The truth
POV Ominis
I didn’t find Sebastian at diner, I was beginin to worry. Where had he gone ?
Valerian was nowhere to be seen too. Actually many classmates didn’t come down for diner. It was a frightful day after all.
I had diner with Natsai. She was awfuly quiet. So I tried to find out what was on her mind.
- « What’s up Natsai ? You haven’t said a word tonight » I remarked.
- « Sorry, I didn’t mean to ignore you. What happened in class today was ...pretty terrifying » she said insecurely.
I said nothing. But I can imagine how terryfing it was for people that are not used to dark magic.
- « I think I am not meant for this Ominis. I seek justice, yes, but this … This is not what I had in mind » she continued.
- « It’s only going to get worse you know ? If you do become an auror, you will see things that most people will never see, things you will never forget despite your best attempts. You will be put in danger constently, and you will have to make tough choices, for example who gets to live or die in a situation » I explained gently to her.
She took a moment to think.
- « Yes, I understand. I have made up my mind Ominis. I won’t be staying. I’m leaving in the morning » she said heavily.
- « Are you sure this is what you want ? » I asked.
- « Yes, I’m sure. Don’t worry, I have other plans. I thought I could work for the ministry in the magical law reinforcement. That way I can still serve a just cause and send to askaban the dark wizards you shall send me » she declared.
- « And I’m sure you’ll do just fine, Natsai, what ever you do » I told her.
- « You’re a good friend Ominis, and a good person. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, espacially your family. And please, would you grant me a favour ? » she asked.
- « Of course Natsai. What can I do for you ? » I asked. I was curious to know what she wanted.
- « Please don’t let your shyness get in the way of your hapiness, and don’t let Sebastian obtain what YOU want » she insisted.
- « What do you mean ? » I asked wondering.
- « You know what I mean. The lovely Valerian » she teased.
I blushed to the mention of her name, thinking about the delightful intimate moment I had earlier. And I think I might have had the face of a man caught red handed because she laughed.
- « Promisse me you’ll ask her out » she challenged. « Ominis ? » she insisted.
I let out a sigh raising my eyes to the ceiling.
- « Fine, I will if it will soothe you. First I have to figure out how ! » I retorted.
I could imagine her satisfided look on her face.
- « Oh, before you go, I had a favour to ask you myself » I remembered.
- « Sure, what can I help you with ? » she asked.
- « Could you read Anne’s letter for me ? And help me write a letter in return ? » I demanded.
- « Sure. Let’s go some place more private. » she said.
So we went to the library.
I gave Natsai the letter. She opened it, and started reading aout loud.
Dear Ominis,
Thank you for your previous letter.
As I am not well enough to write anymore, Mrs Lynn has agreed to write it for me.
I hope you are ajusting to your new school and are making new friends. Anyone would be lucky to be your friend.
I had so hoped to be well enough to have accompagnied you to your first day at school, watching you as you entered the gates, happy, looking for new adventures to live. Unfortunately, my health wouldn’t let me. But I was with you, in my thoughts.
The place isn’t the same without you. I enjoyed our summer together, watching you train hard, playing games, talking late nights. I miss you dearly.
I was wondering if you would come and visit me soon ? I know you have a busy schedule, but I’m afraid it won’t be long now. The hospital thinks I won’t live through the end of the month.
I hope to hear from you soon.
PS : Don’t worry Nathara is well.
Ann
Natsai folded the parchement.
I was broken-hearted. She only had to the end of the month ! And then she will be gone, forever. I could feel tears runing down my cheeks. I whiped my eyes with my sleeve.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. Natsai was trying to confort me.
- « I’m sorry ominis » she said sorrowful.
I took in a deep breath, rested my forhead into my right hand, rubbing it gently.
I knew I had little time left to convince her to see Sebastian one last time.
- « Could we write that letter now ? » I asked almost whispering as I was to upset to use my full voice.
- « Of course » she answered.
She went to get a parchement, ink and a quill.
- « I’m ready when ever you are » she added.
Dear Anne,
You’ll be happy to know that Natsai is the one writing this letter.
It turns out goes to Naunington. But she will leave tomorrow as she doesn’t feel like the life of an auror is meant for her.
Please read the letter in it’s entirety.
Someone else also goes to Naunington. I was taken aback to find out that Sebastian is attending my school. I had no idea he was going to be there. And it has been 2 weeks now. He arrived before we all did, apparently he has been studying the entire summer here with the professors in order to catch up with us, though I don’t know yet how he managed it.
