Chapter 1
James' heart twinges with bittersweet longing as he watches Lily lay her head on Mary's shoulder, her face beaming with love. It's been two years since she and Mary revealed their relationship to Hogwarts, and James is still hung up on Lily.
Despite chasing after Lily since he was eleven, James has always known deep down that he had no chance with her. Lily is beautiful, friendly, and intelligent. She's a fantastic woman, and James is more than lucky to be in her life, even if it is just as a friend.
She didn't deserve the disrespect James subjected her to for most of their school years; the incessant flirting, never taking "no" for an answer, or using her as a distraction.
A distraction from the boys James was starting to notice in a different light.
Before he arrived at Hogwarts, James had never questioned his sexuality. It was quite a shock when he started to. A sexuality crisis can be a scary thing. James had already convinced himself that he was totally in love with Lily and they would get married, have kids, and live the perfect life. In his mind, he didn't need to worry about his sexuality if he was going to marry a girl - Lily, specifically.
It wasn't until James' eyes started lingering on Remus as he changed into one of his numerous sweaters, or on Sirius when he gathered his curls into a charmingly messy bun, or on Peter whenever he flashed a warm smile each time James glanced in his direction, that James realized that his sexuality was a more significant part of him than he thought.
It wasn't until Remus and Sirius finally got their heads out of their asses and started dating that James felt comfortable enough to tell his friends about his attraction to boys and girls. It wasn’t until Lily and Mary came out as a lesbian couple at the beginning of their sixth year that James came out to the rest of Hogwarts.
As expected of a Marauder, James caused a big spectacle; a spell that caused a rainbow to appear over his head every time someone said his name, be it his first or last, for an entire day. The professors became so exasperated that they were almost willing to allow Filch to string him and the other Marauders up by their toenails in the dungeons.
Although James is comfortable with his sexuality, he regrets making it public knowledge.
Due to the constant barrage of people seeking his attention, James hasn't had a moment's peace in years. Not a day goes by without someone either figuratively or literally throwing themselves at his feet.
For instance, just yesterday, a nervous second-year student knelt at James' feet in the Great Hall and begged him for a date. James was so uncomfortable that he went to ask McGonagall if she would ban the boy from being within five feet of him.
It doesn’t matter who begs James for his attention; he only has eyes for one person… or two if he’s honest with himself.
Lily was James’ first love, and he will never forget her, but he has noticed someone else lately - someone off-limits.
His eyes flick over to the Slytherin table where the object of his affection sits, a breathtaking sight that captivates him each time. Black hair curls elegantly around pierced ears, and surprisingly, stormy gray eyes lock with James'.
James blinks once.
Regulus is still staring at him.
“Hey, Prongs,” an elbow sharply nudges James in the side.
Hissing in pain, he looks away from the Slytherin table. “What?”
“You’ve been staring at Evans for over fifteen minutes,” Sirius snickers. “You’re aware she has a girlfriend, right?”
James blushes, relieved Sirius believes he's staring at Lily. His former infatuation with her was no secret. However, his growing crush on Sirius' younger brother is. Sirius may be the closest thing James has to a brother, but Sirius would kill him if he ever found out about James' feelings for Regulus, so James shoves those feelings down every day and resigns himself to never interact with the one person who could fully heal his heart after Lily broke it, through no fault of her own.
Well, Sirius is one reason James doesn’t talk to Regulus. The other reason is Regulus himself. Regulus hates James with a burning passion, and he has since their first meeting.
Regulus' hatred stems from jealousy over James' close friendship with him, or so Sirius claims. The Black brothers’ relationship was strained once Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor his first year and eventually broke once Regulus severed ties with Sirius two years later.
It took five years for Regulus to even speak to Sirius. They are on civil terms now, but still, Regulus refuses to give James the time of day. James stole Regulus’ brother, and Regulus will never forgive him for that. It doesn’t matter to Regulus that he was the one to shut Sirius out in the first place.
“Seriously, James, you need to get over her,” Remus states.
James startles, not noticing he’s staring at Regulus again. Thankfully, Lily is sitting in the general direction of him and he can play it off again. “I’m totally over Lily, guys.”
The looks his friends give him need no translation. They don’t believe him.
“You can’t keep your eyes off of her. Leave her alone, James. She’s happy. They both are.”
James averts his eyes, filled with shame and regret over how his friends perceive him. Based on his behavior towards Lily in the past, it's fair for them to assume James is bitter and doesn't want her to be happy with Mary, but that isn't true.
“I know she’s happy, and I’m happy for her, truly. She deserves all the happiness in the world. I’m getting over her, I promise.”
Sirius leans his elbows on the table and gestures for the other three to lean closer. “I have a plan to help you with that, Prongs.”
James leans closer, interested. Sirius always has the best ideas. “What is it?”
“A dance.”
“A dance?” Remus asks, incredulous.
“Yep,” Sirius answers, proud of himself.
James reaches across the table and takes Sirius' hand. “Padfoot,” he says seriously, “I appreciate your help, I really do, but how is a dance going to help me get over Lily?”
“We’ll tell anybody who’s single and wants to date you to attend the dance. That way, you can mingle with everyone and find someone you click with!”
“That’s not a bad idea,” Peter says.
“That is a terrible idea,” Remus says.
“We can even do it on Halloween so that everyone will be wearing costumes or masks, and you won’t know who people are, so you can’t judge them based on appearances!”
James presses his hand against his chest, faux-offended. “I’m upset you think I’m so shallow as to judge people on their appearance! I’m friends with Peter; you can’t possibly think I’d judge people on their looks.”
Peter gives James a strained smile before idly swirling his spoon through his potatoes. No one notices he doesn’t speak for the rest of the conversation.
“Sirius, you can’t parade people around in front of James like they are dogs at a show,” Remus says.
“Remus, for once in your life, will you live a little?”
“I think it is a fantastic idea!” James cheers. “Let’s do it.”
Remus sighs. “I’m so glad you always ignore my input.”
Sirius waves his boyfriend's complaints away before shoving Peter further down the bench, knocking a girl over, and stands on the freed space. The girl glares at them all before scotting further away. Peter clenches his fist and does the same.
Holding his wand to his mouth like a microphone, Sirius casts Sonorus on it and yells, "Hey!" his voice echoing around the Great Hall. He waits until all of the talking dies down, including the professors, before saying, "I have an announcement, but first, raise your hand if you are single."
A few confused looks are tossed around at first, but slowly, people start putting their hands in the air. Barely able to contain his joy as Regulus raises his hand with encouragement from his friends, James grips his pants leg, otherwise not reacting. It won't bode well if any of his friends catch onto a possible crush.
