Attention

Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had a quidditch match today. Gryffindor won by far many points. They decided to celebrate with a party. Sirius invited Regulus, which ment of course that Barty and Evan were also going to join.

Evan wasn’t really in a party mood lately, but he hoped that maybe it would take his mind off certain things. Really, his plan is finding a bottle of fire whiskey and drinking his sorrows away in a corner somewhere in the Gryffindor common room. 

The whole place was hot and crowded, too many students at one place. Loud muggle music was playing, and Barty was out on the floor, dancing. He was beautiful. Evan stared at him in awe. He wanted to go to him, press up tight against him and move his body along with his to the rhythm. 

Barty turned his head towards him, eyes half lidded and his mouth formed in a smirk, while his body moved smoothly to the music. Could he be asking-?

Regulus moved from beside him toward Barty. Reality hit Evan. He took a huge swig of fire whiskey, lightly coughing. He could see them embracing on the dance floor. Merlin, he had to leave. He looked around for his escape. He eyed the Fat Lady’s portrait and ran for it.

He walked quietly from the party and found an empty classroom. Evan couldn’t afford being caught with fire whiskey. He backed away toward a wall and slid down. Settling on the ground, he took another swig of the bottle. There seems to be a permanent pain in his chest everytime he sees those two together. They are his best friends, yet he can’t stand being near their presence.

Beside the pain, there is a hint of resentment also existing in him. Resentment towards Regulus for knowing, yet throwing their relationship in his face. Resentment towards Barty for being blind. But is it valid for Evan to feel this way?

They can’t help having feelings for each other. They don’t owe Evan anything. Why should Regulus not act on his feelings? He shouldn’t have to hide it because of Evan. 

But it still hurts him. Should Evan protect himself and avoid them, or be a good friend and stay? He knows they care about him, they will be hurt if he avoids them. They have been best friends for so long. 

He takes a huge gulp of the fire whiskey, using the back of his hand to wipe off the excess that spilled down his chin. 

The door to the classroom suddenly opened. The back of the person was turned towards him, but he knew who it was.

“Potter?”

James Potter turned sharply around, eyes opened wide. “Oh, I didn't know anyone was here.”

He looked around awkwardly, hands patting his thighs. Evan waited for him to leave. 

Potter didn’t leave.

“Ehm, you have drunk half of the bottle,” he said, pointing at the bottle of fire whiskey. Evan looked at him with what he hoped was an annoyed expression. 

“Yes, and I want to be alone,” he gestured towards the door with the bottle, “so if you could..”

He trails off, hoping Potter would take the hint. He didn’t. Instead, he did something worse. He walked towards Evan and sat beside him on the ground. He extracted his hand and did a ‘gimme’ sign with his hand to the bottle. 

Evan was too shocked to respond. He couldn’t leave him to drink in peace?

Potter did the motion again, and not knowing what else to do, Evan gave it to him. 

He brought up the bottle to his mouth and took a huge swig out of it, letting out a slight hiss after swallowing. Potter looked down at the bottle for a while, so Evan took his time looking at him, not knowing how to react.

“How can you stand being around them?” Potter suddenly says. Evan knows exactly what he means. He never expected anyone mentioning his feelings, so he didn’t answer.

Potter continued, “I mean, you share a room with them,” he looked at Evan, eyes shining full of pain. “How do you not just break?”

It became quiet after that. Potter continues drinking from the bottle. 

Evan has always tried hiding his feelings. No one knew about them (except Regulus, and apparently Potter). No one should ever know about them either, but here Potter is, throwing Evan’s pain to his face. 

He can’t stand being around them. He is breaking down, everyday. Slowly. But he takes a small consolation in the fact that there is someone else going through what Evan does. Maybe he is not so close to them, but Potter too feels pain watching Regulus and Barty. 

“I feel like I'm getting weaker everyday,” he whispers, breaking the silence. He can feel Potter look at him, but he keeps going.

“I feel like in the end I’m gonna fall,” he sighs, “and there will be no one there to pick me up.”

“I will be there,” Potter whispers back. Evan lets out a scoff. 

“No really,” Potter looks at him indignantly with a furrow between his brows. 

“Don’t bother, Potter,” he drawls out, taking the almost-empty bottle from Potter’s hands. He finished it and stood up. Potter also hurriedly got up to his feet. Before he could say anything, Evan walked to the door. He stopped before walking out, and turned slightly.

“Good night, Potter.”

“Night, Rosier.”