On Begged and Borrowed Time

I glow pink in the night in my room

I've been blossoming alone over you

Late September, 1976

“Merlin, Moony, you’re a genius,” Sirius whispers, watching Remus cast an incantation in the bathrooms closest to the Slytherin dormitory. As long as it all goes to plan, the sinks and toilets will spray red and gold water when used, staining whoever comes within range.

Remus glances up to smile at him and Sirius feels his stomach swoop as he instinctively grins back. Remus quickly returns to the spell, his face scrunched up in concentration as he finishes, the pink edge of his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth. Sirius smiles to himself, leaning against the bathroom wall.

The prank itself had been Sirius’ idea once he got bored of the party, but Remus had come up with the idea of making it so that the toilets only affected Slytherins. It was a little too merciful for Sirius’ taste– he preferred his pranks to be a bit more all-encompassing against its targets, but either way, it was a pretty clever piece of magic, adding in the spell required for magical recognition like that. However, Sirius had made sure that shirts couldn't be cleaned with a typical spell- they'd have to come up with the counter-curse or get a new shirt.

“There we go,” Remus says, straightening up and turning to Sirius. “We’ll see a lot of crimson and gold Slytherins at breakfast tomorrow.”

“Perfect,” Sirius laughs, “Oh my god, Moony. Imagine if we get Reg! Ugh, I wish I could be there to see it. Get him back a little bit for beating us today.”

“I thought you were happy Regulus won?” Remus responds, amusement clear in his voice. “What happened to “ Regulus is a fucking star!” ?

“ Hey! Don’t use my words against me, Moony. Besides, that can be true and my wanting to get him back can be true too. He’s my brother, I can’t be too nice to him.”

Remus chuckles, shaking his head at Sirius before looking back to him. “Do you think he ever came to the party? I thought it was nice of James to invite him.”

Oh, fuck, Sirius thinks to himself. He forgot entirely about Regulus coming to the party. Sirius had been pretty surprised that James had invited him, but he had been talking about Regulus more often ever since they got partnered together for prefect rounds. It had been weird, at first, them spending time together, but Sirius was happy about it. Reggie needs some normal friends, and James is perfectly normal. He'll be a good influence on Regulus, Sirius thinks.

“That’s a good question, Moony. Why don't we just look?” Sirius says with a smirk, pulling the map out of his back pocket. He wags the paper at Remus tauntingly.

“Oh, no, I didn't mean that,” Remus stammers, trying to reach for the map. “Why don’t we just walk back to the tower? See if he’s there?” 

Sirius narrows his eyes at Remus. “Why are you being weird? Why wouldn't we just look at the map?”

“I’m not being weird!” Remus huffs. “We’re going back anyway, so why not wait?”

“Moony, your non-magical tendencies allude to me. And I don't have your patience.” Sirius remarks, unfolding the map. He taps the map and ink begins to swirl around the page, the outline of the castle and all of its inhabitants appearing. 

“Alright, let's see here. Where is little Reggie?” He hums, searching the map. “Huh, I can't find him. Remus, come look. Maybe you'll see him.”

Remus leans over Sirius’ shoulder, towering over him. His warm breath hits Sirius’ neck and he suppresses a shiver, looking back at him. “Er, do you see him?” 

“No,” Remus says, eyebrows furrowed. “No, I don't.”

Sirius keeps checking, looking at the names that are overlapping in both the Slytherin and Gryffindor common rooms because of the parties. Then, in a corridor not too far away, he spots him.

“Oh wait!” Sirius exclaims. “There he is! He's with- what the hell? Why is he with James outside of the dorm?” Sirius feels Remus freeze beside him, and he turns to him, a feeling of suspicion settling in. 

“Do you know something? Are they planning something?” 

Remus pulls away, putting his hands up in surrender. “I don't know anything, Sirius. Maybe they're planning a prank?” 

“You think a swot like Regulus would plan a prank? Well, I guess he is with James but…” Sirius trails off, shaking his head. “No, they've got to be doing something else. Let’s go find them.”

“Wait! Sirius– just– why don't we leave them alone?”

Warning bells go off in his head at Remus’ reluctance. “Oh. Oh, you really do know something, don't you?” He asks, looking up at Remus. “What are you guys hiding from me?”

