Affirmations of love unspoken
List of things no one should ever do: number one, never, no matter how tempted you are, no matter if you feel invincible, but never try to drink as much as Remus Lupin does. Even when you think you can win, you will lose. End of the list.
That is a list that Sirius always repeats to themselves every time he tries to win Remus, a list he has memorised and had others memorise it as well, it is a risky game, one that no one has been able to win. He just thought yesterday was a good night to beat him and that was his mistake, because this morning their head is hurting like it never has before. Of course he groans when he hears the alarm on his phone.
“Fucking shut up,” he screams in a whisper and puts a pillow over their head.
“You know, you could turn it off so it shuts,” they hear him say. And as every time he hears that voice, they are drawn to it, taking the pillow off his face and looking for him.
And oh, he found him, his wet hair tells them that he just had a shower, he is wearing grey sweatpants and a white hoodie and Sirius just loves the view. Isn’t he so perfect? Years have passed and Sirius still feels like a teenager in love.
Remus walks to where the phone is to turn off the alarm and Sirius follows him with his eyes. Then he sits on the edge of the bed and Sirius moves a little so he can sit comfortably.
“Good morning,” Remus tells him, putting their hair to the side, then leans to give him a little kiss on the lips. “How are you feeling?”
“My head hurts so much,” Sirius says and closes their eyes, Remus strokes his cheek so gently and chuckles.
“I figured, that’s why I didn’t set an alarm to shower, knew it would hurt,” he shrugs. “Also, I didn't want to wake you,” he says and gets up. Sirius automatically pouts. “Don’t pout, Sirius, I’m looking for an aspirin for your head,” Sirius is surprised, because Remus wasn’t even looking at them. He did come back with the pill and there was a glass of water already on the night table, they took it without hesitating. “Did you sleep alright?”
“Yeah, can’t even remember falling asleep or even getting to bed,” they say and start looking around.
“Ours,” Remus helps him, knowing what Sirius was looking for. He knows they all left to the club from the place the four of them share, but he also has a place for just Remus and him. “I didn’t know if James took ‘his star’ there, so I took you here. Pete is also here, he slept on the couch,” he explains and Sirius swears he has no recall of anything like that happening. He groans again. What was he thinking about getting that drunk before the first show of the tour?
“I should take a shower, what time is it, Moony?”
“Around seven,” he says. Sirius nods and attempts to get up but completely fails. “What time do we have to be at the airport?”
“Nine,” Sirius hums, then looks at Remus.
“Wanna cuddle fifteen minutes before I get ready?”
Of course they cuddle for fifteen minutes (no more, because Remus set the chronometer to sound when the fifteen minutes were up). Being held by Remus is one of the best experiences they have ever had. It blows their mind how it is a feeling that never gets old. He has known Remus the same amount of time that he has known Peter and James, but in some twisted and magical way, they feel like he has known him since he was on this Earth, just waiting for them to collapse. And they collapsed at the age of eleven, when they went to Hogwarts, he never thought he would meet the love of their life at such a young age, although he didn’t know Remus was the love of his life back then. It took them about six more years to get together, to accept and embrace the fact that their love wasn’t only friendly, it was more, way more, always more. To this day, he feels more every time he is near Remus.
Getting together was a process, for the both of them, Sirius refused to acknowledge the fact that they could like a man the way he did with Remus. And Remus, well, he refused to accept the fact that he liked Sirius that way. Both of them were afraid of what it could mean to the other, but also what it meant to them.
And even so, getting together wasn’t the hardest part. Maintaining together was.
Once they signed with their label, they had rules to be followed, requirements if they wanted to work with them. At first, they were so excited to be signing with a label that they didn’t care that much about the differences of opinion, besides, when you are young you feel like you can do anything, you feel powerful, and in a way they were, but they weren’t as strong as they thought.
