Chapter 18
Film had woken up to a large glass of water and several pills by Namtan's bedside. After frowning because she'd clearly slept in, missed her morning run, and Namtan, she opted for a shower, pushing the door aside.
Namtan of course, had already been in and out of the shower, the room still thick with the condensation of her time there. Film shut the door behind her and took in a breath, stripping as she turned to face herself in the mirror.
She was a hot mess.
Her makeup was still there in remnants, what she couldn't entirely finish off the night before. Her hair was mussed as she ran a hand through it, combing her fingers through the silky lengths. She revealed her own neck and collarbone then, gasping slightly. Running the pads of her fingers over bruised and marked skin, she felt a smile tugging at her full lips.
She tried not to think too explicitly of Namtan's lips on her skin, biting and suckling as she marked Film up like she belonged to her.
She tried, and failed miserably, throwing herself into the shower, which she kept very cold.
She'd almost slept with Namtan last night.
Almost.
She was glad that they stopped. She couldn't entirely remember why, or what exactly she'd confessed to Namtan, but she knew that Namtan Tipnaree deserved her full performance, unhindered by drunkenness. Namtan Tipnaree deserved the world.
Allowing the rivulets of water to cascade over her body, she ran her hands along the length of her sore legs, as if apologizing to herself for the torturous heels she wore (mostly for Namtan's benefit). She stopped along her thigh, eyes widening as she felt a sense of Deja vu.
Images flashed through her mind of rolling her hips against the Namtan’s thigh, arching into her touch as she got intoxicated once more on Namtan's lips. Had she...? Film shook the thought from her mind as she sped up her shower.
She wasn't sure how to confront Namtan. She was slightly terrified. Namtan meant everything to her, absolutely everything. Namtan was her confidant, her best friend, and her only true ally here, possibly in Film's life. She needed Namtan like her lungs needed air. This, whatever it was that happened, might have derailed that.
But god, how Film wanted it. She couldn't even remember half the things they'd said to each other in the heat of the moment.
Film shut off the water, stepped out, and set about changing, lucky that she'd carried her clothes into the bathroom with her. She wasn't sure where Namtan was, but she knew that it would be no less mortifying if Film was caught bare naked in their hotel room. She wasn't sure what state she'd left Namtan in.
Film dressed and brushed, bracing herself as she opened the door.
She knew that there was only one solution to quell her anxiety. She had to simply suck it up and confront Namtan head on. She had absolutely nothing to lose. If she had to, and Namtan was clearly regretting what had happened (just the thought of it broke Film's heart), she too could hide behind the excuse of alcohol and poor decision making.
This train of thought, however, was entirely derailed when Film swung the bathroom door open, revealing Namtan, who'd turned to her with a fresh mug of coffee in hand. She was all showered and clean, smiling as brightly as the sun that had shone through the clouds to greet her that morning.
Film's breath caught in her throat; Namtan was absolutely stunning still. So that hadn't changed. Of course, she'd thought Namtan was stunning since the moment they met.
"Hi Babi." Namtan greeted softly leaning up to kiss Film's cheek chastely. "I had a feeling you'd be a little confused. Here's coffee. I got room service to bring up breakfast."
Film blinked, mumbling a quick thank you, cheeks burning red. Namtan offered her a smile, and she finally found it in her to reciprocate, hands palming the warm mug as she followed Namtan to the living area of the suite.
"How's your head?" Namtan asked, revealing a plate of waffles, a shared favorite of the two.
"Better, with the pills, thanks." Film replied softly. "Still feels like I was hit by a bus, though."
Namtan chuckled at that, and Film was in heaven at the sound. "Yeah, it'll do that the first couple of times."
"Couple of times?" Film quirked a brow. "Namtan Tipnaree, how are you still alive?"
"I eat greasy food and listen to my best friend when they tell me how to treat a hangover." She responded teasingly, pushing a plate of hash browns towards Film as well.
Film smiled at that, shaking her head as she reached for a fork and knife, sitting opposite Namtan.
"So, you want to know what happened?" Namtan asked, and suddenly, Film was choking on her bite of hash brown.
"I think I have a vague idea." Film coughed out, sipping her coffee.
Namtan just leaned forward, reaching for Film's hand across the table, lacing their fingers together.
"Film." She breathed, and Film's heart stopped dead in its tracks.
"Namtan." Film responded as evenly as she could. Oh, god, Namtan was going to let her down easy. She was going to tell her it was a mistake, that it was all just drunken antics and a little less than a one-night stand, and that was all there was to it.
