The unbreakable vow
POV Ominis
Today Valerian and I were to go back to Felcroft.
It was an important day. Valerian and I agreed to make the unbreakable vow with Sebastian’s help. I was feeling both nervous and eager, I’m not quite sure why. Perhaps it’s because it made our engagment more real.
I was worried about her taking her vows as I hadn’t asked for her father’s approval yet. I discussed it with her, but she insisted whatever his anwser would be, she would marry me either way and she explicitly said it was non negociable.
We all had breakfast together and later Valerian and I each packed our clothes.
We said our farewell to her parents, and I thanked them dearly for their hospitality.
I could see how hard it was for her them to let her go. I guess that’s what parents should feel when their child leaves. Her mother almost shed tears. I could hear her voice tremble at Valerian’s departure.
I took Valerian’s hand and we then apparated at Felcroft in the living room.
It was quiet. I was looking for Sebastian’s shadow when I heard a voice.
« Well, welcome back guys » said Sebastian expecting us.
I turned around. He was sitting on a chair around the table.
« Good to see you again » I said warmly.
He stood up and we gave eachother a quick hug. I then stepped back by Valerian’s side.
« Hello Sebastian » she said with her beautiful angelic voice.
« Hi » he replied. « Nice ring Valerian. I guess congratulations are in order. See ? I told you she’d say yes » he nagged.
I just rolled my eyes.
« Thank you Sebastian » replied Valerian nicely.
« So, as you’re standing before me, I guess her father didn’t finish you and took your demand for his daughter’s hand well ! » he joked.
« You’re hilarious. But as a matter of fact, I haven’t asked him for Valerian’s hand yet. I will once we’re done with my family » I confessed.
« Ohh, living in sin are we ? » he teased.
« I’ m sure my father will give his approval. Ominis made quite the impression on him. Besides I get a say in who I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I want to spend it with Ominis » she said fondly.
I squeezed her hands to her words.
« Well I’m glad to hear it then » said Sebastian not souding as thrilled as I thought he would be.
I then felt Nathara jump onto my shoulders. She was so happy to see me. She stroke my cheek with her head.
« Yes, me too. I’m happy to see you. Yes, I missed you too » I replied to her in parseltongue.
« She was eager to see you again » stated Sebastian.
« I’m sorry Nathara, but you know I couldn’t take you with me. Valerian’s parents aren’t accustomed to our ways, they are muggles. They would have been frightened. But one day you’ll meet them too » I explained to her in Parseltongue.
She just hissed.
« By the way Ominis, you got a letter while you were away from your family » he told prudently.
« I’m sure it’s a reminder that I must give them an answer shortly » I declared unenthousiastically. « Can you read it to me ? » I demanded.
« Sure » he said opening he enveloppe.
« Would you like me to leave ? » asked Valerian.
« No, you’re going to be my wife. You’re entiteled to hear whatever my family has to say, especially when it concerns you » I said gently.
« Go ahead » I signaled to Sebastian.
« Ominis, may I remind you that your father was kind enough to give you some time to think about the marriage proposal. That doesn’t mean you can take forever. Don’t think you can get out of this. Lady Malfoy is a perfect match for you. I couldn’t care less if you love her or not. This isn’t about love. It’s about forging powerful bonds and allying 2 great families, therefore keeping our pure blood heritage. You have a duty to your family. You have until Halloween to give us your answer. » said Sebastian motontone.
« And your mother didn’t even bother signing the letter, as usual » finished Sebastian.
I wasn’t even surprised in the least.
Valerian just wrapped her arms around me. I knew she felt sorry for me and it was her way of showing me her support.
I hugged her back dearly.
« Ominis, I don’t think you shoud delay any longer the unbreakable vow » he advised.
Valerian and I were now looking at eachother’s shadows. I put my hand on Valerian’s cheek gently and stroke it.
« Are you still willing to make the unbreakable vow with me ? » I murmured.
