Call it fate, call it destiny
Regulus has never believed in fate or destiny. Maybe he did, once when he was a kid, but not anymore. It used to be a relaxing thought, but now is more of an anxious one. Waiting for something to happen and not being able to do anything about it yourself? He doesn’t think so. He prefers doing things his own way, at his own time, makes him feel safer. Now saying that, he can and will absolutely thank his destiny for Evan and Barty.
It basically starts after they finish packing their things for the tour that starts tomorrow. They were sitting at the dining table when all of the sudden, Barty had an idea. And Regulus has never, ever, thought Barty has good ideas.
“We should go out tonight, to celebrate,” he announces. “We go on tour tomorrow, something to have a last night not being famous,” he grins and Evan grins back.
“We are not famous,” Regulus says.
“Oh, but we will,” Barty winks at him and Regulus rolls his eyes.
“I’m in,” Evan says and gets up and walks to the kitchen to wash his dish.
“Great, so are you, Reg, it’s not even a question.”
Just another bad idea from Barty’s mouth, and just like any other idea he has had, Regulus ends up tangled up in it. He doesn’t mind going out from time to time, he has to be really in the mood to do it. Today he isn’t. He had plans, alright? Watching a series, reading a bit, listening to music and going to sleep, resting for what the next weeks of his life will be. So by the time the night comes, Regulus has just finished taking a shower, walking to his bookshelf to choose his next book, when Barty appears in front of him.
“What do you think you are doing?” Barty asks with the tone of a mother who just caught their children sneaking out.
“Going to bed?”
“Absolutely not,” Barty says and snatches his book from his hand. “You are going to get back to your room and change to go out. Right now,” he orders him. Regulus is about to roll his eyes and grab his book back from Barty when he says: “I’m not joking, Regulus. Go. Back. To. Change.”
“Why would I go? You are just going to be with me for like twenty minutes and then ditch me when you find someone to go get laid,” Regulus says and it is true, they have done this to him multiple times.
“Well, when was the last time you got laid?” Barty asks back. Regulus doesn’t respond. Because, yes, it has been a while, not because the opportunity hasn't been presented, plenty of women have offered when he goes out, but he just hasn’t been in the mood (that is a complete lie, he is always in the mood). “See, maybe today will be the day, so go get ready and look slutty.”
And he took that personally.
He chooses his clothes carefully and precisely, aiming to make people turn to look at him, tonight it doesn’t matter he doesn’t like attention, he will get it and that is a fact. He knows how to make himself look good and appealing, no one will be able to resist him. He debates whether to leave the chain on or not, but he decides to leave it as it makes the black on his clothes stand out and it embraces his waist really well.
He has been insinuated two times by the time they get to the club, and both times he has turned down the offer. Lovely, lovely women, but he wasn’t interested in them, maybe once he gets inside the club he will find someone that catches his eye.
Because they are outside, making a line to get in the club. Barty decided to go to one of the most exclusive clubs in the city where you had only three options to get inside: be famous (they weren’t), make a reservation (they didn’t) or make a line (they are). They’ve been in line for the past hour and Regulus is deciding whether to go home, yell at Barty for not making a reservation or be patient. He decides on the second option.
“How could you not make a reservation?”
“I’m sorry, Reg, maybe I was too occupied making you want to come in the first place,” Barty says, frowning.
“So it is my fault?”
“Maybe it is!”
“How could it possibly be my fault? It was your idea to come and we are not even inside!”
“Oh for the love of God, shut the fuck up and get inside,” the man who managed who gets inside and who doesn’t, snaps at them and looks at them exasperated.
“See? Now you made him mad,” Regulus tells Barty and starts walking to the inside of the club.
“Oh, shut it, Reg,” is Barty’s response.
“Jesus Christ,” the man says.
“I know, I know,” Regulus hears Evan say and gives the man a little pat in the shoulder as he passes by his side.
The music is louder than he expected, he doesn’t like it and like every other club he’s been to he doesn't get used to it, he just tolerates it. They make their way to an empty table and just stand there looking around. He can’t see anyone he feels attracted to, but he sees someone familiar in the place and she seems to recognise them too.
