Chapter 3
The cabin looked beautiful from the outside, but the only concern Remus had was the fact it looked rather small for 8 people. They all looked a little confused by this, except James. He just smiled as he didn’t notice the fact that the rest of the group looked like they somehow ended up at the wrong house. Remus was the first to follow him into the house as he started to get a little cold standing outside in only one layer.
Inside the house even as beautiful as the outside. The inside was decorated with loads of flowers and plants and the furniture seemed old but not too old, and Remus loved it. It looked like a place he definitely could spend days in. But when he finally got over the decorations, he noticed it did in fact not have enough rooms for two couples and four single rooms. “Okay now time to find out who sleeps with who!” James smiled way too wide. For Remus’ liking.
“James, what the fuck?” Remus snapped his head to the side where Mary stood with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth and looked at the small cabin. “Now, why is there not enough rooms?”
James smile only faltered a bit. “Well, you know,” he trailed off. A guilty look appeared in his eyes.
“Prongs what did you do?” it was now Peter’s turn to question him.
“I might have booked this cabin without knowing how many rooms it was…” a few ‘what’s and ‘Potter, you idiot!’ came out of that. “What?! When I found out it was too late and the lady who owns it was so sweet and caring. And I knew if I told you, you wouldn’t have agreed to come.” At that he looked over at Remus.
“Why are you looking at me?!” Remus cried out a little offended. At that, they all began to laugh, well except for Remus. As if it couldn’t get worse Sirius’ laughter almost overshadowed all the others and his oh so beautiful laugh forced a Remus smile to appear at his lips. “Ugh fine, but I am not sleeping with Peter,” after an ‘OI’ followed by a flick at his temple he continued, “sorry Pete, you’re a kicker.” Another flick to the temple.
“Well, I need privacy so, one of you three can sleep on the couch.” She pointed at Remus, Peter, and Sirius.
Sirius looked a little unbothered and just grabbed Remus’ arm. A little ‘yelp’ came out, and before he knew it, he was standing in the master bedroom, Sirius’ hand still in a tight grip around his arm. “Moony and I are sleeping in here, sorry Pete.” He looked back at Peter and just stuck his tongue out in a playful manner. Peter just laughed at that.
“Wait, why do you get to get the master bedroom?” James complained.
“Happy to answer that my dear Prongsie. You see, since you were the one who didn’t book enough rooms, you don’t get it.” Sirius answered easily. Lily just glared at him, but she didn’t bother to argue, she knew better. “Don’t look at me like that Evans. This is your man’s fault, and you should stand by him” Again the famous Sirius Black grin spread across his face and his eye wrinkled. Yeah, it was most definitely the most beautiful smile Remus ever had seen. ‘Don’t think about that now!’ was what went through his head again.
“And what about us?” It was Marlene that was the one who spoke up, but it was clear that Dorcas agreed with her.
“My dear McKinnon,” ‘don’t start on that bullshit with me Black’ “well it is a known rule that you snooze you lose.” Marlene looked like she was about to argue but when Dorcas snorted, she just hid a smile in defeat. Sirius smiled across the room. “I need to unpack but you lot can just stand there while Remus and I make us comfortable.” He said and sent a wink Remus’ way. Yep, Sirius is going to be the death of him.
After the others went away to their new rooms Remus finally got a good luck at the room. And, oh, it was as beautiful as the cabin. There was a king-sized bed standing in the middle of the room and a picture of the mountains over the bed. The window was also a great view, tall, dark green trees lingering around the house and deeper into the forest and there was a little lake besides. “It’s beautiful.” Remus wasn’t sure if he said it out loud but when he turned around, he saw Sirius starring at him softly. Shit. Remus felt his cheeks starting to heat up and quickly began to unpack his stuff.
-
They all found themselves sitting in the sofa area, a couple glasses wine in and playing games and talking. After a bit when another laughter had died down, Remus, as always, a very clingy drunk was leaning his head up against Lily’s when he heard a quiet yawn. He looked besides him and saw Lily’s tired eyes trying to stay awake. He looked over at James and saw he clearly noticed too. He smiled at that.
The first years at their school James had more often than not tried to get Lily to go out with him or even just get her attention. She did not find the constant compliments and dates offers charming and thought he was making fun of her, but over the years she started to gain some self-confidence and slowly stated gaining his trust she said yes. Being best friends with both it made Remus extremely happy to see his friends, finding happiness in each other. Remus hoped to have what they had one day, but the one he wanted it with, did not love him back.
“Okay guys I think we should call it a night” James brought him back to reality and Lily, the ever so stubborn drunk, claimed she wasn’t even tired. A small laugh rose from the group and Remus found himself smiling over the fact that he had such an awesome friend group.
