Star Shopping

Remus was sat underneath a tall oak tree, which towered over the courtyard. The sunlight peaked through the leaves slightly, shining onto his book. The courtyard of the children's home which he lived in was busy and full of children of all different ages. Some of them were playing football with a slightly deflated ball, others were crowded around two teenagers which were wrestling on the hardened dirt. All of them wore the same dark, navy uniform which consisted of a baggy shirt (which didn't come in different sizes) and parachute pants. Remus knew, deep inside his soul, that he could never be like them. He knew he'd never have any friends, but he wasn't upset by this. Remus always insisted that he liked the quiet.

Suddenly, Remus felt a tap on his shoulder. He guiltily slammed his book shut, although unsure why, and turned around. He was very sensitive to noise and had heard the footsteps approaching, although he didn't think they would acknowledge him. Remus' tanned skin, hazel eyes and faded scars blended in with his freckles, making him look like any innocent eleven year old. "The director requests you." A young lady with long, black hair and blue eyes stood over her. She had a disgusted expression and from what Remus knew, she was only there because her mother worked there as well.

She lead him upstairs towards the distinct office on the top floor. It had a silver platter on the wooden door which read, Mrs. Laurie. The material made him wince, and his face cringed. The lady from before rudely shoved him inside and Remus stammered towards the desk, where the Director and an elderly man whom he didn't recognise were standing. The man stood tall and confidently, he had a long, silver beard and wore strange clothes. He had maroon robes and a pointed hat, that made him look like a witch. The man spoke in a soft tone, yet he sounded wise and knowledgeable.

The man looked at Remus with sympathetic eyes, and Remus immediately understood, "Are you here to take me away?" He spoke quietly, and stared down at his shoes. To put it simply, Remus has been a werewolf since he was five. From what he knew, there was no cure to this horrible disease which had been cursed upon him. The old man shook his head, with a small smile on his face. Remus suddenly shot his head up, nobody had ever wanted him. When Remus finally met eyes with the man, he saw the shine in his icy blue eyes, and his reflection in the shine. The director and the young lady excused themselves, and allowed Remus and the man to talk privately.

"My name is Albus Dumbledore," He still had the ghost of a smile on his lips, "I'm the headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry." Remus chuckled lightly, before realising it wasn't a joke. Confusion shot through Remus' body and his lips parted slightly in shock without him noticing.

"Magic? You're a..." He glanced around as if he was about to say something offensive, before looking up again, "Wizard?" Dumbledore chuckled lightly before sighing happily.

"Quite right." He stroked his beard, as if deep in thought. "I've come here today to ask if you'd like to join our school. You'd be a great addition." Remus smiled widely, before it dropped down into a frown. Remus looked down at his shoes again, solemnly.

"I can't." Dumbledore sighed deeply at this. "I want to, but I have a problem-a condition." Remus began to tear up, he had felt the most excited in his life a few seconds ago, but now wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

"Yes, yes." He repeated. "I'm quite aware of this. Trust me, Hogwarts is prepared to provide you with a safe place for your monthly transformations. We also have a trained nurse on campus, and she can nurse you to health every month." Remus' face lit up with excitement, and Dumbledore chuckled lightly. "I'll take that as a yes, don't worry, I'll send over all of the resources you need. I'm sure I can give you every item needed, although your robes might not be the right size." Remus snickered and Dumbledore looked pleased at this reaction. "I must go now, I expect to see you in a month, on the first of September when the school year begins." With that, he disappeared into thin air.

Remus was shocked, and not fully convinced that wasn't a dream. The director poked her head in, "Oh, he left." She glanced around, confused, and began gesturing for Remus to leave. He got up and walked shakily out of the room. Instead of returning back outside, he went straight to his empty dormitory. His dorm mates were outside, playing football with everybody else. Remus often got picked on by them for being a nerd, but they couldn't be more wrong. Remus didn't think of himself as intelligent, and he only read basic books such as Matilda or Charlie and the chocolate factory.