“Padfoot I’m not hiding anything I just think-”

Remus is interrupted by the sound of soft laughter, causing Sirius to whirl around on the spot to see who it is. Rounding the corner is James with his invisibility cloak under his arm and Regulus walking beside him. They're talking quietly to each other, shoulder to shoulder. Regulus is smiling widely at James, leaning in to say something to him, when James sees Sirius and Regulus. He stops where he is, widening his eyes at the sight of them. Regulus’ smile turns to a frown and he turns too, seeing Sirius. The frown on his face deepens and he straightens up, lifting his chin haughtily. Sirius knows that look, that defense mechanism. They are hiding something from him.

“You!” Sirius shouts, walking towards them. “I know you're hiding something from me!”

“Sirius!” Remus exclaims, stricken.

James shakes his head wildly as his eyes get even bigger. “Pads, no, I swear - we didn’t plan it or anything, it just kind of happened!”

“James.” Regulus hisses, turning to him quickly. “Be quiet.” James shuts his mouth immediately, meeting Sirius’ eye with a guilty look.

Sirius looks between the two of them, enraged. “Really, Regulus? My best friend? If you guys are planning something together, the least you can do is tell me! What were you doing?”

“Nothing that concerns you, Sirius.” Regulus sneers. He's gearing up for a fight and Sirius knows it. Well, okay then. If Regulus wants to fight, then Sirius will fight too. They've always been good at it.

“Of course, it concerns me! He’s my best friend. He wouldn't even have looked your way if it wasn't for me. You can't just go traipsing around the castle without me! He didn't even want to be your friend when I brought it up over the summer!”

Regulus’ face falters slightly, and Sirius knows he’s hit a chink in his armor. It doesn't feel as good as he thought it would.

“Sirius,” James warns, “don't say that. I never, ever said that.”

“It was close enough,” Sirius grumbles, averting his eyes.

“Sirius,” Remus says, coming up behind him and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Leave it, yeah? They said they're not hiding anything. It's obvious James was just walking Reg back to his dorm. Right, James?”

James' eyebrows knit together as he looks at Remus, and Sirius watches as something passes between them that he can't read. 

“Er-yeah,” James stammers. “Yeah, I was just walking him back after the party. It's late and you know what creeps Snape and that lot can be. You didn't give us a chance to explain, mate.”

Sirius deflates, his shoulders slumping just slightly. He feels a bit ridiculous now, thinking they were hiding anything from him, leaving him out. He recognizes what he’s feeling now. It's jealousy, of both James and Regulus. James is his best friend and Regulus is his little brother. They shouldn't be hanging out without him. 

“Oh,” Sirius says, looking down at the floor. He really can be a bit dramatic sometimes. 

“I’m going to bed now, you idiot,” Regulus says, shooting a withering look at Sirius as he goes. He doesn't say goodbye to James or Remus.

“Reg, wait!” Sirius calls after him as he walks through the Slytherin entryway. “Don't go in the loo down here tomorrow!”

The door slams shut with a bang, ringing out into the quiet of the hallway.

“Jesus Christ.” Remus sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You two are insane.”

-

When Regulus gets back to his dorm, the party is nearly over, with just a few stragglers left in the common room still drinking or couples snogging on the couch. He goes straight to his dorm, cursing Sirius under his breath. 

“Regulus, you're back! How was it?” Pandora exclaims excitedly when she sees him. She's sitting on his bed, a goblet in her hand. Evan and Barty are sitting together on Barty's bed, their knees resting against each other’s.

“Well?” Barty asks, raising his eyebrows at Regulus. “What was it like having James Potter deflower you?”

Regulus says nothing, walking to his trunk to pull out his pajamas, but he can’t stop his blush from coming. 

“Merlin- wait. Stop. You didn't! Did you really?!” Barty shouts, clambering off the bed and towards Regulus. “You're blushing, you wanker! What did you do?”

“I- we didn't- he didn't deflower me, Barty. Merlin’s beard.” Regulus groans, his face getting even hotter.

“He did something,” Evan says, laughing slightly.

Regulus doesn't respond to that. He can't bring himself to say it out loud. He’s going to sound like such a child and he doesn't think he can take it. Their teasing, that is. Anyway, just because they kissed, no matter how earth-shatteringly good it might have been, it doesn't mean anything. He and James Potter cannot happen.

“He kissed you, didn't he?” Pandora asks smugly, barely suppressing the smile she has on her face. Regulus’ head snaps up to look at her. Merlin's fucking beard, he thinks, she saw it.

