at you, I felt like I was trying to look into your soul to figure you out but I saw almost nothing like usual. “Why would you force it?” I asked, I am surprised how dense I was to not understand that you liked me too. I guess my Problem solving wasn’t as good as I had thought.
“Because I didn’t want the truth to be real” You said, you were speaking in riddles. I loved it. I wanted to figure you out, Open you up and see every little detail about you that I could, I wanted to study you until I knew you inside and out. “is the truth that bad?” I asked you.
“I thought it was” you said still not meeting my eyes. “What changed?” You looked at me now, properly looked at me it was like you were staring into my soul like I had just failed to stare into yours but desperately wished that I could.
“I realized that I should let myself be happy instead of denying what’s good for me” Its almost scary how fast our conversation got deep, I felt like I could trust you with the world and I frantically wished that you felt the same way.
“Good, you deserve everything good that the world has to offer”
“You think so?”
“No, I know so” I said firmly. A pink tint was slowly spreading onto your checks, and I needed you to understand that you were the most important thing in the whole world. You looked so gorgeous standing there blushing at something I said with a shy smile plastered on your face. Suddenly the overwhelming urge to kiss you hit me like a hurricane. I quickly restrained myself though, I could not loose control like that.
“I don’t think many people would agree with you” you said looking at me with a slightly sad pout, The urge came back even stronger, this time accompanied with fury. How could anyone ever want to cause you any harm. I wanted to make them suffer because who would dare to hurt such a precious person like you.
“Then they are fools, you are a star love” The pet name slipped out of my mouth without me registering it and your light tint from before were now a flaming red.
“You are the kindest person I’ve ever meet Remus” I felt a shiver run down my spine at the use of my name. “Then you clearly haven’t meet many decent people” I said looking at you with such an intensity I am pretty sure you could’ve figured out my feelings by just a quick glance in my direction.
“I have meet plenty decent people Remus, you should give yourself some more credit” I tried to laugh it off and move the conversation to another topic, you had hit too close too home. Even though you radiated safety and warmth I didn’t want you to see those parts of me that wasn’t happy and smiley all the time. I wanted you to like me, like me a lot even. You put a hand on my shoulder, and I could practically feel the electricity spark where our skin was touching.
“I think you deserve the world too Remus” you said tracing a scar on my skin with your thumb. I smiled at you and took a step closer. “Thank you, Sirius,” I said and then I put my arm around your shoulder and pressed our bodies together in a half hug. You immediately acted and wrapped your arms around my torso trapping me in a full bear hug.
Your face was resting in the crock of my neck. I could smell your coconut shampoo from where my nose was resting in your messy curls. You felt divine, I had never felt more home or more at peace than with you in my arms. You fitted perfectly like we were two puzzle pieces meant to stick together.
The second we parted I felt the loss of your body pressed to mine. You looked at me with eyes that must have been filled with adoration. There was no other way to explain the look you gave me, I felt like I was melting under your gaze. My knees almost became weak.
We were both wearing a pair of flushed expression and turned back to the wall with music blaring through the radio and the sun cooking us alive. I felt sweat drops trickle down my back and all over my forehead. I could distinctly hear the radio in the background switch to a voice saying “Congratulations Mr. you have just won a ticket to the Alp’s for a skiing trip this winter, you got every question right on todays theme about Roman Mythology! Come back next week for a new competition and you may be the next winner.” I huffed. I bet I would get every question right too maybe I would get the skiing trip then, but then again I don’t know if I was so interested in skiing in the alps.
“Who gives out skiing trips in the middle of the summer?” You said with a breathy chuckle. Your light green T- Shirt had turned almost three shades darker, drenched with sweat. I laughed with you “That is really odd” We smiled together.
“Do you like skiing?” I asked and you simply shrugged. “I guess, its okay. How about you?”
“It’s fun, I do it a lot at home in Wales.” You snapped your head in my direction and your eyes widened. “You’re from Wales?”
