I Just Sit Here and Wait
September 1st, 1976
Regulus is desperately trying to keep his cool as he walks down the platform with Sirius, Alastor Moody, and the Potters. He can feel stares on him, but he keeps his eyes forward, shoulders back, and his head held high. Old habits die hard. People can talk all they want, but Regulus won’t be giving them anything else to discuss.
Mr. and Mrs. Potter hug all of them goodbye, and Moody stays until the train leaves. Mrs. Potter even manages to get a kiss on Regulus’ cheek before she goes.
“If you need anything, Regulus, anything at all, you let me know. Write, okay, sweetheart?” Euphemia says earnestly. It causes a pang in Regulus’ chest, but he nods. She's done so much for him already, the least he can do is be agreeable.
As he enters the Hogwarts Express, he realizes he doesn't know where to go. He isn't sure how he'll be received by his housemates, and he hasn't received post from any of his friends over the summer. That being said, he hasn't told any of them about his change of address or what happened with his family.
“Regulus, c’mon, we sit this way,” says Sirius, beckoning him towards a train carriage. James disappears inside, and Regulus can vaguely hear Lupin and Pettigrew’s voices from inside.
Just as he’s about to step forward, a hand slips in his and he turns, getting a face full of white-blonde hair.
“Regulus!” Pandora breathes, “I’m so delighted to see you!”
Regulus sighs in relief at the sight of her. He forgot how much he missed his friends.
“Pandora," He starts, but she cuts him off.
“Oh, don't even start. I’ll lecture you about your lack of response to my letters later. Come, Evan and Barty are waiting down in that carriage,” She says, pointing vaguely in the distance opposite of Sirius.
He looks back at his brother, who has been joined by James in the doorway to their compartment. James’ eyes are trained on Regulus and Pandora’s hands, still clasped together. Sirius nods at him, and Regulus casts one last glance at James, but he's already turning around and heading back into the compartment.
-
“Okay, are you going to tell us what the hell is going on or are we just pretending everything is normal?” Barty says once Regulus has sat down.
Regulus laughs humorlessly, putting his face in his hands, “I don't know.” He peers at his friends from between his fingers, “I don't know what's going on.”
Evan and Pandora look at him, concern evident in both their faces.
“Mate, c’mon. Just give a summary at least. You know the pureblood rumor mill, people have been saying some crazy shit. We haven't been able to figure out what's real all month.” Evan says, eyeing Regulus meaningfully.
Regulus sighs. Barty is sprawled out on the compartment cushion, tossing a Remembrall up and down into the air. Pandora is twirling her hair anxiously.
“I got kicked out.”
Barty scoffs, “Yeah, we've gathered as much, seeing as you arrived with the bleeding hearts club this afternoon. Are you going to tell us why?”
“Barty,” Pandora says warningly.
Regulus surveys his friends. He knows he can trust them, but he's still wary to tell them exactly what happened. Also, Regulus isn't exactly skilled in the field of feelings. He sighs again, knowing this isn't something they'll drop.
"Where's Dorcas?" he asks, hoping to hold them off a bit longer.
"She's not getting to school until next week, her family is still traveling," Evan tells him. Regulus nods, opening his mouth to ask another question about her, when Barty cuts him off.
"Alright, cut the shit. Regulus, what the bloody hell happened? Why did you get kicked out?" He looks between Evan and Regulus with a frustrated look on his face. Barty has never been good about sensitivity. To be honest, Regulus usually appreciates that about him, seeing as he's typically the same way.
"Barty!" Pandora protests. She's always been protective of Regulus. She, on the other hand, has always been good about the sensitivity thing.
"What? Are you kidding me? Like, have you lot actually lost the plot?" Barty questions, incredulously. "I've spent the last month with no fucking clue what happened to one of my best friends or where exactly he is. I'm not going to pretend that this isn't happening."
Evan chimes in, "Pandora, he's right. We've been waiting. Not all of us know everything like you do, and since it's an "invasion of privacy" to give us any details..." he trails off with an eye roll.
Pandora lets out a huff, crossing her arms and turning back to Regulus, raising her eyebrows. Ugh, alright, Regulus thinks. He turns his attention to Barty, since he was the only one bold enough to actually ask.
