Chapter 3
„It's the first week of school and I'm already falling behind“, Evan complains to his two friends.
It‘s a chill Friday afternoon and the Slytherins have made themselves comfortable under a tree. Regulus is leaning against the tree, reading his newest book. Barty is sitting next to him and Evan is lying on the grass with his head resting in Barty‘s lap.
„Oh shut up, Rosier. If anyone is gonna nail those N.E.W.T.s, it‘s you.“ Regulus clears his throat to which Barty groans. „And you Reg, but we already knew you were a genius.“
„It cannot be emphasised often enough.“ He turns to the next page of his book, at this rate he would probably finish it this weekend, much to his delight.
Barty gives him an odd look. „What‘s up with you and this entire Occlument stuff anyway? It‘s all you‘ve been reading about since school started again.“
Regulus closes his book with a dramatic flourish. „It‘s Occlumency and I‘m planning on learning it this year.“
„Isn‘t that some high level magic shit? I’ve heard my father talking about it before. Why in Merlin‘s name are you trying to teach yourself that? Aren’t you busy enough with the preparation for the N.E.W.T.s and the Quidditch team?“, Evan points out. „If you are underworked, you can always do my homework in addition.“
Regulus let’s out a laugh. „What I need is a challenge. Doing you‘re homework won’t benefit me, learning some, as you called it, high level magic shit on the other hand will.“
Barty grins. "Did you hear that Evan? Black doesn't think Hogwarts is demanding enough for him and needs a new challenge. With that attitude, he should also volunteer to clean our room. Maybe then his thirst for new challenges will be quenched.“
„Agreed. After picking up your dirty underwear from the floor, he'll wish he'd just simply done my homework.“ Barty gives Evan, who is still resting on his lap, a light slap to the head. "If anything, it's your dirty underwear.“
„Yeah, just tell yourself that.“
Regulus shakes his head. His friends are idiots. „I don’t know why I keep spending time with you,“ he mutters.
„Because you love us, Reggie.“ Barty exclaims immediately. „And we are the only people you can endure long enough.“
„That’s right. You've just spent so much time with us, you've built up a tolerance.“ They give each other a high five.
„Idiots, morons, fools. What have I done to deserve you?“ But Regulus can’t stop himself from smiling. Maybe Evan was right he he did build up a tolerance.
Later, after the friends spent some more time with pointlessly chatting and joking around, they get up to go to the Great Hall for dinner. Regulus separates from his friends on the way because he wants to take his book back to the Slytherin dorm rooms first.
He walks alone through the dark corridors of the dungeon to get to the common room. „A few more lights really wouldn't hurt anyone“, he mumbles as he walks through a particularly dark corridor. It's not that Regulus doesn't like the dark, but he prefers to see where he's going nevertheless.
Suddenly he hears a voice coming from behind his back. „One would expect you to enjoy the darkness in particular, Black.“ Regulus doesn’t even have to turn around to recognize who is speaking. He's heard that deep, calm voice far too often this week for his liking.
„Are you following me, McKinnon?“ He looks back at him. Dean is standing at the beginning of the hallway, seemingly he just walked around the corner.
As Regulus he is wearing more casual clothing than his school uniform, which is in his case still a sweater in bright Gryffindor colours. Regulus wouldn’t admit it out loud it suit him, the brightness of it accentuate his light hair well. Even in the dark light of the dungeons, it almost looks as if he has a natural glow.
„You're really overestimating your importance Black. My life doesn’t evolve around you.“ He gives him a smug grin and the anger boils up in Regulus. Where does this Gryffindor take the right to talk to him like that from?
He takes a few steps towards McKinnon. „Well, what are you doing here? The only room nearby is the Slytherin common room and I do not recall this being your house. Or did you have some sort of secret rendezvous down here?“
The dungeons were famously used for make out sessions between students. You could hide easily in the dark corners and not many people passed by, perfect if you wanted some privacy you couldn’t get in the shared dorm rooms.
Judging by Dean's embarrassed look, he didn't have the wrong idea. Oh, this could be interesting, Regulus steps even closer so that the two of them are directly facing each other.
„So, who is the lucky girl?“ He watches with a smirk as Dean slowly backs away and now stands pressed against the wall.
„There is no lucky girl.“
„Oh, you‘re so bad at kissing?“ He could see Dean‘s face flushing for a moment before he seemingly found his annoying Gryffindor confidence again. „Why do you care, Black? You wanna find out?“
„I‘ll pass, McKinnon.“ Regulus tries not to show any outward expression, but Dean's response is causing him a lot of inner turmoil. Concentrate, he tells himself.
Without even thinking about it, he moves even closer to Dean. For the second time this week, they are so close that they can feel each other's breath.
„Now tell me about this mysterious girl.“ He couldn’t care less about who was hooking up with someone like Dean McKinnon but watching him getting flustered just at the mention of this person was worth it.
