sandy

REGULUS

the old beach house creaks under their feet. He doesn’t dare touch the porch wood in fear of getting splinters. The house may be pretty and big, but it’s age has really shown through after being in the Rosier family for years.

Dorcas ruffles his hair one more time before she mutters something about leaving behind a pack of cigs in her car. Regulus barely acknowledges this, too swept up in the idea of falling into his bed and sleeping, after a lengthy shower getting the sand out of his hair.

he slides the door open and the air hits him as well as the voices of his friends. it fills him with a warmth he’s not entirely familiar with.

“surprised your not a sea prune at this point.” Evans voice drawls out from the kitchen.

and oh, this is a set up. fuck you Dorcas.

Regulus turns abruptly, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. “i didn’t get in the water.” he snips.

evan raises an eyebrow, noticing the edgy tone but evidently deciding to ignore it. “regulus, we should talk about-“

“i got hired for a job in New York.” Regulus blurts, trying to evade the lecture he knew was coming. it reminded him too much of his father and the way he used to look right through him, as if speaking to a badly trained dog.

Evan purses his lips, stares at him, eyes narrow. “I’m worried about you.”

and isn’t that fucking hilarious. because Regulus has been down this road before, he’s gotten this lecture. the talk you get before you find out your being dragged away by big men wearing black in the middle of the night to a place in nowhere USA while your mother and father shake their heads and tell you to ‘keep quiet and listen to the doctors that can fix you.’

His whole life is a cycle. nothing is ever new with him. he never learns, he never heals, he just tapes it up and ignores.

Regulus clutched his arms, scratching idly at the skin and shrugged. “i know, people usually are.” he spoke through the sandpaper in his mouth.

Evans hands drop to his side, his fingers flex. “that’s not- it’s not a bad thing for people to worry about you.” his tone is edging on annoyed.

yes it is

I’m sorry I’m more a burden than a friend.

Regulus doesn’t respond outwardly, his gaze falls to the floor and he tries to pretend that Evans words meant anything to him, like he was able to believe them.

His chest is burning, the anxiety swirls in his gut.

“you guys should come with me.“ Regulus continues on, ignoring how hoarse his voice sounds. “There’s a lot of top agencies there that would love you and Dora, and Barty would be able to throw his stupid parties and Dorcas could do, like, some kind of moving vlog and-“

“Regulus.”

He freezes. His mouth clamps shut, and his posture stiffens.

“I’ll go.” Evan speaks after a pause.

Regulus lets out a breath.

“if.” oh fuck

“you go to therapy.” Evan finished. The look on his face is dead set determination.

Regulus, does not do therapy.

not anymore.

But he also doesn’t do anything without his friends, and he’s sick of getting the worried gazes and the secret conversations they think he doesn’t hear.

If Regulus going to therapy will let Evan breathe and forget about the sickness that is Regulus Black for just a minute, surely he can do it.

“okay.” he whispers, there’s pain in his voice he doesn’t remember feeling. A blockade in his throat that he tries (and fails) to clear.

nothings new. Regulus is still the burden his mother promised he’d always be.

nothings new.

nothings new.

Evans eyes soften, and the tension in his shoulders bleed out, and regulus can finally breathe again. “okay.” he nods.

“when do we leave.” Evan speaks again after an awkward pause.

Regulus purses his lips. “A few days.”

Evan nods absentmindedly, “alright, does everyone else know?”

Regulus averts his eyes. “yeah, i asked them about it earlier.”

Evan doesn’t respond to that, there’s a look on his face that’s unreadable.

Evan takes a deep breath and walks towards where Regulus has been stuck by the glass sliding door, the wind still howling behind him.

Evan grabs his hand and squeezes, giving him a weak smile.

then he’s gone, and Regulus hears the lump in his throat before he feels it.

He presses a hand to his mouth so none of his friends will worry. the tears fall from his eyes and he puts his head down as he shakily walks towards his bedroom.

nothings fucking new.

PETER

a ‘throw-away friend’ as described by urban dictionary, is a friend or person who is only considered a friend when they are needed or used by another.

Peter only sees his friends on big occasions anymore. or when he’s asked to go out for drinks because he’s an entertaining drunk.

it’s not their fault truly. Sirius and james have been dealing with family issues, issues of which Peter has no idea. The girls have their band, and the touring.

somehow, the only person whose been in consistent communication with him is Remus. Remus who is thousands of miles away dealing with pain Peter can only imagine, Remus who hasn’t contacted anyone but him and Lily.

Both Peter and Lily had agreed not to tell anyone else of the communication because they knew it would hurt they weren’t receiving it from someone they loved.

it makes Peter feel slimy to say it, but the fact Remus has spoken to him makes him feel special. which is strange, because special things like that are usually reserved for special people. he understands why Lily was spoken to, Lily is the human embodiment of good. But Peter? Peter is the throw-away friend.

“Petey!” He jumps, almost spilling the drink in his hand.

He spins to see a chest full of James, being completely engulfed in it.

He sags into it and pats a hand onto his back, “hey prongs.”

James squeezes him like his life depends on it. he sways them back and forth, never one to give up the hug too early.

“wormtail!” Sirius voice drags out making the entire bar turn towards them, all used to the loud ways of the group of men.

Peter is pulled back just enough to be almost tackled by Sirius.

Sirius has never learned to love in moderation so his love is more like a surprise attack, a sudden violent riptide.