Sirius does a quick count of the hands; almost half of Hogwarts’ population. That is way too many people for his idea. “Let me retry that; if you are seventeen or older and single, raise your hand.”
The number of hands decreases.
“Last one; for those who have their hands raised, if you are interested in dating James Potter, keep your hands raised. Straight men and gay ladies, you cannot participate.”
Around thirty hands are still in the air at the end of Sirius' speech. Regulus’ is not one of them. He immediately lowered his hand at the mention of James’ name. The Slytherins beside him laugh so hard they almost fall off their bench, being saved by the girl beside them.
James is devastated, not needing another reminder that Regulus despises him.
Sirius doesn’t notice James’ drastic mood change. “This Halloween, the Marauders, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and myself are hosting a Halloween dance held in the Great Hall so our dear friend James can find his one true love. Only fifth-years and above are allowed to attend. We will reveal more details at a later date.”
Sirius bows to the rapt crowd before clambering back onto his seat. The same girl from before side-eyes him as he jostles the table. “There you go, James. You’ll find somebody new in no time.”
“‘No time’ is correct. Sirius, do you realize what you just said? Halloween is a week away. There’s no way we’ll be able to organize and set up for a dance in less than a week, even if we all work together.”
“Moony, why must you be such a drag?” Sirius whines.
Remus scowls. “My bad for trying to be the sensible one in this group.”
“Remus is correct. There’s no way you four will pull this off alone,” Lily says, flashing her Head Girl at a younger student and gesturing at him to move. She takes the vacated seat beside Sirius and leans into Remus’ personal space. “The girls and I are offering to help.”
“Have you asked them if they want to help?”
“No, but I’m sure they won’t mind.”
"Don't invite Marlene," Sirius grimaces. Marlene is his ex from his fourth and fifth years. Things ended amicably when they both came out as bisexual after realizing they were in love with other people - Sirius with Remus and Marlene with Dorcas. Although they are still friends, they've had a strained relationship since. Only able to be in each other's presence briefly before devolving into petty arguments.
The two tend to avoid each other as much as possible, mainly because Marlene's girlfriend Dorcas hates Sirius almost as much as Regulus despises James. Despite everyone's best efforts to bridge a friendship between Dorcas and Sirius, the tension lingers, leaving their friends puzzled about what Sirius did to piss her off so much. Not even Sirius has an answer to that question.
“I’m sure she won’t want to help anyway.”
“How about we meet in our dorm at around eight tonight to discuss details?” Remus offers.
“Weren’t you just saying how stupid this idea was?” Peter points out.
“I still think this is stupid, but someone needs to be there to keep you all in check.”
“That’s fair.”
“I’ll let Mary know, and we’ll see you four there.”
“The three of us. James won’t be there.”
“Why won’t I be there?”
“We’re planning this for you. It has to be a surprise.”
James wants to argue, but Sirius is so excited to plan his surprise and James doesn’t have the heart to shut him down. “Alright. I’ll work on homework in the library while you plan.”
“Perfect! It’s almost eight now. We should head to the dorm now.”
Remus checks his watch - a present from James. “It’s only seven-thirty.”
“That’s basically eight.”
Remus shakes his head with a grin, used to Sirius' anxiousness with time and being late. It's unsurprising given his upbringing with Walburga, where tardiness was punished with an Unforgivable Curse.
“James, are you walking with us?”
“No,” James motions to his bag at his feet. “I have all my things. I’ll study in the library until curfew.”
“Alright, see you later.”
Lily gathers Mary and follows the boys out of the Great Hall.
…
Flyers mysteriously appear in every house common room the night after Regulus’ ridiculous brother announces the Halloween dance.
Outwardly Regulus scoffs at the idea, but he can't resist snagging a flier and hiding it in his school bag while Barty is distracted with Evan flirting with a seventh year. Impatience tugs at his mind while he bides his time until all his classmates stumble off to bed, including his friends, leaving him alone in the dim Slytherin common room, lit only by a dying fire and the unnatural glow from the Black Lake.
Unfolding the parchment after tucking himself into his favorite plush armchair by the smoldering fire, Regulus squints his eyes to read it. He would light his wand to see properly, but he doesn't want anyone sneaking a peek at the flyer over his shoulder. Evan, Barty, and Dorcas would never let him hear the end of it if they caught him.
Anyone under fifteen and not in their fifth year or above is banned from attending the dance. Those who attend and are interested in dating James Potter must be seventeen or older, wear a costume that conceals most of their face and identifying features, and must incorporate pink somewhere on their person, whether it be a prop or clothing. Everyone else is encouraged to wear costumes but cannot wear pink at all.
This dance must be the most unfunny joke the universe has ever played on Regulus. Despite being very interested in dating James Potter and fitting all the requirements, they could never be. James is Sirius' best friend and Regulus is Sirius' little brother. If Regulus and James were to date, Sirius would feel betrayed by both.
Not to mention, Regulus' family would be a problem even if Sirius wasn't.
In the prejudiced Black family Orion and Walburga would never allow their heir to be romantically involved with a blood traitor or, even worse, another man. No one - not even Sirius, who Regulus used to confide everything to - knows Regulus is gay except his best friends.
His parents still expect him to show up to Christmas dinner with a respectable pureblooded lady on his arm, or to willingly enter an arranged marriage of their choice if he doesn't pick a woman on his own.
Since Regulus has no attraction to women at all, he doesn't intend to marry a woman and produce heirs with her as his mother expects him to. He could marry a close female friend - like Dorcas or Pandora - and be apathetic, but he wants to drown in the Black Lake at the mere thought of fathering heirs.
Due to Walburga and Orion's abuse, Regulus does not want children of his own, regardless of his future partner's gender. He won't be a good father because of how he was raised and he's not willing to risk hurting a child the same way his parents hurt him.
He knows Sirius feels the same about not having children in the future. The difference is that Sirius used to talk about being a father all the time before he started Hogwarts. People see the mask Sirius presents and assume he is nothing more than a reckless mischief-maker, but the truth is Sirius is more than that. He's selfless and one of the kindest people Regulus knows.
He's willing to sacrifice his own happiness to protect children who don't even exist yet.
A hand snatches the flyer from Regulus’ hand, startling him out of his musing, and he looks up, alarmed. Barty’s smirk greets him when he does. “You want to go to this Halloween dance your brother is holding, don’t you?”