The label demanded that their relationship had to remain hidden, they aren’t allowed to show any romantic affection to the other, they can’t say that they are together or that they are even attracted to the other. Any sign of affection and they will be in big trouble. Their friends and family obviously know that they are together, but as for them, they aren’t allowed to say anything. He won’t lie, it is hard, one of the hardest parts of his job, if not the hardest. They will remember how it was to be public with Remus and sometimes he will tear up. It is times like this, when he is being held by the man he loves that he will wish they could stay that way forever.
“Are you okay, love?” Remus asks him and Sirius feels warm. He wasn’t big on pet names when he was younger, he didn’t like them at all, but when Remus calls him ‘love’ suddenly he is the biggest fan. More, more, more, always more with him.
“Yeah, Moony,” they nod but he knows Remus doesn’t believe him. “Just thinking about what we have to go through again, that’s all,” they sigh and try to get up, freeing himself from Remus’ arms.
“We can do it,” Remus assures him, pulling them back to himself.
“Like last time?” they ask and he knows how unfair it is.
Last time they were on tour they didn’t make it, they broke up. It was ugly, he had never fought with Remus the way they did that night, a part of him that he thought they had buried resurfaced that night. All of his flaws reflected on his words and actions. It had become a lot to handle for them that time, with them being growing artists that had never done a tour, being recognised in public and little by little losing their privacy and with that, them having to hide more. They weren’t strong enough back then. About halfway through the tour, they broke up and ended the tour the same way. It was hard being so close to Remus and not being able to fall apart because they had a show or interviews.
Eventually they found their way back to each other, they always do. But that doesn’t mean it was an easy thing to do. In any case, it helped with writing new songs, they had motivation and a lot to say.
“This time it won’t be like that and you know it,” Remus says and Sirius does know it.
And yet he can’t help but feel scared.
“I love you so much, ma lune,” Sirius whispers and they can feel Remus holding him closer.
“Love you too, my love.”
When the time is up, Sirius has to get up and uses everything in their power to find the motivation of leaving Remus’ arms. He takes a quick shower and then stares at their reflection for way too long before shaking his head and getting ready for what the day has prepared for them. He takes his phone that was next to the sink and sees that James left them a message saying that he was on his way to the airport and he couldn’t wait to tell him how it went with his ‘star’. Sirius sends him a message saying that he wants all the details and they are about to leave soon too. When he leaves the phone down again, he sees something shiny next to it.
“You almost forgot it,” they say when they enter the room again and Remus looks at him funny, then he sees what Sirius has in their hand and opens his eyes.
“Shit,” he says and gives him a little kiss. “Thank you, Pads. I’d have killed myself if I left it the whole tour,” he says, smiling and puts the ring on his finger. Sirius loves how that ring looks on Remus.
He likes how everything looks on Remus.
And off too.
There is a soft knock on the door and they both turn to see it, then it opens and Peter is there, sunglasses on.
“We should get going, guys,” he almost whispers, which makes Remus and Sirius laugh. Peter grimaces. “Shut up .”
They do get going, Remus made sure the night before that their suitcases were taken by their team so they wouldn’t have to worry about it in the morning, and as per usual, he was right. The ride was quiet, Sirius made sure to play calm songs for Peter’s sake. They have always enjoyed when Remus drives, he will always humm to whatever song Sirius plays and always hold his hand, maybe not all the ride, but he will always find a way to be touching them. Besides, Sirius hates to drive cars, it is a fact they all have known for years now; he knows how to, but he despises it. It is way too stressful to wait in traffic or the mean drivers that won't let you pass. Nope. They hate it. That’s why they have James or Remus, sometimes Peter, to drive them around.
When they arrive at the airport, they already have a security team waiting for them. It is something he will never get used to, being followed around and having absolutely no personal space whatsoever. Even so, he is thankful, fans can be a little too touchy sometimes. Don’t get them wrong, he loves their fans, but he doesn’t love being touched most of the time, he has to touch first to know they want to be touched.