The following week, owls began mysteriously dropping packages at the Children's Home for Remus. The Director decided to stash them away in a cupboard in her office, and he had no idea what they were until September first, when they left to board the train which would take Remus to Hogwarts. He was practically jumping up and down in his seat on the way there, they took the tube, which he had never had the privilege of going on. When they reached Kings Cross, the Director just left him there with his luggage, and told him to "Work it out you ungrateful swine." Remus had recalled what Dumbledore had told him how to get there, although Remus was sceptical if he was joking or not.

Nonetheless, Remus charged straight ahead, fearlessly into a brick wall. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for impact, but instead he felt his atmosphere change around him. When he opened his eyes again, he was surrounded by a bustling platform with witches and wizards of all different callipers kissing goodbye to their kids or boarding the train. There was a gorgeous steam-engine in front of him, it had gold and red writing on the front reading, Hogwarts Express. Remus boarded the train quickly, trying to avoid eye contact with everybody. He had fresh scars on his face and didn't want anybody to notice this, so he kept his head down and stormed onto the train, hurriedly.

Remus walked along the train, until he finally found an empty compartment. He slid the door open, and shut it behind him. He decided not to close the blinds, though. Instead, Remus placed his face against the cold glass, gaping like an idiot. He caught sight of a gorgeous boy he presumed to be his age. He had long, black hair which reached his shoulders. He had pale, fair skin and silver eyes. The boy had a frustrated expression on his face, and was standing next to an intimidating woman who appeared to be scolding him, along with a shorter boy with dark, curly hair and a defined bone structure. He finally made eye contact with the boy, and he flipped Remus off. In retaliation, Remus flicked two fingers up at him and they both giggled.

The sound of Remus' compartment sliding open made him jump, and two boys wondered inside. One of them had short, curly hair which went up to his ears, tanned skin and glasses perched upon his ethnic nose. Another, shorter, boy was stood awkwardly next to him. He was plump with red cheeks and short, blonde hair. "Hi! My names James, and this is Peter." The taller boy gestured to his friend who waved nervously at Remus. They looked at Remus expectantly, but he stayed silent. "Can we sit here? Everywhere else is full." Remus shrugged and continued leaning against the window, drifting off as the other boys made themselves comfortable.

A few minutes later, another boy burst in. It was the same boy from before, and he still had that ethereal beauty up close. The boy crouched down low, and put a finger over his lips. A few moments later, an older girl peaked through the window and glanced around, looking furious. After she passed, the boy sighed and sat next to Remus, causing Remus to shuffle up nervously. "I'm Sirius Black, thanks for not outing me to my cousins." The other boys introduced themselves, the one with the glasses was James Potter and the plump one was Peter Pettigrew. They all turned towards Remus, expecting him to butt in as well. Remus tried to remain silent, but James made it hard for him.

"What's your name?" James smiled warmly and urged Remus on, and Remus couldn't repress the urge to roll his eyes, rudely.

"Remus Lupin." He looked down at his shoes, suddenly very self aware of his scars, and turned around to stare out the window. It must've been about ten minutes before he dozed off, because he awoke to a jolt. They had arrived at Hogwarts. They all exited the compartment, Remus decided to trail behind them. Although he was trying to look cool, Remus couldn't help but gasp at the sight of the castle. And he heard Sirius giggle next to him. They were led inside by an old woman who preferred to be referred to as Professor Mcgonagall.

When they entered, she explained the process of sorting. "When we enter, please listen out for your name. They will be read out in alphabetical order of surnames. The houses are: Gryffindor. This house represents bravery and friendship. Ravenclaw. This house represents wisdom and knowledge. Hufflepuff. This house represents friendship and patience. Slytherin. This house represents ambition and morals." The repetition scratched Remus' brain, in an odd yet satisfying way. After this speech and many others, they were lead into the great hall.

The sight was breathtaking. There were levitating candles and chandeliers on the ceiling, and it seemed to show an open nights sky yet there was still some sort of roof. A ginger hair girl stood in front of him explained to someone next to her that there were charms to show the illusion of no roof. There were four long, oak tables for the different houses, but before Remus could identify which was which, Mcgonagall read out the first name. "Black, Sirius." Remus could see Sirius cut through the crowd, and as the hat considered, Remus felt strangely on edge. It finally sorted him into Gryffindor, and the hall erupted into cheers and applause. The sound was overwhelming, and Remus closed his eyes tightly, and clasped his hands over his ears.

