Lost

Chapter 1

Lost

It wasn’t that Petunia did not love Severus. In fact, she did, since they were children, from the first time they met. Her love for him was so real and massive that it was painful to bear on her chest sometimes. Especially after the war was lost. She wanted to look at him and despise him, for the atrocities Severus committed against innocent people.

          She tried. ‘’I’ll be back by nine a clock’’ As heartless and ruthless as Severus was, with Petunia everything changed, he was a gentleman and gave her a choice. ‘’If you accept the proposal, I’ll take you with me as my wife, and I promise that from this day, to your last, you will have everything you could ever desire’’ Petunia hated it, hated that Severus was not forcing her, taking her by violence.

          ‘’Not a minute late’’ Petunia said, depressive.

          ‘’Be ready by then’’ She closed her eyes, feeling a tear sliding down her cheek as Severus pressed his lips against her forehead. ‘’Don’t cry, my love, I promised to make you the happiest woman, didn’t I?’’ Petunia held no doubts about it. The problem was…

          ‘’I know’’ She said, looking down with a shaking voice. ‘’This not how I thought we would end…’’ Severus hums with all the patience of the world. It must be difficult for Petunia to process this new world. ‘’I wished we could be together under other circumstances.’’

          ‘’It’s out of our power, Petunia’’ She lets him take her hand, gently stroking her back. ‘’All that matters now is us. Nothing else. Forget about the war, about what happened before this moment’’.

          ‘’Including my sister and her family?’’ Petunia can’t help but to spat out bitterly. ‘’How can I do that?’’

          ‘’Simply: Think about our family, about me, and this little one here’’ Severus concludes easily, his palm lingering around her lower flat, belly. ‘’I will not hunt her down, neither her or her husband. I cannot assure her protection, it will rely on her and her intelligence, but I can guarantee my men will keep them out of our list. Please, let’s move forward, eat something, have a nap, and finish packing, I need to do some tasks before picking you up’’ Heartbroken, Petunia nods, rewarded for her good behavior with another kiss.

          ‘’Take care and come safe back to me’’ She pleads. ‘’I will not survive if anything happens to you’’ Severus looks at with gentle eyes, an unusual sight in such a brutal general.

          ‘’Don’t worry about me. Rest’’

          …

Once Severus is gone, she tries to eat something. Her stomach burned for the lack of food, not that she was deficient in any, her hidden sanctuary was filled to the top with food, water, books, and any other necessity that Petunia could ask for or need. Only some Death Eaters were aware of her location, and they knew that if any harm came to her, Severus would wipe them out of existence in the most painful way he found.

          However, anything she puts in her mouth tastes like ashes and death. She’s a traitor. She chose the man she loved over her own principles and family. ‘’I don’t want to fight’’ She remembers telling her sister. ‘’I can’t! I…! Lily! Lets just…! Let’s escape! James, you and Harry! We can move to another country, change our names, no one needs to find out!’’

Lily looked at her with deep offense. ‘’How could you stand here doing nothing!’’ She yelled at her. ‘’There is a war already! They are ready to kill us with no second thoughts, people like you and me are the first in their lists! You cannot be a coward!’’

          Petunia looked at her, aghast. ‘’I don’t want to fight, Lily, I don’t wish to be part of this!’’ She wanted to have a quiet life out of the city, with her dreams of opening a potion store with Severus. They already had plans about it, since they were students. ‘’I can speak with Severus…! Please, lets just…!’’ Lily, outraged, slapped her sister harshly before holding her by the shoulders.

          ‘’Petunia, he betrayed us! All this time he was playing us! You cannot trust that man! He caused the death of half the Order! You need to understand that he is no longer your lover, he’s our enemy, he used you! You need to stand up and fight back!’’ Petunia looks devastated about the statement.

          ‘’He’s my Sev’’ she said with a broken voice. ‘’He would never hurt me, we… we are getting married’’ Lily looks at her sister with disbelief, how could she still be repeating the same silly excuses after all that had happened? Severus Snape was a traitor of the worse kind. He deserved to be beheaded publicly for all his crimes, and Petunia still defended him?

          ‘’…Are you with him?’’ Lily released her sister as if she burned her.

          ‘’What…?’’ Petunia stood frozen in her place.

          ‘’Did you know?’’

          ‘’Know what? He never told me anything about his plans! I didn’t know he was a Death Eater! I thought he was going on missions! Like you and James!’’ Lily seems to believe her for a moment, but there is anger and hurt in her eyes.

‘’..He’s here’’ Petunia whispers, frightened, Lily more than scared is defensive, she firmly takes her sister’s hand in hers. ‘’Get out! Go, go! I’ll distract him meanwhile’’

          ‘’What? Have you lost your mind? You are going with me!’’

          ‘’Lily, please, he knows I’m here, he will suspect anything if I don’t attend to our monthly dinner. Just… Go, okay, I’ll see you in a minute too, need to speak to him!’’

          ‘’No, no! You can’t speak to him, he’s a monster, I can’t leave you alone with him!’’

          ‘’Lily…!’’

          ‘’He has wiped out entire families, Petunia! He’s dangerous!’’ Both sisters hear the knock on the door and get still in their places. ‘’go with me, we will see what else you can do aside from fighting…’’ She whispered quietly, her heartbeats were louder.

          ‘’Petunia, are you there? May I come in?’’ Severus deep but kind voice called her, Lily was surprised for a second. This was the same man that almost killed James the night before if not a few hours ago.

          ‘’…Give me a moment my love, I’m not presentable. Please wait for me on the living room’’ Petunia does her best to keep her voice from breaking. ‘’Could you start the kettle for me? I’ve left some fresh biscuits next to the oven…’’

          ‘’Don’t take too long Petunia, I need to speak to you about some important matters’’ Severus tone is always patient, and kind even when direct towards her, Lily knows it.

          ‘’Petunia, let’s go’’ She shakes his head.

          ‘’I can’t, he will track me down immediately’’ She eyes the door, uneasily. ‘’Get going, I’ll meet you in an hour’’

          ‘’We don’t have an hour Petunia!’’

          ‘’Trust me! Please! Go!’’

          ‘’I’ll be coming back, I swear!’’ But that was the last time Petunia heard her sister’s voice. That day, Severus took Petunia to his personal fortress.