Their flight is still an hour away, but they have to wait for the girls and James. Pandora is already at the lounge assigned to them, looking stunning and fresh, unlike Sirius and Peter (more Peter if they’re being honest).
“Well, if you don’t look like shit,” it’s the way she greets them. And, okay. Valid.
“Feel like too,” Peter says and waits no other second to go sit down and get comfortable.
“You partied a lot, huh?” She looks at Remus and opens her arms to give him a hug. “Happy birthday, my love.”
“Thanks, Pandora,” he says, hugging her back.
Sirius has a lot of internal and external issues with their management, but Pandora? They fucking adore Pandora. She is their manager, but she has also become part of their little family. She isn’t a lot older than them, only two years older than Sirius. He remembers when they met her, she was new at her job, but there wasn’t any doubt in their mind that she was damn capable of getting shit done. She can be a little scary at times, but that only makes Sirius admire her most, if anything, they are where they are because of her.
“Where is your other half?” she asks them.
“James said he was on his way before we left, so he shouldn’t take long,” Sirius tells her and she nods.
“Why wasn’t he with you?”
“I think we should wait for him to tell you, it is big news. We are waiting for details,” they say and the thing is, whenever he talks about James, there is a proud tone. Proud to show him off. Proud of him. Proud to have him in his life. Proud of everything that James is and does.
James arrives five minutes after they did. He has a dreamy smile on his face and Sirius can already tell that everything went amazing with this boy of his.
James hugs Sirius first, as he always does. It is not even on purpose at this point, it is just how it is. And Sirius knows that because they do the same whenever James is in a room and they enter.
“Hi, Pads,” James says when they break the hug.
“Hey, Prongs. Good night?” that makes him smile even more, as if it was possible.
“The best,” he informs him. Then goes to hug Remus. “Hi, Moony.”
“God, you are smiling so much it is freaking me out and that is saying a lot because you are always smiling,” Remus says and his face tells them he is genuinely scared of James’ happiness. James just chuckles.
“Hello, my beautiful Pandora,” ah yes, the flirt. James and Sirius had always had a bond with Pandora like that, they would tease her endlessly and she would act all annoyed, but she always gives in.
“You are in a good mood, may I ask why?”
“You entirely may,” he says. “I just so happened to find my star last night,” he smug. Pandora squeals and Peter groans.
“No way!”
That’s why Sirius says that she is part of the little family they’ve created. Even though she yelled at James for twenty minutes the night he met his star, she asked him about it afterwards. She even helped him to find him (without much success). But she always does things for them without hesitation. If Sirius were to count the number of times she has risked her job for him, they would not finish today as Sirius was a bit of a troublemaker when they were beginning this whole thing, adding the fact that they had to hide the thing that makes him the happiest in the world. Of course they were quite a rebel back in the day.
“What is going on? I heard Pandora all the way from the end of the hall,” Marlene says while entering the room, Mary and Lily following her.
“How come you three look good after last night?” Peter says from his place and pouts. “That is not fair, Mary drank more than I did!”
The girls do look good. They all have sweat pants; Lily is wearing a tank top with a jacket on and her long hair on a side braid, Marlene has a hoodie on and her blonde hair is on a messy bun while Mary is wearing a set piece, her pants matching her cropped hoodie and unlike the other girls, her hair is as free as it can get.
“Sorry, Pete, we are just better,” Mary shrugs and they all agree.
“I was telling Pandora here, that I found the star,” James announces, proudly. Sirius nods as if it was their achievement too.
“Wait,” Lily says. “ The star?”
“Like, the French star?” Marlene asks.
James nods enthusiastically.
“Oh shit, I guess dreams do come true,” Mary says and Sirius stares at her, as if they weren’t two famous bands about to go on their second tour.
“I’ll tell you everything on the plane,” James turns to see Pandora who is next to him. “You are coming with us, right?”