“Well, hello there,” she says when she is close to them. She has a couple of drinks in her hand. She is really beautiful, her red hair is long and it makes her freckles stand out.
“Hi, Lily,” Evan greets her.
“What are you doing here? We are supposed to meet tomorrow for the first show and let me tell you, those are the worst. When you have a show the same day you arrived,” she sighs like she is making memory of the past.
“We are here to celebrate the opportunity to go on tour with you guys,” Barty smiles. Regulus has never seen Barty as happy as he has been since they won, it suits him.
“We are also celebrating our friend’s birthday, you should join,” she says but the three of them look at each other and they just know. Tonight is about them, about three friends celebrating a mutual win. Well, at least as soon as they leave Regulus to go with someone else. Either way, they know it is best if they remain together for as long as they can.
“Thank you, Lily, maybe another time,” Regulus says politely and Lily smiles.
“I bet there will be another time,” she promises. “I gotta go, but I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
After that, Evan and Regulus send Barty to get some drinks and he comes back with six shots, two for each other. They drink them in record time, it burns a little, but it is good. It takes three more shots each for Barty to take them to the dancefloor and manages to dance with both of them, he’s always been like that, never leaving one out unless the other wants to. It takes a while for Regulus to want another drink, even though Barty offers to get him one, Regulus decides to go himself.
On the way there, a girl stops him and does her best to talk to him, insinuating more than just a good talk, more like a good time. And she is pretty, but he turns her down and the girl only huffs and goes away.
He looks for a bartender but apparently they are nowhere to be seen and the others are busy making other people’s drinks. Regulus sighs and waits until the bartender appears.
“So sorry, what can I get you?” he asks.
“Cosmopolitan, please,” Regulus says and hums the song that is on. He actually doesn’t know it, but he tries his best to sing it along.
When he gets his drink he goes back to the table they were at, Barty and Evan are not there nor the dancefloor, but it’s okay, he knows the drill. He starts swaying, feeling the music. He is not drunk yet, but he is not sober either. Regulus hates to admit it but he is having a good time just feeling the music take control of his body. Suddenly he feels observed, like someone is watching him, it’s unnerving. He starts looking around, hoping to see one of his friends, but there is no one on the sides he knows, he turns to the front and he sees James.
Wait.
James?
He is a little ashamed of the double take he does, but he can’t help it. So many times he has wished to run into that man just for him to be in the club that night and looking directly at him. James is not looking away, almost afraid of looking at any other place and it is making Regulus really nervous. He says something to the girl next to him, who just happens to be ginger like Lily -or maybe it is Lily, but just like James he isn’t daring to look away from the man-.
It is when James starts walking towards him that he panics. Yes, he wants to see and talk with him again, but he just panics. They haven’t seen each other in years, there could be a lot of negative outcomes if they are face to face again. What if he is mad that he never told him his name? Or worse, what if he found out his name? Which, it’d be weird and a bit creepy because of how much time and effort he would have put in just to know his name. So he chooses to go to the loo, but his luck had other plans, making a long line just to get into the loo. James takes advantage of it and stands right in front of Regulus, he looks like he forgot how to talk.
“Too stunned to speak?” Regulus teases, without showing how drunk, nervous and excited he really is.
“Something like that, yeah,” he grins. He fucking grins. It makes Regulus so mad, like, has anyone told this man the power his grin has? He remembers that grin a little too much, he spent months comparing the grins on other peoples’ faces and realising they aren’t as attractive as James’.
“Hello, James,” is all he can say. What else can he say? Time has passed on, but James is still pretty, so handsome. His hair is a bit longer than he remembers and he feels kind of stupid to compare it to his memories, because he is well aware of the time that has passed. And yet he feels like they spent a whole night talking as if it was just last week.
“Hello, star,” James replies. Regulus might just die there. So James doesn’t know his name yet, but Regulus considers changing his name to Star just so James can keep calling him like that. “How nice is seeing you here, a bit far from France, isn’t it?”