“I don’t,” Regulus lies. “I’m simply reading about the latest stupid thing my brother is doing.” He glances around the common room, surprised to find Evan and Dorcas there as well. “When did you come down here? I didn’t hear you.”
“We were waiting for you but you never came up to the dorm so we came to find you. But never mind that. You’re a fucking liar! You want to attend the dance, romance Potter, and ride off into the sunset with him on a dragon.”
Growing tired of Barty’s teasing, Regulus lunges for the flyer, but Barty prances out of reach in time. “Give it back, Barty!”
Barty raises the flyer above his head, once again grateful for his height advantage over Regulus. Regulus is scary when he’s angry but he’s too proper and refined to resort to jinxing his friends. “Admit it. Admit that you want James Potter.”
“I don’t!” Regulus is lying and his friends know it. He reaches for the flyer again and when Barty steps away, Regulus kicks his shin, smirking when Barty curses in three different languages as he doubles over. The flyer crinkles when Regulus snatches it and stuffs it into his pajama pants’ pocket.
Regulus attempted to keep his growing crush on James a secret during his fourth year, but it was impossible. That was the year Sirius reached out to reconnect - because he noticed what others did not: Regulus' defeated look, how he started pulling away from his friends, and how he flinched whenever someone moved too fast.
Sirius, having endured their parents' abuse first, recognized the tell-tale signs. He protected Regulus from the brunt of their parents' anger, and when he ran away to the Potters, Sirius knew it wouldn't be long before Walburga turned her maltreatment on her youngest son.
Sirius hated himself for leaving Regulus on his own, but he couldn't stay in Grimmauld Place any longer. There's no doubt that if he had, his parents would have eventually broken him. He could only fight for so long and he needed out.
Regulus understands that. He didn't at first, but he was just a child, resenting Sirius for abandoning him until it finally sunk in that Sirius did what was best for himself. He spent his entire life so far sheltering Regulus from their parents.
Sirius deserved to do something for himself for once. Even if that meant leaving Regulus alone
Not to mention, Sirius also offered to bring Regulus with him when he left, claiming the Potters would happily take them both in. Regulus has seen James’ kindness firsthand. He doesn't doubt the Potters would have let him stay as well.
Being young and not yet recognizing the mental hold his parents had on him, Regulus denied the invitation. Only after reconciling with Sirius and spending more time around Sirius’ friend group did Regulus begin to doubt his parents.
Spending time with the Marauders slowly morphed into Regulus developing a crush on his brother's best friend and siding with Sirius over their parents. However, there wasn't a way for Regulus to escape because Walburga kept him on a tight leash since Sirius ran away. He was trapped.
Regulus’ only option was to hide his silly crush and hope his parents didn’t pick up on it. The best way to do that was to pretend he hated James Potter, which would keep James away from him and make things better for everyone.
When Regulus wouldn’t explain the reason for his dislike of James, Sirius took it upon himself to create a reason, assuming he was correct. James has spent two years thinking Regulus despises him for stealing his brother, when, in reality, Regulus is so desperately in love with James that he can’t think properly when he is around.
Regulus’ friends are well aware of his true feelings, teasing him every chance they get. Not a day goes by where Regulus does not hear, “Look, it’s your boyfriend,” about James walking the halls.
Knowing James is looking for a partner will only make Regulus’ friends all the more insufferable.
As if reading Regulus’ mind, Evan daintily places the back of his hand against his forehead and pretends to swoon. “Oh, how I love James Potter so much! I cannot live without knowing how he feels for me.”
Joining in on the theatrics, Barty dramatically falls onto the common couch and kicks his legs. “But alas, our love is not to be! For James is in love with another, and my brother would never condone our love!”
Regulus throws a quill and a rolled-up parchment at Evan while asking for Dorcas’ help with a look. She smirks and pointedly looks away. “ Shut your mouths. I do not fancy James Potter.
“That is a lie,” Evan says, untying Regulus’ parchment and lighting it on fire after crumpling it into a ball.
“That was my potions essay!”
“If you wanted it then you shouldn’t have thrown it at me and lied about your crush on Potter.”
Regulus slumps on the couch, resigned to his friends’ teasing until the day he dies. “Why does it matter? I’ve loved James since I was fourteen. He’s been in love with Evans since he was eleven. I don’t have a chance.”
“That’s the purpose of this dance: for Potter to find someone else.”
“James has never once looked at anyone but Evans. Do you really think I’ll be that person when he does?”
“You could be,” Evan says. “I swear Potter looked at you yesterday at dinner. It’s not the first time I’ve caught him doing it either.”
“Stop teasing.”
“He’s not,” Dorcas interjects. “Potter was definitely staring at you right before your brother made a fool out of himself.”
“He was probably thinking of ways to humiliate me in public or something. Sirius must have put him up to it.”
“Potter isn’t like that.”
“He treats Snape horribly,” Regulus points out, not that he actually cares about what happens to Snape.
“Snape deserves it,” Barty says.
Dorcas sits on the back of the couch and runs her manicured nails through Regulus’ hair. “Why are you so against the dance? It won’t hurt to go.”
“Why? So I can watch the love of my life throw himself at every available person and eventually pick one of them and not me? No, thanks. I’ll pass.”
“That’s such a shame. Pandora was excited to design our costumes for the dance,” Evan says, smug, having played the one card Regulus can’t ignore.
Regulus groans loud enough to wake half of Hogwarts before saying, “Fine, I’ll go to the stupid dance! But, I am not designing or creating my own costume.”
“That is perfectly alright. Evan, Pandora, Dorcas, and I will deal with everything.” Barty leans into Regulus' personal space and leaves a soft kiss on the tip of Regulus’ nose. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about a thing.”
The blinding smiles on Barty and Evan’s faces worry Regulus. He’s already regretting his decision. What has he gotten himself into? “Don’t make me regret this.”
Barty pats Regulus’ cheek before retreating to the other end of the couch. “Don’t you worry, darling. We’ll take care of everything.”
…
“Potter! Pettigrew! Black!” Minerva McGonagall marches through the corridors with her robes held an inch off the ground, the tips of her black boots peeking out with each step.
Sirius freezes at the sound of her irate voice. “Uh-oh,” he mutters, knowing the most likely outcome of this conversation.
“What did we do this time?” Peter questions.
With a charming smile on his face, James faces the angry professor. “Hello, Minnie, lovely day, wouldn’t you say? It’s so grand to see your beautiful face this early morning.”
“Shut your mouth, Mr. Potter,” McGonagall orders. “You may be searching for a love interest, but you will not include me in your shenanigans. I need to speak with you four - er, three,” she looks around the empty hall. “Where’s Mr. Lupin?”