“They asked me to swear allegiance to the family. To the Dark Lord. They got out the Veritaserum,” Regulus says, maintaining eye contact with him, “Let’s just say it didn't pan out how they wanted.”
Barty’s face changes then. He goes pale. Pandora’s hair twirling pauses, and Evan looks like someone just knocked the wind out of him.
“What did they do to you?” Evan whispers. Like they'll hear him.
Regulus shifts uncomfortably, looking out at the countryside as the train speeds by. He weighs his words. This is the second time he's had to retell this, but it's not as hard with his friends.
“Crucio. A few punches.” Regulus attempts to say nonchalantly, but Pandora’s sharp intake of breath causes his walls to come down a bit. Her reaction surprises Regulus, but he never has been sure just how much she can see. He feels his hands shaking as the night replays in his head.
“How bad?”
That's Barty again. Straight to the point, as usual.
“It was bad,” Regulus’ voice shakes slightly, “When they were done… they just left me there. Narcissa found me. I had- I had passed out. Lost control of everything.” He looks at his friends, hoping they don't make him say what he means. “I was bleeding everywhere. My nose, my ears. I didn’t even know Cruciatus did that, to be honest."
“But how did you get to the Potter’s? Did you call for Sirius?” Evan asks.
Regulus swallows, “No. I didn't. You can't- you can't tell anyone this. I know you won't, but,” He closes his eyes, “Narcissa told Kreacher to take me to them.” One of them takes a sharp inhale of breath in. He isn't sure who. Does it really matter?
“James’ mum took care of me, healed me. I've been living there ever since.” He tells them between gritted teeth.
“Damn,” Barty says, “Your parents have got to be bloody pissed.”
Regulus hears the sound of someone smacking him, Barty inhaling sharply.
“They haven't contacted you?” Pandora asks gently.
“No,” Regulus opens his eyes, meeting her blue ones, “I don't know that I want them to. Like I said, I don't know what's happening.”
-
When the train arrives in Hogsmeade, the anxiety of seeing the rest of his housemates begins to set in. He hadn't thought to ask Barty, Pandora, or Evan what they had heard through the "pureblood rumor mill" , and it's too late now. Unless, of course, he wants others to hear them.
Regulus gets his trunk down slowly, trying to buy time. He’s hoping to avoid the crowds. His friends are being surprisingly patient. Usually Barty is complaining about being starving by this time. He knows they’re doing it for him. He appreciates it, he really does. He probably won't tell them that, but they know. Regulus thinks they know.
Eventually, there’s no time left to waste, so the four of them emerge from the compartment together. The hallways are empty, and Regulus lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“You’re fine, mate,” Evan says, “I watched Mulciber and the rest of them get off a few minutes ago. Doubt anyone else will bother you just yet.”
Regulus nods, gripping his trunk in one hand and his wand in the other.
“Honestly, I’d like it if someone tried to mess with you already. I’m bored. Itching to see a fight,” Barty laughs, “Or start one.”
Pandora smacks him upside the head, “Really, Barty. Try to have some civility.”
Barty yelps out in pain, but is laughing quietly to himself as Pandora stalks ahead of him with Regulus.
As they approach the carriages, Regulus spots Mulciber and Snape waiting by the one closest to their group. Regulus stays casual. Something about those two is that they love a reaction. They're pretty easy to rile up as well, so bumping into them is kind of like a time bomb, especially when Barty is around. Or James and Sirius. Someone's going to blow. Regulus just never knows who it'll be first.
"Barty," Pandora says, "You better be ready for this after all that talk."
Barty looks to Pandora, his conversation with Evan ending immediately as he spots their housemates. He straightens up and rolls his shoulders back. He's always been the tallest, toughest one of the group. Well, there is Dorcas, but she's not here at the moment. Regulus finds himself wishing even more than before that she was. Mulciber and Snape always seem to follow some kind of pureblood social rule with her, being that she's a girl and all.
"We outnumber them by double! They can't possibly try anything," Evan hisses.
"Don't underestimate them," Regulus mutters, "Constant vigilance."
Evan and Barty shoot him a bewildered look before Barty yells out, "Good evening, Lads. Waiting up for us? How sweet."
Mulciber and Snape look Barty up and down, evident disgust on Snape's face. Mulciber just smiles, his yellow teeth baring like fangs.