« Yes Ominis. » she stated firmly.
« Are you absolutely sure ? » I asked wanting to make sure she meant it.
« I won’t change my mind. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life » she said joyfully.
I kissed her beautiful lips tenderly.
« There’s nothing I’d like more » I murmured to her ear.
We couldn’t resist our urge to kiss. I had to restrain myself for the past few days, though luckily we did share intimet moments. Now her father wasn’t around to keep us appart.
Our kiss grew passionate as I grabbed her waist hastly, plunging my lips deeper into hers forgetting the world around me.
« Hey, guys. I’m still there in case you had forgotten » said Sebastian sarcastically.
I parted my lips from Valerian’s and smiled.
« Sorry » I just said not meaning a word of it. I was never sorry to kiss my fiancé.
I rested my forehead on hers, caressing her beautiful curves as she did on my neck.
« When would you like to proceed ? » asked Sebastian.
« Why don’t we do it now ? That way it will be done and you will be … mine » she said shily as Sebastian was there.
« If you’re ready, so am I » I declared lovingly.
« We need to go over the details with Valerian first » noted Sebastian.
« Of course. Let’s sit » I suggested.
We all sat on the couch. I was still holding her hand.
Sebastian went over every details with us, expalining to Valerian specifically what had to be said.
« Ominis, after your mother’s letter, I don’t think you need to vow to love Valerian as I’m sure they won’t ask you to love Malfoy » he explained.
These words were outrage to my ears.
« I will vow to love her for the rest of my life Sebastian, because I’d rather die than live without her » I expressed clearly.
Sebastian didn’t answer. I was sure he was thinking it was pure madness. But he never fell in love so he couldn’t understand this.
« Valerian, you can just vow to marry him, so you’ll be free of any danger » stated Sebastian.
« I’m sorry but I won’t » declared Valerian sorrowfully.
I felt my heart litteraly stop. Had she changed her mind ? Did she feel it was too much for her as I feared ? Of course it was her right to do so. I only wanted her happiness. But it’s just so sudden.
« I won’t just vow to marry him. I shall vow the exact same words Ominis will pronounce because I love him madly, because he is my future husband, because I can’t live without him either » she said determined as ever.
Sebastian let out a sigh of desperation.
« If ever you part with Ominis in the future, for whatever reason, you’ll die. And same goes for you Ominis ! This is madness ! » shouted Sebastian as he rose up on his feet.
« You’re right. It is. But I see no other way » I said regretfully.
« Sebastian, please understand. Wouldn’t you have vowed to love your sister to the end of times ? Wouldn’t you have vowed to stay by her side if you had been given the chance ? » said Valerian trying to reason with him gently.
I saw Sebastian’s shadow rush towards her and was now only a few steps away from her.
« Don’t you dare talk about her. You know nothing ! » he exclaimed harshly and furiousl.
I immediately stood up and put myself between him and valerian, pulling her behind me to protect her. I feared his sudden anger and actions. Sebastian could definitely get upset quickly and I knew he could be … out of control all so easily. I thought to myself I shouldn’t be thinking like that. What happened with his uncle was … unfortunate, but he left him no choice. I wondered if Sebastian could ever hurt someone again if he were out of control. I couldn’t take any chances with Valerian. I loved her too much. So I stood right in front of him so he couldn’t get any closer to her. I didn’t quite understand why he was so upset though. He knew what we were getting ourselves into. And why was he so harsh with Valerian anyway ? She was only trying to make him understand that we would do anything in the name of love. And no one knows that more than Sebastian. He did terrrible things in the name of love for his sister after all.
« Sebastian ! » I shouted angrily looking in his direction.
I took Valerian’s hand in mine, still standing in front of her.
He just stood there, probably enraged.
He then just walked way and slammed the door on his way outside.
I just stood there in disbelief. What just happened ? Why was he so incensed ?
