Once again
“I won’t give up Regulus. That’s just not happening.” James insisted as he helplessly run his hand through his curls for the thousand times this evening.
“We can’t be together. It’s too dangerous.” Regulus answered with the controlled voice James hated so much. Sometimes he didn’t even sound like the person he loves.
“We will work it out!”
“No. James, you have to stay here, and I have to go back to my family. You need someone inside and I’m the perfect option.”
“I won’t leave you. I will always search for you.”
They were in the come-and-go room having this argument for what felt like hours and Regulus was tired. He made his decision. He had to keep James safe, and this was the only option. James crossed the distance between them and pulled Regulus towards him. Regulus let him. For a moment he closed his eyes and let the warmth of James surround him again. “How could I live on without you, when I know how it feels to have you in my arms.”
Regulus closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. James has to be safe, nothing else matters. He kissed him. His heart skipped a beat, the same as every time he gets to kiss this boy. He poured to the touch every feeling he had in him. When they parted James looked at him like he just won, full of hope for their shared future.
The loving look, the James Potter look reserved only for Regulus slowly disappeared as Regulus let one tear slip from his eye. It burned his skin, and he whispered the heartbreaking words obliviate.
~.~.~.~.~
James went through life, and it was hard. But that’s what is to be expected in a war. He felt like he aged fifty years in that war, but they won, and his friends survived, and everything started to look better once again. And James Potter lived, got up every morning, drank his cup of coffee and he lived. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. The voice in the forgotten part of his brain kept telling him that something wasn’t right. He dreamed about long nights and stars, whispered secrets and broken promises, about late night flying and laughter so bright that set fire inside him, about soft touches. Mostly he dreamed about those beautiful eyes that looked like the calm after a storm. Those eyes that were so young but had been through much. He would wake up with tears on his cheeks, but the reason slipped through his fingers like water.
~.~.~.~.~
James took another step waiting in line for his coffee. It was a long line, but the coffee was worth the wait. There was one more person in front of him so soon it’ll be finally his turn.
“Cup of batch brew.” The person ordered and for some reason, a chill went down James’ spine. Do you know the feeling when you hear a long-forgotten melody? The dark-curled boy stepped aside waiting for his order and James couldn’t tear his eyes off him. He approached the stranger his desire for coffee long forgotten. He felt in a trance.
“Hello, hello. Do I know you?” James asked and he could swear the boy stopped breathing.
“I think you have the wrong person.” The boy answered with a cold voice, and it sounded wrong to him. He should sound happy and light. But how James knew this? It was just a stranger in a coffee shop.
“You remind me of someone, but I can’t figure out who.”
The boy just shrugged his eyes fixated on James. “Well, I’m James.” He reached out his hand.
The stranger hesitated for a moment. “Regulus.” As soon as their hands touched James felt like he could cry. It felt so right, like coming back home from a long trip. Warm and safe.
“Nice to meet you Regulus.”
Regulus was stoic, his face without a hint of expression, closed for others. The barista called Regulus’ order and their eye contact broke. Regulus took his order and turned to leave. James acted without thinking. It was like an instinct screaming at him not to let him walk away.
“Are you alright?” He asked. If the question startled Regulus, he didn’t let it show.
“Yes.” He gritted through his teeth.
James wavered for a moment. He didn’t know this boy, but something was telling him to speak up. “Sorry, you just seem sad.”
Regulus shot him an unimpressed look. “What part of me suggests that I’m sad?”
“Your eyes.” And there it was a crack in his mask. And what previously seemed like sadness in those beautiful eyes turned into full heartbreak.
“Do you want to have a coffee with me Regulus?” James asked and Regulus nodded.
And this is how history watched James Potter fall in love once again with the boy named after a star with eyes like the calm after a storm, laugh bright as the sun and touch warm as summer.