“Not that far away,” Regulus says. “I wouldn’t dare to be so far from that place,” he admits and just like that one time, he feels compelled to tell him anything.
“Then what are you doing here and not home?”
“I don’t live there anymore. So much has changed in these last years, James,” he informs him, stating the obvious. Regulus makes a quick list of all the things that have changed. Starting strong with the fact that he lives now in London and that he is now in a band about to go on tour with people he doesn’t know.
“Indeed it has. So, you live here now?”
“Yes, I do. Still with my two idiots best friends,” Regulus answers, meaning every word, his best friends are two idiots that left him alone for two seconds and now he is talking to James. “Actually, they are somewhere around here, lost them a while ago,” he starts looking around, looking for Evan and Barty, he only sees Barty who is now snogging another bloke.
“I’m here with my friends as well,” James says, making Regulus turn to look at him. The way he said it made Regulus want to laugh, he is so cute.
“Your bandmates?” he asks once he processed what James said.
“Yes,” he smiles. “And other friends as well.”
They end up having a brief conversation, not even realising that they are shouting to hear the other, it is completely effortless. James smiles a lot while hearing how Barty and Evan (Barty more than Evan) forced him to come. He is about to tell him the reason why he came but he doesn’t, he is not about to tell James that he is looking for someone to go get laid with. And well, he found someone. He is looking at him right now. The only person that he has been interested in all night long and is willing to get out with.
“This may seem odd, but,” Regulus starts saying, looking into his eyes, not breaking eye contact. “Do you want to get out of here?” he asks and he is praying that he agrees because if not that would be really embarrassing.
“Yes,” James answers and Regulus doubts he even considered saying no, he just agreed without thinking. “I just have to let my friends know,” James touches his chin and it is more than the touch itself, it’s the way that he does it, so quick but the touch burns him. In a good way. So good. “Be right back, love,” love. Love. Love. Regulus feels like he ain’t going to survive this, and he is okay with that, what a lovely way to go.
“I’ll see you on the exit,” he leaves before James says anything, eager to get out and get some air, air that was just stolen from him with just a touch and a word.
A part of him is telling him to go home, rest and be fresh for what tomorrow has to come, but the other part, the one winning, tells him to wait for the man that is inside. Regulus has no clue if this is going to happen again or if this is just like a goodbye kind of thing. If life is allowing them to meet again to never see each other again. He is not going to let this opportunity go. He closes his eyes and inhales deeply, trying to calm the adrenaline that he is starting to feel. When he exhales he opens his eyes and James is looking at him, curious and amused.
“Shall we?” he hears James say.
“Let’s go, James.”
But they don’t move, they just stare at each other.
“I don’t want to rush you or anything, but we should get going,” he whispers, he can hear him better now that they are outside and the look on his face is apologetic. Regulus doesn’t get why they should rush, but then he hears a couple of girls whispering asking one to the other if that is James Potter and he remembers, James is a famous person. Even when he met him, he was already starting to be famous, maybe now he really is.
“Yes, it’s okay,” Regulus assures him but James has the same look on his face. He turns to look at the girls and he can see how they have their phone out, maybe trying to take some picture of him. He takes a step aways from James, just in case. James seems to notice and frowns a little. No, no, no, why is he frowning? Smile, smile, smile, Regulus thinks and gets closer to him again. It works. He has a tiny smile on his lips and Regulus feels like he just won an award or something.
They walk in silence, embracing the fact that they are next to each other. Regulus starts to wonder if the night they met had as much impact on James as it did to him. Since then he has trouble connecting with other people as fast as he did with him, although he did have a previous relationship he would rather erase from his mind, he never felt as genuine as he did with a stranger he met in a coffee shop. In any case, he is here right now, next to James. The James he felt he was never going to see again, even when he wished he would.
“Uhm,” James breaks the silence. “Sorry, star, but where are we going exactly?”
Regulus hadn’t thought about it, he just started walking alongside James, if he is honest he was following him.
“I was following you,” he says and frowns.
“Oh, I was following you,” James laughs. If James’ grin had power, his laugh is even more powerful. At least on Regulus, although he suspects he isn’t the only one he has that kind of power over.