“It’s Saturday, Professor; he’s probably studying in the library.”
“All is well. I am certain Mr. Lupin is not involved with your stupidity. Follow me.”
They don’t argue. It never helps. They walk behind McGonagall like ducklings following their mother.
The trio, resembling ducklings following their mother, reach her office, where she directs them to sit on the other side of her desk. Only two chairs are available, sp James and Peter tussle over one while Sirius takes the other. James wins by shoving Peter to the floor, where he stays seated.
McGonagall ignores the display of immaturity. “Mr. Black, a few days ago, you announced a Halloween dance, happening on Halloween night, that you and your friends are holding in the Great Hall. I ignored the disruption, thinking perhaps you were spouting nonsense as you are prone to do. Or so I thought, until,” she opens a desk drawer and withdraws a piece of parchment; one of the flyers, “these appeared in the staff office. I must ask, who authorized this dance?”
“Nobody.”
“No professor or staff member permitted you to host this dance, and yet you thought it appropriate to announce it to the entire school?”
“Come on, Minnie,” Sirius says. “James has to get over Lily, and this is the perfect way for him to do that! You don’t want to get in the way of young love, do you?”
“You will desist calling me “Minnie” this instant, Mr. Black. I do not care to be informed of my students’ love lives. I do, however, care about my students following school rules and behaving themselves. Hosting an unauthorized dance is not following school rules. As Head Boy, Mr. Potter, you should know better.”
“Will you authorize the dance?” Sirius asks before James can speak.
“Yeah!” James agrees. “If we need a professor to sign off on the dance, why don’t you do it?”
McGonagall resists the urge to bang her head against her desk until she passes out. There’s no telling what would happen to the school in the time it would take her to wake up. The Marauders are her favorite students but are a source of constant headaches. However, it is sometimes easier to allow their silly ideas than to argue with them because they will do it anyway.
“As long as you run all of your ideas by me before deciding on anything officially, I will authorize this dance. As I said before, I don’t care to be involved in students’ love lives, so I will order the prefects to chaperone the dance. However, if anything ridiculous or dangerous happens because no professor is present, I will give you all detention until graduation.”
“But that’s months away!” Peter cries.
“Well, then, I guess you had better not cause trouble.” She sends them from her office, each with a Fizzing Whizzbee for themselves and a paper bag full of Chocolate Frogs for Remus.
The dance is scheduled for a week from today, and thanks to the girls, there isn’t much more planning they need to do. Lily and Remus are taking care of the age line that will be drawn in front of the doors to the Great Hall to prevent the younger students from sneaking in. Peter volunteered to ask the House Elves to prepare treats and drinks for the dance and Sirius declared himself DJ.
They haven’t told McGonagall yet, but they plan to close the Great Hall after dinner the night before Halloween so they have the entirety of the next day to decorate. Lily is in charge of that task because she has a masterful eye for interior decorating.
Now all that is left is costumes.
Peter wants a group costume while Sirius intends to do a couple’s costume with Remus or James. Neither idea is possible because James should stand out since he is the star of the night.
After debating for hours, they finally bring their dilemma to Lily and Marlene. Lily because she is level-headed and will help them. Marlene because she is dangerously blunt and will tell the truth to their faces whether it will hurt their feelings or not.
When they barrel into the common room shouting for the girls’ attention, Lily places her book on the table and gives them her attention while Marlene huffs and moves to the other side of the room. Lily listens intently as Sirius lays out their problem, doing a fantastic job of hiding her amusement.
“Let me get this straight; you want me to choose your costume out of The Three Musketeers - even though there are four of you-”
“Oh, Peter won’t participate in that one,” Remus interrupts.
“What? That’s not fair,” Peter complains.
“Come on, Wormtail. It’s the Three Musketeers. There are four of us. Someone will have to be left out, and none of us want to. Take one for the team; be a good friend.”
Peter scowls at Sirius but doesn’t argue further.
“The Three Musketeers,” Lily continues, “a werewolf, a vampire, or dirty socks?”
“I think the socks idea is funny,” Peter says.
“Peter, will you shut up? Nobody wants to dress up with you, particularly as a dirty sock.” James immediately feels ashamed at his harsh words when Lily glares at him.
Peter’s face falls. He looks at Sirius with watery eyes. “Fine, then. I’ll find my own thing to dress up as, and I won’t force you to dress up with me.” He ignores Lily and Marlene calling after him as he storms up the staircase to the dorms.
Lily gives them a disappointed stare. “That was very rude of you.”
Sirius shrugs, indifferent. “It’s Peter. He’ll be over it by tonight.”
Unconvinced, Lily says, “If you say so. James, you should go as a prince. It will suit you and showcase you as the center of attention. Sirius, with your hair, you will look good as a rockstar. Remus, I suggest a cowboy for you. All three of you would look quite lovely.”
Lifting Lily’s hand to his lips, James lightly kisses the back of it. “Lily, you absolute gem, how may we ever repay you for your wisdom?”
“You can repay me by not pranking the Slytherins anymore this year. As Head Girl, I’m forced to deal with all of their complaints.”
“Is there any other way we can repay you?” James asks with a grimace.
“You can go somewhere else with your craziness and let me finish my homework.”
“We can do that for you,” Sirius drags James and Remus away, leaving Lily to work on her coursework.
…
The days leading up to the Halloween dance pass quickly with everyone using magic to finish their costumes in time. The Halloween spirit is in the air and the students are excited, although there are a few grumbles when the Marauders shut the Great Hall for an entire day.
Sirius ignores the complaints and directs hungry students to the kitchens when they stop by for breakfast or lunch. No doubt the House Elves are ecstatic about the influx of people needing their services.
He also bans James from aiding with decorating because he wants the night to be a complete surprise. So, with nothing else to do, James secludes himself in the library to work on his Charms essay as he does often these days.
Homework isn’t the most exciting task James could be doing, but it keeps him distracted for the day. Not to mention, he gets to watch Regulus for hours.
James isn’t a creep, despite how that sounds. Regulus studies in the library at the same time every day. Coincidentally, James also studies in the library at the same time most days.
Alone in the library with no one watching his every move is the only time James ever sees Regulus without his usual scowl. Don’t get James wrong, Regulus’ scowl is adorable, but the little pinch between his eyebrows when he reads or the slight lift of his plump lips, when he finishes an assignment, makes James’ heart flutter.
Luckily, Regulus never seems to notice James’ presence or his heavy gaze.
