red means so much
“let her go.” I say walking forward slightly Barty gives me a look and smirks “Oh did I touch what I wasn’t supposed to?” He grasped your wrist tighter as the rain that came suddenly hit the open ground I stared while standing there “I'll give you her back but first” Barty started as he turned towards her and whispered back and forth till he gave an ominous smile and quickly let go and wiped his hand “good.” He turned towards me with the same smile and swiftly walked away as I stared at Catherine “Are you alright?” more of a murmur as I watched her come closer she nodded as she walked past me the rain still coming little hits of water on my skin as moonlight shining down on us as my eyes follow her my mouth opens and closes but words can’t seem to find the hole to leave so I continue to study you as you stand still rain hitting your pale skin black hair flying around as you just stand there a hum comes from you….
Humming comes out as all I want to do is run
I feel trapped as I stand there
A house I go to every summer, not a home
So I wander through these nights drinks in hand as I'm desperate to leave
You here makes wanna spill out everything to you
No lies
No hiding
But if you knew where I was walking you wouldn't take my word for it if you knew who was talking
Fake friends and fake smiles hurt as they shine so bright even if it's fake
And damn I could’ve never hurt myself but they never let me go
Fighting and pushing
I regret it all the time
They live for the thrill of hurting me
Deeply and even in death
They won’t let me rest
I fight with them even in sleep
I miss when was
Years of tearing me down and taking
I want myself back
Even when older
Memories will feel like weapons
I damn sure would’ve never made a deal with them if I knew
“ GIVE ME BACK MY GIRLHOOD, IT WAS MINE FIRST! YOU CANT FUCKING TAKE THAT AWAY” Fighting with them is a pain in heaven as they laugh and continue to harm me
Even now I can picture it I might be okay but I'm not fine at all “We didn’t take that from you, sweetheart. You gave it to us” he said pulling my hair back as blood was on my skin some dried others fresh “oh am I hurting you? Im sorry” sarcasm dripped from his voice as my eyes got hazy “aw come on, darling don’t leave just yet we are just getting started” his voice rings through my mind every time he double-crosses my mind
Maybe we were scared
Maybe you hurt me
And maybe you haunt me
But every time I hear your name I remember all the nights you made me your own and loved me and every time I remember the dress you kept
Red
The dress was red your favorite
I remember it all that day and did the twin bruise paint you blue?
It was rare you remembered but
Just between us, I remember it
I was there and yet…. It feels like you weren’t so as I hum a song you come to mind as the wind blows my hair
-rewritten 10/9/23