Chapter 19
It hadn't been thirty seconds. Film was casually leaning against the wall of Keith and Lana's grand suite hotel room, trying desperately to tame her breathing and slightly erratic heart rate as she waited for Namtan, who'd slipped in to pick up her other purse, which she'd left there since game night, claiming it matched her dress far better.
They were going on a date. A real date.
The gilded chandeliers waved overhead ever so slightly, casting beautiful displays of rainbow-tinged light through the crystals that hung off the edges.
Film, too numb and simply too nervous and excited to respond, nodded and leaned herself against the wall, admiring the luxurious upholstery of the hotel hallway, wondering if she'd ever have seen something so opulent and decadent on her own dime, from her own hard work.
She'd wagered that she never would have made it to the airport on her own dime, let alone the cross-country flight and the five-star resort.
The thought made her shoulders sag slightly, and she felt a sort of nagging dysphoria.
This wasn't her life. This wasn't her world, her family.
This wasn't where she'd belonged. She'd remembered the words of Nia Tips, one of her most ruthless foster caretakers. She'd forgotten what was, perhaps, Nia's most emphasized lesson.
Know your place, Film. Don't get your head lost in the clouds, because it certainly doesn't belong up there.
Film had resented those words, but she'd known them to be true. The things she'd done, as a result of feeling the desperation of need, neglect.
Film was certainly up in the clouds, far too high for her liking. She'd chased an angel like Namtan, and now, she couldn't see the ground below her. At any moment, she could fall.
She heard the door creak open and she straightened up, readying herself for Namtan. She prayed her melancholy thoughts wouldn't seep through her smile that she'd just put on.
Instead, she found herself eye-to-eye with Keith, in his casual yet formal button-up and slacks. He donned a knowing smile, his hands in his pockets as he shut the door behind him, greeting Film.
"Mr. Tipnaree." Film nodded, widening her smile slightly, partially out of reflex, but also because she truly adored Keith Tipnaree.
Keith shot her a faux glare, and Film put her arms up apologetically.
"My apologies, Keith." Film corrected, and he flashed her a toothy grin.
"Much better. I hate feeling like I'm sixty. Even though that's not so far down around the corner.." He teased, giving her a light chuckle. "Sorry, Namtan tells me dad jokes are lame and I'm 'not to make them in front of Film, under any circumstances, Dad.'" He smirked, doing his best impression of his daughter, his hands on his hips like Namtan often did when she was bossing Film around.
A part of Film was touched that Namtan had the foresight to hide Keith's dad jokes from her. She was flattered.
Film actually grinned at that, but, remembering her predicament, it quickly faded. She settled for a nervous smile.
"So.." Keith jerked his thumb back to the room, rolling his eyes. "Drama."
Film cocked her head, brows raised in response. "Between Lana and Namtan?"
Keith nodded, but a smile teased at his lips. "Namtan's realizing that her purse doesn't match her dress, and Lana's offering her the whole collection from our suitcase, and well, since Namtan is so embarrassed, I figured I'd mosey on over here to keep your company."
Film chuckled at that, shaking her head. "But Namtan never cared that much about fashion.."
Keith nodded, grinning wide. "Oh, yeah. She hates that stuff. But, I don't know, something tonight has her worked up. It's just a date night, right? You're not popping the question, or anything? Maybe you left the ring box out and she saw and wanted to look nice." Keith shrugged, elbowing Film gently.
Film's eyes widened and she choked on her own laugh.
Namtan was nervous for their first date, too. That was good news.
Oh, and Keith thought she was going to propose marriage to Namtan.
Fantastic. At least they'd sold their act well enough.
Maybe that was her calling. Acting. Was it really acting? Professional lying, maybe?
"I-" Film cleared her throat. "Not that I'm aware of." She settled on that, chancing a smile at Keith.
"Just a date, then?" Keith smirked. "That's a fine love you two have there. Man, if she still gets butterflies and babbles like an idiot to me and her mother at this stage in the game, Film, she's yours."
Film felt an achy tug in her chest, and she averted her gaze, suddenly finding the white, cake-like layering of the ceiling to be incredibly interesting. She hated lying to Keith. He'd been nothing but good to her. He'd been fatherly, loving, and supportive. He barely knew her. Or, so she thought.
And Film had lied, and lied, and lied. She'd lied about loving and cherishing his only daughter, about keeping her safe and protecting her. She'd lied about the status of their relationship, even though it was just now blooming.