“Yeah”
“I knew I recognized your accent” you said, and you looked so proud to have guessed right. I smiled to myself.
“Are you from France?” I asked thinking about your subtle French accent.
“That’s unfairly easy, you can clearly guess that I am French,” You said knitting your eyebrows together and sticking out your bottom lip.
“Well, France is kind of awesome. Do you know any French?”
“Yes, do you know any French?” You asked challenging me. I just chuckled and raised an eyebrow,
“Oui?” You busted out laughing, you sounded heavenly.
“Tu es mon idiot” You said a heavy French accent dripping like golden honey from your voice. I had never in my life felt more attracted to you. “Oi, did you just call me an idiot?” I huffed and bumped your shoulder with mine. “Oui Oui, mon loup” You continued teasing me. I felt blood rush straight to my cheeks and embarrassingly straight too my junk. You were so fucking attractive.
“It’s so hot” I said after a while of silent painting except singing along to some songs we both like on the radio. We had just finished the last wall. I laid down onto the grass with my face turning up to the fiery sun. Sweat was practically dripping from me, and I could not have smelled rather pleasant. “Do you want to go to the lake to cool off?” You asked. It was the first time we have ever hung out without a purpose.
“Yeah” I said airily. “I don’t have a pair of swimming shorts though” I quickly reminded myself and you. “No worries you could just borrow mine, You are a bit taller than me but I think I have a pair that I got from my friend, they are like three sizes too big I don’t know if I should be offended that they bought me them” You joked.
“A bit taller? More like a head taller” I teased you patting my hand on your shoulder. Its like ever since I started to touch you I couldn’t stop. I just found myself reaching out to pat you on the arm or your back when you said something funny or when you said something sweet. I can’t help myself but to feel drawn towards you.
“Being bigfoot is hardly something to be proud of” you said putting a hand on my chest and slightly pushing me away in a playful manner. “You love that I am tall, I’ve heard that I give amazing hugs because of it.” I said beaming at you.
“Yeah you do, you practically wrap me up in a cocoon!” You said pretending to whine about it putting on a fake pout. “Last time I checked it was you who initiated the hug” I teased you. Everything was so lovely, you were so lovely always smiling and happy about everything.
I ended up fitting your too big bathing suit and we took my bike to cycle to the lake. You had left your bike at Alphard’s place to walk to the shop that day so when I suggested we bike there you said you couldn’t. I suggested that you should just sit on the package holder, that Lily, Mary and I do it all the time.
We sat on the bike, and you wrapped your slightly tanned, glossy with sweat arms around my torso to hold on. My heart stopped I could only focus on your hands around me and that was the only thing I could think about the entire ride. You were talking about some customer who had been rude and how you sometimes despised working in Alphard’s shop because it attracted so many tourists.
I was so focused on you, the way your hands stretched and hold onto my shoulders, the way your forearms were pressed against my chest. You were holding me like you were my backpack and I was loving it. I couldn’t stop focusing on how your subtle French accent made every word you said sound round and exclusive.
I almost missed the path down to my favorite lake, it is a hidden one. No one is ever there. I had never shown it to someone before you. You were the only one I ever took there; it was my spot. I had spent so many hours growing up there reading books, escaping annoying guests or house duties. This place felt like my heart and you were the only one I’ve ever let in.
The place in question has big willow trees hovering over the lake in the middle of the opening in the forest. On one of the willow trees there is attached a swing I sat up when I was seven years old. I remember being surprised that it lasted as well as it did for 10 years.
“This place is gorgeous” You said as I showed you the lake. I nodded trying to restrain myself from saying something as absurd as ‘not as gorgeous as you’ What have you done to me my dear Star? The effects you have on me shouldn’t be normal, It couldn’t me healthy to be so attached to someone as I was to you, especially because we had known each other for a little over three weeks. But you had created such a big impact on me on such a short time. It just shows that I will always love you, whatever the time is, whatever you have done. I will always choose you my navigation star.