“Ugh, I wish, my loves,” she says looking at the rest. “I have to wait for the other band to arrive, as they are going to be on another flight than you. I’d rather go with them because they are new at this,” she explains. “You remember the first time I left you to take a flight alone,” she rolls her eyes.
Ah, they remember.
They almost didn’t make it to their show. It was fun.
It wasn’t fun when Pandora found out.
“But you can tell the rest, I’ll find you when we land there so you can tell me everything,” she squeezes James’ arm and scrunches her nose with a smile. “Meanwhile, your flight must be ready to board in a few minutes,” this is her in her job mood. She turns to Peter and then looks at them. “Someone finds this poor man an aspirin,” and she leaves them alone. Probably to look for the other band.
Once they are at their plane (because yes, it is a private plane, perks of being a known band and all), he sits next to Remus and James takes place in the seat in front of them and looks at Sirius with a smile that reminds them of when they were twelve and did their first prank or the first time they asked Effie if they could stay over.
“Messer Prongs, would you be so kind as to tell us how yesterday night was so favourable to you?” Sirius says with a posh accent.
“Why, of course, Messer Padfoot! Only because you ask so kindly,” he puts a hand on his chest with fake flattery.
“You two are ridiculous,” Marlene rolls her eyes but has a smile that gives away the fact that she loves them.
“Yet, you still love us, Marls,” Sirius flashes her a smile.
“Unfortunately,” she sighs.
James starts telling them about the boy. He talks about him like he is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and the way he tells them about him, Sirius might as well believe that he is. Sirius has seen James like this before, mesmerised. It was when he was starting to like and properly fall in love with Lily, they remember staying up all night just to hear all about James’ feelings. After they broke up, Sirius swore they were never going to see James like that again and yet, here they are. Hearing his best friend talk about a man -a stranger- he has only met twice in his life.
“And did he tell you his name this time?” Peter interrupts James and James’ flatters a bit.
“He didn’t,” Sirius says, displeased. “Why wouldn’t he give you his name?”
“You still don’t know his name!?” Mary asks, shocked.
“Well, no,” James scratches the back of his head.
“Was it the man that you went to while we were dancing?” Lily asks and tilts her head a bit, searching for an answer.
“Yeah-”
“Oh shit!” she exclaims and all looks are on her. Even poor Peter sits straight to watch her. “I think I know who he is!”
“Well, then? Tell us his name!” Sirius pleads.
“No!”
They all turn to look at James now.
“No,” he says softer this time. “It’s just, there is a reason he didn’t tell me, alright? And it was actually quite lovely,” he blushes a little. Everybody looks at him expectantly. James sighs. “He said that maybe if he didn’t give me his name, life would keep making us find each other.”
“And you can’t do that with his phone number… how?” Remus says. James sinks in his seat and blushes. “Prongs… You did ask him for his number, right?” Silence.
“Oh, James,” Mary says, her tone between pity and amusement.
“I was distracted .”
“Yeah, I bet,” Sirius laughs at him and everybody laughs.
James keeps telling their friends about the man and Sirius can almost see stars in his eyes. It is relaxing seeing his best friend like that. They haven’t seen it in a while and that breaks their heart sometimes. He gets comfortable next to Remus and as always, Remus pulls him closer as if it was instinct. Remus’ arm is around his shoulder and Sirius is resting his back on his chest, holding the hand that is hanging in their shoulder, playing with his ring. He squeezes his hand twice to get his attention and they get it.
“Mmm?”
“Do you-” he whispers so only Remus can hear. “Do you think if James were to get together with this man, they would ask him the same as with us?” they don’t say it, but he knows Remus gets it. To hide .
“Probably,” Remus says softly, and it is not the answer he was expecting, because he would never wish this on anyone, let alone his best friend. “I…” he thinks. “I think there are more couples like us in the world, Pads. It isn’t fair, but as long as I have you, I can do it,” Remus looks into their eyes and Sirius looks back, there is something so pure about just looking into the eyes of the person you love. A window to their soul. To their love. Free of insecurities. Affirmations of love unspoken.