„Like I said, there is no girl. I‘m not sure what kind of fantasies you‘re trying to project on me but it‘s just me down here.“
Regulus exhales slowly. „I‘m not projecting anything on you and I really don‘t like your implications.“
„What implications?“, Dean grins smugly at him, knowing exactly what Regulus means.
„You know what implications and while I don‘t give a fuck what some blood traitor in Gryffindor thinks of me.“ Dean stiffens up at the last words. „We don‘t want the wrong people to hear the wrong rumors, do we?“
„But the more interesting question I have now is, is there any truth to those rumors? Otherwise you wouldn’t worry about who is listening to them, wouldn’t you?“
Their faces are very close at this point, but to Regulus's own surprise, he doesn't feel the need to back down yet. It‘s a dangerous game that he is playing, Regulus is aware. If Dean decided to use any of this conversation against him, it could end bad for him. Even just continuing this conversation went against everything Regulus acted on.
But there was something to it, that makes Regulus not wanting to stop. Something about Dean gives him the feeling that he can keep playing this game. It's dangerous and careless, but the drill of it all won't let him go.
„And what if there is? What are you going to do about it?“ Regulus rests his right hand on the wall, right next to Dean's head.
Dean barely noticeably shakes his head. "Not everyone's out to get you, Regulus.“ His voice sounds gentle, almost as if he is trying to soothe him.
Not much to Regulus's liking . „How would you now? You are no one compared to me. My family is the Noble and Most Ancient House of Blacks, your family is…“ Dean interrupts him. „You better not finish the next sentence. I couldn’t care less if you call me a blood traitor or worse, but don’t speak about my family.“
All the softness of his voice is gone.
„Oh, poor McKinnon. You don‘t want me to speak about your family? Calling them what they are? Filthy blood traitors and mud…“ Regulus doesn‘t get to finish his sentence. In shock, he brings his hand to his burning cheek. Dean has slapped him.
„You bastard, you will regret this, I swear to Merlin.“ Dean himself looks shocked by what he has just done. Nevertheless, he doesn't look a bit guilty. He just shakes his head slowly. „I warned you, Black."
Regulus draws his wand and points it at Dean's chest. „You can't even fight like a real wizard, you goddamn blood traitor."
„Mr Black? Mr McKinnon? What in Merlin's name is going on here?“, it‘s the voice of Slughorn, who apparently ran into them on his way to his office.
Regulus quickly puts his wand back in his robe. "You won‘t be this lucky next time," he whispers in Dean's direction before turning to the professor with his brightest smile.
„Ah Professor, you've just interrupted us. I was about to show Dean how to use Petrificus Totalus properly. You know, he still fails at that sometimes.“
It's a cheap and obvious lie. Combined with Regulus' red cheek, there's really no chance anyone would buy it. At least not someone like McGonagall. Slughorn, on the other hand, would do the devil to contradict a Black unless it was absolutely necessary. Being in their favour meant more to him than doing his job properly.
„Is that true Dean?“ Regulus can hear him huffing angrily, but he doesn’t argue and nods. At best, they would both be punished and neither of them wanted that. „My lab partner was really just teaching me some spells. You know him, always helpful.“
Slughorn has a sceptical look on his face, but as Regulus predicted, he simply ignores the blatant lie.
°°°
„Concentration Regulus. With that attitude, you will never learn.“ Alphard looks down at him with an almost annoyed expression. Regulus himself is lying curled up on the floor. His cheeks are wet with tears he hadn't even realised were coming
For almost an hour now, or was it more, he has lost his sense of time, Alphard has been training him in Occlumency.
Needless to say, but it didn't go very well. At a certain point, Regulus' childhood memories took over and he couldn't even try to protect his mind.
„And you want to fool the Dark Lord.“ His uncle laughs derisively.
„Give me another chance“, Regulus demands while slowly picking himself up from the floor. He pulls himself up from his chair, exhausted. His whole body hurts, but he can't show any more weakness.
His uncle gives him a sceptical look, but points his wand at him nonetheless. „Legilimens“, he whispers and the horror starts again.
He is back at Grimmauld Place, his mother is screaming at him. He did something wrong, brought shame over their family.
Different scenario, still at Grimmauld Place, this time it‘s the first time she used a Cruciatus on him. He was eight and spilled his water at dinner over.
New memory, now he is sitting on the stairs, hiding behind the banister. You can hear Sirius and their mother shouting at each other from below. Then just Sirius screaming in pain and Walpurga laughing maliciously.
In the next moment he‘s older, maybe thirteen and is standing in the Hogwarts library behind a bookshelf. You can hear the voice of his Sirius. „You know what James. I‘m glad that you are my brother. I couldn‘t be any luckier.“
Now he is sitting with Barty and Evan in the Slytherin common room, they’re fourteen. Barty is telling some story about a girl he hooked up with, there is a weird feeling of jealousy in his guts.
More and more memories flood his mind. Pain, fear, loneliness and anger, he feels everything and nothing. He can hear screaming in the background, only later does he realise that it is his own.
Eventually, everything turns black.