The Pirates

Climbing over rocky mountain,
Skipping rivulet and fountain,
Passing where the willows quiver.
Passing where the willows quiver
By the ever-rolling river,
Swollen with the summer rain, the summer rain
Threading long and leafy mazes
Dotted with unnumbered daisies,
Dotted, dotted with unnumbered daisies,

“Hermione! Hermione!” Lavender yelled at her sister who fell behind the group. 

“Oh let her be. Who needs her? She's a disgrace to the noble name of Stanley! Just look at her! I wouldn't wear a dress like that to bed!” Pansy snapped and rolled her eyes at the girl who stayed behind to read on the cliff. Hermione stayed in her nightgown, too tired and uncaring to change as they were the only family on the small island.

“I think that's the whole idea.” Ginny smirked.

“Wash your mouth out! What is she looking for?” Pansy asked as she watched Hermione stare out into the distance.

Luna sighed happily, “Love!”

Daphne snorted, “Well, she'll have a long wait! She's the youngest, and by noble custom the eldest must marry first! Which makes me first…”

Ginny sang, “Me second.”

Pansy high fived the eldest as sh.e said, “And me third.”

Luna sighed as she looked into the waves, “Gees, we'll all be fifty.”

Daphne started to sing as her sister’s joined in.
Let us gaily tread the measure,
Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Worship nature while we can,
Let us gaily tread the measure,
Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Far away from any man.

Hermione shook her head as she rolled her eyes at her sisters. Do you believe that song? She danced mockingly away down the side of the cliff to the other side of the beach. The sisters continued singing and dancing.

Climbing over rocky mountain,
Skipping rivulet and fountain,
Passing where the willows quiver,
Passing where the willows quiver
By the ever-rolling river,
Swollen with the summer rain, the summer rain
Let us gaily tread the measure,
Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Worship nature while we can,
Let us gaily tread the measure,
Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Far away from any man.
Let us gaily tread the measure,
Make the most of fleeting leisure,
Worship nature while we can,
Far away from any man.

“Oh come on girls, come in, it's lovely and warm.” Luna splash Lavender as her soaps and petals floated behind her. Draco swam up slowly, and grabbed the soaps as he came up for air. The two girls screamed as he said, ‘Hi, hi! Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to deflower you.’

   Lavender screeched, “Help it's a pirate! Run girls for your lives!” The girls on the beach ran into their small tent, followed shortly behind a terrified Luna and Lavender. 

“Pirate? No, no, not any more... Ladies, I'm not a pirate. I promise you. Look no tatoos, nothing... Girls!” Draco lied, as he had a rather large tattoo that was hidden by his shirt. 

The girls watched him terrified, but curious from their tent as he kicked at the sand in frustration. He walked down the beach, and paused as he saw a woman standing by the water alone. 

    Theo watched from the sidelines as the crew members lost it over the sighting of the women on the beach. He stared off down the beach where a lone, beautiful woman stood. He couldn’t help himself as he slowly started to sing, 

“When will I find love? 

Where will she be?

And if she’s out there 

Will she wait for me?”

Hermione splashed the water as she gazed towards the large ship coming into the harbor as Theo smiled to himself. 

“How will she know me?

Will I know her?

Is there no end to all of my questioning?”

Draco sang softly as he could finally make out the details of her face. 

“Can I believe what I am seeing, 

What I am feeling. 

Something so rare, watching her there.

She makes my heart stop.”

Theo leaned against the back of the ship as he forced himself to look away. 

“Can I believe what I'm feeling, my head is reeling,

She just looked my way, from the start I can say

I will give her everything.

Strange emotions wash over me

Like the motion of the deepest sea,

And I feel”

Draco and Theo sang together.

“First love (I need nobody but you),
You're all I'm dreamed of (I will be constant and true),
Love moves me inside like the moon moves the tide.
My first love.”

Draco continued, 

“Some kind of miracle brought your here
Just when I'd given up hoping.”

Theo continued, “From the moment when you first appeared,
I could feel my whole life opening in.”

They sang together as Theo watched Draco approach Hermione. He should have gone with him.

“First love (I need nobody but you),
You're all I'm dreamed of (I will be constant and true),
Love moves me inside like the moon moves the tide.
My first love. And I promise to be true to you
My first love.”

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” Hermione asked as Draco shook his head out of his daze. 

       “Yes, I just asked what a beautiful girl like you was doing out here on the beach alone?” He asked as she took a step back. 

