Chapter 23
Once the year group finally made their way down to Hogsmeade Remus slipped away as quickly as possible.
He was bored listening to Peter talk about what he planned to buy at Honeydukes with his allowance. And James and Lily were busy talking and although they were both his friends he knew better than to interrupt. James had finally convinced Lily to hang out with him and he didn't want to bother them on their date. Sirius was the worst though. He was busy flirting with half the girls. All done up and pretty in their non-uniform clothes. A part of Remus envied them. He didn't want to be a girl of course. That wasn't who he was but he found himself jealous. Just a year or two before he would have told himself that this meant he was attracted to them. But now he knew he only wished to be like them.
Soft and sweet. Bouncy around twirling their hair giggling lightly. And utterly bewitching Sirius in the process.
He was so unlike the pretty girls of his year.
His hair was growing back quickly from summer but it wasn't glossy like theirs.
He wasn't soft he was awkward and lanky big shoulders and taught flesh only hardened by bone and the lean muscle puberty provided.
He wasn't sweet. He was closed off and angry at the world for no reason he was entirely sure of other than the hand it had dealt him.
And he didn't bewitch Sirius.
He knew he ought to be ashamed of this. Sirius was his best friend. A fellow Marauder. But Remus couldn't seem to control the way he felt when he heard his laugh or watched him shake his Ash black hair.
You're disgusting.
He reminded himself. Remus wasn't even handsome either. Even if Sirius was gay which he clearly wasn't by the way he ran after girls, what made Remus think he would have a chance?
In the village students started to separate to run to different shops. Remus headed off undetected to find the nearest phone booth.
He had to call Grant.
After a few minutes, he found an old phone booth at the edge of the village.
Remus wasn't sure it would even work, it was so old-looking. But it was his best bet.
He stepped inside the wooden box chipped and peeling with layered shades of red paint.
And pulled out the paper Grant had given him before he returned to Hogwarts.
He dialled the number on it and held his breath as it rang.
Ring
Ring
He might not pick up
Ring
This was a stupid idea
Ringggg
"Hello?" Grant's voice called from the other end.
"Grant!" Remus exclaimed in relief.
"Hello, love," Grant said from the other end. Remus could hear his smile through the phone.
"I'm sorry I haven't called Grant," Remus said immediately apologetic.
"It's alright Love." Grant used this word affectionately but unromanticly as if he was saying 'mate' or 'pal'.
"I was beginning to think you'd forgott'n about me tho. Tell me again why there's no telly-phones in tha' posh school of yours."
Grants gruff but soothing accent was a breath of fresh air to Remus after weeks of only talking to well-spoken Wizards who used no slang or shortened words.
"It's old-fashioned here."
"Right." He didn't ask further happy with that answer.
"I'm guessing you've some to ask me, Remus?" Grant said this so genuinely like he was ready to help a friend. There was never the slightest edge to his voice whenever he spoke.
"Yeah, I do actually." Remus paused wondering if it was terribly cruel to tell Grant how he felt about Sirius after the summer they'd shared. He decided to lead with something else.
"This might seem a weird thing to ask but how did you know I - I was like you?"
"Y' mean gay?" Grant laughed on the other end.
Remus flinched at the word. He knew he liked men but he hated whatever name was on it. It always sounded like an insult. Only less so when Grant said it.
"Yeah .....gay." He said back hesitating to say it out loud as if it made a difference.
Grant sighed cheerily on the other end.
"Oh love, Fella is it?"
Remus was taken aback by how casual he sounded.
"Yeah, you you don't mind do you?"
Grant simply laughed at this in the bright manner he often did at silly things.
"Of course not hun it's not like I expected us to be official or nun like that it was a bit of fun while it lasted of course. But yer my mate I've no reason to stop you from kissin' other blokes."
Remus felt so relieved by this he could barely reply. So Grant continued.
"Gorgeous is he?"
Remus blushed a little.
"Yeah, he is."
"Thems the ones that hurt the most."
"Yeah, I guess so " Remus agreed.
"The pretty ones will break yer heart love," Grant said kindly.
"Abit like you."
Remus's relief was short-lived. He hated the thought of him hurting Grant but the ridiculous notion that he was "Pretty" made him laugh a little.
"I didn't....did I?"
"What break my heart? Of course not sunshine. I'm tougher than that by now. You are bloody gorgeous though oblivious too which makes it worse."
"Don't joke Grant." Remus laughed with his friend.
"See you think it's a joke! For someone so smart yer pretty danm stupid Remus." Grant laughed cheerily.
"Anyways about yer fella. You can't know for sure but if you do know you'll know."
Well, that didn't help much.
Remus stayed chatting with Grant for hours laughing at his stories from the home and jokes about Matron. It was oddly pleasant.
With all that he was. An Orphan. Gay. Werewolf.
Grant was the only person who made him feel normal.