Gawk Gawk Gawk Gawk Gawk
Harry was sat on his sofa when he heard a knock on the window.
What was it with people coming in through the window??!!
Harry realised the figure was covered in blood, so swung into action.
Harry opened the window and a red figure dropped into the room.
Harry stared.
The man was missing an arm, and was bleeding all over his nice new white rug.
"Oh my goodness. You need a doctor!!" Harry ran to grab his phone to call an ambulance.
A red glove grabbed his arm to stop him, and Harry looked down at the blood stained hand print left behind as the individual retracted their appendage when Harry aborted his movements to call an ambulance.
"You need medical attention!!" Harry went back to dialling 911 when the uninvited guest finally spoke.
"No need sweet cheeks. My arm is already growing back. Look!!"
Harry followed the- now identified man's voice to the little arm stub protruding from the ripped fabric.
This whole situation was weird, but at least he had stopped bleeding.
"Is this regular for you?" Harry asked as the man flounced over to sit on his white couch.
"Yep." The man said, popping the p loudly.
"Sorry." Harry was still very confused. "Who are you?"
"Who am I?" The man flopped backwards smearing more blood on Harry's furniture. "Who am I??!! You hear that? He asks who I am."
Harry jumped backwards as the man sat up and pushed his masked face right up against his own.
"I. Am Deadpool. Pooly, Deady. Whatever. That's me. Your friendly neighbourhood merc with a mouth!!" The now named Deadpool smiled at his unexpected host.
"Oh." Harry nodded slowly.
"Petey told me you lived around this area, soooooooo. I was passing by, and stalked you home from the shops earlier. I had a little something to do before I introduced myself, so I came after I sorted it out!!" Deadpool waved the ever growing stump in Harry's face to gesticulate as he spoke. Like I stalked you home was a normal everyday sentence. To him it probably was, Harry was coming to realise the man wasn't exactly sane.
"Right." Harry was edging backwards into his kitchen to grab something for self defence if needed, he wanted to use magic as little as possible.
"And so, I watched you all evening through the blinds- you should really put them up when it starts to get dark- until I saw you had a free moment!!" Deadpool continued.
Harry had reached the kitchen island, and opened his self defence drawer, also known as the knife drawer.
"Then, I went to get a bouquet of flowers becuase you should always bring something when you're a guest, and I dropped it becuase I had to use my good hand to climb up to your window, so sorry for that." Deadpool finally looked over at Harry's shaking body in the corner of his kitchen.
"But you needn't worry about that. Petey said he'd made a knew friend, so I just had to meet you. Petey doesn't do new friends very often, so I have to vet them see. Because, no-one is allowed to hurt my precious baby boy."
Harry had had it now. Calling Peter Spider-Man Parker precious, was preposterous. He was very kind, sure. Good heart, definitely. But precious like a soft sugar plum fairy in the nutckraker was pushing it.
"You need to get out of my house now." Harry stated firmly.
"But we were just getting aquainted!!" Deadpool leaped over the back of the couch to approach his impromptu host.
"No. You were stalking me, admitted it too!! Then, you entered my home after I kindly let you in because you were bleeding. You proceeded to bleed all over my living room, started your weird regenerating thingy and then continued to describe what an absolute creep you are, before objectifying my very lovely friend. Who, I bet you're stalking too."
Harry wasn't sure if Peter had told Deadpool he was Spider-Man, so he assumed that Deadpool knew Peter as Peter and he was a good friend, so he wasn't about to out him.
"I'm calling Tony Stark so he can protet Peter and then alerting the police that I have a stalker." Harry dashed around the mercenary to grab his phone, and Deadpool's reaching fingers missed him by a hair's width as he went. Harry grabbed his phone and quickly pressed dial- he was one of the few who had Tony Stark on speed dial, privalage Harry was sure.
"No!!" Deadpool's masked eyes widened comically. "Stark hates me hanging around his baby. Hang up now, or he'll cut my balls off!!"
Harry wasn't surprised by that statement, but was surprised by the merc jumping on him.
"GET OFF ME!!"" Harry squealed just as the phone connected.
Deadpool's heart plummeted into the bottom of his belly. He had to get the phone before Harry could alert the irritating father anymore.
Feeling slightly sorry for the teenager, Deadpool yanked his arm meaning to grab the phone, but winced horrified as he heard the spindly thing snap.
