a flower before a quidditch match
“You’re fucking with me.” Barty said for what was at least the fourth time while Evan was still deciding what to wear.
The three were now at Evan’s house to get ready and go to Benjy’s mini party, if you could call it that, for having officially finished all the exams and Regulus had just confessed to the two of them that he was an animagus.
Regulus ran a hand through his hair tiredly, before letting his head fall on the pillows, “I told you, it’s true.”
“And I say you’re fucking with me.”
“Fine. Don’t believe me.” Regulus said closing his eyes enjoying those few seconds of silence, which however were broken by Barty who lay down next to him,
“You’re lying.”
“Barty.”
“You can’t transform into an animal. It’s impossible.”
“It’s also impossible that wizards exist but look how cute Regulus is with his eyes closed.” Evan said nonchalantly as he decided to go with a white shirt, discarding the blue one.
“Well, that’s true. But I still don’t believe it.”
“I’m not going to transform to prove to you that I can do it.” Regulus said for the umpteenth time as Barty huffed heavily,
“But whyyy.”
“I don’t feel comfortable.”
“Didn’t you have to work hard to become that? Did you work to become even more uncomfortable than you already are?” Evan asked innocently and Regulus gave him the middle finger as he quickly replied to Benjy’s text asking if they were ready and if they hadn’t abandoned him.
“That James?” Barty asked hopefully,
“For the sixth time this day, no. We are going to meet there, and that’s all.” Regulus said as he closed his eyelids,
“You should really talk to each other.”
“Wow, good advice.”
“I’m being serious, Regulus.”
“I know that.”
“But you aren’t still talking to each other.” Evan said turning around to show the two of them his outfit and hitting Regulus on the ankle so he could see it.
“You’re always on point, Rosier.”
“Uuuh, last name.”
“I’m just saying.” Evan said ignoring Barty’s comment and fixing his hair, “You can’t keep sleeping here.”
“I literally sleep on the couch. And I contribute to expenses. I literally paid for all of yesterday’s groceries!”
“Because Barty and I were at the doctor’s and we asked you to buy us some dinner!”
“Whatever.”
“You can’t run away from him forever, you know? And not just because the world thinks you’re together and you need to get back to your world together, but because it’s hurting you.”
“Since when did you become so wise, Ev?” Barty asked curiously, with honest curiosity really, which made him smile.
“I’m just saying that it’s been almost a week since you’ve been here.”
“Five days.” Regulus said without opening his eyes,
“I said almost!”
“Still five days. And what am I supposed to do?” Regulus asked this time opening his eyes and sitting up to look at his face, while Barty did the same,
“Tell him that you like him. That you care about him. That you want to see him everyday and be with him.”
“It’s not that easy, I don’t know.”
“It is though and I’m sincerely tired of telling you that and having you still don’t believing me.”
“I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how to do it. What am I supposed to do? Tell him that I still think about the smile he gives me every morning? How do you say that to someone? To James?” Regulus said lowly as Barty glared at Evan,
“You know, the first time Evan told he actually loved me, I punched him.” Barty said with a shrug and this made Regulus smile widely,
“My Barty did the same exact thing. And then he came to me and told me everything, leaving Evan alone in a classroom where they had been before, before I hit him and he came back to him.”
“So it's a canon even, great.” Evan said flatly as Barty laughed,
“I ignored him for like a week.”
“9 days.”
"Yeah yeah.” Said he dismissing him,
“I hate the fact that I can hear my Barty saying the same thing. With probably a little bit of insults to James, but yeah.”
“It's so strange, I know. But people do things like that. People tell their people what they think or what they feel and wait for something. Because it's how life works.”
“How conversation works.” Regulus corrected him and Barty rolled his eyes,
“You know what I mean.”
“I know.”
“Then, why not?”
Regulus was silent for at least a good minute before saying softly, “Because what if he pushes me away? I think that it's worse than the situation now. Or what if I'm just a distraction? I mean, we're here and just to pass the time…because he is bored.”
“Do you really believe that James would do something like that? Using people just because he is bored?”
“No, but—”
“That's your answer, Regulus. You know what person he is. I think that you know him better now than before, right?”
“Right.”
“Then do it.”
The boy stared at his hands before saying softly, “I just don't understand why he likes me. We have nothing in common, maybe only quidditch but that's all. And I was cruel with him, so I really don't understand. He is just going to get bored with me like everybody does and I don't know.” He waited a second, “I don't want him to get bored of me even if I'm boring. And cruel. I really don’t want to be a burden.”