“You’re one to ask, considering this is my family’s island.” She folded her arms across her chest as he held up his hands in surrender. 

      “That’s only fair. Though, I was hoping you’d be less scared of me than your sisters for being a pirate.” Draco sighed as her eyes bulged. 

“Pirates! You mean like walking the plank? Buried treasure? Hack, slash, off with his head, and the Jolly Richard, and everything?” She asked, to his surprise, excitedly.

      “Roger.” 

“Oh, Roger, It suits you.” She chuckled.

     He rolled his eyes, but took her hands in his, “No, Draco without a 'k'.”

“Hermione, also without a 'k'.”

“Hermione?” 

      “Pretty bad, huh? It’s from a play-”

 Draco interrupted with a shake of his head, “No, I love it.”

        “Do you live around here on a boat, then?” she asked. 

He sighed as he kicked the sand. He would get smack upside the head for saying what he wanted to, but at least Theo was not there to do so, therefore he said,” You know,  I've never lived til now....So the good pirates arrived too late to save my parents- rest their souls- but my mother hurled me through the flames into the King's arms then he raised me as his own apprentice.

        Hermione placed her hand dramatically on her chest, “You poor thing.”

“Hermione....listen, I know this is going to sound silly, but I think I love you. And I think I might even want to marry you.” He stepped forward, and tried to place a small kiss onto her lips. She shoved him back into the sand. 

      “Oh no, we've got this dumb custom. We've got to see my father, if you’re wanting to court me.” Hermione started to drag him towards their house, away from the water. 

Draco halted, “Listen, I haven't much practice at seeing fathers.” 

       “Well don't worry. He's just the same as any other ordinary Major-General.” She shrugged as she continued on.

“Major-general! oh no, no, no, no, no.” He started walking back into the water, prepared to drown himself until she grabbed ahold of his wrist and pinned him to a boulder. His hands slipped around her waist as she kissed down his neck. 

      Bells went off in the distance as Hermione chuckled, “I thought the bells came afterward.”

The ship anchored outside the cove as all of the Pirates jumped from the sides of the boat onto the bech after the women, who had started to run towards the house. 

       Draco separated himself as he glanced down the beach. His eyes bulged at the sight of his former crewmates chasing the women. “Pirates! With lust in their heart! Your sisters are in danger of their virute, their very lives.” He started to run down the beach towards them, but paused as he told Hermione not to leave that spot.

    “Come back here you sex-crazed bilgerats! This is mutiny!” Captain Black yelled as he watched his crew chase down the girls with a roll of his eyes. Theo joined him at his side as they both jumped down onto the beach. He searched the sands, annoyed that he was happy to see Hermione had been left alone. 

           Sirius pointed towards the ship that was stuck in the sand, “A little close to the curb.”

Theo left his side just as Draco approached Sirius. He reached for his weapon as he said, “This is one time when you're not going to rape, pillage and plunder.”

        Sirius laughed, and shoved Draco into the sand as he said, “Oh really?” With a laugh he yelled to his men, “Take it easy lads, don't hurt or maim them!”

Draco ran after the Captain, blatantly ignoring Theo who walked towards Hermione. 

    “You do know that a bunch of pirates are chasing after your fellow women?” Theo asked as he leaned against the very same boulder she had shoved Draco against. Her head snapped in his direction. 

“I’m not blind, but I’m also not incredibly stupid.” She rolled her eyes at him as he smirked. 

         “Never said you were, though it would be entertaining to see you try and fight for them. You see the type to do so.” He handed her one of his smaller swords, more out of curiosity than anything. 

        She eyed him, with an eyebrow raised but took the sword regardless. He watched as she ran after her siblings, and smirked as he realized she was in her nightgown. He followed after, as he never wanted to miss a good show. 

        Each crew mate seized a woman, much to Hermione’s dismay. Though, Hermione noticed, her sisters didn’t seem to put up a fight against the men. She shook her head, as she didn’t blame them. They were all – okay, most, were beautiful specimens. And to be fair, the only other men on the island were the cops who patrolled once in a great while. 

      “Ho-ho, Draco! Are your loins so hot that you'd have them all and none for us? Well now, who dare's distrub our dalliance?”

Hermione swung at the sword Sirius was using as a cane for support. He stumbled slightly as the sword fell. 

     “What? Hermione, no!” Draco yelled. Theo shook his head as he stood behind the young woman. 

“Well now, you've saved the best til last. It’s too bad, truly I prefer men, though I suppose next in line would be Theo.” 