Regulus starts looking around to locate where they are and they only walked a couple of blocks, so they are not that far from his place. They could go there as Barty and Evan probably won’t be home for a while.
“We are not that far from my place,” Regulus says, turning to see James who was looking around as he was. “We could go there,” James hums.
“Again to your place, I like it. Not breaking the tradition,” he teases and Regulus rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
They continue walking, but this time, James starts asking him questions, like what was he drinking moments ago, or if he went with someone other than his two best friends, or if he wasn’t hot in the club while wearing a jacket all the time, things like that. Regulus answered every single one of them.
When they arrived he searched for his keys on the pocket of his jacket and when he was about to open the door he felt like having a deja vu. The same man next to him waiting patiently for him to open the door of his apartment, he felt like he was twenty again.
“Fucking deja vu I just had,” James says when he lets him in.
“I was just thinking the same,” Regulus says.
“I don’t know why I was waiting to see the same things in the same exact place as your apartment in France,” James looks around, walking as if the place belongs to him.
“Things have changed in three years, James,” he says again, a reminder for James and for himself.
“I know, but it hasn’t,” is all he says, he doesn’t elaborate any longer. And he doesn’t need to, Regulus gets it. Because he still feels the excitement of having someone as pretty as James over, he still feels nervous like the last time.
They made themselves comfortable on the couch, the way home made Regulus sober up, not entirely, but he felt less drunk now.
“Why did you move to London?” James asks.
“We decided it was for the best, one of my friends and I are from here, while the other is French,” he explains. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to avoid saying names, like if they were his little secret, trying to keep them for himself. “We needed a change, a new start,” Regulus shrugs. “I was reluctant to come back, but here I am, here I’ve been for quite a while now.”
“And yet, we just ran into each other tonight,” James says. “I also live here,” he explains. “I can’t believe you were so close all this time,” there is a light in his eyes and Regulus can’t keep looking at him, the way James is watching him makes him feel like staring straight to the sun, and just like with the sun, he can’t look long enough.
“Yeah,” is all he says, all he can say. “I’d have thought you were in the move a lot, you know, for your work.”
“Not a lot of the time,” James says. “I mean, normally only when we are on tour or have to promote a new song or album, but other than that, no. I pretty much like staying in one place, you know? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love to travel, but sometimes I can’t even explore the city, at least not anymore,” he explains and he sounds sad, even a little tired. Regulus doesn’t get to say anything more before he starts talking again. “I miss my parents all the time and now I only see them every third month, if we are not on tour,” he sighs and messes with his hair before dropping his hand again. “Or doing nothing with my friends, just staying at home, asking for a pizza and playing video games.”
Suddenly, Regulus doesn’t want to go on this tour with Evan and Barty, he wants to stay home with them, making sure nothing will happen to them.
“Do you regret it?” Regulus asks, he needs to know. James thinks about it for a couple of minutes.
“No, I don’t,” he sighs again. “I mean, it consumes a lot of energy, but I’m doing it with my best friends, I wouldn’t change that,” he explains, but it doesn’t stop there. “Besides, the fans are just something no one can give me, you know? I mean, the connection we have with them is… it is something, let me tell you,” he smiles a bit, maybe remembering them. “They are incredible, I just know, at least I wouldn’t be anywhere without them.”
“Would you say you love them?” Regulus asks, the way he is talking about them sounds like he loves them or at least something close to love. James chuckles.
“Absolutely,” he doesn’t even hesitate. Regulus just looks at him. “Don’t look at me like I am crazy, I mean, I kinda am. But not because I love them. Just picture it this way, we make music, we write the songs, sing them and sometimes even produce it. But what would it matter if there wasn’t anyone to buy it, listen to it and sing it back? No one to feel it with us?”
It is amazing the way he talks about them, he sounds so grateful to have them. If he’s being honest he would have never thought any artist would give so much recognition to their fans as James is. Regulus is completely mesmerised.
He has been since he met James. Since he was a growing artist.
“You are crazy,” Regulus says and James just laughs.
