The way I see you
James is not paying much attention to his surroundings at the moment. He is more fixated on shuffling the cards in his hands. Regulus and he are spending their day in the park. It’s a beautiful sunny day. It’s not too hot but it’s warm enough to wear only shorts and a shirt. His parents taught him a lot of card games and he always loved them, so now he is teaching them to Regulus.
He watches the repetitive motion of his hands. It calms him. He lets his mind wander anywhere it wants in several different directions but for once he lets it go as much as it pleases concentrating on the cards. He is snaped from it by the familiar sound of a camera click. He looks up to see Regulus lowering a camera with a satisfied smile. His boyfriend loves taking photos and he always has this kompakt camera with him.
“Why are you always taking photos of me?” He asks because it’s true. Regulus indeed takes photos of James more often than anything else.
“Because you are beautiful,” Regulus answers without hesitation. James just shrugs because he never knows what to say to this. He’s not good at receiving compliments.
He shoots Regulus his practised smirk as he declares nonchalantly. “Well, make sure you capture my good side.” He swirls his head around to mess with his curls.
Regulus watches him for a moment with those searching eyes that leave James feeling bare. It’s like Regulus could see inside his soul. “I mean it, Jamie. You are beautiful.”
Now, why would he say that? Because the thing is, James doesn’t believe him. He knows he is not bad-looking meaning there is nothing particularly wrong with his appearance. But he could be a few inches taller, and maybe work a little bit harder on his body. His hair is always a mess no matter how much he tries. He has to wear glasses and there are several scars from his acne on his face. His arms sometimes feel too long and other times too short, but he definitely knows he has chubby fingers. The list could go on and on. There is nothing particularly wrong with his body but when he focuses enough on each part it could always be better. Because there isn’t anything outstanding about him. He is just an average-looking boy and nobody like average.
He shrugs and starts to place cards on the blanket. “Let’s play this game…” And he starts to explain the rules to the other boy who is once again looking at him with a searching look. For a moment James is afraid he will say something but, in the end, Regulus decides not to.
~.~.~.~.~
It’s probably a month after the picnic at the park. James is sitting in their living room trying to decide what movie they're gonna watch when Regulus sits beside him, but instead of popcorn in his hands, he has an envelope.
“I want to show you something, Jamie,” Regulus says softly and hands him the envelope. Inside there are several developed photos. And every single one has James in it. On some he is completely alone, on others, he is with his friends. James doesn’t know when Regulus took most of them. There are ones that he is smiling, some when he is focused with furrowed eyebrows, or with a faraway look suggesting he is not paying attention to his surroundings, on few of them he looks sad. The last one is the one Regulus took at the park with the word beautiful neatly written on the bottom. And well James never saw himself like this. Is this how he appears to the others? Because the images are different from what he usually sees in the mirror.
“This is how I see you,” Regulus whispers. “And at least for me, you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”
When James looks up, he sees Regulus smiling softly at him with nothing but sincerity on his face and he has to fight hard not to let the tears spill from the corners of his eyes.