“Maybe he saw you. The you from right now.” Evan said in a more softened tone as Barty added,
“The Regulus that we are looking at right now. And if you don't understand, ask him. Ask him why he likes you.”
But before he could answer, Evan beat him to it, “Now there's just one thing left.” He waited for a little suspense, “We need a plan.”
“A plan.”
“Yes! We need a plan and decide what to say to him. Or better, what you're going to say to him.”
“And if he breaks your heart—which is impossible—I'm going to break him. Only because I can't hear him without these that doesn't mean that I can't take his breath away. And I swear I'll do it.” Said Barty seriously, “I think every Barty from every universe would do the same.”
“Really.”
“Yes, really.”
“Now we just need a plan!” Evan said again smiling before making a thousand assumptions about what would happen (strangely all positive),
“I think we should also add the part where you transform into a cat. I’m sure James will be conquered by you.”
“Conquered by him, yeah.” Smiled Evan,
And Regulus?
He listened to what the two said think what the hell was going on.
And who would have ever thought of finding himself in this exact situation? Especially Regulus?
And he certainly wasn't talking about the alternate world.
As James parked his car in the parking lot he was saddened that he hadn't seen a glimpse Evan's car.
With the second glance he realized they weren't there at all.
And with the third he realized that Regulus wasn't there either.
When he said that maybe it was better for both of them to take some time, he definitely didn't mean to throw the boy out of the house, without seeing him day and night.
They were it had already been 5 days since he had seen him and he missed him.
He missed him more than he thought he would or had ever missed him. In the morning at Hogwarts he would see him during breakfast, then during lunch and then dinner, and then he would see him wandering around the corridors or playing quidditch.
He had also noticed how Regulus loved to fly at night, when the castle was at rest.
From what Remus had told him, he had gotten special permission to have the pitch all night and train from Slughorn.
James had tried asking McGonagall about it too but it hadn't gone so well.
James hadn't seen Regulus for five days.
And it had been five days since he had slept more than half an hour.
Now he couldn't sleep without him.
That was funny.
He ran his hand through his hair one last time before getting out of the car and staying a few more minutes to wait.
When almost 10 minutes passed, he let out a light sigh and headed towards the building to go and meet Sirius who had already texted him asking where he was.
In fact, as soon as he entered, the first person who greeted him was him.
And surprisingly… Remus?
“Remus.” He said in a surprised tone as the man nodded at him, taking a sip of his drink.
“James, a pleasure to see you.”
He pouted slightly. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.” He then turned to Sirius, “Neither did you.”
“It was something last minute, trust me.”
Sirius smiled, “Yeah, I had to beg him for at least 10 minutes to get him to come here. And the winning card was knowing Regulus was coming too.” He then shrugged as Remus shrugged, “By the way, where is he? Benjy is going crazy, I think Regulus can help him with that.”
James shrugged, “And why is that?”
“Because Regulus understands this stuff about studying? Or was it anxiety? I don’t remember what he said exactly, I was busy putting up those decorations back there by myself. See how perfect they are?”
“He is still coming, right?”
“Don’t be so happy that you’re with me, Remus.” Sirius said as he smiled at him,
“You know I prefer him. That’s why I went on a date with him and his fiancé.”
The boy’s face suddenly lit up, “So you really like me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself, you’re still a dickhead.” Remus said but he didn’t sound 100% honest and of course Sirius noticed and smiled widely.
“I don’t know, he should be here. He was supposed to get some stuff with Barty and Evan.” James said vaguely as he couldn’t bring himself to be happy with the progress the two boys in front of him had made. After all, Regulus wasn’t there and he definitely wasn’t with him, so he had no one to share this with. Or smile at.
Remus suddenly looked up before saying, “Thank God, he is here.” Making both him and Sirius turn to actually see Barty and Evan enter, only to be followed by one last person, which of course was Regulus.
Oh, James had forgotten how handsome he was. I mean, he knew he was handsome, how could he not know, but seeing him after almost 5 days was a different kind of feeling.
His hair was perfect as always, with the black trying in vain to cover the white streaks in the front. He was wearing a simple black turtleneck and a pair of black jeans with a jacket draped over his arm but somehow he was perfect.
How could someone be so perfect?
He was wearing a shirt and a pair of trousers explicitly chosen by Pandora, and he would have looked out of place next to him anyway.