He misses you enormously you know. We had the opportunity to talk a bit. He is trying hard to make amends. But I can tell through the sound of his voice that he still feels guilty, and I’m afraid he hates himself deeply. I have seen him cry a few times since we got here, and the only time he ever cried was when your parents died. I remember your parents vividly. They welcomed me as one of their own. They were so kind, so clever. Your father was so pround to have twins. And your mother always told you to look after eachother. That we sould all look out for one and other.
What would they say now ? I know your parents would be heartbroken to see you both so distant. I know you think what Sebastian did was unforgivable. But then what is forgivness for if not to forgive our loved ones. I know you still love your brother. That love only tranformed into hate.
Don’t you think he’s been punished enough ? Are you realy going to leave him in his state to this cruel world ?
I’m afraid of what he might do if he dosn’t get the chance to see you before you go.
Isn’t it better to chose love over hate ?
You once said that hatred is for people that are unable to love.
Hate is for people like my family, bad people.
But you are good. Sebastian is also good despite his mistakes.
Isn’t it better to part on good terms ? Give him a chance to rebuild his life, because I’m not sure he’ll be capable if you leave this world without saying goodbye to him. He has learnt how to live without you, and now I think he is ready to accept your fate and say his farewells.
Please think about what I said. It is very important to me.
And I will come as soon as I can. And I hope you will allow Sebastian to come with me.
Love Ominis
- « Ominis, that was very moving. You would have convinced me. And you also shed a different light on Sebastian » said Natsai in awe.
- « Thanks ». I felt crushed. I was so hoping that she would change her mind after this letter. « Thanks for your help Natsai. You are also a good friend you know ? » I told her.
- « You’d better find a new pen friend to write to me ok ? I want to know how it goes for Sebastian. And of course how you are doing. Are more importantly, I want to hear the developpement with the Valminis couple » she teased.
- « Honnestly, Natsai, you’re unbelievable ! » I said laughing.
- « Take care you yourself my friend » she added.
- « You too » I replied.
I could feel her arms around my chest and I happily cuddled her in return.
Then we parted. I felt a bit downcast after all these events, Natsai leaving too.
I decided to go back to our doorms, hoping to find Sebastian there.
When I entered the living room, I heard Valerian rushing towards me.
- « Ah ! Ominis. There you are. I was looking for you » she said.
She was looking for me ? Why ? Could it be related to our very recent moment we shared ? Oh Merlin !
- « Sebastian is back. He’s in his bedroom » she informed me.
Finally. Where the hell had he been all day ?
- « Thanks Valerian » I replied.
- « Wait » she said suddenly.
- « What is it ? » I replied gently.
- « Cassandra told me she saw blood on his hands » she informed worried.
- « Blood ? Oh no ! I need to speak with him » I replied fearfully.
- « Of course. Let me know if you need anything » she said.
- « Thank you. I'll see you later » I replied and I stormed off to Sebastian’s bedroom, wondering what trouble he got himself into this time.
I knocked on the door unpatient.
- « Sebastian. It’s me, Ominis. Let me in please. » I inquired.
The door unlocked. So I entered.
- « Sebastian, where have you been ? » I asked worried.
I immediately closed the door behind me. I heard him sit on his bed.
He didn’t respond.
- « Sebastian, apparently you have blood on your hands. Is that true ? » I begged.
- « What ? Oh, yeah. I forgot about that » he replied. His voice was trembling. He sounded as if he were in shock.
- « Why are they covered in blood ? » I asked impatiently.
- « Don’t worry, I didn’t kill anyone if that’s what you were wondering » he replied in a monotone voice, lifeless.
I’ll admit that I did feel relieved.
- « So who’s blood is it ? » I asked still concerned.
- « It’s mine » he admitted.
- « Yours ? What did you do ? » I urged.
He didn’t reply.
- « Please talk to me Sebastian. Don’t shut me out » I pleaded.
He let out a sigh. A sigh of desperation.
- « I accidently clenched my fists too hard during this morning’s lesson and my nails dug into the palm of my hands causing them to bleed, that's all » he explained.
- « Shall we get you to the nurse ? » I asked
- « No, there’s no need. The blood has dried up anyway » he affirmed.
There was a silence.