“You knew!” Barty gasps, pointing a finger at her. “You bloody knew that was going to happen and didn't tell him? Or me?!”

“Do you think it actually would have happened if I told Regulus?” Pandora asks with a frustrated sigh. “I'm not even going to dignify you with a response as to why I didn't tell you, Barty. Use your brain. I know you have one in there.”

“Pandora,” Regulus grits out, not acknowledging Barty. He doesn’t have the patience right now. “How long have you known?”

“Oh, not too long, really.” She avoids his eyes and starts twisting her hair. 

“You’ve known since the first day of term, haven't you?” Regulus realizes. “When you asked me if I had been spending much time with him.”

“Yes,” Pandora admits, sheepishly. “I knew then. The thing is, I couldn't figure out where you two were, so I had a hard time tracking the timeline. Where was that dingy place anyway?”

Regulus sighs, rubbing his temple. His friends, and James, they're going to kill him. “The cellar under Honeydukes.”

Evan let's put a low whistle. “He took you to Hogsmeade? Hot date, Reg.”

“It wasn't a date,” Regulus says harshly. “It was–”

“Oh, it was so a date.” Barty laughs. “Yeah, James Potter is not the type of bloke to hit it and quit it.”

“No one hit anything, Barty!” Regulus shouts, his voice rising in exasperation as Barty cackles, leaning against Evan.

“Regulus, why are you so upset about it?” Pandora questions, her voice lined with concern. “I thought you'd be happy about it? You've fancied him for years.”

“I'm not upset about it I just,” Regulus falters slightly, “there's no way this is going to happen. It can't happen.”

“It can happen, Regulus,” Pandora assures, her eyes wide as she attempts to convince him. “It is happening. I mean, I know I try not to do this, but it’s going to keep happening, too. He fancies you, Reg. So what's wrong?”

Barty and Evan are quiet now, watching Regulus. He can feel their eyes on him.

“I just have this feeling that I'm going to be in deep shit soon.” Regulus’s voice is pained as he speaks. “I know you're the seer, but I can feel it. I've felt it my whole life and never really known when it was going to happen. Now I think I know.”

“What do you mean?” Barty asks, the humor in his voice gone. “Did something else happen?”

“I just– know. I know something is going to happen. I don't know what, but I know it's going to happen. I can't explain it.”

“This is about your meeting with Dumbledore, isn't it?” Evan presses, meeting Regulus’ eyes. “You didn't tell us what happened, but he said something didn't he?”

“Yeah,” Regulus responds, his voice quiet. “He did.”

“What is he making you do?” 

Regulus laughs humorlessly. “That's just the thing, isn't it? I have no fucking clue what he's going to make me do, but I know, I know, he's going to make me do something.” He laughs again, covering his eyes with his hand. “You should've heard him, the way he set me up. I couldn't do anything but agree.” He looks at his friends, “He brought up Sirius and said all this shit about brothers and love. He even brought up James and his parents. He didn't ask me to do anything directly, but the implication was clear.”

“Well, what exactly did he say?” Pandora questions. She looks confused and has a slightly faraway look on her face. Regulus knows that look. She’s trying to find it, see what’s going to happen.

“Then, Regulus, you are protected, in short, by your ability to love. Can I trust that you are willing to maintain such protection, even if it proves to be difficult?” Regulus repeats, tonelessly.

Pandora’s eyes snap to him. “He said that?”

“Bloody fucking hell. Why is he such a creep?” Barty groans, his face distressed.

“That's what he said.” Regulus affirms, “Not much else. Told me some vague bullshit about his brother, but yeah. That's what he said.”

“So, not to bring this back up or anything, but how does this tie into you and James?” Evan asks, scratching his head.

“Regulus is trying to play the hero. Which he better stop doing now.” Pandora says, fiercely. “I can't see everything, Reg, and if I could I wouldn't tell you, but this– you need this. I can see enough to tell you that this is going to happen, at least for some time. You need to get over this newfound sense of nobility and accept your fate.”

“Pandora!” Regulus argues, the anger in his chest rising quickly. “You can't possibly support me continuing– whatever this is with James knowing that Dumbledore has plans for me. I was told that my family is waiting for my return! Do you know what that means? That Dumbledore brought it up and asked if he could trust me? I'm going to be his pawn!” Regulus’ voice cracks. “And- and James is going to get hurt if he’s tied to me.”