James and Peter both were sorted into Gryffindor as well, everyone looked so excited, but Remus wanted to disappear. Finally, his name was called. As he walked up, he heard somebody whisper about his scars, he saw it was a greasy boy with long, dark hair. Remus sat nervously on the chair, closing his eyes, trying to block out the crowded hall in front of him. "Calm down, please." The sorting hat could obviously sense his unease. "You're interesting...Ravenclaw perhaps?" Remus snickered, he was definitely sure he didn't have any attributes close to wisdom. "Alright then, Gryffindor!" It roared over the hall, and when Remus opened his eyes, he could feel his face paling. The room was spinning around him.When he got to the table he sat at the first free seat he saw, which unfortunately for him, was with the lively boys from the train.

Remus slammed his head onto the desk, covering his ears with his hands. The full moon was in four days and he was already beginning to feel the effects, he presumed. He felt a poke at his shoulder, which caused him to turn his head abruptly. James was sat next to him, and he winced seeing how sick Remus looked. "Are you alright mate?" Remus grunted and placed his head on the table again. Remus felt annoyance at the second tap on his shoulder, he angrily turned his head to the side and furrowed his eyebrows. "You don't look so good." James said in a concerned voice. Remus had to hold himself back from punching him in the face right there.

"I'm fine." Remus wasn't fine. He had only felt this atrocious during the pains of his transformations. James clearly wasn't convinced, but Remus didn't care. He angrily stood up and stormed out, feeling like he was about to collapse. When he had left the great hall, he sat down on a tall staircase in front of the large double doors. When he had left, he felt much better after he was away from all those crowds. Remus felt a figure approach him, so he tilted his heads upwards and was surprised to see Sirius stood over him. Sirius looked concerned yet uncomfortable, and for some reason this infuriated Remus.

"Are you alright?" Sirius avoided eye contact, but Remus decided to nod politely. Suddenly, Sirius fixed his posture and gasped. Remus was taken aback by this, and he shifted uncomfortably on his step. Sirius reached into his pocket, and pulled out a turkey leg, chips and some vegetables. "Sorry about the vegetables," Sirius chuckled, "James said you need a balanced diet." Remus denied them and insisted he wasn't hungry, although that was a lie. Remus stood up and walked up the staircase, and Sirius trailed behind him. "Where are we going." Remus suddenly turned around, his hazel eyes meeting the gaze of Sirius' silver orbs.

"I don't know. Away from people." He shrugged and suddenly felt his body rapidly heating up, and his head was pulsing.

"Come on, we're friends! Come join us!" Sirius urged and tugged on Remus' robe, and Remus jolted around, fear in his eyes.

"Please stop, I don't need friends, I've never had any. I can take care of myself, I always have. So please don't force yourself to be my friend." Remus found himself tearing up, but he had no idea why. He quickly wiped his tears on his sleeves. Sirius was clearly at a loss for words, he looked past Remus' shoulder, his mouth open. He was about to say something but the stairs suddenly shifted, causing Remus and Sirius to drift apart, and they'd never reunite again, he knew this. It was for the better, Remus knew deep down, yet something didn't feel right.

Remus continued climbing the staircase, asking paintings for directions towards the Gryffindor dormitory, and he sat on the banister next to a portrait of a fat lady as he waited for the prefect to arrive. When the rest of the Gryffindors finally came up, the prefect scolded Remus for leaving the hall without being excused but Remus just rolled his eyes and flipped him off. Sirius and James snickered at this at the back of the crowd and Remus climbed through the portrait hole hurriedly as soon as they were given the password searched for his dorm.

Remus finally reached dorm four, which had his name and a few others imprinted on it. The plate was in gold, whereas the others were silver. Remus couldn't help but smile at this, he acknowledged how Dumbledore had gone out of his way for him. Remus didn't bother reading the names, so he hurried in. He saw his luggage placed neatly at the end of the bed which was nearest to the bathroom. Remus excitedly unpacked his things, skimming through everything. The item that caught his interest most was a wand inside of a linen box and burgundy velvet, it had a note propped neatly on top of it.