It didn't matter. She was just as Nia predicted. She was beneath them, and she'd somehow slipped up and forgotten her place.
"Listen, uh, Film," Keith began, placing a hand on her wrist. She glanced down, offering him a weak smile. "Can I talk to you for a moment? Seriously?"
Film swallowed the lump in her throat.
Oh, god, he knew. He knew, and he'd been testing her all along. He knew, and he'd been gauging her less than desirable responses.
"Look." Keith sighed, his hazel eyes piercing Film's, like Namtan's did. "I know that Namtan isn't always the easiest.." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Wait. No. You know what? This isn't even about her." Keith shook his head once more, now impassioned in his speech. "This is about you."
Film's virid gaze widened as she opened her mouth, unable to form a coherent sentiment. "I-"
"You are really something; you know that?" Keith began, but the question seemed rhetorical, and Film let her unuttered response die in her throat. "I've seen Namtan with a lot of people. I mean, even the family, these kids.. You're different. I noticed how much she loves you from the moment I saw you two interact. It just clicked in my head, y'know? God, I haven't seen Namtan smile so widely in years. The last time I've seen this-this life, this happiness in her, it was when I told her she could pursue art."
Film felt the unsettling rhythm of her heart beat blood into her weakened body. She was unable to think, to speak, to do anything other than breathe, and listen to Keith's every word, contemplating the meaning.
This didn't feel like an accusation.
"And art means a lot to Namtan." Keith shrugged, one hand still holding Film's wrist. "She loves it. But when she sees you, she's even happier. And I just know she loves you more, and I didn't think that was even possible." Keith chuckled in amazement. "But like I said, this isn't about Namtan. I got to know you, these past few days. I got to see your character and your integrity, and I listened to Namtan just go on and on about how driven and sharp you are...I mean, magna cum laude Georgetown, what a success! And Namtan has told me that you haven't had the best of backgrounds, but I'm so glad you found us. Because this family is very willing to have you, Film."
Film hadn't realized that tears were brimming in her eyes until they rolled down, staining her cheekbones, leaving soft trails and traces of tears. And yet, she was smiling, The praise from a parental figure, someone so successful and esteemed like Keith, it was emotionally jarring. Especially when someone like Nia had beaten it into her mind that she never could accomplish something.
"Oh, shoot, please don't cry." Keith shook his head apologetically. "Namtan will kill me. I didn't tell you this to upset you. I just-" He released Film's hand, reaching for the antique, expensive looking silver watch on his wrist. He took it off, and glanced at Film with a smile. "This was my father's." He began.
Film's eyes widened and she croaked, "Keith, I couldn't-"
Keith put his hand up, shaking his head. "Please. It's broken, and it doesn't tick anymore. I've been meaning to get it fixed. But," He shook his head. "It brought me luck when I had nothing but a startup company on my hands, and a couple of hundred dollars to back me. I hope it brings you the same kind of fortune. That's not to say I won't help you out a little more." He shrugged, grinning as he took Film's hand, placing the watch in her palm as he closed her fingers around it. "As far as I'm concerned, kid, you're one of us."
Film bit her lip, trying to hold back her sob as she wiped at her tears, smiling messily as she whispered, "Thank you, I-I..."
Keith heard the door open behind him. Leaning forward, he whispered, "I'd put it on you, but Namtan might get mad if it doesn't match her dress. And me? I'm practically colorblind. I think it's silver." He teased with a wink before stepping aside so Namtan could come out, grin on her features.
"Hey dad, Film-" She stopped, her gaze widening as she gaped at Film, who'd just tucked the watch away in her purse, Namtan having missed it. "Oh my god, dad, what did you do?"
Keith winked at Film, smiling at Namtan. "Nothing, darling. You two enjoy your date, huh? Film, we can talk business tomorrow."
He shut the door behind him, and the lock clicked in place as Namtan whipped around, seething.
"Oh my god." She whispered, immediately cupping Film's cheeks as she brushed away whatever remnants of tears there were with her thumbs, kissing each of Film's cheeks delicately. "What did he say?"
Film knew that if she revealed the truth to Namtan, about how guilty she felt accepting the watch, she'd put a dent in Keith's relationship with his daughter.
That was the last thing she wanted.
"We bonded." Film shrugged, flashing Namtan a small, lip biting smile.