“We have no idea what Dumbledore is going to do yet!” She shouts at him, standing up from her spot on his bed, gesturing with her hands. “Do not make decisions about your life and happiness based on that miserable old man! You cannot let him control your life!”

Regulus looks up at her, his vision swimming with tears. “How can I not? I feel like I’ve signed my life away to him at this point.”

Pandora’s face softens, and so does her voice. “Oh, Regulus. Regulus, no you haven't, I promise. You can do this. You can have this, and he can't take it away.”

Regulus just looks at her, unable to respond. She could be right. Dumbledore hasn't asked anything of him yet, besides his trust. That doesn't necessarily mean anything, Regulus tells himself. He's always been a bit paranoid, even when he was a kid, so maybe that's all this is. Maybe it’ll be fine. A tear falls from his eyes, making a steady trail down his face. 

“Oh, Reg, don't cry,” Barty moans, “I'm going to start crying too then.”

Laughter starts to bubble out of Regulus, and the tears start flowing. Pandora comes over and wraps him in her arms, squeezing tightly.

“Evan, Barty, get over here!” Pandora snaps, and the two boys rise, hugging her and Regulus.

“The real question,” Regulus hiccups, from the middle of them, “is what the fuck I'm going to tell Sirius about me and James.”

The three of them are silent for a second and then Barty roars with laughter. Within seconds, the four of them are laughing and laughing, holding each other tightly, and Regulus can taste the salt of his tears on his tongue and feel the warmth of his friends around him. One of these sensations is fleeting. He knows the other isn't.

-

Regulus doesn’t leave the dorm on Sunday. It’s not that he’s avoiding James, it’s just that he doesn’t want to see him. Not yet, anyway.

He’s still torn about what to do about the two of them, even though he knows he’s not going to stop what’s happening. He’s not strong enough, not good enough of a person to make the right choice in this situation. They’ve only kissed and Regulus knows. He knows he won't let go until he’s completely forced to, until someone pries James from his cold, pleading hands.

And what is the right choice, really, when Regulus has no idea what his future holds besides the inkling of paranoia inside of him? Would it be the right thing to do, to turn James away from him, out of fear and a warped sense of self-preservation? The longer these questions weigh on his mind, the more he believes that it wouldn’t be the right choice at all.

It’s fear that holds his doubts about James. He’ll be the first one to admit it. He’s always been the scared one in his life. Before James, he had never felt brave and never let himself be bold. Regulus has never had something like this entrusted to him. Something so pure and delicate and his entirely. He isn’t sure how to face it. Not today, at least. Tomorrow he will. He will.

He knows he can’t hide forever. No, he definitely can’t do that, because the whole issue within all of this is his desire to keep James safe and not let him get hurt. Avoiding James for longer than he’s going to today, would hurt him. James wouldn’t understand it.

As he burrows into his covers and shuts his eyes, he can perfectly imagine James in the Great Hall watching the entrance, waiting for Regulus. He can see him running his hand through his hair and attempting to feign casualness. Even that, just a version of James he’s dreamt up in his head, is enough for Regulus to resign himself to his choice. Enough for his chest to tighten with affection. 

He’s not going to stop anything. He’s going to have this, even if it’s just for a short while.

-

“You’re moping.”

James looks up from his spot on the dormitory floor to find Remus standing over him, his eyebrow raised.

“I’m not moping,” James grumbles, focusing on his book again. He’s been on the same page for about an hour, ever since dinner ended and he came upstairs.

“You are.” Remus retorts, nudging James’ leg with the toe of his trainer. “You mope about once a year, so it’s pretty noticeable when it happens.”

James can’t help but huff a laugh out at that. Remus is right. He’s not the mopey one of the group. It’s usually Sirius, or Remus himself.

“Bit rich coming from you.” James says, “You mope all the time.”

“Yes, well, even more reason for me to notice that you’re doing it. Also, you might mope more if you were a teenage werewolf.” Remus replies, moving to sit down next to him. He turns to James, taking the book from him. “What’s wrong?”

James looks back at Remus, considering. He is moping. It’s just that he doesn’t know if he can tell anyone why. James is also aware that it’s silly– what he’s moping about. He hasn’t seen Regulus since yesterday when he walked away after they ran into Sirius and Remus. He understands why he didn’t stick around to say goodbye, but it still left James feeling rather disappointed. Their kiss in the cellar wasn’t enough. James had wanted to kiss him goodnight. To make it all the more unbearable for James, Regulus wasn’t in the Great Hall for meals so he couldn’t even steal glances at him from the Gryffindor table. So, yeah, he’s moping. He misses Regulus. He’s a giant sap. Sue him.