"I want to do this right." Namtan's voice was, if Film was hearing correctly, slightly shaky. As if she were nervous. Her. Namtan Tipnaree. Artist and socialite extraordinaire. Nervous about asking Film Rachanun, foster child and nearly failed businesswoman about her feelings.
It was almost laughable.
Film's mouth parted slightly in surprise. She hadn't expected that.
"Film, I..." Namtan bit her lip, smiling slightly as she met Film's eyes, giving her hand a squeeze. "You're my best friend. No matter what, you always will be. I just-" she shook her head, laughing quietly at herself.
Film was practically on the edge of her seat, listening intently to every syllable that spilled out of Namtan's full lips.
"I sound like an idiot. God, I don't know why I'm so nervous. It's you. We're best friends." Namtan chuckled, shaking her head.
Before Film could protest, Namtan was at it again with renewed vigor.
"Film, what I'm trying to say is-will you go on a date with me?" Namtan's eyes twinkled in the light, warm and inquisitive. Her bottom lip pulled into a shy smile, as if Film's rejection would send her reeling.
Film's heart stopped, she was sure. Time itself stopped. She had waited so long, doing nothing out of fear, and yet, she'd taken the leap with Namtan. And now, her world was upside down.
Her response wasn't nearly as suave as she would've liked.
"A date?" Film quirked a brow, voice falsely calm. "Um, Namtan, haven't we already been on those? I mean, we're a couple, we're at your family reunion-"
Namtan's look of confusion soon morphed into a grin. She shook her head, and Film's ramblings were cut off immediately.
"No, Film. A date." Namtan's grin was absolutely the most beautiful thing Film had ever seen.
"A date-date?" Film repeated the word, as if it gave it new meaning. "Like, a real date?"
Namtan nodded slowly, humming her response. "Mmhmm. No family. No lies. Just you, and me, and a cute little restaurant of my choosing."
Film nodded slowly, a shocked smile forming on her face. She felt ecstatic, electric, absolutely euphoric. It was happening. "Okay."
"Today?" Namtan nearly leapt out of her seat.
"Today?" Film echoed, eyes widening.
"I'm not really sure this can wait." Namtan admitted slowly, hoping she wasn't overwhelming Film.
Film felt her smile widen, absolutely giddy, almost to the point of embarrassment, like a schoolgirl being asked out for the first time. "Today." She confirmed with a small nod.
"It's a date." Namtan whispered with a brilliant, toothy smile.
*
If Film had thought the question of "What now?" was going to hang in the air between the two best friends, she would have been wrong.
In fact, almost immediately after breakfast, Namtan had scooped up most of her wardrobe into her almost empty suitcase, zipping it up with a small smile.
"What's going on?" Film asked as she rolled the breakfast cart outside of their door, ashamed that she'd nearly devoured everything on it. Food in her stomach just felt so right.
"I'm spending the day with Lookmhee, so I can get ready for our date, and pick you up when its time." Namtan replied matter-of-factly, watching Film lean against the bedroom doorframe with a look of disbelief. "What?"
"You don't have to avoid me, Namtan, it's not our wedding day." Film's eyes widened and her smirk faded when she realized the gravity of what she'd just said, somehow implying that she and Namtan were to get married.
"I-" Namtan coughed awkwardly, watching as Film's cheeks burned. "I told you; I want to do this right."
Film nodded slowly, her breathing more and more shallow as she took in the sight of Namtan before her.
"Hey..." Namtan clicked her tongue, stepping forward, her arms cupping Film's cheeks.
Film stopped breathing altogether.
"I want you to enjoy this." Namtan breathed gently, bringing Film's forehead to touch hers. Film's arms subconsciously wrapped around Namtan, pulling her in closer. "We're still best friends. We always will be. I just-" Namtan trailed off, glancing at Film's lips. She leaned in slightly, hovering there as her eyes flicked up to Film.
"Is this okay, Babi?"
Film answered by leaning forward, lips just barely grazing Namtan's when the door to their room opened abruptly, and Film cursed herself for wedging the cart in between the door so it wouldn't close.
"Look at this." Lookmhee smirked, Sonya in tow, both looking like they fared the evening considerably better than Namtan and Film.
"Fantastic." Namtan mumbled against Film's lips, and Film chuckled as they separated with the utmost reluctance.
"So, it only took you, what? Four days?" Lookmhee quirked a brow, elbowing Film playfully.
"Mhee, stop." Namtan rolled her eyes, her hand on Film's toned stomach, getting chills at the contact, even through her tank top. "I'll see you, okay?"