“I love you so much, Remus Lupin,” they whisper.
“I love you even more, Sirius Black,” Remus whispers back and gives them a kiss on their forehead.
Home.
If he had to give Remus a word, it’d be home. Where he is safe, loved and happy. Home.
Their flight to Basel isn’t long and as soon as they arrive they go to their hotel. They have to wait for Pandora and the new band to get there. They are going to see them at the venue for soundcheck so they have a couple of hours free. Remus and Sirius each have a room registered for them, as well as Peter, James and the girls. But in reality, it is just for appearances, Remus and Sirius had been sleeping in the same bed for years now, even sometimes, James and Peter would crash in their room.
When they get to Sirius’ room, their baggage is already there, which they are thankful for because he hates to stay in his airport clothes. He feels dirty and prefers to feel clean, thank you very much. Remus however, has to go to his room for his things and bring them here.
They have free time and yet, they fall asleep. Too tired to think about doing anything. James, however, doesn’t think the same because he is banging the door.
“Moony, Padfoot, we have to go!”
“Prongs,” Remus screams high enough for him to hear. “We don’t have to leave for another hour.”
“Moony… Pandora is already at the venue,” James enlightens them and they look at each other before getting up and grabbing everything they can. Sirius checks on his phone, and it is in fact late. Those couple of hours? Gone. They slept all the way.
At times like this, he is grateful they have a stylist, because he doesn’t have to worry about what to wear or anything like that. Most of their shows they try to get ready for themself but days like this he lets Emmeline dress him up and do their make up.
They all leave their hotel on two vans, one for the girls and the other for them, which they ignore completely, because Sirius and Peter choose to go with Lily, while James and Remus with Marlene and Mary.
“So, Evans…” Sirius breaks the silence once they are inside the car. Lily turns to see him and Sirius grinning. Peter also turns to see him, curious.
“Yes, Black?” She uses their last name, which he doesn’t mind as long as it comes from one of his friends’ mouths.
“You gotta tell me the name of James’ loverboy,” they demand, not even asking. He has to know right now.
“Oh my God! Thought you’d never ask!” she exclaims. “I’ve been dying to tell someone about it and the girls never asked. I’m not kidding this is a big one and I feel like I am going to explode if I don’t tell someone,” she talks fast as she moves her hands in sign of frustration.
“Well, tell us!” Peter says now invested in the conversation. If there is something Peter can never hold himself back from, it is for the gossip.
“So…” she starts saying and neither Sirius nor Peter dare to interrupt her. “First of all, you know we’ve been recording our next EP, right?” they both nod. “So we’ve been spending a lot of time at the Phoenix, but two weeks ago I had to re-record a part that was bothering me and I ran into Pandora,” she says and starts grinning, like the Cheshire cat. “And she was with these three handsome men, like I’m not even kidding, the three of them are so good looking,” she rambles and when she notices Sirius's exasperated look she goes back to her point. “But not the point,” she clears her throat. “Pandora introduced us and guess who are they? The second opening band! Like the one that won the contest!”
“Really? Oh my god,” Sirius was not ready for that turn of events. “You’ve met them and forgot to mention it? Lily, we spent a whole week at the Potter’s and you never thought to tell us?!”
“I was having so much fun it slipped my mind, besides, you know we don’t talk about our job when we are there,” she frowns. She is right, though, they made it a rule to maintain that house job-free, where they can be just friends in their twenties enjoying a happy life, no stress or anything, just them.
“Wait, you mean to tell us, James’ boy is in the band? They are going to be touring with us?” Peter asks the important question.
“If it is who I think he left with, then yes. And you are going to meet him soon. As soon as we get to the venue, soon,” she declares. “Oh my God, James is going to be so shocked if I’m right,” she says and laughs a little.