“Nothing’s wrong, really, Moony,” James assures Remus with an easy smile. It’s clear that Remus doesn’t buy it.

“Okay, if nothing’s wrong, then who’s on your mind?”

James is quiet at that. How Remus even knew to ask, he’ll never know, but in addition to being the mopey one, Remus has always been the wise one. 

James doesn’t like lying to his friends, but he also doesn’t want to tell anyone anything before talking to Regulus. There’s also the part of him, the sensible part that rarely makes appearances, that knows he can’t just tell anyone about what’s going on. There are a lot of people at Hogwarts, and the general wizarding world, that would take issue with him and Regulus being involved like they are. Wizards and muggles aren’t too unalike in that way– not very keen on the whole queer thing, to put it lightly.

“It’s Regulus, isn’t it?”

“What?” James asks, disbelieving. Was he being that obvious?

“It’s Regulus you’re moping about, isn’t it?” Remus clarifies, tilting his head at James. “I mean, maybe I’m just reading into things too much, but… I don’t know. I just had a feeling that’s what this,” He gestures to James, “was all about.”

James and Remus look at each other and their gazes are heavy and James realizes that Remus knows. He looks for something in Remus’ eyes, something to warn him that he shouldn’t admit to it, but it isn’t there. He drops his eyes and sighs, fidgeting with his hands in his lap. “Yeah.” He whispers, “Yeah, it’s him.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Remus says, and James believes him.

“Thanks, Moony,” James replies, his voice still quiet. “I’m not moping because of something he did, I just–”

“You wanted to see him. I saw you, at dinner, looking for him. You kept glancing at the entrance and the Slytherin table like you might have missed something. I've noticed you looking at him for weeks now.”

“You’re too bloody observant, Remus.” James groans, his head falling back against the bed. “I can’t get anything past you.”

Remus laughs, his eyes twinkling, but doesn’t say anything. Things are quiet between the two of them for a few moments until Remus says, “I get it, you know. How you feel.”

“You do?” 

“Yeah, James, I do.”

-

James has always been a bit impatient, there’s no denying that. He’s an only child and grew up with doting parents who never made him wait for what he wanted. Even so, he’s never been quite as impatient as he is today, waiting for his rounds with Regulus to begin.

He was able to steal a few glances here and there, in the corridors and during meals, but seeing him, their eyes meeting and James watching a blush bloom across Regulus’ face, it wasn’t enough. If anything, it only made things worse for James. Made him want to be alone with him more.

So, when rounds finally roll around, James is practically bouncing with anticipation as he waits for Regulus to get there. They’re patrolling the upper half of the castle today and James has heard rumors from the older students about a secret room up there, one that comes and goes, only presenting itself when it’s needed. He isn’t sure where it is exactly, but he wants the two of them to try and find it tonight so they can be alone. James isn’t plotting anything, he just thinks Regulus would appreciate the privacy of it all, even if they just talk. 

When James gets to their meeting spot, Regulus is there, waiting for him and he looks so– pretty. He’s standing there, leaning against the stone wall, full lips pulled into a slight frown as he reads his book. He’s like a piece of art made especially for James. He can’t help but grin.

“Hey, Reg,” James smiles, his stomach fluttering as he gets closer. 

Regulus looks up, and it’s like James has never seen him before, the reaction he has. Regulus’ eyes meet his and they’re so beautiful that he feels his breath catch. James hasn't met anyone with eyes like Regulus’ before– grey and green at the same time– and he loves them. He wants to lose himself in them.

“James,” Regulus greets, and then like magic, he smiles, his mouth opening like a gift.

“I missed you,” James blurts. He can’t help it, he really can’t. His mum always says that he wears his heart on his sleeve, and in moments like these he knows she’s right.

“You’re ridiculous.” Regulus laughs, not taking his eyes off James. “I missed you too.”

And, oh, when Regulus says that, James feels like he might be able to fly. Like, just lift off and fly into the air. He needs to kiss Regulus.

“Can we go somewhere?” 

“Where do you want to go? I’d rather we don’t hike to Honeydukes again, but yeah. Let’s go somewhere. I’d prefer to be alone with you than standing out in this corridor.” Regulus says, and James glows.