More than out of place, probably no one would have noticed.
Who would have noticed James Potter next to Regulus Black when the latter was perfect without even trying?
Sirius’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts as his heart was picking up its usual pace, “I didn’t know Barty and Evan were coming too.”
“Better. More people that I know.” Remus said as he raised a hand to greet the two, who quickly waved back, now heading towards them.
But before James could move, go say hello to Regulus, ask him how he was, what he was doing, if he had slept, if he missed him like he did, Benjy came into his view, and the first thing he did was hug him.
Hug him in his place.
He was the one who should be hugging him.
Why wasn’t it him?
“Hi there, Remus.” He heard Evan’s voice say as soon as the two had reached them, but he still didn’t turn around. He couldn’t. How could he take his eyes off Regulus who was smiling at that exact moment? Who was giving Benjy a small smile? And whose gaze he hadn't met yet?
But it was Sirius' hand that forced him to look away. “You okay, mate?”
“Yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?”
“Because you are all tense.” He explained confusedly as he heard Evan laughing at something Remus said.
“I'm okay. I just…yeah.”
“Wow, beautiful explanation. It's all clear now.” Sirius said as he was hit on the shoulder,
“Oh, shut up.”
“I will, I will, I promise.” He said before putting an arm around his shoulders and joining the others who had headed towards the counter, James' eyes still fixed on Regulus who still hadn't looked at him, too busy talking to Benjy.
It was going to be a long night.
Evan leaned against the wall next to Regulus, who was doing (nothing) something on his phone, keeping his gaze only on that. “You know that you haven't talked to him for all this time, right?”
He didn't look up, muttering, “I know.”
A long pause, for which he was grateful, but then the one next to him said, “What are you doing?”
“Trying to ignore you.”
“It's not working so great.”
“I can see that.”
“You know that he is always looking at you, right?”
He didn't because he was trying not to look at him yet, “He does?”
Evan hummed under his breath, “He really does.”
“I'm thinking, alright? I'm thinking about what to do so stop pressuring me.”
“I wasn't doing that.” Evan said and Regulus raised an eyebrow, “Really, I wasn't doing that this time!”
“Sure.”
“I'm going to get a drink. You have company already.”
“What? I—” he said confused but looking up he noticed Benjy approaching him, then positioning himself next to him, shoulder to shoulder.
“Hey, Lus.”
He smiled, “Jy.”
“Everything alright?”
“How are you feeling?” He asked instead, closing phone and putting it in his pocket, then turning to him and meeting the gaze of the boy who was already staring at him.
“I'm good. It's a good mini party.”
“It's really cute.”
Benjy smiled, “You don’t you like it at all?”
“Yeah, I do like it.” He said defensively before later adding, “With all these people that I don't know the names of.” The boy smiled broadly, leaning forward slightly.
“It's okay. They will love you.”
“Too bad I'm engaged then.” Joking about the situation maybe wasn't the exact answer, but what else could he do now?
“I know that you two are not really together.”
“Yeah, that was not planned.” He said confusedly as Benjy moved in front of him and no longer beside him. And right behind him, (and how lucky one would say), there was James who was talking to Sirius but who was staring at them. At him.
Oh, seeing him after days definitely had a different effect. Especially now that he wasn't taking his eyes off of him.
“Regulus.” Benjy said making him to suddenly shifting his attention to him.
He smiled slightly, “Regulus? You never called me Regulus before. What did I do?”
“I need to talk to you right now and if I don't do it now, I never will again. ”
He looked at him for a few seconds studying his face, his gaze however deviating slightly from James's fixed one, “You okay?”
“I like you.” He said suddenly causing him even more confusion,
“I like you too? That's why we are friends?”
Benjy shook his head, “No. I like you. I like like you, you know? More than just a friend.”
Oh.
“What?” He breathed,
“It's pretty obvious, honestly. The way I'm always talking to you, or texting you, the way I came and took you to home the other day and all of that.”
“I—”
“And I can feel that you like me too. Maybe a little more than just a friend.” He continued while Regulus didn't know what to say.
Him and Benjy? Benjy and him? It was strange. It wasn't strange before but now in another world, and then James… “Jy, I like you but—”
“I don't think I don't have a chance. That we don't have a chance. We would work well.”
He thought about what to say for a few seconds, but he didn't know what to say. What should he have said? “I don't know what to say right now.”