That seemed to placate Namtan, who looked ready to estrange her father for making Film tear up in the slightest.
"These are happy tears?" Namtan breathed in relief. "I mean; I know his dad jokes are brutal but-"
"These are happy tears." Film confirmed, rocked by Namtan's fierce protectiveness of her. She leaned forward, arms lacing behind Namtan's neck as she leaned to capture Namtan's lips in a tender kiss, smiling against Namtan's lips when she squealed in surprise and delight.
"You ready for our date?" Namtan asked against Film's lips, her hands around Film's waist, rubbing softly against her skin.
"Of course." Film responded bravely, pulling apart from Namtan's embrace to lace their hands together. She had to maintain her composure.
"Great." Namtan whispered, smiling at Film as they made their way down the hallway. "Oh, and one more thing?"
"Hmm?"
“You look gorgeous.”
*
The restaurant resembled Namtan in so many ways. It was sort of garden like, open and airy, in the style of a small, intimate courtyard. It was full of laughter and soft conversation, the sound of champagne popping and bubbling, wines tasted and bites shared between starry-eyed couples.
Lights were strung overhead, creating a charming effect, and the center fountain was cascading in beautiful form.
Like Namtan, it was something out of a dream.
They'd taken a cab (which Film learned was quite a difficult feat to accomplish in Los Angeles, seeing as they were few and far between).
Film had felt all of her fears assuaged for the time being, and once again, she was intoxicated from her time with Namtan Tipnaree. Loving Namtan was simply too easy, too tempting, and she fell into a rhythm once more.
Though both girls were nervous, understandably, it didn't show. In fact, it had all but dissipated. Film had come to the realization that there was nothing to be nervous about; she'd done it all before, with Namtan.
They shared giggles and a few minor stories in the car, pointing out various landmarks and memories that accompanied them.
They'd gotten to the restaurant, which had a line wrapped around the building, and Film felt a quiet pang when she realized Namtan must have gone to great lengths and thrown around some of Keith's influence to get them seated at all, let alone practically private seating in the corner of the courtyard, by the rose garden.
When Film had inquired, as curiosity had waged a war within her and won out, Namtan smirked and replied, "I know a guy who knows a guy."
Film didn't have to know that she'd argued on the phone for a solid two hours under the guise of "spending time with Lookmhee" to make it all work out.
Film's expression was worth every second.
The two had been seated, and Film donned a little smirk when Namtan ordered a cabernet for their meal, attracted to the confidence in her husky tone and the waiter's apparently shared sentiment.
"What?" Namtan grinned, turning back to Film.
"That was very attractive, Ms. Tipnaree." Film awarded, eyes twinkling.
"Oh, okay, I'll add that to the list of things Film finds oddly attractive. So far we have... pineapples, from your reaction to eating one a few days ago, and.. ordering wine."
"Shut up." Film rolled her eyes, but Namtan's playful smile kept it lighthearted.
"So, Ms. Rachanun." Namtan feigned a distant, curious voice as she nodded to the waiter when he returned, pouring their wine into their respective glasses. "What is it you do for a living?"
Film shook her head in amusement, watching the waiter leave, her attention refocusing on Namtan. "We've already exhausted every first date topic. And the second date. Hell, maybe even the fiftieth."
At that, Namtan grinned, because she could certainly enjoy the implications of fifty dates with Film.
Film hadn't seemed to catch that. "That's part of why I was so nervous to do this. I-" She trailed off when she realized what she'd admitted.
Namtan's gaze softened. "You were nervous, too?"
"You were?" Film gaped.
"Of course." Namtan replied like it was obvious. "Have you-have you seen yourself?"
Film blushed, and shook her head. "A failed businesswoman with mild to poor prospects. How sexy."
Namtan shook her head. "That's not what I see, Film. I see an incredibly determined, sharp woman, who wins out against every odd before her, and maintains a beautiful sense of humor, and an ability to care." Her voice softened with every sentiment, and Film's heart was racing once more. Namtan seemed to realize the serious turn she'd taken and added, "And smoking hot, of course." She threw in a wink for extra measure.
At that, Film smirked at Namtan, shaking her head in faux exasperation. She feared she'd be too emotional to respond.
Namtan really was the greatest person she knew. And Namtan saw her like that. It was the stuff of daydreams.