Valerian stepped in front of me and raisd her hand to my jaw.
« I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset him » she appologised in a sorrowful voice.
« I don’t know what got into him. But I know it is not your fault Valerian » I said landing my hand on hers against my cheek, then moved it to my lips so I could kiss it.
« I think you should talk to him. Something is clearly upsetting him. And I might have an idea on why » she admitted sadly.
« Then please tell me » I implored.
She sighed troubled.
« Before, it was just you, Sebastian and Anne. You were the third amazing addition. He was the one that had a girl and the best friend by his side. He shared his love for you and Anne. But now, his sister is dead. And you now have the girl and the best friend. It’s like you swapt places. You are now engaged, and soon to be married. In his mind, he might think you’ll cast him aside, that you’ll spend less time with him because you will have matrimonial duties. And he won’t have his sister to keep him compagny. I think he sees me as the person that is stealing you away from him, and the person that is trying to replace Anne in some way » she explained calmly.
« But that’s not true at all, at least that’s not how I see it ! » I exclaimed.
« I know you don’t. But that’s how he feels. And you must reassure him. He’s just afraid you know, afraid to lose his brother. You’re the only family he has left. » she explained lovingly.
I was amazed once more of how compassionate and clever she was. Her superpower was to understand people. And she always helped me see beyond anger, and see things for what they truely were. That was one of the many reasons I loved her.
« You’re formidable, you know that ? » I declared affectionately.
She chuckled.
« Well, I love to hear you say it » she admited.
« Now go, talk to him. I will go to the market and get some food. I’ve got the feeling I won’t be able to find much here to prepare lunch » she obeserved.
« You don’t have to do this » I told her kissing her hand.
« But I’m happy to. Besides, I know you have proven to posess great skills in peeling, but that won’t be enough to feed yourself » she teased.
I laughed.
« You’re probably right » I replied adoringly.
« Go. Talk to him. I’ll see you later » she ordered kindly.
« Ok » I replied softly.
I gave her a sweet kiss. She then left and I then found Sebastian outdoors. We needed to have a proper conversation. But I knew how easily he could get worked up so I would have to be diplomatic. He was sitting by his sister’s gave.
I sat beside him. He didn’t bulge.
« You ok ? » I demanded not sure how to start the conversation.
Of couse, he didn’t reply.
« I haven’t visited Anne’s grave enough » I said mournfull.
He was still not talking to me.
« She wouldn’t have liked us arguing » I stated.
He just remained silent.
« Sebastian, is there anything you’d like to tell me ? » I asked gently.
After a short while, he finaly spoke.
« Look, I didn’t mean to sound so harsh » he blurted.
« But you were harsh. I don’t believe Valerian deserved it » I said calmly.
I heard him sigh.
« Are you angry with me ? » I demanded delicately.
« No, of course not. Why would I be angry with you ? » he said ardently.
« Are you angry with Valerian then ? » I asked.
He didn’ reply immediateely.
« No » he answered.
« So why did you snap at her ? » I inquired smoothly.
He took time to think before he replied.
« I don’t really know. I think I feel … lonely I guess. Without Anne by my side, and you off with Valerian soon enough, I’ll have no one left. » he finally declared slightly bitterful.
« Sebastian. I’m sorry you feel that way. You know I’ll always be there for you. We’re family. But Valerian will officially be my family too soon enough » I reminded.
« Yeah, but you’ll leave. You’ll get a place of your own. You’ll want to spend all your time with her, which I understand, truely. But I guess I’m dreading it. I feel like Valerian is taking over Anne’s place in our lives. » he admitted mournful.
He was afraid to be alone. Valerian was right.
« Sebastian, we’re the Sebminis team. We’ll work together in the future. We’ll see eachother everyday. When we will have children, you’ll be their cool uncle teaching them to sneak around undetected » I confessed.
We both laughed.
