All the words I never said to you (scrapped)

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Multi
G
All the words I never said to you (scrapped)
Summary
Regulus runs away during the summer before his fifth year and finds himself at James Potter's house, begging for help. What will happen when he has to share a bed with the golden boy for three weeks?edit 06/24: sorry guys, I'm officially scrapping this fic 3
Note
TW for mentions of abuse and death, panic attacks, blacking out, broken bones. Starting off angsty but oh well lol 🤷♂️
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2

Regulus had spent the rest of the summer in that house- safe, and warm. He had spent the rest of the summer sharing a room (and bed) with James and being flustered every time that James walked around half dressed (no shirt) in the mornings.

He practiced quidditch with James and got to witness sweaty, post-quidditch James in person, instead of from the sidelines or other side of the pitch.

The daily routine was simple; wake up with James, have breakfast, lounge around and have fun all day, then it was time for bed again. As much as Regulus loved it, it was definitely a big change and spending almost all of his time with James without being able to do anything made him want to die.

So, Regulus took advantage of being in a muggle village and would find muggle boys to take his mind off of James Potter. One of these boys had introduced him to "cigarettes". They were a muggle thing and Regulus had decided that he loved them, almost as much as he loved James.

Regulus learnt where he could buy them and spent all of his muggle money on them. They helped him de-stress from life and James. He would sneak out at night to smoke. One night in the last week before school started, he was out particularly late. He was smoking and staring up at the sky, admiring the stars and moon, when he heard the back door open.

He panicked and quickly threw the cigarette onto the floor and stamped it out. He heard a laugh behind him and turned to face them. It was Remus Lupin.

Remus had sandy blonde hair and brown eyes. Remus had long, dark scars all over his face and body. Regulus hadn't really spoken one on one to Lupin all summer. This wasn't for a particular reason, but they just didn't seem to have much in common.

Regulus narrowed his eyes at the boy, "What are you laughing for, Lupin?" Remus consoled himself and then answered, "You don't have to stamp out your cigarette unless it's Effie or Fleamont, you know?" 

"I didn't know that it was you, did I? I just panicked, I didn't know if Sirius would get mad."

"Maybe, but if he did, he'd just be a hypocrite. Actually, if any of us other than Peter were to get mad at you, we'd be hypocrites."

Regulus realized that this meant that James smoked, too. Muggles say they can be bad for you, Regulus doesn't want James to use them if they could hurt him, but then he'd be a hypocrite too.

Remus was talking again, "Where'd you get them, anyways? I haven't had any all summer, I feel like I'm going insane." Regulus was thinking. If he told Remus how he actually got them, he'd be coming out. Surely Remus wouldn't care, right? Fuck it.

"I met this boy. He bought some for me. And gave me a 'fake ID', some muggle thing, use it to buy cigs at the pub, cos you have to be 18." Remus smirked at him and rolled his eyes.

"You Black Brothers," He chuckled, "You and your charm." He looked up at Regulus, "You know, Sirius used his charm on the barmaid at the Broomsticks and now he gets beer from her every Hogsmeade trip."

Not a surprise, Regulus thought, it's that bloody hair. He looked up at Remus, "It's definitely the hair." Remus chuckled, "Oh, definitely."

Regulus pulled out his carton of cigarettes and offered one to Remus, but he shook his head and pulled out a little tin, "I have something a little stronger." Regulus raised his eyebrows, he had heard about muggle drugs but had never had the pleasure of interacting with them.

Regulus laughed, "How can you get weed but you're not able to get cigarettes?" 

"You see Baby Black, your brother has his charm, I have my tricks." He said nothing else as he rolled his spliff and put it in his mouth, Regulus leaned over and lit it for him.

Remus took a large inhale and exhaled it, looking instantly less tense. He offered one to Regulus and he took it, inhaling it as if it was a cigarette, but it wasn't, so he coughed slightly before exhaling it. Remus giggled slightly before taking the spliff back between his two fingers.

The two stood there, leant up against the house, and shared the spliff until it was finished. Regulus definitely felt weird, but he didn't know how being high was supposed to feel.

"Remus, j'ai très faim, on devrait aller chercher quelque chose à manger." But he found himself speaking French instead. Remus looked at him, amused, "Oh my god, Sirius did that the first time he got high as well. For some reason he just forgot how to speak English for a second. It was so ho-" Regulus put his hands on his ears, he did not need to hear about Remus Lupin's turn ons considering his brother.

Regulus tried again, "What I said was, I'm really hungry, we should go find something to eat."

"Yeah, I'm also quite hungry, it's the weed by the way, does that to you." Regulus nodded. They headed into town, in search of somewhere still open. They found an off license and Regulus used his fake ID to buy booze along with their food, because what's a 2 person party without alcohol? 

They wandered around Godric's Hollow for a while before slowly making their way back to the Potter's house.

By the time Regulus and Remus finally made their way upstairs to their respective rooms, Regulus was so drunk and high, that it was almost impossible for him to speak coherent English, and he had the giggles. He stumbled into his and James's shared room. It was probably midnight by now, and usually James would be asleep, and today was no different.

Regulus turned the light on and kicked his shoes off clumsily. He went over to the wardrobe and grabbed his pajamas. He had to sit on the floor to change because he was so unstable. And then James woke up.

"Reggie? Is that you." And oh, he loved James so much. "Reggie, are you alright?" James leant over to reach for his glasses and put them on. James took the sight he saw before him; Regulus with his hair all messy, half undressed on the floor, and something reeked. It reeked of- "Regulus are you high?" How did Regulus get his hands on weed? 

Regulus giggled. How could James be mad at Regulus when his giggles sounded like that? They were warm, and bright. James would walk on hot coals to be able to hear Regulus' laugh again.

"'m not jus' high, Je suis ivre aussi, Jamie." And oh, oh. Because James now understood why Remus loved it when Sirius spoke French. Wait.

"You're drunk?" James didn't know a lot of French, but he knew that one. When Sirius is entirely hammered, it's easier to speak to him in French than it is English. James tried to subside the feeling of fear that currently bubbling up in his gut. "Reggie, es-tu blessé?"

Regulus stopped what he was doing (James thinks he was trying to dress himself, but it wasn't going very well) and answered, "Non, je vais bien, Jamie." James visibly relaxed at this.

He was choosing to ignore the 'Jamie' parts, because Regulus was out of his mind right now. James shot him a weary smile. 

"Let's get you to bed, shall we?" James approached Regulus and began to help him change. "Regulus, you need to change your trousers. I'll turn around."

James turned and stared at a spot on his wall while he let Regulus change his trousers.

Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. The word was ringing in his head over and over. James had already realized that he was the only person Regulus allowed to call him Reg. James thought that "Jamie" was an absolutely adorable name for Regulus to call him, but it was most likely the alcohol in his system.

"Jamie, you can look, mon amour." James froze. He wasn't fluent in French- that was for sure- but he knew that one. Sirius says it to Remus sometimes. James turned and saw Regulus sat on the floor and now in his pyjamas. James smiled.

"Thank you, reg. Now lets get you into bed shall we?" But James soon found out that intoxicated Reggie's favourite thing to do is complain and refuse to do what he's asked/told.

So, thirty minutes later, James had finally managed to get Regulus into bed and promptly fell asleep right next to him, the bed and room an absolute mess from Reg putting up a fight before getting into bed.

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