Unfortunately, Regulus doesn’t stay as long as he usually does today, leaving with Pandora Lovegood almost two hours earlier than normal. As they pass the table he has his books spread out on, James catches a snippet of their conversation; Pandora remarking how happy she is to design Regulus and the other Slytherin boys for the dance that afternoon.
James’ mouth drops open in shock. He had assumed Regulus wouldn’t be caught dead near the Great Hall that evening with as much as he loathes James. It turns out that Regulus will be there, but James isn’t holding out hope that he will wear pink.
Too distracted by thoughts of Regulus to focus on his essay, James packs his books and parchment into his bag and heads to Gryffindor Tower. Since he can’t work on his assignments, he might as well start getting ready for the dance.
Earlier that morning, Remus told James that he, Sirius, and Peter would get dressed in the Great Hall to ensure nobody sneaks in but the girls would help James get ready.
As Remus said, Lily and Mary are waiting in the Marauders’ dormitory when James enters. Small flashes of silver light erupt from Lily’s wand as she adds last-minute details to James’ costume that is spread out on Sirius’ bed. Dorcas has taken over James’ bed and is snoring softly and drooling onto his pillow. Marlene is nowhere to be seen so James assumes she isn’t going to the dance.
Bypassing his occupied bed, James drops onto Peter’s bed after sneaking a peek at his costume. It looks amazing, but not as good as Lily and Mary’s matching costumes; an angel and a demon. Realistic-looking fangs and a pointed tail perfectly matches Lily’s fiery red hair and Mary’s dark skin compliments her silvery-white dress and golden halo.
James nods at the woman sleeping on his bed. “Is Meadowes not joining you at the dance?”
Mary shakes her head. “She is not interested in dating you. She and Marlene have plans for a date since most of the castle will be deserted.”
“Neither of you is interested in dating me, so why are you going to the dance?” James clambers onto Remus’ bed and snuggles into the blankets, breathing in the calming chocolate and parchment scent of one of his best friends.
“We’re going for emotional support.”
“I’ll have the Marauders. You don't have to be there if you want to go on a date.”
“Are you trying to get rid of us, James?”
“Never. I don’t want you to think you must be there for me.”
“We want to be there for you.”
“Up, up,” Mary swats at James with a pillow. “We don’t have much time. We need you in your costume now so we can fix anything that needs it.”
James casts Tempus, surprised to see the early hour. “There’s hours before the dance starts.”
“Exactly,” Mary says. “We don’t have much time.”
James shakes his head in amusement but obeys their rushed orders as he changes into tailored trousers, a loose tunic with an overcoat, a golden belt, and fine shoes. After fussing with his hair for fifteen minutes to make it lay flat, Lily gives up. Mary does James’ makeup, accentuating his natural features without going overboard.
True to Mary’s word, the girls barely have time to complete James’ costume and add finishing details to their own before the dance starts. The walk from Gryffindor Tower to the Great Hall takes over seven minutes, even longer if Peeves makes an appearance as he is prone to do, so it is lucky that James already planned to be late for dramatic effect.
“Would you like us to walk with you?” Lily offers.
“No, thank you. You two go on ahead. I’ll show up eventually.”
Lily kisses James’ cheek before leaving the dorm with Mary in tow. While once the gesture would have caused James to trip over his feet, now he only feels a deep appreciation for the wonderful, forgiving woman Lily is.
After debating if he should wake Dorcas so she can prepare for her date but choosing not to - Dorcas is almost an adult and can wake herself up if needed, James isn’t going to risk her wrath by waking her sooner than she planned - James counts to one hundred before starting the trek to the Great Hall.
The part is in full swing when James walks down the Grand Staircase, observing the smiling and dancing students that fill the Great Hall.
Most people have followed the scary tradition of Halloween and are dressed as zombies, werewolves (that one must have been fun for Remus to see) , vampires, skeletons, and clowns. Others have taken a cuter approach to the night; fairies, princesses, and animals.
Few people have included pink in their outfits, but the ones who have are very creative. From his vantage point, James spots Glinda the Good Witch, a group of Pink ladies (accompanied by T-Birds - who appear to be the Ravenclaw Quidditch team) , a pink flower, a flamingo, and a ballerina.
James adores the bold statements some of the students have gone with, rather than a subtle touch of pink to their costumes. As a fan of being dramatic, a select few costumes call to James, such as the flamingo currently whisking Evan Rosier on the dance floor. James steers clear of Evan and the stranger once he catches sight of the glint of a dagger in his hand. James isn’t getting between their lover’s spat any time soon.
As he walks into the Great Hall the crowd parts for him. Sirius, dressed like a rockstar wearing all leather with an electric guitar slung over his back, makes a huge show of welcoming James to the dance.
“This way, Prongs!”
James follows Sirius to a table near the stage where he abandoned his DJ post. He better get back to it before the lack of music pisses off the student body. Remus tips his black cowboy hat at them as they approach, with the little half smile that knocks half of the Hogwarts population on their knees. The top costume of the night, in James’ humble opinion, is Peter’s; a toned-down mouse costume with clothing in various shades of gray, real whiskers sprouting from his cheeks, and a mouse tail lazily whipping back and forth from behind the boy.
James adores magic.
“Alright, Prongsie,” Sirius shoves James into a seat at the table and takes the last open chair for himself. “By now, anyone interested in catching your attention should be here. We made an announcement five minutes after eight for anyone wearing pink to line up at our table.”
Remus sips his Pumpkin Juice that someone definitely spiked with Fire Whiskey. The professors are so going to give them detention for the rest of their lives if they find out. “I had everyone tell me their name and age to ensure nobody under seventeen was trying to date you. I also secretly cast a truth charm to weed out the liars. We have a list here,” Remus taps a folded bit of parchment lying on the table. “Anyone wearing pink is safe for you to talk to. We won’t tell you names, but whenever you speak with someone new, let us know their costume, and we’ll cross them off the list. This way, you make your way through everyone.”
James nods. “Sounds awesome. Who should I start with first?”
“The guy dressed as a flamingo seems pretty nice,” Peter offers.
James turns around in search of the flamingo man who caught his eye earlier.
“What about the ballerina?”
“Why are you only recommending me guys to talk to? You know I like girls and other people, too, right?”
“Our bad, Prongs. There’s a lovely Pink Lady with curly hair over by the refreshments.”
“I think I’ll start with her.” James bids his friends goodbye and sidles up beside the Pink Lady. “Hello.”
She greets him with a broad smile, the top half of her face covered by a black velvet mask. “Hello, Potter.”