First it was Lily and James that went to their room and after a short while Remus bid a quick ‘goodnight’ to the remaining and his body almost moved for him as he began walking towards the bedroom he and Sirius shared. He could hear footsteps behind him and small whispers of sweet ‘sleep well’s. He didn’t bother looking behind him because he knew, it was Sirius, who was following behind him.
He got his stuff and went out to the nearest bathroom. Again, Sirius followed shortly after. So, there he was, him and Sirius standing beside each other brushing teeth often smiling when they caught eye contact in the mirror. It felt awfully domestic, and Remus wish he was in another universe where maybe, just maybe, Sirius loved him back. Remus knows it’s stuff like this that’s the reason he can’t move on, but he also knows he can’t bring himself to stop doing it.
When he first started to notice he acted and felt different around Sirius, than the other boys, he started avoiding him. He would wake up earlier and get back to their dorm late at night and just avoid normal conversation as much as it was possible without starting any alarms that something was wrong. Remus didn’t even know what was wrong, but he knew there must be reasons he didn’t feel normal around him. He would always get nervous every time they were in a room alone together, his heart would start beating faster every time Sirius touched him (which was often), and how his mind would wander to what it would be like to touch his lips with his own. And that scared him, so he did what he always does, avoid the problem, till it goes away. But after an unbearable week of little to no ‘Sirius’, it didn’t go away, and the others had started to notice his odd behavior. Sirius, the ever so thoughtful person, was of course the first person to notice but didn’t mention it at first. After the long week he finally cornered Remus. After class he grabbed Remus’ wrist and pulled him aside. Remus’ heart was going crazy.
Remus waited for it to happen. Sirius would hit him and tell he was disgusting for thinking those things and tell him he didn’t want to be his friend anymore. But it never did. After what felt like an eternity Remus looked up. Sirius was now the one looking down at his feet, and a different person perhaps wouldn’t notice but Remus did, his eyes were ever so slightly filled with tears. “Padfoot, what’s wrong?” he whispered afraid to break the silence.
At the sound of his nickname, Sirius snapped his head up and looked him in his eyes. His beautiful grey eyes meeting Remus’ dark amber. “What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’? I should be asking you that.” His tone, clear with hurt. When Remus didn’t answer he continued. “You have been avoided us all week. You have been avoiding me all week,” and with a smaller voice he said, “Did I do something…?”
And what? Because it was Remus who was in the wrong. He was the one with the weird feelings. “No, Sirius. I don’t even know what’s wrong. That’s the problem. I just- I’m sorry.”
And Remus felt like crying. He had hurt Sirius, and he hated himself for it. His cheeks felt wet, and before he even realized it Sirius was hugging him. It felt like home and that was when Remus first realized the feeling probably would not go away anytime soon.
-
They were now in their room. Sirius walked over to the window closed the curtains. He was wearing a too big t-shirt and some bottoms. And Remus was losing it. It definitely also didn’t help that he still had a bit of alcohol in his blood. Controlling his thoughts, he turned the light off and went under the covers.
Not wanting silence at the moment, he began to wonder out loud, “Don’t you think it’s so nice that Prongs and Lils are together? They fit each other’s personalities so well.
At that Remus heard a little laugh besides him and it made him frown. “You always get so sentimental while drunk Moony.” Remus just hummed. “But yes, I agree.” He ended with a small laugh
And yeah, Remus tried to focus to what he was saying but he was getting cold now. He did not think his packing through when he only had packed t-shirts to sleep in.
“Jesus Rems, I can hear your shivering over here. Come closer.” Okay, another thing Remus didn’t think through. But he didn’t not want to be all cosy with him, so he just sighed and wiggled so he was closer to Sirius. As he did, Sirius beautiful laugh was heard while he said, “What are you doing moons? You look like a fool.” A grunt from Remus’ side just made Sirius laugh even more.
When he finally made it over, he felt an arm sliding over his waist and pulling him in. “Why didn’t you just move towards me instead of watching me suffer?” He felt small puffs of laughter hit his neck and it made him shiver, that or the cold did he honestly didn’t know.
“Maybe I just wanted to look at you worming over to me. Oh! We should have called you Wormy instead of Moony, Moony!” They started laughing again and Remus felt that familiar warmth flooding through his body.
Sirius was now so close to him that he almost forgot about the cold, almost. His knee was pressed against Remus’ thigh, his clothed chest against his back and to make it all better (or worse) his head was nesting in the crook of his neck. Remus exhaled a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding and tried to start resting.