“Yeah, I guess I am, but I know as a fact my friends feel the same way as I do, at least I am not crazy alone.”
They stay in silence for a couple of seconds and Regulus has to keep asking questions, preparing himself for what tomorrow may bring him and change his life. And not just his, but also Evan and Barty’s. Individually and as friends.
“Are you more famous than before?” James shifts awkwardly in his place once he has made the question.
“Uhm, yeah,” he scratches the back of his head.
“I apologise if I made you uncomfortable,” Regulus apologises, sincerely.
“Don’t worry, it’s just that I’ve never made peace with the term ‘famous’. I don’t feel like I am, even though I know I am, deep down and even on the surface I am a regular twenty four year old man,” James says and Regulus only can process the fact that James is just a year older than him, he doesn’t know why he feels like it is vital information he should treasure. “And yet, I do take advantage of my position in this world, I do buy expensive things and accept special treatment. Isn’t that hypocrite?” he scoffs.
“I wouldn’t say hypocrite,” Regulus says, because he can’t see James as someone hypocrite, he may not know the man that much, but he doesn’t strike him as that.
“What would you say it is?” James asks sharply, he isn’t mad or angry, but he definitely isn’t happy.
“You are human, a human that has worked his way to where he is now,” Regulus says and James’ face softens. “You are not bad for enjoying what your job gives you, James,” he states and rolls his eyes. His phone vibrates at that moment and he reaches his pocket to take it out. It’s from Barty.
you better b fully clothed, ev and i r going back home
now who ditched who >:(
Regulus shakes his head and replies.
it was my turn, and as it is my turn you are NOT allowed to come home
It doesn’t take long for Barty to reply: NOT ALLOWED? YOU REALLY ARE WITH SOMEONE???????
Regulus doesn’t bother answering Barty, instead he sends Evan a message: if you are coming home you better not make a single fucking sound.
Evan only replies with a thumbs up emoji and it is more than enough for Regulus to know it is going to be okay, he trusts Evan can take care of Barty. He looks up from his phone and James is watching him.
“Is everything alright?”
“Yeah,” he sighs. “Just my stupid friends,” he says. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Actually, yes, water would be fine,” James says and gets up at the same time Regulus does, then he follows him to the kitchen. “This really gives me deja vu, it is creepy,” he says and Regulus nods, agreeing.
“I know,” he says and takes a dry glass that was with the clean dishes next to the sink, he pours some water and gives it to James.
“Thanks,” James smiles politely and starts drinking a sip. Regulus turns around and reaches to the shelf on the top, feeling his jacket pulling up, letting the cold hit his waist and the chain getting colder. Distantly, he hears James choke with the water and coughing, trying to breathe again.
“Holy shit, are you alright?” Regulus turns to see him, he didn’t even get to grab his glass.
James, still coughing, just nods with his head.
“Oh,” he says once he stopped coughing. “That was embarrassing, but,” he inhales. “Are you wearing a chain around your waist?” he exhales.
Regulus, confused, looks down to see his chain, it goes around his neck then drops to go around his waist.
“Yes,” he answers and it is the blush in James’ cheeks that make him aware of the situation. “That’s- that’s why you almost choke?” he asks and James blushes more. Regulus looks at him, just looks at him.
“Don’t look at me like that,” James says, almost ordering him.
“Like what?”
“Like you don’t know you are beautiful,” he says as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. Like it is a known thing for everyone. General culture, that is. As if you didn’t know that Regulus is beautiful then you are dumb or even stupid. “Stop looking at me like that. You are, star!”
Star.
“How come you haven’t asked me my name?” Regulus asks instead of facing the fact that James is calling him beautiful.
“I just figured you’ll tell me when you want to tell me,” he answers, then he smiles. “Believe me it is not that I don’t want to know your name, because I really do. But I’ll wait for you to tell me,” he says, so simple and easy. He makes everything look easy.
“And if I never do?”
“That’ll be a shame, but you’ll always be the most beautiful star I’ve ever seen,” and that, that is flirting isn’t it? James is flirting with him. He is about to say something when he hears Barty’s laugh from outside of the door.