“You still haven’t told us his name,” Sirius says.
“I believe he was Evan. Yeah, I think his name is Evan,” she says grimacing.
“You think?” silence. “Lily?” she groans.
“Look, I don’t remember the other two names, they were unusual to say the least. One may even be Barry or something like that. And the third one had a kind of long and weird name.”
“Oh, Lils,” Sirius laughs and so does Peter. “Hopefully he stays with the Evan guy, Barry sounds awful,” he shakes his head.
“Because Sirius is a completely normal name,” Peter rolls his eyes and that comment makes Lily laugh so much that when they arrive (they were three minutes to get there) she is still laughing. When they get out, the other van is parking next to them and Lily has tears in her eyes.
“What happened to her?” Remus says when he gets out of their van, helping Mary to get down while James is on the other side helping Marlene.
“She is laughing about my name,” they say.
“Oh, don’t be like that, it’s just, you don’t get to judge other’s names,” she shrugs and goes next to Mary.
They go to the backstage of the venue, where they are assigned a room to each one, but they most of the time just stay at one. One for The Marauders and one for WOM3N. Either way, they all have a room.
Sirius automatically walks next to James, when they are in public he can’t walk too close to Remus, that’s why they always choose to walk next to James. It makes them less itchy to be next to Remus and it helps being close to one of the people he loves the most.
“Oi! Evans!” they hear Peter, Lily and Marlene are walking a little more ahead of them. They all turn to see Peter. “I won the bet, didn’t I?”
“Oh, shoot, I forgot about that. But yeah, you won,” she rolls her eyes and starts looking through her purse, stopping to find the money and giving it to Peter once he passes next to her.
“Thank you, Lily. Always a pleasure doing business with you,” he says. Lily and Peter love doing bets, when they were at Hogwarts they had a taly to keep count. They all stopped counting around their last year of school.
The walk to the inside is the usual, two body guards behind them and one from security in front of them. They have never been in this exact venue but it isn’t as different as the rest of the one they have been. They stop walking when they hear the sound of drums and guitars in the distance, meaning that the new band is already rehearsing. Naturally, they are all curious to watch but that is when Emmeline appears in front of them.
“Oh no, you are not going there, we need to decide what y’all are going to wear and other stuff. Come, come!” she ushers them. Emmeline is like Pandora, part of their team and family, and bloody scary if she puts the effort on it. She started being their stylist on their first tour and since then, she has worked with them, for interviews, photoshoots and public events. She also works with WOM3N which makes her work double.
However, they still can hear the band doing their soundcheck, he swears he hears a lot of cursing and laughing in the distance. He hasn’t even seen the band but they oddly remind them of how they used to be when they were starting. Full of joy and hope. He feels nostalgic.
“You okay, Pads?” James asks. They nod and start listening to Emme who is asking if they want to be matching outfits at today’s show. The four of them have different styles, but Emmeline is a goddess at what she does, because she can always make them match without interfering with their personal styles. They agree on matching outfits and the next thing is deciding colours. He knows they are fortunate to have Emmeline on their team, he’s known cases where they don’t let the artists wear what they want.
After a while, Emme goes to Mary, Marlene and Lily’s room and probably starts asking the same things, with them she usually takes a while more, because they also have to choose between make-up and hair.
Eventually, there is a knock on their door and Pandora is on the other side of it. She looks exhausted but her smile is big and bright.
“I’m assuming the soundchek with them went well,” Remus says and Pandora nods.
“They are amazing, guys!” She almost shouts.
“Yeah, we heard,” Remus smiles and they nod.
“The girls are going to be the last to do the soundcheck and while you are doing it, The Sekans are going with Emme,” she says and starts ushering to the stage. Their things are already there and they take place. When they start playing the song they can hear fans screaming and singing along from the outside of the venue. It always blows his mind how they are already waiting outside, it is unbelievable in a good way. Having their support means so much to Sirius.