Dear Remus,

This wand was your fathers, and he decided to leave it in my possession for you. I'm assuming you have opened this when you reached your dormitory, if not, then follow these orders when you have arrived in your room. Please meet Professor Mcgonagall and myself in her office at eight pm on the first day. I assume you know what this is regarding.

Yours sincerely,
Albus Dumbledore.

Remus Read the note a few times, before folding it over and inspecting the wand again. He didn't understand some of the words in it, but still comprehended it all the same. The meeting didn't bother him, he assumed it was about his condition. Remus tried flicking his new wand excitedly. Suddenly, the door swung open, and three boys came charging inside, jumping on their beds. "Are you fucking kidding me." Remus accidentally said out loud, causing all the boys to look at him, Sirius suddenly straightened up, sitting on the edge of his bed and Peter and James just got embarrassed.

"Oh, hi, Remus." James finally said, his voice cracking. Remus immediately knew that Sirius had told them all about him. Remus just pursed his lips together and folded up the note, placing it neatly on his bed. He silently got up to leave, but felt that same tug on his sleeve before. He turned around, calmer this time.

"Are you okay? You seemed overwhelmed before." Remus just nodded, and shrugged. Sirius sighed, "Well I'm glad you aren't mad at me, I still want to be your friend." He looked innocently, and hurriedly let go of Remus' sleeve, as if he didn't notice he was still holding on. Remus sighed deeply, feeling pity for Sirius.

"I still can't have friends." Sirius stared at his shoes, upset. "I can't tell you why, but I can't." Remus felt upset saying it as well, he really wished he could have friends, and they all seemed like amazing people to be friends with. Remus knew though, that it would always be too dangerous to befriend anybody, especially people as observant as James and Sirius. Peter didn't look like much of a threat, but James told him everything, so if James found out then Peter would be next to know. Remus decided the best way to cope with the sudden realisation of how he would be alone forever, was to isolate himself. He immediately left the dorm, slamming the door behind him.

He made his way up the corridor, walking purposefully towards Mcgonagall's office. When he reached it, he took a deep breath in, and then knocked on the door, exhaling after it opened. "Enter." An empowered Scottish voice called from inside, and Remus edged inside slowly. He fidgeted with his fingers nervously and he glanced up, to see Mcgonagall giving him a soft smile. Dumbledore was stood at her side, giving that same kind look from before. "Please, take a seat." She spoke in a calm yet intimidating tone;Remus silently sat at the seat which she gestured towards. "I assume you understand what this meeting is referring too." She wasn't asking him, so Remus just nodded along.

"Rest assured, you will be protected fully on full moons." The pronouncing made him wince, but she continued. "You may have the days before and after off of school if you wish." Remus shot down the idea, he didn't want to raise suspicion. "You will go to the hospital wing an hour before moon rise, and nobody can know." Remus sunk into his seat, obviously looking disappointed. "This of course doesn't restrict you from having any friends, but even if you make best friends, this secret is far too great of a risk." She smiled warmly at him, and Remus nodded to show that he understood. He couldn't suppress the smile on his face. Remus was secretly overjoyed, this meant he could make his first companions.

When Remus came back to his dormitory, it was passed curfew. He explained to the prefect where he was, and he was excused. When he came up to the dorm, he had almost forgotten who he shared it with. Remus was about to apologise for what he had said before he left, but he froze in his tracks when he saw Sirius holding up his letter. "Remus, sorry for reading your things, but where were you? Is it to do with the scars? What's this letter about?" Remus felt a rage that burnt through his heart, it shot through him like a bullet. He clenched his fists and stared right at Sirius with a piercing gaze, before glancing around at Peter and James, who were sat next to him.

"How dare you go through my things?" He spoke out of anger, not even thinking before he spoke. "This is my letter alright? You had no right to read it! I don't have to answer any of your questions, and after this, I don't even want to be your friend anymore." Sirius went pale and his hands were shaking. Remus snatched the letter away from him and sat on his bed, pulling his curtains shut, feeling no sympathy. He heard Sirius say something to one of the other boys (who he assumed to be James) afterwards, but he couldn't understand it. All he could hear was a high pitch ringing in his ear, and he lay on his side, silently sobbing until he fell asleep.