“There’s supposed to be a room up here somewhere that only presents itself when needed. It’s hidden otherwise. Maybe we can find it?”

“The Room of Requirement?” Regulus questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Er- yeah, I guess so. Have you been?”

Regulus laughs again, just a little bit. “No, James, I’ve read Hogwarts: A History. It’s mentioned. I don’t know if we’ll find it tonight, though.”

“If we both act like we really need it, then we will,” James assures him, with a grin on his face.

-

“Well,” Regulus admits, “That was a lot easier than I thought it would be.”

They’re standing in the Room of Requirement, or the Come-and-Go Room as James keeps referring to it. It’s not really what Regulus was expecting, to be honest. It looks a bit like the sitting room at Potter Cottage.

“It’s brilliant, don't you think?” James asks, his eyes shining with excitement. “This is so bloody cool, Reg.”

Regulus smiles at James’ excitement. It is quite amazing that they found it, and that the castle can produce a room like this. He wonders what it took to create and maintain it since Hogwarts’ founding.

“C’mon,” James urges, grabbing Regulus’ hand and pulling him towards the sofas in the middle of the room. “Let’s sit down.”

They sit, James sprawled out and leaning against the arm of the sofa, Regulus sitting cross-legged, facing him.

“I’ve been going mad all day waiting to see you. Longest day of my life,” James tells him, smiling brightly.

Regulus flushes immediately, groaning. It’s getting embarrassing, frankly, how much James makes him blush. He covers his face, peeking at James through his fingers. “You can’t just say stuff like that, James.”

“Like what?” He laughs, scooting closer to Regulus. “It’s the truth. I don’t think it was just the waiting though, I think I’m just mad about you in general.”

Regulus feels his chest tighten, the weight of James’ affections sitting there. He doesn’t mind. He welcomes it, actually. He buries his face in James’ shoulder, attempting to hide his red cheeks.

“Reg,” James says, wrapping his arms around him, “Don’t hide. I like it when you blush. I think that’s how I first started to notice you, really. All the blushing you’d do around me”

That just makes Regulus blush harder. “Really?” His voice muffled from being pressed into the crook of James’ neck.

“Yes, really,” James affirms, and Regulus can feel him nodding. “You were so shy, I don’t think I would’ve picked up on it otherwise.”

Regulus hums in response. He thinks that’s probably true. When he’s at home, at Grimmauld Place, that is, he doesn’t blush at all, hardly reacts really. That’s because he practices some juvenile form of Occlumency though. He hasn’t done that in a while, hasn’t needed to. Hasn’t even wanted to. It feels good to feel things that aren’t trying to hurt you.

“Reg, look at me.” James nudges him, and Regulus peels himself off of James, their faces only inches apart.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispers. Regulus nods.

And they kiss, and kiss, and kiss, and the warmth of the sun fills Regulus again, the pieces inside of him growing brighter.

When they pull apart, breathless and puffy-lipped, they’re both smiling and Regulus can’t believe this is happening. Can’t believe he gets to have James like this. He’s a fool for thinking he could ever say no to this.

“I told Remus,” James says, his voice still quiet from before.

Regulus freezes. He wasn’t expecting that.

“I told Pandora.” He pauses, considering. “And Barty. And Evan.”

James breaks out into laughter, throwing his head back, “Oh, Reg, I didn’t take you for someone who kisses and tells. Is that everyone?”

“Yes,” Regulus replies, biting back a smile. He starts to chew his bottom lip, “Did you tell Sirius?”

“No,” James responds immediately. “I didn’t. I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

For some reason, that takes Regulus’ breath away. The fact that James considered him and his feelings, and what he would want, even before Sirius. He feels chosen. He doesn’t feel that way very often.

“You were right,” Regulus says, “I don’t want you to. Not yet.”

“Okay.” James nods, “Not yet. That’s okay. Whenever you’re ready.”

Regulus wonders if that’s true- if he’d wait until Regulus was ready, even if he never was. Right now, it feels like he would. 

Regulus isn’t sure what to say, so he just kisses James again, pushing him back onto the sofa so he can press himself against him. He pulls back, pressing a soft kiss on James' lips before lying down, settling into him. James wraps an arm around Regulus, pulling him close and dropping a kiss on the top of his head.

“Thank you,” Regulus whispers to him.