"Waiting on you? Not so much," he says, "Little Prince Black over there? Yeah, I'd like a word."
Regulus stiffens, holding his wand tightly in his fist. He's good at dueling, there's no question about it. He also knows more dark spells than Mulciber can probably name, thanks to his bits of training with Bellatrix over the summer. That doesn't mean he wants to fight, though. In fact, he'd rather not. He'd like to stay under the radar, at least for a few days, thank you very much.
"Sorry boys," Pandora says primly, "Words with the Prince are by appointment only." She smiles widely, but her eyes aren't friendly.
Mulciber grips his wand and is about to respond when a voice booms out, " 'Ey! All of yeh! Move along now! No funny business!"
They all turn to see Hagrid, the gamekeeper, walking towards them, a massive black dog by his side.
"Black! Malfoy!" Hagrid shouts, "Get in tha' carriage there! The rest of yeh, the other. Go on then!"
"Why on God's green earth do I have to ride with them?!" Barty asks, exasperated. Evan rolls his eyes and pushes him forward.
"No arguin', Crouch! Or I'll be tellin' Slughorn you were mouthin' off!
Regulus laughs under his breath. Climbing into the carriage with Pandora as Evan and Barty grumble and get into their own with Mulciber and Snape.
"Rather odd, don't you think?" Pandora asks once they're moving steadily towards the castle. She seems a bit shaken by the events.
Regulus shrugs. No odder than anything else he's experienced recently. Relatively harmless, really.
-
“Have you been spending much time with Sirius?” Pandora asks quietly. “Or James?”
They’re sitting at the Slytherin table, waiting for the first years to arrive so that the Sorting and feast can begin. Evan and Barty are sitting a few seats away, chatting with some of the fourth years at the table. Regulus glances at Pandora out of the corner of his eye. Again, he’s never really sure how much she can see on her own.
“No,” Regulus mutters, “It wasn’t really a social affair for me.”
“Oh, really?” Pandora asks innocently. “Not at all?”
Regulus is quiet for a moment. There’s a few things he could say right now, but most of them wouldn’t satisfy Pandora. He doesn’t really care, though, so he says, “No. Just revised, read a bit.”
“Did you read all by yourself?” She questions.
Regulus lets out a frustrated sigh at that. “Really Pandora, if there’s something you’d like to ask, I’d prefer you just come out with it. I’m not interested in playing your Seer guessing games.”
Pandora laughs, “Oh, I’m sorry, Regulus. I guess I’ll be the one to come out with it. How did your time spent with James Potter go?”
Regulus rolls his eyes at her comment. A few emotions flicker through his head as he thinks about his response. Really, there’s not much to tell. He barely spoke to James, but still, it feels a little bit like something. He wonders if it is something since Pandora is bothering to ask, and was actually attempting to be coy about it.
“It was fine. Quite uneventful, in fact.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. Maybe you’ll have more to tell me after the next time you see him,” Pandora says sweetly.
Now she has his attention. He turns to look at the blonde, narrowing his eyes, “And what might you mean by that?”
“Oh, nothing,” She murmurs, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “He is rather fit though, isn’t he? I wouldn’t mind spending a summer at his house.”
Regulus laughs a little bit at that. Pandora is ridiculous, and indulging him, he knows. He knows that’s all it is.
At the sound of Dumbledore clearing his throat, he looks up, catching the back of James' head as he moves to sit down next to Pettigrew at the Gryffindor table, leaning in towards Sirius. Regulus turns his attention to the front of the Great Hall and finds Dumbledore looking right at him. When their eyes meet, there's no warmth there. No twinkle in those deep blue eyes. Regulus knows a look like that. He's seen it on his mother's face plenty of times. Dumbledore is thinking, calculating. Regulus doesn't know what, and isn't sure that he wants to.
Just as soon as their eyes met, Dumbledore looks away, smiling out at the sea of students and beginning his speech. The pit that constantly rests in Regulus' stomach grows deeper. He thinks back to something his father once said to him. Men in power don't offer help without expecting something in return, mon chou, he had whispered to Regulus as Walburga left the room following a meeting with the Dark lord, Think before accepting such a thing. Being in debt to someone is one of the worst things a person can do.
Regulus looks down at his plate, the sound of Dumbledore's voice being drowned out by his own thoughts. How does that old man plan to collect Regulus' debts?