“Then don't say anything. Just…” he began, moving even closer, “I'll do anything for kiss you right now.”
Regulus closed his eyes slightly, “Really?”
“Yes, but I'll not force you to do anything. Not now, not ever. But…I think this is my only chance to say this even if maybe I’m too late.” He could feel his breath on his lips because of the closeness, “What do you want, Lus?”
He smelled like mint.
What do you want, Lus?
Lus? Lus? Lus?
He smelled like mandarin.
What do you want, Reg?
Reg, Reg, Reg, Reg , Reg…
Regulus opened his eyes again, but the first thing he saw was not Benjy, but James behind him, still watching them, with a slightly confused expression.
James who had been looking for him all evening and who had tried not to see.
James Potter who was looking at him only and only Regulus Black.
Reg?
“I can't do it.” Regulus whispered against Benjy's lips without moving his gaze from James, while the latter closed his eyes for a few second, before opening them again, “I'm sorry. I'm really sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, or anything but I can't do it. It wasn't my intention, I swear.”
“I'm too late, am I right?” He said, pulling away to look at his face, even though he wasn't looking at him, “I knew it.”
“I'm sorry. I'm ruining your mini party and—”
“Can I ask you why?” Benjy said instead in a low voice and that made him move his gaze back to him,
He closed his mouth remaining silent. “You know why.” He then said slowly,
“I have to be sure.”
Regulus closed his eyes again slightly saying in another whisper, “Because you are not James Potter.” Before opening them again.
Benjy opened his eyes as well, “Thank you.”
“For what?” He asked sadly. He hadn’t counted on that.
“For being honest with me.” He said leaning forward and placing his lips on the boy's cheek in a delicate, extremely delicate kiss. “Having said that, we are still friends and nothing has to be weird between us.”
“How can it not be?”
“Because it's weird only if we make it weird. And I'm not going to do something like that.”
“Benjy.”
“Promise me?”
“I'm sorry.”
The boy tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, making one step back, “Don't be. Now you're making it weird.”
“I'm sorry.” Regulus said again because he didn't know what else to say.
What else could he say?
“Regulus, please stop it.” He said again, “I admit it might not have been the best time.”
He nodded quickly, “No, definitely not.” Then he shook his head just as quickly, “I mean maybe it could have been a little more private, that’s all. Not what you told me. That was very romantic.”
“That wasn’t romantic, Lus. I knew that I was too late. That’s why I did it, honestly.”
Fuck.
Regulus looked at him mortified, “I'm making this more weird, I'm sorry.”
“You should be just because you're saying sorry to me again.”
“I'm—okay, I will just shut up.” Regulus said as he closed mouth as he burst into genuine laughter.
“And I think I should go now and leave you with him. Because I feel I need a little bit of time like 10 minutes.”
“You know that this is all me right? It’s not about you, it’s about me—”
“Lus.”
“Yeah, okay. Silence, get it.”
“Good luck and see you later hopefully.” He said nodding as he nodded in return, before walking away.
And not even five seconds passed, literally counted, that Barty appeared at his side. “What was that?”
He shrugged, “None of your business.”
He fixed his hair, “Yeah, probably not mine but surely James's who just left.”
Left.
“He what?”
“He has left now, Reggie.” He said, motioning for him to look around to actually see that the boy was gone and that Sirius was now talking to Remus. “Maybe you’re on time if you go now.” He then added,
“Time? I—”
“Go, you will think of something in the way!”
“The way to what? Where?”
“I don’t know, your house?” He said confused as the man looked at him exasperated.
Exasperated until the word house clicked in his head.
“Give me the keys.”
Barty narrowed his gaze, “The keys to what?”
“The keys to your new house, c’mon.”
“But—”
“Barty!”
“Fine!” He said quickly, passing them from his pocket, before the man grabbed them and hurried out. “Don’t lose them please!” He yelled at him, shaking his head, but Regulus was already out. “Jesus.”
Evan walked over to him, “What happened?”
“Regulus being Regulus.”
It was cold outside. That was the first thing that came to mind when he opened the door and was then hit by the cold.
Yes, it was definitely cold.
And his jacket was still inside.
But it didn’t matter now. The important thing was to find James.
Where could he have parked? Maybe in the front? But he didn’t usually park in the front.
Not even in the back because it was too far away.
In the center?
Where the hell was that car? And where the hell was James?
As he looked around, continuing to walk, he suddenly heard the sound of a door closing.