      Draco cleared his throat as he glared towards Theo, “No! Keep out of this Hermione!”

Hermione swung at the pirate king once again as she yelled, “You set Draco and my sisters free or Die!”

         Blaise handed his captain a sword as all the girls cried out for their sister. “Ole!” She yelled as she swung, but missed. As he passed her he poked her back.

“Touche! Touche!” Draco yelled as he didn’t want to watch the duel. 

     “You see, the blade grows heavy. You cannot reach it to my heart.” Sirius smirked as she glared at him. 

“I’m not aiming at your heart.” The group oohed as Sirius placed his hand over his crotch and said, “Beep, Beep.” 

      She rolled her eyes as she yelled with a slash of the blade, “I’ll see you get a thousand lashes!”

Sirius yawned as he said, “Promises, promises.”

      “Well, if you love half as good as you fight…” Theo muttered, as Draco shoved him. 

“No,” He cleared his throat as he stepped beside Hermione.”Tell him, Hermione.”

     “My father is…” 

The group said in unison, “Yes?”

“A major general.”

      The men faked scared looks at the women as they all said, “A major general?” with a roll of their eyes. 

“That’ll do it.” Theo sighed.

      “Yes, yes, I am a major general!” The group separated as a small man, half the pirates’ height with brown hair and glasses approached on a horse. 

“Papa!” Hermione yelled. 

Filius held his hand up, “Not now, darling. I’m on.” 

I am the very model of a modern Major-general,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral.
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo and inorder categorical.
I'm very well acquainted with matters mathematical,
I understand equations both the simple and quadratical.
About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot of news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
(With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.)

“Papa!” Yelled Hermione as they all continued dancing.

“This is my big number. Now play along with this, our lives may depend upon it.”

I am very good at intrical and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculus.
In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major general.
(In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major general.)

I comprehend contemporary culture North American.
I straighten more piratical erections than Bo Derek and,
I'm in to EST and all the rest, I've undergone analysis,
I've jumped beyond the gravitude to permanent paralysis.
My muse is into music, but my credit I'll not trouble you,
From R&B; to S&M;, cross over C&W;,
To groovin' with the Doobies in my Malibu white-souling tones.
Man, I'm older than the Beatles, but I'm younger than the Rolling Stones.
(He's older than the Beatles, but younger than the Rolling Stones.)
My military knowledge for I'm plucky and adventury.
Embraces M*A*S*H and Star Wars and the 22nd century.
Yes sir in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major general.
(In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern major general.)

“Well, now that I've introduced myself I should like to have some idea what's going on in my garden?”

      “Well, Draco and I-”

Sirius held up his hand, “Permit me. I’ll explain it in two words. It’s a beach party and Frankie Avalon.”

      Theo rolled his eyes, “And I’m Annette Funicello.”

Pansy shook the grip of Harry as she said, “Don’t listen to them, Papa. Theyre pirates. The famous Pirates of Penzence!”

           The crew boys at their introduction. Filius stands directly in front the the captain, “WHAT?” He yelled. “The famous pirates of Penzence, that stole my family’s fortune on the high seas a score of years ago?”

      Theo chuckled, “Our last score was years ago!”

“All except this gentleman,” Hermione dragged Draco to her side, much to Theo’s annoyance. She gave him a side-longed glance as her father scoffed. “He was a pirate, but who now means to go forward as my boyfriend, and possibly husband.” 

      “Hey, you fox!” Blaise yelled, which earned a smack in the arm from Theo. 

“I’ll be the best man, naturally.” Captain Black snickered. 

      "Tell me, have you ever known what it is to be….an orphan?” Filius asked, down on his knees. 

“AH, shit.” The crew yelled. 

      “An orphan, sir? and a fine thing too. Of course you may go. You are all free. Come lads, we have a ship to float. Free her keel and raise that chain doodah.” Sirius rolled his eyes as he sauntered back towards the beach. The men said their goodbyes as the women huffed in annoyance. Pansy sighed the loudest, as she had hoped to finally lose her virginity at twenty three. 

Luna looked off into the distance, “She’s thirty-three.” 

  “Anchor?” asked Theo.

Sirius placed his arm over Theo’s shoulder sadly as he said,  “No, just disappointment. Another twenty years at sea shall ease this melancholy pity.”

He sang quietly as the crew boarded the ship.
“For I am the Pirate King
And I'll buy this orphan thing.
We'll go away, without dismay
but we'll be returning…”