Peter hugs him back tightly, trying to memorize the amount of affection his friends give him so later when things get bad he can say “see! they do care about me! they do!”

then he pulls back and it’s like a crisp gust of wind has struck him. “Pete.” The words are spoken very simply, and Peter grins.

“Remy!” he laughs as he walks up to him and  puts a hand to his shoulder, squeezing.

There’s something akin to relief on Remus face as he smiles at Peter, it makes his heart warm.

“Saw the movie, fuckin good job mate.”

Peter blinks. The movie he had been i. wasn’t much of a movie, more so a short film by an indie director put on youtube. Peter wasn’t ashamed of it, everyone has to start somewhere. But it wasn’t like he had expected his friends to watch it, well he had advertised it on social media a bit but never brought it up to anyone in real life, it just hadn’t felt important enough.

Both Sirius and James furrow their eyebrows. “what movie?” James speaks, his tone bordering on offended.

Peter cringes. “just a small project I did a bit ago, I put it on Instagram.”

This doesn’t seem to soothe either of them, as they adopt equally guilty looks.

Remus interrupts before it can become a thing, ignoring the awkwardness of it all.

“don’t bring yourself down, you were amazing.” He ruffles his hair like a proud mother and Peter should be embarrassed about the pink that spreads onto his cheeks but he isn’t, because it’s Remus.

Sirius seems to shake himself out of it and grins something wicked. “so.” he claps. “drinks boys?”

Something in Remus eyes flicker, and it reflects in Peters.

“Actually,” Peter feels his heart speed up as he speaks, clears his throat. “I’m uh done with the drinking thing, for a while.”

He smooths his shirt out, fidgeting to ignore the silence that stretches between the friends.

James is the first to react, his confused expression clearing over to erupt into a grin. “of course mate, what’s your favorite virgin drink? it’s on me.” He pats down his shirt to find his wallet as he lays a hand over Peters shoulder, guiding him towards the bar.

Remus and Sirius trail behind him, Peter can’t help but worry. The four of them used to be able to read each other like breathing, and now it feels like a 30 year high school reunion.

Maybe they just aren’t meant to last.

MARY

sound check is her favorite part of the night. The loose and comforting atmosphere, the affection that can only be seen without a crowd.

and the most important part, the fact she can do it in her pjs.

“What the hell are you wearing.” Lily’s voice is bordering on amused as she groans exasperatedly.

Mary does a little twirl for her, showing off the hot pink booty shorts with her face on them. and the baby tee that reads “Valkyries” in a font that resembles lipstick.

“What? it’s our merch!”

Lily blinks, unimpressed. “that’s not our merch Mare, it’s some creeps from redbubble.”

Mary shrugs. “and? it’s comfy as hell.”

Lily shakes her head, obviously disappointed. “cmon.” she nods her head towards the stage where Marlene is already setting up.

Mary smiles as Lily grabs for her hand as she guide her merely twenty feet away.

She wishes she could do these kinds of things on stage, in front of people. get to scream it from the roof that the two of them are together, that Lily is hers and nobody else’s. wishes she could tattoo her name into Lily’s back and trace it in front of the faces that drool over her.

But she can’t, stupid fucking management.

The management they had signed with had a great reputation. creating stars with millions of followers, and a household name everyone knew.

but they were strict, and if you didn’t follow a rule they set, things got messy very quickly.

They had made it clear from the beginning that the three of them had to be ‘accessible’ that the people of the world needed to know that they were single and would give fans a chance. it reeked of misogyny. But Mary and the girls had agreed that they were gonna make it. And you don’t always get to the top by choosing the easy way out.

But Lily and hers relationship had almost been the cut that severed their ties with the company. When Rodolphus, their manager, had found out things had gotten bad.

There were multiple yelling matches, threats, and tears. But in the end, they were given an ultimatum. either keep your relationship a secret, or lose your career.

So Lily and Mary had gone quiet, never giving each other the warm smiles, or the lingering touches. Resigning to fall back and hide in the shadows.

It had hurt both of them, but Lily had taken it in stride. Trying to make things work still without being able to tell anyone. Lily had always been more private, more sweet when the two of them were alone. So the idea of staying private about it rubbed her the wrong way, but didn’t ruin her.

But for Mary, it couldn’t have been a worse decision. Mary was loud and charismatic, if she loved someone she was going to scream it from the rooftop. She didn’t hide about things, she stood up for them. Her relationship with Lily was going to be full of constant attention and affection. Because that’s who she was, her love language being physical touch. But she didn’t get that, instead she felt like she was sucked into a time machine and entered into the early 1900s where the two of them had to pretend to not love each other to evade their loveless husbands.

it just, wasn’t fair.

“hello ladies.” Marlene practically yells into the mic as she sees the two of them entering.

Lily drops her hand as they see their crew in the side working on tech stuff. Mary tries not to let it sting.

“hello hello hello.” Mary bows as she enters fully into the stage, at the center as she stares out into the theatre.

It wasn’t the biggest place they’d ever played at, but the venues had gotten considerably bigger than when they first started out. Performing at charity events and late night restaurants.

Mary felt a jolt of adrenaline run through her as she envisions herself, Lily and Marlene on stage tonight. She breaths out as she lets her eyes close. Screw all the other issues filling her head, tonight is about them and absolutely nothing else.