“It’s my friends, they are here, would you mind going to my room? It is the one all the way in the back,” he says and James stares at him and then nods to get going.
“You!!” Barty practically shouts. “You ditch us to get laid!” Regulus prays James isn’t hearing but he knows how loud Barty can be, so he obviously is listening.
“Keep your voice down, for fuck sakes, Barty.”
“You’re so mean sometimes,” Barty pouts but still lowers his voice.
“Hey, Reg, are they here?” Evan asks behind Barty, he is trying his best not letting Barty go away or fall, maybe both.
“Yeah, he is in my room, will you keep him quiet?” he asks. Evan raises his eyebrow.
“Will you?” he asks back and Regulus knows he blushes, he can feel his cheeks burn just by the thought of James being, well, loud. “Oh you really like this one,” Evan teases and laughs.
“Shut up,” Regulus barks. “Just keep him,” he looks at Barty. “Quiet,” Evan nods and Regulus turns to go to his room.
“Goodnight to you too!” Barty shouts and Regulus cringes when he opens the door and finds an amused James.
“So,” James starts saying, he is sitting on the edge of his bed. “We are going to get laid?” he is teasing him, the smirk on his lips gives it away, but still Regulus is cursing Barty.
“Shut up,” he tells him, just as he did with his friend.
“Hey, I’m not opposing,” he grins at him and stands up to be in front of Regulus. There is a height difference between them, it’s not a lot but it is there. Naturally, Regulus has to look up, and once he does he can see how close they really are. “You have lovely friends,” James whispers, but he hears him as clear as ever.
“They are idiots,” he replies almost instinctively. James laughs, not a noisy laugh, it is quiet.
“Maybe, but you love them,” he says as if it is a fact.
“They are my family,” Regulus confesses silently, something that he has never dared to say out loud, not even to them. Even when they deserve to know.
“I can tell,” James says and they look at each other’s eyes. James’ eyes are brown and Regulus swears there are golden flecks in there, shining even though he is not seeing something bright to make them light up.
“We should sit down,” Regulus says or asks, he is not sure.
“Do you want to sit down?” James asks and moves a strand of hair out of his face. At this moment it is not that he wants to sit down, it is that he can’t be standing up any longer.
“Yes,” he swallows.
“Alright, lets sit,” James says and moves so Regulus can sit first, then he sits next to him.
It is almost natural the way they start talking about anything that comes to their minds, as if they’ve known each other their whole lives, or as if they have been waiting for each other their whole lives. And as established before, he doesn’t believe in destiny, but this? They were supposed to find each other, even for just a night -or two-, it had to happen. They were supposed to happen.
He confirms it in the way James listens and the way Regulus doesn’t hold a thought back, the way they can talk about everything and not judge the other (even when it is incredibly difficult not to judge James when he tells him his favourite movie is Cars). It is the way James laughs when Regulus says something funny without even noticing that he did. In how they get closer to the other, not being able to be far from the other for long. After a while, somehow, James’ head is resting in Regulus’ thighs and Regulus’ back is resting on the wall that is next to his bed.
“You know, it is like life is mocking us,” James says all of the sudden, not even in relation to what they were talking about.
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I have to take a flight in the morning,” James says looking into his eyes, searching for something in them.
“Funny thing, so do I,” Regulus says.
“Really?” James sits straight up, no longer resting on Regulus. “Where are you going?”
He looks like a puppy waiting for his treat, he may as well be compared to a golden retriever.
“France, I believe,” Regulus says, he is almost sure that is what the calendar Pandora sent them said.
“Mmm, what a shame, I’m going to Basel,” he grimaces.
They fell silent after that, both thinking exactly the same: when are they going to see each other again? Both are eager to see each other again. Both missing the other again. Even when they haven’t said goodbye… again. This right here, this is the reason why he prefers to not believe in fate, because it is uncertain, he has no say in what will happen once James leaves his apartment.