« I think … I’m still mad about her dying before she had the chance to live. I always imagined you and her getting married you know, as she had a crush on you for so long. I think she still loved you until her last breath » admitted Sebastian mournfully.
« And we would have officially been part of the same family, true brothers. We would have all lived together and would have been happy. I know I shouldn’t think like this. I like Valerian. And I know she’ll be a good wife to you because she loves you, because you both love eachother » he professed.
« Sebastian, a brother not born from blood can still be a brother in every way. We are true brothers in every way that matters. We’re brothers in spirit, and that’s a bond that will be forever unbroken. I think you should know I didn’t feel the same way about Anne. Though I loved her as a sister, it was not the same kind of love I feel for Valerian. In a way, I’m glad she doesn’t have to witness my engagment. I know she would have been happy for us, but I would have despised myself for hurting Anne. Sebastian, she and I weren’t meant to be. I know that’s not what you wished for. But that doesn’t make you any less my brother » I assured him.
« I know. And you’re probably right. It would have been hard for Anne. But I know she’s happy for you where ever she is. She would have never wanted you to remain single just for her sake » he confessed.
« I belive so » I replied sorrowfully.
« You know, I also have hopes. I was hoping you would agree to let Valerian and I live here, with you for a while, you know, once we’ll be married, because you both mean everything to me. She’s going to be my wife and you are my brother. Nothing will ever change that. I want us to be a family of our own, the three of us. » I said vigorously.
« You want to live here ? With Valerian ? And me ? Really ? » he asked surprised.
« Only if you have no objection. I love her Sebastian. I need her, and this is the place where I feel at home, with you. And I want to share it with the love of my life » I narrated.
It took him a few seconds to sink my words in.
« Ominis, I’d be glad to. This is your home, Anne made sure of it. And I will be glad to welcome Valerian into our home. In fact I was hoping we could live here, together next semester, you and me ? Before you get married that is. » he admited.
« Do you mean it ? Would you truely be glad to welcome Valerian ? » I asked checking.
« I would yes » he replied honnestly.
« Thanks. It means a lot to me. And I like the idea of us both living here together before I get married. We can always apparate to school erveryday. » I replied.
I was now imaginin myself living here full time. But it was hard to picture it without Valerian by my side. Though Im sure she’d be there all the time.
« You do realise Valerian will often be here though ? »I sated obviously.
« Yes, I do » he replied compassionately.
« You should know that I’ve … asked her to stay for a couple of days here. I hope you don’t mind. I could barely touch her when we were at her parents’. I want to spend some time with her. And you. All together. And don’t worry, I’ll always make some time for just the both of us » I promissed.
« I’m … ok with that. So, daddy Matthews was rough on you ? » he joked.
I pushed him gently as I laughed.
« He was clearly old fashioned. But that didn’t stop us from spending some intimate time together » I confessed with a big smile.
« Ohh, sneaking around did you ? That’s my slytherin man ! » he said laughing. « What about her mother ? What’s she like ? »
« Her mother’s very kind and she likes me. She was thrilled about our engagment » I told him.
« She knows ? » he exclaimed astonished.
« Yeah, it’s thanks to her I could propose to Valerian. Thank Merlin doesn’t play by the same rules as M.Matthews ! » I exclaimed.
« Well, I’m glad. Now you just need daddy Matthews’ approval and you’re good to be married » he teased.
« Yeah. Valerian’s convinced he’ll accept. So we’ll have to wait and see » I said cautiously.
« He’d be crazy not to. You’re a great person Ominis. I’m sure he’s seen it in you, like I do, like everyone does. And Valerian too» he said kindly.
« Thanks Sebastian. You know, no one could ever replace Anne, not in my heart nor in yours. She had a unique place. But that doesn’t mean I can’t love anyone else » I explained gently.
« I know. I’m sorry. I was just … scared. I don’t want you to forget about me, to be cast aside because you’ll have duties to your … wife » he confessed.