“Might I say you look ravishing this evening?”
The girl giggles, blushing. “Thank you. Would you like to dance?”
Pleasantly surprised that this girl took the initiative to dance, James accepts. He can be a flirt, but he is trash at asking people out. “I would love to.”
Although a few couples are already on the dance floor, most people are milling around the edges of the Great Hall, waiting for James to catch them. Which won’t work. James isn’t interested in somebody who would rather skulk in the shadows than be the center of attention. No hate for introverts (James’ best friend is one) but James’ ideal partner is more bold than that.
James and the Pink Lady cause quite a stir as people toss jealous stares at the Pink Lady from around the room. She doesn’t pay the haters any mind, enjoying her moment of fame with James Potters.
As the song fades into the next on Sirius’ carefully curated playlist, James knows this wonderful lady is not the one for him. She has a beautiful smile and a darling laugh, but there isn’t one thing they could connect over throughout their talk.
Maybe James will introduce her to Peter. She seems like his type.
“My dear,” James twirls the girl to the edge of the dance floor. “I am sorry to say this, and it pains me to hurt you, but-”
“I’m not the one you’re looking for,” she finished sadly, valiantly holding her tears back.
James lifts her chin and meets her beautiful brown eyes. “It is not your fault. You’re an amazing woman, and you are gorgeous and you deserve someone who will fully appreciate you. You are not the one for me, but if you’re interested, see that blond boy by the snack table. That is my friend Peter. He would be delighted to meet you.”
“I know him.” The girl smiles at Peter. “We have a class together this year.”
‘What is your name?” There’s no harm in asking since James won’t be pursuing a romantic relationship with this girl.
“Diane Damilza.”
James racks his brain for any familiarity with that name, not finding anything. “What house are you in?”
“Hufflepuff.”
That explains it. James doesn’t have any classes with Hufflepuff this year.
“It was lovely to meet you, however, I must be off.” He bows to Diana and she gives him a curtsy.
“What happened?” Sirius asks the moment James gets within hearing distance.
“She’s not the one.”
“Why not? It seemed like you were getting along well,” Remus says.
“We were. She’s lovely, really. I want to get to know her as a friend, but nothing more. She took it well. I pointed her toward Peter, and she seemed interested.”
“Who’s next?” Sirius unfolds the parchment and scans the list. “Some of these people you need to avoid at all costs unless you want to dance with Kirk Thickett.”
James almost gags at the mention of the Ravenclaw. Aside from Snape, Kirk Thickett has to be the grossest person at Hogwarts. James has seen him pick his nose, eat his boogers, or put them in his hair. He is not dancing with Kirk. ever. He’d rather vomit slugs.
“Next person,” he says.
The next few hours see James running around the Great Hall, introducing himself to and dancing with different people under Sirius, Remus, and Peter’s directions. Besides Kirk, James enjoys his time with every person, but none of them feels right.
Nobody alights that flame inside James’ heart like Lily used to, and Regulus does.
…
“Regulus, you’re hours late to the dance. Why are you stopping?” Evan asks as Regulus stops dead in the hallway, almost causing a domino effect.
“I can’t do this,” Regulus mutters, clenching his hands in the white tunic that barely brushes his mid-thigh.
Barty claps Regulus on the shoulder. “It’s just Potter, Regulus. He’s an idiot. There’s no need to be scared of him.”
“I’m not scared of him.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“What if he recognizes me? What if my brother does?”
“They won’t. Pandora did a great job at disguising you.”
“I’m not the type of person James Potter would be interested in. Compared to Evans, I’m nothing.”
“Stop saying self-deprecating stuff. It isn’t true. James would be lucky to have you as a partner. All you have to do is go in there, be yourself, and get your man.”
“Being myself is the worst advice you could give me! Even I know myself is an asshole!”
“Maybe Potter is into assholes -” Evan stops speaking with a resigned look when Barty snickers. “You know I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Regulus, Potter won’t know it’s you. You can be whoever you want to be tonight.” Pandora gently shoves the other two out of her way. “You’re not Regulus Black, heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. Tonight, you are Regulus. There are no expectations of you. You don’t have to pretend for anyone, not even your parents. There’s no need for the mask you put on. Talk to Potter, and just be you. Don’t be a member of the Black family. If Potter doesn’t realize what an amazing person you are, that’s on him. He’ll be missing out.”
Regulus forces himself not to cry, not wanting to ruin the makeup Pandora painstakingly did for him. “Thanks, Pandora. That means a lot.”
“Are you good now?” Barty asks.
Regulus nods.
“Evan, Pandora, and I will go in ahead of you. Walk in a minute after us.”
Regulus nods despite regretting every decision that led to this point in his life, including allowing Pandora to design his costume. She did fine with Evan and Barty, dressing them as elves - the cool kind, not Santa’s elves - and herself as a fairy knight.
She must have been drunk when she designed Regulus’ costume because he’s dressed like Eros, the Greek god of lust, commonly known as his Roman form, Cupid. Pandora could have chosen a different Green god, such as Apollo or Ares, but she chose the one linked to sexual desire.
A length of rich red fabric twines around Regulus’ body like the statues of Greek gods, wrapping around his chest once, leaving most of it bare, and flowing around his thighs in a skirt that barely covers his butt. Every step he takes threatens to reveal everything.
Dorcas found a spell that would sprout customizable wings from his back. His are predominantly golden with beautiful pink tips. They flutter independently and can lift Regulus a few inches off the ground if he concentrates hard enough.
Pandora also gifted Regulus accessories for his costume. Since the rules state that anyone vying for James Potter’s attention must conceal their identity, Pandora took inspiration from the version of Eros who wears a blindfold to prove he shoots his arrows at random, and tied a golden strip of silk around Regulus’ eyes, charmed for him to see through it but prohibits other people from seeing his eyes. As part of the Black family, Regulus’ eyes are unique and easily recognizable, as are his brother’s. It wouldn’t be hard for James to know who Regulus is if he saw his eyes.
The last pieces of the costume is a pair of golden sandals that match the mask because Regulus cannot attend a dance barefoot and a pink quiver filled with white and gold arrows. The outfit isn’t one hundred percent accurate to mythology, but Pandora did her best with the pink requirement.
Regardless of how accurate his costume is, Regulus still looks like a god. He will no doubt turn heads this evening.
Now, if only he can turn the only head he cares about.
…
Dropping into his seat at the Marauders’ table with an exhausted sigh, James says, “It’s another no.” Peter groans while Sirius bumps James’ shoulder encouragingly.