A car door.
Of a car that he saw in front of him, a few steps away.
And it was the right car. Oddly enough.
So he ran until he reached the driver's door to see James putting the key in.
So sometimes luck was on his side huh?
He raised a hand and knocked on the window twice quickly and the boy's gaze immediately shifted to him and then took on a shade of confusion, and then he started to roll down the window but Regulus shook his head signaling him to get out of the car.
James studied his face for a few seconds before taking the key he had in the door and opening the door and getting out of the car, never taking his gaze from him. And after a few seconds of silence he said, “Hi.”
“Sit in the passenger seat.” Was the answer he got from him, also because he had not yet prepared a speech or anything like that.
“What?”
“Please.”
“Why?”
“I promise I’ll explain everything.” He said quickly, “Just trust me on this one.”
“You’re going to drive?”
“Yes.”
“But you don’t know how to.”
“I know how.”
“Last time you freaked out, Regulus.” He said tiredly,
“I just need silence and hot air, I’m freezing right now.”
“What for?”
“James.”
“I’m just asking a question.”
“I need to talk to you and I can’t do it here. I don’t know why but I can’t, please.”
A long pause, before James shrugged, “If you're asking me for the official permission to break up with me and being with Fenwick it's a no.” And before Regulus could say anything else he added, “We are together and you're my fiancé. Not his. Mine.”
“I was not going to ask you that.” He said softly,
“Then what?”
“You’ll understand, I promise you but please let me do this.” Regulus said trying to emphasize as much as possible and finally the guy nodded, walking to the passenger door and getting in, while he did the same.
After what was at least two full minutes, James asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, why shouldn’t I be?” He said without taking his hands off the wheel.
He raised an eyebrow, “Because we’ve been stuck for at least five minutes and you haven’t even started the engine.”
He tightened his hands around the wheel, “I need a few minutes to concentrate.”
Pausing, “Do you want me to drive?” He asked wearily,
“No. You don’t know where.”
“You could tell me?”
“I don’t know neither.”
He cleared his throat confusedly, “What?”
He cleared his throat in return, “I mean, I think I know.”
“Where are you taking us, Regulus?”
“I know where. I just need two minutes.”
James reached out to turn on the heater and then rested his head on the seat sighing and closing his eyes, “Take all the time you need.” And with that he was silent.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t the ideal plan and if Regulus remembered correctly (he remembered correctly) it was at least a 40 minute drive to the house. And he had to drive which wasn’t so giod but yeah.
At least he would have time to think carefully about what to say, right?
Say what exactly, he didn’t know either.
But he could work on it. After all, it was like homework, right? And Regulus Black was known to be the best at homework.
Yes, that would be fine.
Everything was fine. And he was going to drive. He did before.
Everything was fine.
It was going fine already when he managed to turn the car around with a few more minutes, (Barty's lessons had been useful for something) under the gaze of the boy next to him, who after observing his every moment, had closed his eyes without getting caught.
And so it was that a whole hour of travel passed and after a short break in which they filled up with gas because apparently James had not done it before coming and after skipping a fast food nearby with the disappointment (obviously unspoken) of both, the car finally arrived in front of the now familiar gate.
Familiar in a way, in short. He had only seen it once. But it was always very impressive.
“Is that a house?” The boy asked curiously before Regulus got out of the car honestly proud of himself to have gotten that far, and quickly opened the gate, then got back in the car.
“It's Barty and Evan's house.” He said as a shiver went through him due to the slight change in temperature.
He had never noticed how well the car heater worked.
When the car stopped, he dropped his hands from the steering wheel into his lap and thanked Merlin for listening to Barty and watching James drive and not crashing somewhere. And for taking the right road. He had a better memory than he thought.
“I have a hoodie in the back, if you want.” James said suddenly and he turned to look at him in surprise,
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He said slowly, “But I don’t know if you’re going to like it. It’s a gift from Marlene.”
“How bad can it be? Besides, I’ve been freezing since before.”
“Well, for starters it’s light blue.”
“I like light blue.” He said confusedly,
“And in the center it has pikachu, I don’t know if you know who pikachu is, swimming on his back with sunglasses on. And so the hoodie is full of little sea waves.”
“I think that’s cute.” Regulus said as James leaned behind him and passed it to him.
Pikachu in the center had a smile on his face as he floated like nothing was happening enjoying life, while the light blue of the hoodie was very bright.