Harry.
Screamed.
Stark started yelling down the phone, and Deadpool knew he had done it now.
He had just meant to come and make sure Peter had made a good friend. Now, he'd gone and hurt him. He didn't hurt kids!! If there was any chance that Stark would have left this alone, it was gone now.
In the commotion, Harry had got his other arm free from where it had been pinned underneath the masked idiot's heavier body weight.
Deadpool gasped as he felt a sharp sting in his side. He looked down at the kitchen knife protruding from his abdomen.
"Ow." Deadpool pouted. "Was that really necessary?" He moaned, before pulling himself off the younger male.
"Is that Deadpool??!!" Stark shrieked down the phone when he heard the deep voice.
"I swear that I'm going to kill you, and find a way to keep you dead." Stark threatened.
Deadpool could hear the sound of thrusters, and knew the red and gold suit would probably arrive in a second, so the red clad man jumped out of Harry's window.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
This is a public service announcement.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
If I see Deadpool, I will turn him into the police.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
That is all.
SIIntern@PBP
What did he do??!!
HPB@GoldenBoy
stalked me all afternoon, invited himslf into my house, and then broke my arm after attcking me. he also admits to stalking you as well.
SIIntern@PBP
Oh. That sounds pretty incriminating actually.
Cupcakkesbojaina@Niagrafallsinthispoosayallday
Police?
SIIntern@PBP
That username!!!! I'm crying.
HPB@GoldenBoy
singing the national anthem i see.
Cupcakkesbojaina@Niagrafallsinthispoosayallday
@GoldenBoy Flop spotted??!!
HPB@GoldenBoy
i am. i have photo evidence of my Floptropican passport signed by President Deborah and i live in an appartment in gag city and i gawkk gawk gawk all day.
Cupcakkesbojaina@Niagrafallsinthispoosayallday
@Jiafei @Cupcakke @tightlikeabootyhole Harry is a Flop!!
forevertogetherforever@tightlikeabootyhole
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
forevertogetherforever@tightlikeabootyhole
@GoldenBoy We're so happy to have you!!
Iwannalickyourballs@Iwannaridethadick
@GoldenBoy Welcome to Floptropica. As Mayor of CVM Cuntry, I would love to extend an opportunity to support the refugees still incoming from the Da Boyz genocide. Please pledge an amount of FlopFlorins now that you are a verified Flop. Thank you.
HPB@GoldenBoy
i pledge two million FlopFlorins. Flop solidarity. all survivors of the Badussy war need to feel safe and welcome.
HPB@GoldenBoy
i also pledge a building in cvm cuntry, gag city centre to take in survivors. the helipoossay services are available to pick up as many stragglers as possible too. the cause is important.
Joociecoochie@wetbojaina
@GoldenBoy We're so proud!!
SIIntern@PBP
Your usernames are taking me tf out.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
I am so confused. How did me threatening Deadpool online turn into the most unhinged thread I've ever read?
PPotts@TheBoss
If you're uneducated. Just say that.
PPotts@TheBoss
President Deborah and I have coffee mornings regularly. I have comissioned Jiafei for a special event coming up.
Ichangethethongstwotimesaday@nobodyisreplacingthistwat
Kween Pepper!! That is truly diabolical!! Do you change the thongs two times a day?
PPotts@TheBoss
Yes.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
This is what I mean??!!!! What are you talking about? And why do you change your underwear twice a day. And why are you announcing it on twitter??
PPotts@TheBoss
Educate yourself.
HPB@GoldenBoy
Yeah.
SIIntern@PBP
I am so confused by everything that happened in that thread. So I'm going to ask for something I know I can get the answer to.
SIIntern@PBP
@TinyStank what exactly happened last night?
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
Exactly what Harry said. That creep has continued to stalk you even after the last time!! Why didn't you tell me?
SIIntern@PBP
Deadpool is my friend. I don't know why he was stalking Harry though. I'll tell him to stop that.
IAmIronMan@TinyStank
He kills people for a living.
SIIntern@PBP
Not anymore!!
HPB@GoldenBoy
he broke my arm.
HPB@GoldenBoy
he is one of Da Boyz
Poolie@DP
No I'm not
PPotts@TheBoss
I'm not one for threatening behaviour. But if you hurt one of my family again, I'll come for you myself.
PPotts@TheBoss
Da Boyz or Flop. I'll end you.
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