Film nodded, fighting her urge to lean forward and kiss Namtan with the same dominance and intensity she had back in D.C.
That could come later. She needed to act confident, and her mind would catch on. Namtan deserved that much.
"Looks like I'm babysitting you." Sonya smirked, putting her arm around Film's shoulder.
"That's funny. Shouldn't the more responsible of the two be the babysitter?" Film fired back, a smirk of her own on her face.
"Good to see Namtan hasn't tamed you." Sonya rolled her eyes.
“Good to see Lookmhee has you on a leash." Film retorted, watching Namtan and Lookmhee leave with a longing glance.
"So." Sonya smirked, falling back onto the couch. "Let's talk about Tipnaree. Her surprise party is tonight."
Film's eyes widened and all she could do was gape at Sonya. "What? How do you know? Her birthday isn't until tomorrow."
Sonya nodded with a smirk. "Lana told all of us. They're doing it tonight so Namtan won't expect it. So the date is actually perfect, it gives us time to prepare."
Film blinked. "Prepare? What, exactly?"
Sonya waved a hand nonchalantly. "Don't worry about it. Just keep your phone on you. I'll text you where to bring her when its time. Make something up, you're clever. You went to an ivy league, didn't you?"
"Georgetown." Film reminded with a roll of her eyes.
"Same difference." Sonya shrugged, toying with the lace on her boot.
Film ran a hand through her brunette waves, biting her lip. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"
Sonya rolled her eyes. "Because, we all knew you'd tell Namtan out of mercy. Which, you better not, by the way. That's not what good girlfriends do."
"We're not girlfriends." Film protested weakly, feeling something odd stir in her chest. That's what they were trying to be, wasn't it?
"Let's talk about that." Sonya folded her arms neatly, doing her best impression of a therapist.
"Or, we could talk about your impending relationship with Lookmhee." Film offered as she sunk into the seat across Sonya, fingers toying with her bracelet, aching to be by Namtan's side.
"Fine." Sonya acquiesced. "I'm assuming Tipnaree filled you in on the details. You two don't seem like the type to keep secrets."
At that, Film flashed her a small smile. "I know about Faye." She admitted.
Sonya nodded slowly. "Well, after she was out of the picture, I don't know."
"You fell in love?" Film tested.
"Hell no!" Sonya looked as if she'd been slapped. "What is with everyone and needing to label their relationships?"
"Oh, so it's casual sex?" Film pressed knowingly. "You'd be fine if Lookmhee hooked up with Ten?"
"Okay." Sonya sighed. "Maybe not."
Film smiled at her friend, happy that she had found some direction with her feelings, that she was no longer pining after Lookmhee like a disgruntled puppy, if there were such a thing. "I'm happy for you."
Sonya flashed her a quick smile. "Thank you. But that doesn't mean you're off the hook. What happened last night?"
Film balked, blinking momentarily.
"Oh my god. You two had sex. I saw her dragging you out of the club with the bedroom eyes and whispers."
Film turned beet red. She took in a breath, rubbing a hand behind her neck. "Almost. We didn't."
Sonya's face fell. "What?" She scoffed. "Film Rachanun! How'd you fuck that up? It was laid on a silver platter for you."
Film rolled her eyes. "Sex isn't everything."
Sonya smirked. "That's definitely something only someone in love would say."
Film bit her lip at the mention of the very dangerous four-letter word, the one that held the power to derail her life, her entire existence, if she let it.
Sonya seemed to sense her unease. "What?" She scoffed. "You've said that to each other. I've heard you say it. You guys are doing everything out of order."
Film shook her head. "That was different. That was as friends."
"Are you kidding me?" Sonya snorted. "Do you know how childish that sounds? I love you means I love you. There aren't different kinds of love."
Film's eyes widened. "Oh yes there are."
"Not with the way Namtan looks at you." Sonya sighed. "You know, for such a remarkable woman, you're pretty blind."
Film sighed. "It's-it's not easy for me, Sonya. Everything that I've ever known has been temporary. The only constant in my life was myself, because I learned that self-reliance is the only thing keeping me alive."
Never mind the fact that she hated herself for leeching off of Namtan's family for the sake of her own business, her own wants and needs. Namtan's feelings for her, whatever they may have been, were irrelevant. She was responsible for her own questionable decisions, and it ate away at her conscience.
"But Namtan contradicts that theory." Sonya nodded knowingly, feeling a pang of guilt for her longtime friend.
Film nodded. "Namtan changes everything."