“Star…” Regulus is still considering changing his name to that, it sounds so good from James’ mouth, the way he says it as if Regulus owns it. “Would you let me kiss you?” He remembers how James asked last time, he remembers what he felt when he did, like all his dreams have come true or like if he stopped breathing but at the same time he is breathing for the first time. He remembers even more now, because he is feeling it all over again. This time, Regulus can’t find his voice, he just nods and the next thing he knows is James’ lips on his.
How will he ever be able to say goodbye to this?
He can and will absolutely thank his destiny for Evan and Barty, for making him go to that stupid club, because now, he is getting to know how the sun tastes. Warm and hot, strong and powerful. This time, they don’t have anyone waiting for them, they don’t have any pressure to go and turn away from each other, so they just don’t. They are unable to get apart, even when breathing is necessary, they feel like they can breathe through the other.
Just like everything else, it is meant to be. It is lovely the way James touches him, he can’t get enough of him but he is still careful to not break him (although, Regulus wouldn’t mind if he did). And Regulus can’t get enough of the way James is looking at him all the way till the end. It is obscene, but lovely.
And he was right to blush before when he thought of James being loud. He is loud.
It is a battle they have, competing with their clothes, with their mouths, not even knowing they are competing with each other. The prize is unsure, but they are willing to win. Enjoying every bit of the contest, enjoying what the prize is. Wanting to feel like winners all over again.
They eventually fall asleep, James knowingly sets an alarm to wake them up at seven o’clock. Regulus is way too tired to even acknowledge the fact that tomorrow (today, it is four in the morning) he goes on tour. He lets himself be held by James, overwhelmed by the warmth James transmits him.
When they wake up, James reaches for his phone to turn the alarm off, but he goes back to cuddle Regulus, attempting to fall back asleep.
“James,” he whispers.
“No,” is what he says in return.
“Yes, cherie, we have to be at the airport,” he reminds him, gently. James pouts with his eyes closed, oh that is unfair. “Let's get up,” he tries to get up but James just pulls him back to him. “James. Up. Now.”
“Now,” James opens his eyes and looks at him. “If you talk to me like that I won’t be leaving this bed anytime soon,” he smirks. “And neither will you.”
Regulus considers it. Really consider it. Even though they went for it like three times just hours before, he knows that with James he can and will go for a fourth time, but he has to start getting ready for today.
“I do want to, but it is going to be late, James,” he says softly and strokes his hair, James closes his eyes to the touch.
“I know,” he sighs and opens his eyes. “You are so beautiful,” he whispers and Regulus' heart stops a bit, remembering all the times James said it during the night.
He lets Regulus get up and he does the same thing, looking for their clothes in a silence that with others would be embarrassing. It is comfortable with James, even funny when James can’t find his sock and has to look under Regulus’ bed. They share a couple of more kisses, James definitely steals more than a couple. In less than half an hour, they are about to say their second goodbye.
“You won’t tell me, will you?” James asks before he goes. Regulus shakes his head.
“No, sorry,” he says.
“May I ask why?”
“It’s just,” he takes a deep breath before he explains. “It’s not that I don’t want you to know my name. I feel like if I don’t tell you, life will keep making us get back together until I do tell you. And I want to see you again,” he knows how silly it sounds, but he feels deep down that it will only work that way. He feels like he is taking control of his own destiny.
“Sounds good to me,” James says and leans to give him another kiss, it is deep and slow, it makes Regulus shiver. “Can’t wait to see you again, my beautiful star,” is the last thing James says before he leaves the apartment.
Regulus closes the door and stares at it, asking himself if he made a good choice or not. God knows when or if they will see each other again, but he has never wished for something so bad as he is wishing to see James again.
“Oh, you are down bad for him, aren’t you?” Evan asks him and Regulus flinches because he didn’t hear him at all.
“Merde, you almost gave me a heart attack,” he puts a hand on his chest.
“Would be doing the world a favour,” Evan teases. “A pity I wasn’t successful,” he fake sighs. “J'ai raison, n'est-ce pas?”
“Oui,” he sighs for real, turning to look at the door again. “Let's get ready, we have things to do,” he shakes his head like trying to shake the feeling out.
It is useless though, he knows the feeling will follow him until he sees the sun again.