Remus scribbles out another name on his list. “That was the last person, Prongs. Someone must have caught your attention, even just a little. At least enough for you to be interested in a follow-up date. Are you sure you don’t like the Pink Lady at all? She was cute.”
“Diana is great, but I’m not interested in her like that. I’m not into anybody here.” Disappointed hits James again at not having seen Regulus yet. He must have changed his mind about coming with his friends.
“There’s an hour and a half until midnight; do you want to end this early?”
“Nah. There's no reason to end everybody’s fun because of me. I think I’ll head out now, though.”
“Moony, do you want to leave?” Sirius asks.
Remus nods, wiping his eyes. “Yeah. It’s late.”
“You guys go ahead. I want to say goodbye to Diana and the others I met tonight.”
“See you in the dorm,” Sirius says.
The Great Hall empties almost completely as James spends a few minutes saying goodbye to the new friends he met throughout the night. When he does try to leave the Great Hall, he’s too preoccupied with attempting to recruit one of the girls he met for the Quidditch team to notice someone entering the room at the time, resulting in a collision.
James grabs the person’s arm to steady himself and them. His mouth goes dry at the sight of the other person.
Scarlet fabric drapes elegantly yet seductively around the man’s body, leaving most of his torso and legs bare. Heart-shaped clips tastefully pin back his black curls and showcase his face, which is covered with a blindfold that conceals only his eyes.
“I’m so- my bad- oh, my-” James can’t stop stuttering. “Are you okay?”
The boy smiles. “I’m alright. What about you?”
James fidgets awkwardly. “I’m fine. Did you just arrive? I haven’t seen you before.”
“How do you know you haven’t seen me yet?”
“I would remember seeing you,” James blurts. He slaps a hand over his mouth, mortified.
The newcomer laughs lightly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“It was meant to be one.”
“Were you leaving?”
“I was.” James’ eyes flick to the feathers erupting from the boy’s back and their pink ends. “But I just changed my mind.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“I found a reason to stay.”
“What might that be?” The man steps past James and enters the Great Hall.
James follows on his heels like a love-sick puppy. “You,” he says, not bothering with beating around the bush anymore. James enjoys flirting, but this man enraptured him too much to bother with pointless games.
“What is your name?” James asks.
“I thought the point of a mask was to keep my identity a secret.”
“That was the point until I came across you.”
The man’s lips lift in a small smile. “You may call me Eros.”
“Well, Eros, would you honor me with a dance?”
Eros places his hand in James’ calloused one. “I will.”
Shaking with excitement and nerves, James leads Eros onto the dance floor. His friends will wonder where he is, but he’ll explain when he returns to the dorm. The other Marauders will be ecstatic that James found someone after all. Sirius’ hard work didn’t go to waste.
They are a confused jumble of limbs as they both try to lead before James decides for them by placing his hand on Eros’ waist and tugging him close. The soft scowl on Eros’ face is eerily familiar to him. He swears he recognizes it from somewhere.
…
Regulus’ heart is beating so fast he’s surprised it doesn’t jump out of his chest. He’s never been this close to James, and the experience is overwhelming.
James smells so good, like broom salve and sunshine. It takes all of Regulus’ self-control not to bury his face in James’ neck and inhale deeply.
Regulus is pleasantly surprised by James’ dancing skills. Although James is a pureblood, Regulus hadn’t expected him to know ballroom dancing. Yet, James effortlessly glides across the floor, twirling Regulus with him, seeming to enjoy every moment - a skill Regulus detests.
Despite Regulus’ professional ballroom dancing classes - that Walburga forced both her children to take - Regulus struggles to focus on anything but James’ captivating eyes. He can’t help it. Cheeks heating up, Regulus ducks his head to hide his blush as James chuckles as Regulus trips over his own feet for the third time in one song.
Regulus did well enough in dance lessons, but Sirius is the one who excelled. He can outdance any professional if he puts his mind to it. However, Sirius hates dancing in any form, while Regulus enjoys the art form and has always been jealous of his brother for being skilled in a hobby he doesn’t enjoy.
“Do you want to take a break?” James asks, slowing to a halt.
“I know how to dance,” Regulus says defensively.
“I didn’t say you couldn’t dance. I asked if you want a break.”
Grateful for the chance to stop embarrassing himself, Regulus agrees. “What should we do instead?”
“We could walk around the Black Lake,” James offers.
Regulus is quite fond of the night, so a walk in the dark with the man he’s been in love with for years sounds glorious. “Let’s go,” he says, exiting the Great Hall, leaving James gaping after him, eyes glued to the tantalizing view of Regulus’ costume barely covering his butt.
James catches up to him in the garden right outside the doors leading into the Entrance Hall. “Hey, now,” he teases. “There’s no need to run from me.”
“There’s every reason for me to run from you, James Potter,” the words slip from Regulus’ mouth unbidden.
“What does that mean?” James questions.
“Nothing, I misspoke,” Regulus said quickly.
James studies Regulus’ hunched form for a second. “I think you meant that. Why?”
“It’s nothing,” Regulus walks a little faster, trying to put distance between them.
“Are you not out? Is that the problem? You’re worried someone will find out.”
Regulus stops suddenly. James doesn’t notice in time and slams into his back. “Listen to me, Potter. There are a million reasons for me to run away from you. One of them is that I’m not out, but I am not afraid of what our peers will think. I couldn’t care less about the opinions of those beneath me. However, I have a duty to my family. I must continue my family line. If my family were to find out I only fancy men - James Potter at that - it would destroy my life.”
James makes a note of Regulus’ dedication to his family. He must be a pureblood. Half-Blood or Muggleborn families don’t pressure their children to continue their families like pureblood families do.
“Why did you come here tonight, then? If you knew we could never be together.”
“Because I’m in love with you,” Regulus admits with a shaky exhale, never having expected to be in this position. He never thought he’d profess his love to any man. “I’ve loved you for many years. I’ve spent my days watching you from afar, wishing I could have you, even if for only a day.” Laughing bitterly, he says, “Now, I have you, but only for tonight.”
James grabs Regulus' bicep - momentarily distracted by how firm the muscle is - to keep him from running again. “That’s not true. We can have more than tonight with each other. No one has to know. I haven’t known you long, but I feel connected. I want to see where this could go.”
Even though he longs for the man to envelop him in his arms ,Regulus shrugs James off. “You’re delusional. What will happen when, inevitably, my family expects me to marry a woman and give her children? Tonight is all we will have with each other. You can take it as it is, or I can leave now.”