*
"So." Lookmhee smirked cheekily as she flopped back on the couch, watching Namtan unzip her belongings, laying everything out.
"So." Namtan stalled, avoiding eye contact with Lookmhee.
"Let's not play coy. Sex with Film. How mind-blowing was it?"
"Hmm, I don't know, what about you and Sonya?" Namtan rolled her eyes.
"That doesn't work on me, I'll have you know it was mind-blowing."
"Okay, you know what? Don't need those mental images." Namtan shook her head, turning with a sigh to Lookmhee. "We didn't quite get there."
Lookmhee feigned a gasp of terror. "You're telling me our resident gentlewoman Film Rachanun stopped you from having drunk sex? Oh, what a shock! The horror!"
Namtan paled. "Actually, I did."
Lookmhee shot out of her seat like Namtan had lit a flame beneath her. "You what?"
"I did." Namtan affirmed. "Chu, she means everything to me. I wanted to get it right."
"Oh my god, you're in so deep." Lookmhee grinned. "Get it right? What, like it's hard?"
Namtan scoffed. "No, I mean-she's fragile. I didn't want her to feel overwhelmed and regret it the next morning. Besides she had already-on my thigh... You know what, can we please just talk about the date?"
Lookmhee was grinning ear to ear, shrugging, falling back into her chair. "Whatever you want. I'm just confused. I don't get it. Where do you stand with her right now?"
Namtan bit her lip. "I-I don't really know. I think we're pushing past the friend stage, at this point. But it's different because... It's Film. I already know everything about her, I've already told her I loved her. It's all out in the open."
Lookmhee nodded, furrowing her sculpted brow. "So why the date? Why not just have that talk?"
"Film has had a bit of a tortured past." Namtan sighed, her eyes glistening with emotion.
"So have a lot of foster kids." Lookmhee pointed out.
"Right, I know, but Film was moved so many times. And I mean, what her foster mother did to her-she was broken, Lookmhee."
Lookmhee nodded, watching Namtan blink away any form of overwhelming emotion. "So you want to ease her into this?"
Namtan nodded. "At least until I can gauge how she's feeling."
Lookmhee accepted that, and her eyes flicked towards the dresses Namtan had been holding, awaiting further contemplation.
"Let's talk about happy things. Like the fact that you're gonna get some prime pre-birthday sex." Lookmhee teased, carefully segueing Namtan off of the emotional topic of Film's past.
Namtan grinned at Lookmhee, trying not to seem too excited. "...Maybe." She admitted quietly, watching Lookmhee match her grin. "Speaking of birthdays, have you heard any secret news about my surprise party? You know I hate them."
Lookmhee shrugged, blocking out the exact conversation she'd had with Lana just hours earlier. "Uh, nope, not yet. Lana must have figured I'd spill, so I haven't heard a thing."
Namtan nodded, tilting her head in thought. "It'd probably be tomorrow or the day after, anyway. Just text me if you hear anything?"
Lookmhee nodded, sending a wink in Namtan's direction. "Anything for you."
If Namtan had been looking for her expression, she would have noticed the way Lookmhee winced slightly at the lie, a smirk on her lips.
Namtan was in for a surprise.
*
If Namtan had been rendered breathless at the sight of Film, Film was even more so. From the moment Film opened their hotel room door, she'd been reminded, yet again, that she was perhaps one of the luckiest people on the planet.
Sonya had shouldered her way past them, muttering a quick, "Have her home before midnight, champ." Before taking her leave back to Lookmhee.
Film and Namtan, however, were both oblivious to the world, simply staring at one another and blushing, smiling softly, like they'd both known a beautiful little secret that entwined them.
"Hi." Namtan's voice was husky, returned back to its normal state.
Before meeting Namtan, Film would have scoffed at the idea of an attractive voice. Namtan Tipnaree, like always, changed her outlook on that as well.
"Hey." Film spoke, her voice and self-more confident than she would have imagined. Namtan always seemed to bring out the best in her. "Namtan, you look so beautiful." The sentiment died in her throat as Namtan leaned forward, cupping Film's cheeks.
"So do you." Namtan whispered with a smile, capturing Film's lips in a teasing, delicate flutter of a kiss.
Film hummed against her lips, still high on the sensation of kissing Namtan without the limitations and boundaries of their situation. It was real.
When they broke apart, Film was still wearing her smile on her full, glossed lips. "Aren't kisses traditionally reserved towards the end of the date?"
Namtan chuckled, lacing her hand with Film's. "What about us, exactly, is traditional?"
Film had to agree, absolutely nothing.
But that was what made it so beautiful.