saviour complex

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/M
G
saviour complex
Summary
Lily Evans is sick, sick of feeling like an outsider, sick of the pressure to prove she's more than her blood status and sick of herself. She wanted to be good enough to be accepted. James Potter has been totally infatuated with Lily Evans since he saw her during their first year at Hogwarts. He would love to watch her doing the things that made her Lily like how she would try to make conversation with house elves or comfort homesick first years or would carry a book everywhere. He noticed when she started staring off into the distance more than usual or tapped her fingers around her wrist anxiously. He watched her slowly fade. James has to fix this because isn't that what he does?
Note
TW: homophobia, depression, dissociation, panic attacks, anorexia, eating disorders, PTSD, abuse , harassment.☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ To see how characters are imagined @floraisasleep on pinterest
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Chapter 6

The feast ended and Lily said goodbye to Ainsley and oddly enough James.
She found it really sweet how much he had comforted the first year.

 

"Now remember you can always find me in the common room if you need anything ." Lily said looking at the small girl.

"Thank you Lily." The little girl smiled very grateful.

James jumped in "Yeah cheers Evans I'll take you up on that."

Lily rolled her eyes "Not you Potter. If YOU want help may I suggest a psychiatric ward?."

James pouted comically.
Ainsley started laughing.

Lily left to join her dorm mates heading up to their room.
As not to miss the password.

 

After about an hour the girls were nearly finished packing.
Mary and Marlene had started chatting about how tall some of the boys had gotten. Mentioning Remus Lupin's recent growth spurt. Lily liked Remus he was always kind to her and seemed less idiotic than his friends.
Lily wasn't really interested and checked out of the conversation.
Focusing on unpacking.
She pulled out the rest of her uniforms which she'd also have to size up in a bit.

They weren't too bad though. She thought to herself. Maybe if I just watched the pudding a bit I wouldn't have to write home for new ones. She didn't feel great about doing that anyway. Her school equipment was expensive and while not poor her family was nowhere near as well off as most of her wizard-born classmates.
The knot returned to her chest for some reason.

 

"Wouldn't you say Lily" Mary said.

"What sorry?" Lily questioned snapping back into reality a bit

"James Potter has gotten even more handsome over the summer. While he's not really my type I certainly can't deny that."

"I guess." Lily shrugged

Mary was right of course James Potter was undeniably and irritatingly good-looking. He was quite tall and had a very strong toned body from Quittich. Thick dark hair and sharp jaw.
And that stupid little smile-

"Lilyyyyyy" Marlene laughed "you're smiling."

"Oh dear" Mary said knowingly

"What?" Lily said innocently

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