saviour complex

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/M
G
saviour complex
Summary
Lily Evans is sick, sick of feeling like an outsider, sick of the pressure to prove she's more than her blood status and sick of herself. She wanted to be good enough to be accepted. James Potter has been totally infatuated with Lily Evans since he saw her during their first year at Hogwarts. He would love to watch her doing the things that made her Lily like how she would try to make conversation with house elves or comfort homesick first years or would carry a book everywhere. He noticed when she started staring off into the distance more than usual or tapped her fingers around her wrist anxiously. He watched her slowly fade. James has to fix this because isn't that what he does?
Note
TW: homophobia, depression, dissociation, panic attacks, anorexia, eating disorders, PTSD, abuse , harassment.☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ To see how characters are imagined @floraisasleep on pinterest
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chapter 2

Lily needed to change into robes before they arrived.
She figured better now than later and it wasn't as if she had anyone waiting on her arrival.
She wasn't entirely friendless of course.
Lily was a sweet girl with a kind nature and tended to be friendly to everyone. But because of her friendship with Severus, a particularly disliked slythrin she had never gotten close with many other of her peers.
There was Mary and Marlene of course her dorm mates.
But like everyone else they had a strong distaste for Snape.
And would avoid being near him.

She strolled up the train corridor in search of a vacant toilet.
Eventually she found one.
She hauled her trunk in and locked the door.
Pulling out her robes they were the same used last year.
But when she got her shirt out she had to struggle to button it, particularly around the chest.
Strange she knew she had developed a bit over the summer but she didn't realise how much.
She ran into a similar problem with her skirt.
Lily had always been slight.
But now puberty had hit she had developed a noticeable amount of curves.
Her Thighs seemed bigger and touched at the top for perhaps the first time in her life.
Her stomach was slightly squishy and rolled a bit when she sat. And her chest had grown from an a to C!

How did she not notice this?
She wiggled into her skirt with some effort hopping a bit and knocking over the flask of tea her mum had packed in the process. Spilling it on her overrobe.
*OhforFeckssake*
She performed a quick drying charm and made a mental note to buy a new uniform.
Her cloak was unfortunately still stained a bit and smelt like tea. She resolved to leave it off.
She packed her trunk up again and opened the door hastily.
She heard a sharp
"OW! WATCH IT!"

She froze

Face to face with Snape.
Quite possibly the last person she wanted to see.

"Hello Lily"

he said slowly.
Looking her up and down

"Severus"

She replied
curtly wishing nothing more than to push past him and disappear into a carriage.

"You look different " he said slowly

What the bloody hell did that mean??

"Excuse me?" She said with an edge

"You've filled out a bit" he said matter of factly

 

This stung a bit.
She never felt insecure about her looks before. She was by no means chubby she was still on the skinny side but she had definitely gained a bit of weight over the summer.

"How's that any of your concern Snape!
I best be going you don't want your snotty little pureblood friends to see you talking to a mudblood anyways,"
she snapped.

 

Pushing past
She stormed down the train into the first carriage out of Snapes sight.

She slid open the door to find four boys mid-conversation.
You have to be kidding
The marauders paused as soon as they saw her.

"Hello Evans" beamed James Potter.
A particularly cocky 16-year-old boy from her house.
He was always trying to flirt with Lily for some unknown reason. And she didn't appreciate being made fun of like that.

The other boys simply gawked at her.

"Oh I'm sorry" she flustered closing the door quickly

She paused for a minute
Had James Potter always smiled like that?
She pushed the stupid thought away and looked down the corridor, unable to see Snape anywhere.
He must have gone back to the Slytherins.

She heard the conversation start-up in the carriage again.

 

"Good Merlin check out the Hips on Evans!
sirius blacks voice spoke

"I could see her bra!" Peter Pettigrew's irritating voice piped

"Oh shut up can you not!" James sounded annoyed.

"Sorry Prongs we forgot you are in loooove with her" Sirius mocked

Lily had heard enough.
Was this all boys could talk about! Her body?! Ugh

She couldn't stand it what does that even mean? Hips on Evans? Were they really that big?
She checked around a bit till she found a safe carriage.
Marlene Mckinnon and Mary MacDonald politely welcomed her in.

"What carriage have you come from?" Marlene asked

"Long story" Lily sighed
"I walked into the marauders. "

"Oh god really I hope they didn't give too much hassle they are some lot," Mary said.

"Not to my face but God teenage boys are seriously depraved two seconds after I left they were on about my hips."

 

"Oh dear god " Marlene rolled her eyes

"Sorry about that love I've been hearing the boys talk like that since second year when I grew a cup size," Mary sympathised.

"Boys are nobs either way," Marlene laughed.

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