« I know. But there’s no reason to be. I want you to be part of my family, of my future with Valerian. If it eases you, we could declare a Sebminis day, just you and me. No girls allowed. Just two brothers probably up to no good. » I said as I laughed.
« Actually, I’d like that very much » he admited laughing.
« Great ! Then we’ll come up with a day then and make it a thing » I said enthousiastic.
« What will Valerian say ? » he asked fearfully.
« She’d be the first one to encourage it. So you’re ok with her being here most of the time if I am to live here ? » I told.
« I am » he replied genuinely.
We both remained silent for a while.
« I think you owe Valerian an appologie, don’t ou think ? » I questioned.
« You’re right. I do. And I’m truly happy for the both of you, and thrilled that we will get to all live together » he acknowledged.
« Me too » I let on.
We sat there for a while, thinking about Anne. Then we thought we ought to return inside. Whe we entered, it smelt incredibly good. Valerian was cooking a shephered’s pie. « You know, I’m actually relieved to know that she’ll live with us soon enough, because if she didn’t we would never eat properly » joked Sebastian.
We both laughed. Though I would never let her do all the cooking.
I advanced towards her, grabbing her by the wast and kissed her neck as she chuckled.
« It smells amazing Valerian » I said thruthfully.
She turned around swiftly, threw her arms around me and kissed me. I was about to lose myself in our kiss when I remembered Sebastian was here and I didn’t want him to feel left out. So I stopped our kiss, now looking in her direction. I then looked at Sebastian, waiting for him to appologise to her.
« Valerian, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just miss my sister so much. And I know it sounds riddiculous, but I just didn’t want you to take her place. There was 3 of us for so long, and now she’s gone, yet we are 3 once more. It felt like you had replaced her somehow. And I was afraid Ominis would forget about me, having matrimonial duties to fulfill. I was afraid he’s abandon me for you » he said his voice trembling and in tears.
« It’s ok Sebastian. I had figured it out. But no one could ever replace her you know. I wish I had known her better, because she seemed like an exeptional person. And that’s why no one could ever replace her, no matter what. I am not her and do not seek to take her place, but I hope you will allow me a place in your heart nonetheless, as I love Ominis and you are his family. That means you’ll be my family too. You’ll be my brother-in-law. That is if you’ll accept this title » she said affectionately.
Sebastian stood steady for a moment, then lunged uppon her, hugging her.
« Thank you Valerian. I needed to hear that. And of course I’ll accept you as my sister-in-law. I’d like that very much. In fact I am looking foward to you moving in with us » he said genuinely to her.
Oh Merlin. I hadn’t asked Valerian to come and live with us yet. I could feel my heart race. Would she think I claimed some kind of ownership over her just because we would be married ?
« Oh, I didn’t know I was going to move in with you guys » she said chuckling.
Sebastian suddenly let go of her.
« I … I … was going to ask you. I thought … once we were … married, we could live here … with Sebastian … in our home » I confessed shily.
« Man, you didn’t ask her yet ? » he said lecturing me.
« We didn’t have time to go over the details ! » I exclaimed panicked.
She laughed.
« I’d love to. Of course only if Sebastian is ok with it » she said compassionately.
« I am. Truely. I’m looking foward to it. » he replied thruthfully.
« Are you sure you’re ok with this ? The both of us living here with Sebastian ? » I said haltingly.
« I am. I mean who else is going to feed you properly ? Besides, we are family, or will be anyway. And family sticks together, no matter what » she said determined.
Sebastian laughed and I pulled her into my arms and kissed her.
« Have I told you how much I love you today ? » I demanded in awe to her words.
« You have. But you can tell me as many times as you’d like » she joked.
I kissed her once more.
« I’m so happy for the both of you, truely » said Sebatian emotionally.
« I know. Thank you » said Valerian sweetly.
« Right, it’s almost ready. Shall we lay the table ? » she suggested.
« We’ll take care of it Valerian » I told her.