“Please don’t leave,” James begs. “If all I have with you is tonight, will you tell me your name and remove your mask? I want to know who I’m falling in love with.”
The breath catches in the back of Regulus’ throat. James can’t be falling in love so soon. He doesn’t even know who he’s falling for.
Regulus denies James’ request, because even though James would never out him on purpose, none of the Marauders keep secrets from the others. It wouldn’t be long before all four of them know Sirius’ brother is gay. Eventually, the secret would spread through Hogwarts like wildfire, and Walburga and Orion would hear of it.
Regulus can’t risk it.
“It’s better for both of us that I stay anonymous.”
“May I have a hint as to who you are? Will you at least tell me if I know you? I feel I do. Something about you feels familiar.”
Regulus assumes James is picking up on the mannerisms and patterns of speech that he shares with Sirius. Of course, Sirius’ best friend would recognize those things. He can’t tell James that without it revealing his identity, so he says, “You know who I am, but I wouldn’t say you know me,” instead.
“What is that supposed to mean? Are you in Gryffindor? Are you in one of my classes? Are you a friend of a friend? Have I said “hi” to you in the hall before? Have I gone against you in a Quidditch match?”
“That is all I will tell you, Potter. Let’s go on that walk.”
Catching the hint that Regulus is not comfortable talking more about himself, cautiously holds his arm out, offering Regulus his elbow. “May I?”
James gets the hint that Regulus is not comfortable talking about himself anymore. He cautiously holds his arm out. “May I?”
Regulus threads his arm through James and rests his palm on James’ bicep, his heart hammering as they walk toward the Black Lake.
Everything Regulus has ever wanted is coming true, and he can’t keep it. He can’t allow this to continue past midnight. He’s gotten his wish of being the center of James Potter’s universe, if only for the night.
That’s all tonight is… a wish .
It won’t last.
It can’t last.
…
Sitting on the grassy shore of the Black Lake, they gaze at the expanse of water as the Giant Squid slithers beneath the surface, causing waves that lap gently at their bare feet.
Instead of asking more personal questions and upsetting Eros, James instigates a game of would you rather questions. He learns that Eros is the youngest sibling in his household, and he admits that he’d rather lick a spider than touch a squirrel.
Eros is funny in a dry-humor, sarcastic way. James adores it. Whenever he acts mushy or says something Eros deems too kind, Eros responds with an insult.
After one sharped-toned remark that falls from Eros’ pink lips, James is suddenly aware he’s attracted to people who are mean to him. He’s not sure he wants to know what that says about him.
Eros said they shouldn't meet again after tonight, but James disagrees. Eros attended the dance because he’s loved James for a while, and James is starting to fall in love as well. It isn’t fair for them to meet like this and never see each other again.
Or maybe they will, and James will never know it is Eros he is speaking to.
Tonight was supposed to be one of the best nights of James’ life. It was supposed to become a tragedy. James has to convince Eros they are worth fighting for. The Marauders and James’ parents will protect Eros from his family if it comes to that.
Eros follows the moon’s progression through the sky, saying,. “It’s almost midnight. I need to head back to the castle,” once it reaches high in the sky.
“Stay a little longer,” James says as Eros stands.
Eros glances at the moon before shaking his head. “I don’t have much time.”
“Please,” James is pleading now, and he doesn’t care, not wanting this night to end. He’d fall to his knees and beg if he thought it would make Eros stay.
“Only a few minutes,” Eros agrees, sitting back down.
Sitting side-by-side on the grass, James leans a little closer, and their shoulders brush. He unabashedly stares at Eros’ plump lips, which he’s been longing to kiss all night.
"Don't hate me for this," he whispers, his breath warm against Eros' pale skin. With a gentle hand, he lifts Eros' face and closes the gap between them, their lips meeting in a moment of forbidden desire.
He expects to be cursed or at least shoved away, but instead, Eros' eyes flutter closed and a soft moan escapes him before he yanks James closer and deepens the kiss.
The world around them fades into nothingness. Nothing else matters to James but the feel of Eros' body beneath him and the soft grass tickling their skin. He pushes Eros onto his back, settling his knees on either side of his body as he runs one hand up Eros' thigh, sneaking under the skirt of his costume, and digs his fingers into Eros' smooth thigh.
It kills him to stop before they go beyond what is decent for a public area, but he does all the same. The last thing he needs this year is detention for indecent exposure. McGonagall would finally make good on her promise to expel him if caught.
…
Regulus' heart skips a beat as James slips his tongue into his mouth. Nimble fingers tug James; dress shirt free from his pants and his hands scramble for purchase on James' warm back, pulling him closer, aching for James' touch. He's yearned to taste James' lips for what feels like an eternity and he can't get enough. Overwhelmed by unfamiliar emotions (love and affection) Regulus instinctively grasps James' face to ground himself and calm his racing heart.
Butterflies flutter uncountably in Regulus' stomach, their delicate wings a reminder of the uncertainties looming in their future. A world of happiness has consumed him, and there shouldn't be any worries here, yet there is.
Regulus is in danger of envisioning a life of bliss with James Potter by his side.
One kiss, and he’s already delusional.
He has to stop this. He has to get away.
He’ll forget why he’s fought so hard not to fall in love with James Potter if he stays any longer. His life will fall in ruins if he doesn’t leave now.
Placing his palm on James’ chest Regulus harshly shoves him away. Clarity sets it once James is no longer touching him. Regulus scrambles to his feet, frantically checking that his blindfold didn’t shift out of place.
Crouching on his heels, panting hard, James stares at him in confusion. “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”
Regulus’ voice gets caught in his throat. “I have to go. Kissing you was a mistake.” He yanks his costume skirt into place, noticing James eyeing his exposed legs.
“Did it feel like a mistake?” James calls after Regulus as he walks away.
Regulus stifles a scream, wanting nothing more than to wade into the lake and sink to the bottom, never to emerge. Why is his life so dreadful? Why can’t he have the one thing he wants more than anything?
Why can’t he run into James’ arms and reveal his identity?
Why can’t he be happy?
Untying the gold silk around his eyes Regulus drops it onto the grass, facing away from James. He shouldn’t be able to make out Regulus’ face in the moon’s dim lighting. “It didn’t feel like a mistake, but it can’t be anything but.”
“You can run, but I’ll find you. No matter what you do, you can’t hide from me.”
“Good luck with that.”
Halfway back to the castle, Regulus looks back, finding James still sitting by the Black Lake, idling twirling his finger through the smooth waters. With a pain of longing, Regulus turns away and keeps walking.
This is for the better.