Namtan's fingers wrapped around the stem of her wine glass, and she lifted it, murmuring, "To us."
Film reciprocated, swallowing back the discomfort in her throat as she took in the wine, hoping it would wash away her doubts.
Perhaps not with a single sip, but she could persevere.
A quiet silence fell over them when Namtan leaned forward, eyes sparkling as she met Film's gaze, smiling faintly.
Film felt a blush creep on her cheeks, and she wished it away, but ultimately found herself smiling stupidly at Namtan.
"What?" She asked, softly, almost shyly.
"You're really beautiful." Namtan shrugged, licking her lips.
Film's blush deepened with that, but she managed a scoff. "No, really. I can see the wheels in your mind turning, Namtan."
Namtan grinned, Film knew her all too well.
"Okay, you got me. While I do maintain that you're the most beautiful woman on the planet," Namtan began with a valiant, love-struck sigh. "I also came to another realization."
"Oh?" Film leaned forward, a teasing smile on her lips. "This should be good."
"Hear me out." Namtan started with an amused look. "This is our first date, right?"
"Right."
"Wrong." Namtan clicked her tongue to further prove the point.
Film cocked a brow, an amused grin on her lips. "It's not?"
"Not even close." Namtan shook her head. "Because, if you think about it, really, Film.. We've been dating for a year."
Film's grin never faded, but her eyebrows were up in surprise at Namtan's antics. "How do you figure, Namtan?"
"Well, okay, think about it." Namtan smirked. "We both admitted that we were attracted to each other since day one. Unless, of course, you were lying."
Film shook her head. "Guilty as charged."
Namtan gave her a little smile at that, clearly pleased. "Okay, so first, we acknowledge that the attraction was there."
"Yes."
"So, look at what we've been doing since." Namtan illustrated with a grand wave of her hands. "We've cuddled, told each other our deepest secrets, spooned, had sleepovers, hosted dinner for each other." She shrugged. "It's dating without the intimacy. And we've been 'dating' for almost a year, now. More, if you don't count your on and off times with Kapook, which I will not chalk up to you cheating on me, thank you very much. I'm lenient."
Film looked unconvinced, rolling her eyes "I don't know-" She bit her lip. "Aren't those all just, best friend attributes?"
It was Namtan's turn to roll her eyes. "Film, lovers are best friends. At least, that's how it should be. Think about it, what is a relationship? It's best friends, with intimacy. Orm's right, Babi, we've done it all. I know everything there is to know about you. And we've been domestic." She grinned. "We're practically a married couple."
Film was dumbstruck. Namtan's points had an incredible amount of merit to them. And it wasn't simply the wine talking.
The candle flame danced between them, and it lit parts of Film's face, casting a soft glow on her jawline.
"So really, I mean, we've had a really complete relationship." Namtan shrugged. "We've dated, and after this trip, you've lived with me, we've even gone on vacation together." Namtan teased. "At least, that's how I see it."
Film was grinning at her, nodding. "I suppose your logic-adds up." The feeling it gave her was indescribable. All this time, she and Namtan had been building what was a perfect relationship, without knowing it.
Namtan nodded, and she leaned forward even more, Film meeting her halfway. Their lips were inches apart, their gazes heavy, charged with electricity.
"You know." Namtan murmured, voice low and husky. "I was going to order dessert. But then, the idea came to me. Why order dessert when I can just take my girlfriend back to our hotel room and ravish her over and over again instead?"
Film let out a gasp involuntarily, thighs clenching under the table as her eyes took in Namtan's rapidly darkening hazel gaze. Namtan's girlfriend. That was what she was, wasn't it? Namtan was right. After all they'd been through, there was no point in denying it.
And god, she wanted her girlfriend to make good on that promise.
The wine had numbed her, yet Namtan made her feel like she had heightened senses. It was a sweet dichotomy that was sure to lead to something she'd either regret, or want to repeat all over again.
"The challenge will be keeping it together in the cab." Namtan smirked as Film slid her card into the plastic holder of the check, sliding it across the table, licking her lips. Namtan knew her father would pay Film One hundred fold for the meal.
Namtan decided that continued teasing was necessary. "But don't worry. Don't think I've forgotten about what you to me last night. I'll take the favor back." Namtan whispered as she traced a hand on Film's thigh under the table, watching as Film's breathing quickened slightly.
In that moment, seconds felt like years before the damned waiter returned.