Valerian had done enough already. So Sebastian and I got to work.
When then sat together around the table and ate our lunch. We reminissed my proposal to Sebastian, as well as all the events of these past few days. Sebastian had a good laugh at hearing everything that happened with Valerian’s father.
I cherrished this moment, having lunch with my future wife and best friend. Sebastian and I have known loss, the loss of his sister and his parents. But now we were about to extend our family welcoming Valerian first, and hopefully one day children of our own.
Sebastian and I cleared the table and did the washing up while Valerian watched us working wanting to help, but we refused.
« Sebastian, I want you to cast the unbreakable vow spell ... please » she demanded determined.
« Only if you are both absolutely sure » he demanded once las time.
« I am » stated Valerian determined.
I looked at her shadow. She wanted this. I knew it. I couldn’t stop her even if I wanted to.
« So am I » I declared also determined.
« Then let’s begin » he announced.
We regrouped in the living room by the fireplace. Sebastian had asked us to hold eachother’s wrists.
« Are you sure you can cast it ? » I asked Sebastian.
« Yes, it will be fine » he assured.
« Are you feeling nervous ? » I asked Valerian feeling nervous myself.
«… a bit. But not because I’m afraid. I’m just happy to do this, it makes our engagment more real somehow » she said softly. « And I’m looking foward to start my life with you »
« Me too. I can’t wait » I said devotedly.
We both smiled.
« Are you ready ? » asked Sebastian.
« Yes » we both replied.
Sebastian took out his wand and pointed it to our arms.
I could see a string of light circle around our hands.
« Will you, Ominis Gaunt, vow to love Valerian Matthews ‘til death do you apart, and to marry her and make her your only wife, to remain loyal to her and her only never taking another wife while you live or die, to remain by her side always, to try and unite both of YOUR families ? » narrated Sebastian.
« I, Ominis Gaunt, vow to love you Valerian Matthews until death do us apart , I vow to marry you and make you my only wife, to remain loyal to you and you only never taking another wife while I live or die, to remain by your side always, to try and unite both our families » I repeated fondly.
« Will you, Valerian Matthews, vow to love Ominis Gaunt until death do you apart, and to marry him and make him your only husband, to remain loyal to him and him only never taking another husband while you live or die, to stay by his side always ? » he satted once more.
« I, Valerian Matthews, vow to love you Ominis Gaunt until death do us apart , I vow to marry you and make you my only husband, to remain loyal to you and you only never taking another husband while I live or die, to stay by his side always » she repeated lovingly.
Sebastian then stopped the spell and the lights around our wrists vanished.
I inhaled heavily, relieved to have made my vows to Valerian.
If this would work, then I won’t have to marry that Malfoy cockrach and I could spend the rest of my life with Valerian. I felt a sudden joy in my heart, strangely enough, this engagment was more real that my proposal. And I couldn’t help but grab her face and kiss her passionately. She then wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back eagerly.
« I now declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride » joked Sebastian.
We stopped our kiss as we all laughed, still holding eachother.
« Very funny » I replied.
Valerian then took my hand in hers.
« I’m glad we’ve done this » she said longingly.
« So am I, my magnificent fiancé » I said as I kissed her hand.
I could feel a sence of pride, calling her my fiancé. Because now, we were linked for the rest of lives. She was now mine and mine only. And this thought was satisfying.
« I should leave you to it » declared Sebastian.
I could hear the pitch of his voice sounding a bit low, like he had to leave us.
« Why don’t you stay, you could give me some jucy details about Ominis’ past » chuckled Valerian.
« So you can use this information to tease me ? I don’t think so » I replied with a smile.
« Hey ! My mum gave YOU jucy details to embarass me. So as your future wife, I claim for the same ! » she said laughing.
I was about to reply but Sebastian got there first.
« Oh, there’s so much you need to know Valerian, like the time where Ominis …. » he started.
