Chapter 3
James did not know when he fell in love with Regulus. He thinks it began after Sirius and Regulus patched up. Sirius started inviting Regulus to everything. That also meant his friends would also join.
He knows there is something going on between Regulus and Barty. Sirius too, and he always complains about it. James prefers not to hear it, but he can’t say that to Sirius.
He knows his crush is obvious to everyone, except to Sirius. James doesn’t even want to think about how he would react to that. He is surprised that no one has told him. Maybe they don’t want to face his wrath.
It wasn’t like he was gonna do anything about his feelings. Merlin, why does he keep falling in love with people that will never love him back? It is like he was cursed to feel unrequited love.
Remus would say it’s ridiculous. That he is still young and will find love in the future. Easy for him to say. He found his own soulmate when he was just 11 years old.
Sometimes he is jealous of his friends. He wants what they have, but James doesn’t think it is something meant for him.
Is it karma?
James used to be a bully. He is aware of that. After being rejected by Lily continuously, James stepped back and took a good look at himself. Was that the kind of person he wanted to be in the future?
He used to think Slytherins were the worst people. That they were evil from the moment they were born. James thinks differently now.
He tries to be better. He hasn’t done pranks in a while, and isn’t in the mood to do more anytime soon. He knows Sirius is restless, but even Remus wants to calm down.
The whole gang is in the common room. Sirius and Peter are playing exploding snaps with Marlene, and she is winning, James notices with amusement.
He didn’t join them. He wasn’t really feeling it today. Maybe it was the sight of Regulus today that made him feel slightly off. He really doesn’t wanna feel this way, he sighs. Remus sends him a look from where he sits beside him with his book, but he doesn’t say anything.
Remus has been sending him looks lately. He hasn’t figured out exactly what they mean yet, but he thinks he knows. James doesn’t say anything, not wanting to delve into it yet. Or at all.
Something else that James keeps thinking about, is his meeting with Rosier.
He knows he likes Crouch. It is obvious to everyone, except Barty it seems.
James pities him. He feels bad around them, but he cannot imagine sharing a dorm with them. Rosier looked a few seconds from breaking down in front of him, which has a lot to say considering he usually has an unbothered look on his face all the time, yet he was gonna cry in front of a gryffindor, and not any gryffindor, but James?
Merlin, he wished he still had more of that firewhiskey.
Something that surprises James, is how calming it was talking to Rosier. His friends are probably gonna think he is mental, but he felt some sort of companionship with Rosier of some kind. Like, they knew how the other was feeling. They were going through the same thing.
James doesn’t really know Rosier that well. He knows he comes from a pureblood family with the same views as Sirius’ family. He and Regulus probably grew up together.
Rosier looks very gentle and would always stand behind his friends, which made him a little unnoticed.
That night in the classroom, however, made James look for Rosier more. He doesn't know why he developed a slight interest in him, but it prompts him to befriend him.
It gives him fire - to have a goal. Maybe, instead of moping around, he can use his wasted energy to make friends with Rosier? Yes, that is exactly what he should do!
He stands up, startling Remus, and walks to the dorm to start planning what he should do next.