sandy

DORCAS

14 months earlier

“Marlene.” Dorcas' voice is a whisper, standing in the doorway to her girlfriend’s apartment.

The jacket around her feels so big now. Like it barely fits her. 

She’s barely step foot into Marlene’s house before she’s finalizing it. Perhaps it’s cruel to leave her like this, but if she stays and lets her make her food and sing and dance with her in the living room, Dorcas will never do it.

Marlene freezes mid-step, faltering on her earlier claim of ‘finding them something to eat.’

Marlene clears her throat as she turns to look at Dorcas, a wary look on her painted face. Her eyes have the dark out line of eyeliner and under eye shadow. 

“Yeah baby?” her voice wavers.

Dorcas stares at the ground, the door behind her still open.

“When were you going to tell me about the tour?”

She can hear the sharp intake of breath, the shaky ‘oh god’ Marlene whispers under her breath.

It’s silent. The sound of city traffic hits their ears glaringly. Dorcas pays it no mind as she finally looks up to see her girlfriend shaking.

Marlene looks at her with guilt before her eyes flicker to the door behind her.

 “Can you shut the door please.”

Dorcas flinches. 

And that’s it, isn’t it?

The nail in the fucking coffin.

She had some kind of idea of where Marlene’s priorities lied, but this, this is a new low even for her. 

All Marlene can seem to focus on is the fact that somebody might overhear this argument, and then refer it to her management.

Not the fact that she’s put her girlfriend, the only person in her fucking life that loves her more than anybody else, through hell.

Dorcas reaches out behind her and slams the door.

Now it’s Marlene’s turn to cringe.

“I love you.” Dorcas has been preparing for this moment for days, but the words still crack.

“I love you.” she continues with all the strength she can gather. “And I’m not sure why anymore.” tell me why. She wants to scream. Give me something to hold onto. She wants to beg.

Marlene takes a step towards her, Dorcas takes a step back instinctively.

“Don’t say that.” Marlene has a wild look in her blue eyes, she takes another step forward. “Please don’t say that.” Her tone is hysterical.

“You leave in three weeks. You’ve known for fifteen.” Dorcas states the facts like she’s a lawyer presenting her defendant, and not her fucking girlfriend. The woman she would’ve considered her soulmate. Fucking embarrassing.

Marlene pushes her way into Dorcas space. “I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want anything to ruin what we had going.” And it’s so ruthlessly honest that Dorcas has to laugh.

It’s a wet laugh because she’s crying. She hadn’t realized, but she’s crying. She needs to stop crying. “Like what we had going on was so good? Marlene, I’ve barely seen you in weeks.”

Marlene’s hands come up to cup her face. Her hands shake and the pads of her fingers are rough from the amount of plucking she’d done with her guitar. Dorcas' hands are soft, she was meant for holding precious things in her hand and giving them something soft. Marlene is all rough edges. Maybe she was meant for something equally rough.

Dorcas can’t give her anything but quiet laughter and butterfly kisses. Dorcas can’t giver her rough and fast and secret. Not anymore.

Marlene drags her fingers across her cheeks to wipe the tears. “I know. I know. I’ve been so busy, I’m so sorry.” she’s a blubbering mess. Her tears fall faster than Dorcas’. She practically falls into Dorcas as she leans her forehead onto Dorcas.

Dorcas shakes her head. “Marlene. I have put myself through some bad things for love. But I’m done throwing on a wig and sunglasses just to see you.” The words feel like tar in her mouth, but she’s done repeating the cycle of her past relationships.

They fuck up. She forgives them. She resents them. They fuck up. And so forth.

Marlene practically collapses into her, a sob leaving her mouth. Her shaggy blonde hair has pink highlights now, she had to have gotten them sometime in the last week, since they are brand new to Dorcas.

Dorcas immediately raises her hands to catch her, like an instinct. 

“I’m sorryimsosorry.” Marlene’s words are unclear as they are smothered by her head tucked into Dorcas neck.

Marlene pulls back, so Dorcas can see her in all her snot faced glory. She’s still the most gorgeous person she’s ever had the pleasure to know. Even if it were just for a fleeting moment, she’s glad she got to get swept up into her storm.

“I wanted to give you so much more. I love you more than anyone or anything. I want to spend every moment just sitting with you. And I’m so sorry it’s not enough.”

Marlene’s rambling is cut off by Dorcas as she drags her thumb under Marlene’s eye. Gathering the tears there and flicking them away softly.

 “Me too.” Dorcas exhales shakily as she places her head onto Marlene’s.

Fuck

NARCISSA

Present Day

“You’re going where?!” She can hear her own voice becoming shrill as it falls out of her.

She glanced forward frantically, and is relieved to se that the window between her and her driver is closed. Meaning he didn’t hear a word of her momentary freak out. Good.

“Cissa, I got offered something really good. It could pay off all the fucking student loans i’ve got piled.” Regulus tilted voice comes through the phone. His tone is off and the words are clipped, so she’s assuming he’s on the verge of a breakdown. Just great.

“Reggie, you’re a fucking idiot. You know who is in the city.” Narcissas hissing voice is quieter now, the driver in the front keeps making awkward eye contact with her.

“It’s a really big city?” Regulus offers, but it’s weak and even he has to know it’s the worst argument he could make.

“Not with your luck.” She huffs.

She can not deal with this right now, she has too much going on to try and protect her baby cousin from making a life altering horrible decision.

Which reminds her.

“Look. I have to go, I’m signing the divorce papers today and I cannot show up looking frazzled from this conversation. They’ll assume it’s because of Lucious and I cannot take that kind of press.”

She pulls up the camera on her phone as she flips her cousin onto speaker, looking back at her reflection to make sure nothings out of place.

Divorcing a huge shareholder on the biggest wallstreat business is definitely front page worthy.

Take the fact she’s from a very prominent family, has been married barely two years, and a six month old baby, she’s already set up to be the:

‘wrecked divorcee breaking down on her way to Sign The Papers.’

Ugh disgusting.

“Oh, that’s today? I’m sorry Narcissa.” Regulus voice has heavy regret laced in it and Narcissa rolls her eyes.

“Don’t be. Be sorry for the fact I’m going to have Bella rip into you for being a complete imbecile the second you land.” She paused to reapply her lipgloss.

Using the Bellatrix card is the cruelest trick in the book. But if Regulus doesn’t run for the hills now, she knows everything will explode into his face. And Narcissa is not going to bring him back to life, no, because she’s told him exactly what would happen.

“Now, goodbye Reggie. Have a safe flight.”

Regulus sighs through the phone. “Bye Cissa.”

Narcissa takes one last look in her camera mirror and sets her shoulders back.

She knocks on the window keeping her and her driver separate, it opens and she hears Ken’s voice. “yeah?”

“Just drop me off here.”

Ken gives her a wide eyed look. “Mrs Malfoy , It’s January and that’s like six flights of stairs.”

Narcissa shrugs. “If they want a goddamn entrance than they will get it. And if everything goes right today it’s Miss Black, not Mrs Malfoy.”

Ken just shakes his head exasperated. “Alright Miss Black, have it your way.”

The doors unlock and Narcissa takes a real deep breath.