Sebastian started telling her about all my embarassing moments, how I was as a teen and much more as we sat down on the sofa all together. I pulled Valerian on my lap, embracing her waist. She was stroking my arms, listening carefully to Sebastian’s stories.
I tried to justify myself here and there, but I could see it was pointless.
We spent most of the afternoon just talking and sharing great memories of our past.
Later, Valerian and I went for a stroll. I showed her around Felcroft as she met a few villagers. She confessed she could see herself living there, in this quiet little village with me and Sebastian. And it only made me love her more.
We then came home to prepare dinner. I helped Valerian in the kitchen. She showed me how to make cullen skink. I was paying attention to every detail as I wanted to learn. But it wasn’t easy trying to keep my focus on the food while she was there. All I wanted was to grab her thighs and lift her up on the kitchen table, remov her top and kiss her maddly, caress my hands on every inch of her legs, then pleasure her to the point of madness.
But Sebastian was there, reading the register book. So I had to control myself.
When we had finished cooking, we all had dinner together.
Sebastian told us about the Halloween dance at school and we all though it would be nice to go, to enjoy some time with our friends, and of course Valerian. How I would love to dance with her. Fortunately, I knew how, thanks to my horrid mother. She had always insisted I learnt ho to dance, to make them look good and not shame the family.
We then cleared the table and did the washing up. It was now quite late.
« Well I’m going to bed. See ou guys tomorrow » declared Sebastian tired.
« Good night » we replied.
He entered what was one Anne’s room and closed the door, leaving Valerian and I in the dining room.
Suddenly I could feel my heart beat faster. I was nervous. I was alone here with Valerian. But that was something I was accustomed to. However it was now time to go to bed. And I wanted her to share my bed and sleep in my arms. Although we weren’t maried yet, I didn’t know if she’d agree. I would have to ask her if she was willing to. What if she’d refuse ? It was up to me to make her feel safe in my bed after all !
« V-Valerian, you must be tired. I … I … » I mumbled.
She chuckled.
« I know you want to ask me something. Go ahead » she said gently.
« Well, I … was wondering if … you’d agree … to … sleep with me ... tonight ? » I confessed my face completely scorching.
« Omnis, we’re not married yet » she reminded modestly.
« I know. But we’re engaged. We’ve made an unbreakable vow. That means I am yours forever. I thought … I just … want to sleep by your side. I know you don’t feel ready for … more. I just … want to hold you in my arms while I sleep. I would never hurt you, or push you into things you do not wish for Valerian. I just need to feel your presence while I sleep. Nothing more will happen. You have my word. I want you to … feel safe with me » I declared hesitantly.
She paused for a moment, crossing her arms.
But this moment seemed to last forever. I could feel myself panting anxiously.
« I do feel safe with you Ominis. And I trust you. I want to sleep in the same bed with you, so I guess it would be acceptable as we are now engaged » she replied. But I could feel a slight fear in her voice.
« You don’t have to if you don’t want to Valerian. If you think it’s too soon, we’ll wait » I confessed affectionately.
« No. It’s ok. I … want to sleep by your side » she replied shyly.
I was just so thrilled that she would even accept sharing my bed. I know it was a huge step for her, and I would have to behave myself, and make her feel safe.
I took her hand in mine and pulled her slowly and gently to my bedroom.
We entered my room, still hand in hand.
« There’s … a bathroom right there in the bedroom, if you need… to change » I said with a shaky voice.
« Thanks. I’ll … put my night gown on then » she replied nervous.
We were clearly not at ease. She opened her case and took her belongings with her in the bathroom. I let her get changed and prepare for bed. I would have loved to undress her slowly and sensually, kissing her shoulders going up to her neck, savouring her exquisite soft skin.
I shook my head to come back to reality. She needed to feel safe, to be reassured. I had every intention of being a good fiancé and acknowledge her feelings and fears, meaning I would not force her into anything undeasent.
