Chapter 31
It was now the second last day before Halloween midterms.There was a party in Gryffindor tonight cutesy of the marauders.
Lily had seen less of James as he and his gang of marauders were undoubtedly planning some prank for Halloween. That's not to say they still didn't hang out in the mornings though and James was always there to walk Lily to classes when his schedule allowed (even sometimes when it didn't.) But their afternoon dates had subsided for the time being. It was true that James had matured a lot this year but that didn't mean he could pass up the opportunity to plan a classic marauders Halloween prank and party.
Truth be told Lily didn't mind the space too much. It wasn't that James wasn't a good boyfriend or that she didn't love being around him. But sometimes she still felt a little nervous. She knew he liked her now. But she didn't know why. It was like she could hear people wonder the same thing when they saw them together. James could have any girl. Why Lily? She wasn't pretty. Or popular. Or thin.
That was the other thing about James being busy.
It gave Lily more time to sort out other things. The runs had become a daily ritual now. Every day for at least 2 hours (sometimes more if she ate "too much") Lily would run laps around the grounds. She found that supper was a good time. That way no one she knew was out and she could be left to her vices in peace. This time also had the added bonus of letting her get away from eating. She could come back to the dorm and tell Mary and Marlene she grabbed food while she was "studying".
It was a neat little routine and helped to get her friends off her back. It was annoying sometimes how much they cared. Marlene had even taken to bringing desserts and biscuits up to the dorm to Lily at night when she was actually studying.
"C'mon Lil you need your energy for all that studying. I swear you've probably read your way into the first year of college by now."
It was sweet, really, but Lily couldn't help but hate her for the temptation. Mary tried a different tactic.
"Are you sure you're not working yourself too hard babes, I mean you're already top of the class in nearly everything. Maybe you can skip the library and come with us to dinner today." Lily had always been an honest person and yet these days she found herself lying more and more.
"Thanks, Marls I'll try some in a bit."
"I'm sorry Mary I just really need to have this essay done for Bilchen. I'll have to take a raincheck on coming to supper today."
These words fell out of her mouth like second nature and honestly it was a little scary.
The worst part of it all though, was despite everything she was doing to herself the missed meals, rigorous exercise routines the dwindling number on the scale.
It still made no difference to Lily when she looked in the mirror. She could still see her imperfections when she'd inspect herself, and feel the uncomfortable softness of her body when she bent over. Even if she did dare forget she'd be reminded of the fat on her stomach when James's hand would make its way to her waist. It made her burn with embarrassment when they were kissing and all she could wonder was if he was disgusted by it too.
Just too nice to mention it.
Just then as if she'd summoned him James appeared snapping Lily back to reality.
"Hello Beautiful."
James grinned cheekily as if he expected Lily to reprimand him like she used to when he said stuff like that.
"Oh Hello."
Lily looked up from her book a grateful smile on her face. She had been staring at the same page for the past 15 minutes daydreaming and getting lost in her thoughts. The interruption was welcome.
James leaned forward bending down to catch a glimpse of the page before looking at Lily.
"I hope I'm not interrupting you Mrs Evans." He said jokingly.
Lily sighed "Oh well I supposed I'm used to you doing that by now." She caught his eye with a teasing look.
He was still bent over smiling.
Lily reached out to ruffle his messy curls , they felt so soft.
"And don't call me Mrs Evans. It's so stuffy." She laughed.
James moved to plop himself on the couch beside her.
Humming thoughtfully before looking back at her.
"I suppose you'd prefer Mrs Potter."
Lily rolled her eyes and planted a kiss on his cheek making his dark skin immediately flush red.
"You're silly." She laughed at him.
James shrugged still blushing but doing his best to be smooth.
"Maybe I'm just hopeful. How was your day?"
Lily was so used to lying now. "My day was good." She said convincingly.
"I didn't see you at lunch earlier is everything alright." The light airy tone had deserted his voice and was replaced by concern.
He looked at Lily with so much care in his eyes that it was almost painful to look at. It was like a silent plea for Lily to confide in him, she had to ignore it.
Lily broke away her gaze, looking back to her textbook she dog-eared her page calmly.
"Just wasn't really hungry earlier I figured I'd get some work done instead."
James's jaw flexed slightly and he lifted his hand to run it through his hair.
"Oh right." He said slowly his brow furrowed in concern.
Quickly as if he didn't dare display any emotion other than his usual happiness, he smiled and turned to look at Lily.
"I could grab you a snack from the kitchens if you'd like or maybe we can run down together and get one"
He seemed excited by this idea. His face lit up.
"James I'm fine just leave it!"
Lily snapped and it came out so much harsher than she'd intended.
James's look of excitement deflated. Lily took a deep breath to reconcile.
"I'm sorry James, it's just I'm not hungry right now." She said in a softer voice, feeling guilty for snapping.
James gave her a weak smile his brows still furrowed in an expression of cautious concern but as always James Potter could easily revive a conversation.
"Have you girls got a costume for tonight?"
"Yeah, Marlene wanted to do a group costume so Mary's has been sewing and making them for the past week." Lily said with a gentle appreciation for James's tact in changing the topic of conversation.
Marlene had pitched the idea last week that they could go as a bat, a cat and a witch.
Marlene had called dibs on being a bat when she pitched the idea and obviously Mary had second choice as she was the one who'd have to make the costumes.
She was immediately excited by the idea of a cute cat costume. That left Lily with the slightly ironic costume of a witch if it could even be a costume considering they were all witches.
Marlene of course was not shy about giving Mary specific instructions on how she wanted her costume to look.
"Oh and can you make it leathery too! I want spiky bits as well that would be dead cool!!"
Marlene had excitedly rambled when Mary was working on designs.
"You'll wear what I make you Mckinnon and if you keep being so picky I'll make your whole costume fluffy and pink." Mary responded evilly.
Prompting Marlene to pull a face back.
"It's so good of you to make them Mary." Lily said appreciatively.
Mary sighed smiling. "Yeah well it's not like McKinnon can sew and you're too busy being a swot to get them done." She Teased.
Lily had stuck out her tongue and all three girls giggled.
The only thing Lily had asked was that Mary not make her costume too revealing. Whether or not she'd listen to the request wouldn't be clear until they tried them on tonight.
"That's so cool! What are you going as?" James asked curiously.
Lily smiled cheekily and tapped her nose.
James shook his head and gave an easy carefree laugh.
"Then you won't get to know my costume." He said confidently as if he'd bested her.
Lily shrugged and gave a teasing smirk. "Who said I asked?"
The two of them started to laugh and suddenly everything felt so much easier.