And that made him smile, as he put it on and adjusted the hood, causing him to feel a growing sensation of warmth. It was fleecy inside. And of course the sleeves were longer than his arms and if he was being honest he liked that.
“It suits you.”
“I’m sure.” He said with a smile before shaking his head. He had to concentrate. “Thanks.”
“No problem, Pikachu.” James said following him out of the car, unable to stop himself from calling him a nickname.
“Shut up.” Was the response he received as he headed towards the inside of the house and then outside, to finally reach the pool.
“Is that a pool without the water?”
“Yes.” He nodded before quickly descending into it, the other one looking down at him.
Strangely, Barty and Evan had cleaned and there were no traces of bottles, food or anything else. Only the mattress.
Regulus looked up at him. “Are you not coming?”
“Are you trying to kill me? I don’t understand. You don’t talk to me and then you bring me here and—”
“James! Please come down and I’ll explain it to you.”
James looked at him for a few seconds, “You know you can’t kill me with pikachu on your hoodie, right?”
“Potter, I swear—”
“Fine, I’m coming.” He said with a sigh, first running a hand through his hair and then going down the stairs, until he reached him at the bottom. “I’m here. Now what?”
“Come here.”
“Regulus—”
“Please.”
“Fine.” He said, walking over to him and standing in front of him, before putting his hands in his pockets, not knowing what to do with them. “I’m here.”
“Could you take off your glasses?” Regulus suddenly asked nervously as he looked at him even more confused,
“What?”
“If I know that you can’t see, I feel better.”
“Regulus.”
“Please.” He said again and how could James say no? So with a sigh he took off his glasses, holding them in his hand, and his vision blurred almost immediately, causing the boy to feel almost annoyed since he wanted to see his face, even if he had no idea what was happening.
“Done. Now, what?”
He took a shallow breath, “Now I speak like I should have done before today.”
“Okay.”
“I want to start this by saying that I’m not drunk. Not at all. The only thing I drank today was a glass of water, that’s all.” He said quickly, before continuing, “I also want to say that Benjy told me that he liked me more than just a friend. Today. That’s why we were so close.”
“What do you want me to do, Regulus? You want my permission to date him and fake break up with me?” James asked tiredly again as he started to put his glasses back on, it had been stupid to take them off in the first place, but the boy stopped him and grabbed his arm, preventing him from doing so.
“I told you it’s not about that.”
“Then what he has to do with anything? With you?”
“When Benjy told me that he liked me, I could have told him that I felt the same way. That I liked him more than just a friend, but I didn’t.”
“Good job, I guess?”
But he ignored him, continuing with his speech, “I didn’t because I couldn’t think of something like that. Benjy and I together. Especially in this world and especially right now, with things going in a—very unexpected way and with the fact that the only thing I could see at that moment was your face looking at us, looking at me, confused.” A slight pause, “I thought that I knew everything but everything that happened to us made me realize that I was wrong and that maybe I didn’t calculate everything like I almost always do because it was a little hard to calculate all of this.” James didn’t interrupt him further and he continued, “Basically I couldn’t say yes to Benjy because my feelings or heart or call it whatever you like really, belong somewhere else, somewhere I hadn’t calculated they might end up, you know?”
“If you like someone just—”
Regulus squeezed the arm of the boy holding the glasses with a light squeeze to shut him up and let him continue, “They belong to a guy in particular and you know him pretty well.” He cleared his throat nervously, “That guy…he gave me a flower before a Quidditch game.” He said with a light laugh, “A flower that I use as a bookmark since we are here and a flower that I always have in my pocket. Even right now.” And the boy’s heart skipped a beat. A flower?
His paper flower?
Regulus took his hand off James’s arm so he could put his glasses back on, which he did quicker than expected, before putting it in his pocket and carefully pulling out the white flower that still had his magic in its paper petals to show him.
He had had it all this time.
Untouched and cared for.
As a bookmark.
In his pocket.
His paper flower.
“Listen, I’m a person who cares a lot about small things, alright? Your flower, Pandora’s daystone and I still have the little parchment boat that Barty made me in our second year in History of Magic and that I always carry with me as your flower.”
His paper flower?
“The thing is, I care about you and what you do. And what you think.” He said, putting the flower back in his pocket with the same care he had taken it out to show him, “Things I definitely didn’t think about before.” He shifted his weight on one leg nervously, “I’ve always thought that I hated you and that I could just keep pretending that I hated you forever because I think that at some point I stopped really hating you but apparently fate has other plans, I think.”