Half an hour later, they finish their soundcheck and it is the girls' turn. They chose to just play three songs as their whole soundcheck because they are starving, they all are, he doubts the others have eaten as well. They sit on the front row to watch their friends, screaming as if they were the fans (and in a way, they are). As with them, fans are also singing their songs. Sirius knows that sometimes people buy tickets not just to see them, but also because they want to see WOM3N.
When the girls get off the stage Pandora approximates with two men behind her. They both are taller than her, but that is because everybody is taller than Pandora. They are smiling, bright and big smiles. That is when it hits them, they are from the new band.
“Guys, meet Barty,” oh so it is Barty, not Barry , Sirius thinks and looks at Lily who also looks at him and then looks at Peter who wants to laugh.
Barty has dark hair, a little short from the sides but still long, he has a piercing on his left eyebrow and one hoop on the right side of his nose. He has long eyelashes, Sirius doesn’t know why that is important, but maybe because it makes his eyes stand out. He also has dimples on both of his cheeks when he smiles, his eyes are brown, almost dark.
“Nice to meet you, Barty,” James says politely, as always being the voice of the band.
“Likewise,” Barty nods.
“And this is Evan,” Pandora says, pointing to the other man. Sirius hesitantly turns to see Lily and she shakes her head. So, the last one is the only remaining suspect to be James’ star.
Evan has dark skin but his hair is a light brown, almost blonde. He has a sharp jawline but not as sharp as Barty’s. His smile is kinder as well as his eyes. He is taller than Barty by a few centimetres. And his eyebrows are thick.
“Nice to meet you as well, Evan,” James says but this time he looks at them confused but still smiling. He is trying to figure something out.
“The pleasure is mine,” Evan says and chuckles. “If I had known we’d be touring with The Marauders I would’ve thought it was a joke,” they laugh, because it is kind of a compliment, they are big but still unreal that those kinds of comments are directed to them.
“Sorry, but, have we met before?” James asks them and they stop laughing.
“No, man, I would’ve known if I met you before,” Barty laughs. “But it is nice to meet you properly, you know. Maybe you know…” he doesn’t get to finish because a new man is coming towards them and the air on Sirius’ lungs is suddenly not there.
That is a face he would recognise everywhere -anywhere-, no matter the time, no matter the fucking universe, they would recognise him . It is the way that his hair is longer than ever before, his jawline is almost as sharp as theirs, but his eyes? No, his eyes are the fucking same. Those eyes haven’t properly landed on him when he starts speaking.
“Fucking assholes, couldn’t have waited for me, could you?” His voice is deeper. Evan clears his throat so he could finally turn to see the rest.
“This is…” Evan starts talking but he is interrupted…
“Star?”
… by James.
He turns to look at James and the shock in his face is all the answers they need to know that he is in fact James’ star. And Sirius doesn’t know how to take it.
“James,” his voice softens and Sirius feels sick.
“So you two do know each other,” Barty says and he is confused . “So you do know…” he is interrupted once again.
He is out of his body, he would say they feel like they are floating but that would be a lie. He feels like he is being asphyxiated.
“Sirius, are you alright?” Moony asks, of course Remus would be the one to notice that he is not fucking alright. Sirius doesn’t mean to ignore him, they are not even thinking if they are honest. But the attention is now on Sirius, his attention is now on him. And if he was surprised to see James it has nothing on how surprised he is when he sees them. He is completely pale, even more than usual. His eyes widened a bit. But as soon as it happens, he takes a deep breath and his factions go stiff. Frowning and holding his gaze. Defiant.
His brother is right in front of him, defying him to do something, but all Sirius can think is that their little brother is there, a few steps away from him. He is here and Sirius too. And yet he is not happy about it. How could he be? After almost ten years of not seeing him, after they yelled back and forth for hours. And yet he is happy. Because that is their little brother in front of him.
“ Reggie .”