I knew the time had come for a truthful conversation between us. I needed to know that I could trust him before I sent that letter to Anne. I had to know what he had been up to for the past 3 years to understand the Sebatian standing before me.
If I were to convince Anne, it was essential.
- « Sebastian, I always valued honnesty between us, so I need to tell you something » I started.
- « Is this about the letter ? » he asked.
- « It is. The letter was from Anne » I admited.
- « I figured » he replied, but he wasn’t angry.
He knew all this time ?
- « Do you think me uncapable of courting a woman ? » I joked.
He grinned.
- « I think you’re capable, but you might need a little help with that » he replied half serious, half joking.
And he was probably right.
- « Why didn’t you just tell me it was from her ? » he asked.
- « Because … » trying to think why I truly hadn’t told him. « Because I thought it would make you feel bad, and because I can’t ask YOU to read her letters as she explicitely asked me not to. And I was afraid that you would beg me again to reveal her whereabouts and you KNOW I can’t tell you. And I wish I could, which makes it all the more fustrating » I said raising slightly my voice.
Sebastian didn’t say anything just yet.
- « I understand. And I won’t ask you to betray my sister. That’s not who you are » he replied softly.
I was surprised by his answer, the old Sebastian would have insisted until he had his way.
- « Thank you » I answered. « I know how much you miss her, Sebastian. I … I believe you have changed, that is, I want to believe it. I want to help you, you AND Anne before it’s too late » I explained.
I coud see Sebastian’s green shadow rise up from his bed.
- « Do you think you can convince her to see me ? » he asked hopefully.
- « Maybe. But before I do, I need to ask you a few questions. And I need you to be compltely honest with me. No lying » I exclaimed.
- « You have my word Ominis » he prommised.
We both sat down, him on his bed, me on the chair.
- « Ok » I sighed. « Have you used dark magic since … since the incident ? »
- « No, I have been tempted by one leed in perticular, but I couldn’t go through with it »
I listened carefuly to his answers. I was relieved by his first answer.
- « Do you intend on using dark magic again ? And I’m not only talking about spells but also dark objects » I demanded.
- « No, I am never touching dark magic again, I swear » he stipulated.
- « I need you to tell me what you were up to for the past 2 years » I said.
Sebastian kept silent, probably trying to figure out where to start.
- « After I killed my … uncle … I thought it would be easier to leave rather than be expelled. I thought you and Anne would denounce me. And my sister clearly didn’t want me around just yet. So I thought I would give her some space, and come back in a few days. But when I returned, she was gone. All her stuff was gone. And when I wrote to you, you wouldn’t tell me her whereabouts. At the very least you told me that she was safe. But it wasn’t enough for me. I was so lost, enraged, with everyone, but deep down it was with myself. Uncle Solomon tried to keep us appart, my sister and I, from the moment she got sick. If he hadn’t, maybe I wouldn’t have felt so excluded. There was nothing wrong with me trying to save my sister. But it’s the way I did it that was wrong. I was so desperate. Anne means the world to me. She’s my twin, my soul’s other half. And in my mind, Uncle Solomon was the ennemy, trying to stop me, treating me as if I were a monster. When you get treated long enough like one, you become one. And I was blinded by hatred, I was the blind one, depite my eyes working just fine »
His voice was shaky and his words were brutal. Uncle Solomon was always pretty rough on Sebastian. Did I also make him feel like he was a monster ? That thought frightened me.
- « I waited for weeks for Anne's return, but she never came back. So I left. And that’s when I decided to stop writing to you. You have been raised by monsters, you didn’t need another one in your life. I felt ashamed. You were always there for me, and I had lied to you, used you and worst of all I let you down. I was a coward, I couldn’t face you. And I chose the easy path, to run away »
His words were like a dagger through my heart. And a tear was runing down my cheek.
- « I was still determined to help Anne, I thought that if I could find a cure, she would forgive me, then maybe I would hate myself slightly less. At first, I had run out of options. But then one day, your brother found me ».
- « Marvolo ? Why ? » I asked anxiously.
My brother was probably the worst in my family. He was a true monster. And he loved torturing people, even his own family, especially me. He always thought of me as the weak branch of this family. And he also told me once that Sebastian was a better slytherin than I was, because he was sneakier than I, he wouldn’t go by the rules and he didn’t let anything stop him. Oh and he wasn’t afraid of dark magic and I was just a little whimp.