“Regulus—”
“Let me finish please. It’s hard enough knowing that you’re wearing your glasses and that you can see me clearly.” He said and this elicited a laugh from the boy, “The thing is—I can’t stop thinking about you. Like, these days that we haven’t seen each other, you’ve been my only thought. I found myself looking at your chat waiting for a message or something from you and when I saw that you were writing, that you wanted to write something but then you didn’t send it, it made me think that maybe I had already lost you. That maybe I lost you already without actually having the chance to have you in some way. And that’s simply because I’m afraid that you might get bored of me. Because pretty much, everyone does and I always end up feeling like a burden but that’s not the point.”
“Reg.”
He bit his lip. This was really happening and he was telling the whole story. That would have been funny later, “The thing is that I always think about you and how you would react or what you would think about anything but I don’t want to talk about you. Which is like, I’m a wizard but I don’t believe in magic? If you get what I’m saying. I don’t even know myself what I’m saying right now but I’ll probably think about it later.”
James thought about it for a few seconds, “It’s like I always talk about you but I don’t think about you if someone points it out.”
“Yes, exactly. Okay, that was a better phrase than mine.”
“Can I talk now?”
“No. I’m not finished.” He said quickly as James nodded, “I don’t regret kissing you that night in the pool. And that’s because I like you, James Potter. And that’s probably crazy considering how I treated you but you know normal people, or normal wizards, are boring right?”
“Can I—”
“I also wanted to say that if you don’t feel the same I understand, but I think, or maybe Evan thinks I don’t remember, that the situation will be better if you know the truth, which you know now, than the situation before.”
“Tell me when I can talk too, please.”
“And I also wanted to say that I miss you. And everything you do for me which maybe for someone it might seem like little or small things but as I said before I love those things. And yeah, I will shut up now, so you can speak.”
James smiled widely as he slowly approached him and that was a positive sign right? “Can I touch you?”
“Yeah.” He breathed without looking away,
“I’ll start saying that I like you too, Reg. I really really like and I’ve been for quite some time.” He said taking his hands in his,
“You do?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious to anyone here.”
“I thought—”
“Oi, it’s my turn to speak.” He said and he closed his mouth nodding, “I like the way you think, the way you speak, the way you hum when you think you’re not being heard. I like the way sometimes you get lost in your thoughts and I watch your expression change to something softer and I like the fact that we are together in this, even though I feel like I’ve said it over and over again but you’re the best part of the day here but not only here.”
“I thought you were playing a part.”
“I have a spoiler for you. I’m not that good at pretending.”
Regulus thought back to Pandora’s words, “Yeah, someone told me that.”
“The point is that I like you back Regulus Black. I like you more to be honest but we can work on that if you really want.”
“I do.”
“And I'm happy to hear that. You have no idea of how much happiness I’m feeling right now. And before I kiss you, of course if you want to kiss me—”
“What do you think?” he asked with a nervous little laugh,
“It's a big deal for me, alright? Let me finish.” He said, unable to stop smiling, “I wanted to say that you are the most intelligent and interesting person I've ever known and that I'll never ever get bored of you. As I think I've said before, you'll never be a burden, Reg. And if I do say that I get bored of you that means that I'm not me and that someone stole me and replaced me with a clone.”
“You are so stupid.”
“But you like me.” He said, moving even closer until their lips were less than an inch apart,
“I do.”
“Then, this time you kiss me.” James said, taking the boy’s face in his hands,
“Oh, shut up.” Said Regulus blushing a little bit.
James’s smile grew more. “By the way, I want to kiss you so bad right now.” He said with a laugh, resting his forehead against the boy’s, who closed his eyes for a few seconds,
“Then do it.” He said before placing his lips on his himself.
But James suddenly pulled away, “Wait.”
“What?”
“Can we go and eat at that fast food place now please? I’m starving and I really want a hamburger.”
“I’m literally kissing you and you think about this?”
“Can we?”
And he laughed, catching his lips again, “Yes, James, we can go to eat at the fast food place.”
He moved closer again, “Amazing.”
And Regulus forgot about the fact that he should have gone to the fast food restaurant wearing his Pikachu enjoying life hoodie and the fact that the cashier asked him where he bought it while he blushed and James next to him, an arm around his shoulders and a kiss on his hair, laughed.