I undressed and put a pair of shorts on as well as a T-shirt. I usually slept in my underwear. But tonight I thought I’d better wear more clothing, to make her feel at ease. I was feeling a bit nervous. I’m not sure why because I knew nothing would happen. But I guess it was a big step in our relationship, sleeping together.
After a while, she came out of the bathrom. I wanted so badly to see with my hands what she was wearing. But I thought it wouldn’t be wise as I knew I’d be unable to control myself afterwards.
« Shall … we go to bed ? » I asked.
I felt stupid after saying these words. It was obviously the next step. But I felt embarassed and didn’t know what else to say.
« … Of course » she replied.
This situation was akward and we were both too tense. And I didn’t like that. I wanted us to feel free to talk things through and be ourselves.
We both got into bed and laid down. Valerian kept her distance looking towards the ceiling.
« Valerian, I can feel how … nervous you are, and to be frank, so am I. But I don’t want us to be. Can we talk about it ? » I demanded sweetly.
She turned on her side, and we were now both facing eachother.
« I … would like that, yes » she replied easing up a little.
I took her hand in mine, holding my wand in the other hand.
« Why are so nervous ? You know you can tell me anything Valerian » I told trying to ease her mind.
« I know you would like to have me completely. The truth is, I’m a bit scared » she admited.
« Valerian, I would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do, ever. And if you’re not ready that’s perfectly fine. » I assured.
« I know. That’s not what I’m afraid of » she replied anxiously.
« Then what are you afraid of ? Is it because we’re not married yet ? » I demanded restless.
« … no, I mean we’ve sworn eachother our fidelity through the unbreakable vow. So no, that’s not it » she said sincerely.
« Please, tell me » I begged.
« I … want to be yours entierly. But I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. My inexperience scares me » she explained her voice trembling.
I moved closer to her, now taking her into my arms.
« You know, I’m also nervous because I’m also inexperienced. I have … a general idea of what to do thanks to my fellow teenage classmates at Hogwarts. But I can’t really read about it and I have no paternal figure to ask for advice. And I want it to be a special moment for you and me. I keep asking myself what if she doesn’t like it ? What if I’m no good ? » I said apprehensively.
I could feel my heart flutter to my own words.
She rested her hand on my cheek, caressing it gently.
« I guess we’re both pretty nervous at our inexperience » she said more calmly.
I just looked at her shadow silently for a moment.
« Have you ever talked about … this … to anyone before ? » I demanded shyly.
« Well, the girls used to talk about it, back in Beauxbaton academy. Of course none of them had actually … laid with a man before. But they knew a lot more than I did. They said it … hurt when the man entered the lady » she said fearfully.
So that’s what she was truely afraid of. I would never want to hurt her, if what she says is true of course, if these girls had never experienced this before, how could they know ? How could I know as I’m not a woman. There were too many unanswered questions which ony escalated my own furstration. I think I need to ask for help. And there’s only one person I could ask. Though I didn’t rejoice to the idea of having to ask for help, especially on THAT subject.
« Valerian, I would never want to hurt you. I understand better now why you’re afraid. I want us both to enjoy our first time. What if I told you I would see into it ? I think more facts and knowledge is what we need, to feel more relaxed about it. And maybe then we could make a decision. Would that ease your mind a bit ? » I demanded affectinately.
She smiled.
« It would yes. You’re the best fiancé one could dream of you know ? » she said lovingly.
« I don’t know about that, but I do know I love being engaged to you. If it weren’t for my family I would tell the world about it » I told passionately.
She chuckled.
I raised my free hand to her face, stroking her hair.
« How about we just sleep in eachothers arms for tonight, and when you will feel more comfortable, we could … spend some more intimate time together. Would that be ok with you ? » I inquired.
« Yes. It is. I love you Ominis » she declared fondly.
« And I love you Valerian » I replied.
I met my lips with hers before embracing her into my arms, both falling asleep.