I wondered what he sought out Sebastian for. Nothing good surely.
- « He said he knew a way to save Anne. Have you ever heard about Horcruxes ? » he asked as if he feared my reaction.
I was mortified.
- « Yes, I know what they are. But it’s pointless ! Anne would never agree to that ! » I replied resentfuly.
- « I know. She would have had to kill someone with a specific spell. But it would have protected her from death. Her cursed body would have died, but a part of her soul could have remained in a horcrux while we found her a new body, one that wasn’t cursed »
- « Are you out of your mind ?! » I yelled while standing up.
- « Hey, calm down, I turned down his offer. I told you I didn’t use dark magic despite being tempted this one time. And that was the one time » he reassured.
I felt relieved. And I guess it showed on my face.
I sat back down.
- « He wasn’t thrilled by my response though » he admitted.
I could easily believe that. Merlin I could kill my brother. Well, maybe not kill him, but I swear if I ever see him again, I will punch him in the face so hard he’s the one that will end up blind.
My arms were crossed, and I was frowning. Pissed at my brother.
- « I know how much you hate Marvolo, Ominis. And before I refused his offer, I thought what would Ominis do ? Because he always does the right thing. And I wanted to be a better man, like you. So that’s when I refused his offer. » he added.
- « You … You did the right thing Sebastian. I know it must have been hard for you» I attested.
- « At first, but I knew it was for the best. And after that, I hated myself a bit less. So I made a promisse to myself, never to succomb to dark magic again.» He remarked. « After that I travelled to various contries, to the biggest libraries in the world, still looking for a way to save Anne without using dark magic. But after all this research, I realised I was waisting my time, that time I should have been spending with my sister, by her side. But I knew she wouldn’t see me. She also thought of me as a monster. So I thought I should try to prove to her that I could change. That I could be the brother she needed me to be. So I asked for help. I went to see Mrs Weasley at Hogwarts last year. Of course I couldn’t come back to Hogwarts, so she found me a tutor, Mrs Radagor. And she helped me catch up and by the end of the year she helped me pass my NEWTs. Mrs Weasley always knew we both wanted to enter this school. And she made sure that we would be able to live out our dream together, like we always planned » he finished.
I just sat there, unable to speak, unable to move. Then I finaly spoke.
- « Sebastian, why didn’t you come to me for help ? » I asked genuinly.
- « Because … I thought you might hate me too, and even though you're blind, I couldn’t bear to see the look of disgust in your eyes, the same way Anne looked at me. » he said despairing.
- « That is not how I see you Sebastian. And I have never hated you, I have never thought of you as a monster, your my friend, my brother. I’m the one that feels ashamed. Ashamed that I let you think that of me, ashamed for not coming after you to find you. I was a bad friend Sebastian, and for that, I’m … I’m sorry » I said tears rushing back trough my eyes.
- « No Ominis, you are the best of friend. You are now the only person who still gives a damn about me, who is still there for me, despite everything I’ve done. And I can’t tell you how much it warms my heart to hear you say that I’m still your brother. So … thank you » he said.
And I saw his shadow rising from his bed, walking towards me. So I stood up. I could feel his arms embracing me. And I echoed his gesture. We hugged for a brief while. Then we both took a step back.
- « Well, what a day it turned out to be. A rollercoaster of emotions ! » he said as if he was lifted of a heavy burden he had carried for too long.
- « Quite right ! » I declared smiling and wipping my tears. « Sebastian, I am going to send Anne a letter tomorrow, and I have put in by best words and attempts to try and convince her to see you. If you wish, you could write her a letter too, and you can give it to me, I will add it to mine though I can’t garantee she’ll read it, but you never know » I proposed.
- « I will, thanks Ominis. »
- « By the way , were were you all afternoon ? »
- « Oh, I accidently appareited at Felcroft, in my old house. And I stayed there a while » he confessed.
I just nodded. He needed time alone.
- « You’ve missed diner. Have you had anything to eat ? » I asked.
- « No » he replied.
- « Well then, we can’t let you starve. What would you say to a little trip to the kitchens ? » I asked on a challenging tone.
- « I thought we were grown-ups now and we had to be more responsible ? » he awsered quoting my own words to parody me.
- « Well, we were also Slytherins, and sneeking around his what we did best. I hope you brushed up on your desillusion charm ! » I said challengingly walking out the bedroom.
- « You bet ! » I replied as I followed him out.