Chapter Six
School sucks. There is so much annoying about it, Mary doesn’t even know where she should start. Well, how about the dress code. Her father organized her some weird big robes with a white shirt and a tie underneath it, which is the most stupid thing ever. Marlene tried to help her make the tie on the first morning, but Mary quickly went to Lily, since her tie at least looked half decent. Marlene swore she knows how to do it, but even Lily just grimaced. Which says a lot.
So, yeah, stupid dress code and then there is also the times and the subjects they have. The only half decent subject is History of Magic and maybe if you stretch it, Herbology. The other ones, though?
Potions, Transfiguration, Astronomy? And what the fuck is Defence Against the Dark Arts? But, hey, it can still get worse. Fucking flying lessons. On those stupid broomsticks.
Everything is just so ridiculous. Mary half expects a camera to just pop out somewhere and inform her that this has all actually just been a big joke, because surely no one can be seriously learning about different stars and their meaning.
They do, though. Lily is amazed by them, while Marlene mostly just talks about the upcoming flying lessons. She basically only talks about Quidditch, like right now.
“And then he threw it, but the keeper just caught it right from the air. It was so fascinating.” She whisper-shouts leaning into Mary’s space as they sit in Potions and watch Lily throw random objects in the big pot in front of them.
“Fascinating.” Mary mumbles, her finger following a pattern on the wooden table.
“Totally.” Marlene pushes her light brown hair out of her face. “That’s how they won the first game, but I am sure they won’t last long. I mean, yeah, technically they have some good players, but as a team? No, not so good. They just don’t work together, you know?”
“Hmm.” Mary hums, only listening slightly. It is way too early for whatever they should be doing.
“That’s what so great about Quidditch.” Marlene continues. “It’s not just a game, it’s about team play. Playing together and working as a group.”
At this Lily looks up and narrows her eyes at them ever so slightly, but Mary still notices.
Mary’s lips turn upwards as she sits up. “So, Marlene, being a team player is important, you say?”
Marlene nods immediately. “Totally. Can’t win, if you’re not working together, you know?”
“Sure.” She points at her. “Would you say you’re a team player? That you can work in a group? Help someone? Not just, I don’t know, let someone else do all the work?”
Lily’s eyes narrow some more as she watches the scene.
“Of course.” Marlene answers, oblivious to what Mary really means. “I would never let someone else carry all the work. That’s not fair, you know? Work as a team or leave the pitch, I’d say.”
Mary grins. “Yeah, totally.” She turns to Lily. “What would you say, Lily, is Marlene a team player?”
Lily rolls her eyes, but then smiles immediately when Marlene turns to her.
“Come on.” Mary encourages her. “Would you say, if there was a group task, a task for a group, if Marlene would be, lets say, in a group of three, would you say, she’d do anything? Or would you say, she’d just, I don’t know, talk about her hobbies?”
There are daggers in Lily’s eyes as she looks at Mary, who is painfully obvious referring to what they are just doing; sitting in Potions class, with a group task of brewing some weird potion, while Lily does all the work and Marlene and Mary just sit around.
“Come on, Lily, don’t let me hang here.” Marlene grins.
Lily presses her lips together and for a moment Mary isn’t sure if she’s about to shout or laugh, then she just smiles. “I think you’ll be doing great on the pitch.”
Mary grins. “See, you’re doing great.”
Again, Lily rolls her eyes so fast you’d miss it, if you blinked, but Mary sees it. She opens her mouth, wanting to say something as a loud explosion stops her. Simultaneously they all turn around to the dirty table in front of James, Sirius, Peter and Remus.
“For fuck’s sake, Sirius.” Remus says, running a hand through his hair. “You can’t just put all the pieces at once in it.”
Sirius grins. “But where would be the fun then?”
“The fun is now right in front of you.” He rolls his eyes. “Clean it. You, too, James. I just hope for you there are still spider fangs for us.”
“Hey, Remus?” Lily calls him.
The boy turns to her, scowl still on his face. “What?”
She smiles. “We have some left overs, if you want.”
He looks surprised, but then nods, walking to them. “Thanks.”
“How’d they do that?” Marlene asks him, now suddenly interested in the pot in front of them.
“How’d they do what?” Remus asks.
Light flashes in Marlene’s eyes. “The explosion. That was super cool.”
Remus frowns, but before he can say anything, Lily stops him. “Absolutely not, Marlene.”
She pouts. “What? Why?”
“Why?” Lily stares at her incredulously. “Look at their table!”
“And? Nothing you can’t clean.”
“Only idiots explode their potions, that’s why.” Lily declares, when her eyes suddenly widen as she turns to Remus. “Sorry, I mean-”
Remus shakes his head. “No, you’re right. Only idiots do that.”
Lily laughs slightly. “Well, yeah. I just hope ours will end up good. I can’t get it to have the right color.”
“Yeah? Can I look?”
“Sure.” She steps to the side, so that he can lean over the table and look in the pot. “See? It’s slightly blue, but Slughorn said it should just be green.”
“Oh, yeah.” Remus nods. “Ours was just the same. I thought adding leech juice might help, but then Sirius chose to just put everything in it.” He rolled his eyes.
Lily laughs again. “But that’s a good idea. Can you pass me the juice? We can try it.” They immediately turn their whole focus on the pot in front of them, both a look of deep concentration on their faces.
Mary throws Marlene a look. “Nerds.” She mouths, which makes the girl giggle, when suddenly someone kicks her under the table. She looks up to Lily, who just raises her eyebrows pointedly. And Mary shouldn’t find this as funny as she does, but she still can’t help but grin at the absurd situation in front of her.
“So, as I said,” Marlene continues. “Teamwork is the key to a good game.”
***
“Read that.” Lily says to her as she lets a big book fall on the table in front of Mary.
“What?”
Lily rolls her eyes. “Read it. It’s the book I told you about, Hogwarts History.”
“And?”
“Merlin.” Lily mumbles, again rolling her eyes. “If you want to find a way out, you need to know all about Hogwarts.”
Mary narrows her eyes and looks skeptically down at the book. It’s really big. Like, really.
“Do you want to go out?” Lily asks with raised eyebrows as she sits down next to Mary in the library.
Mary scoffs. “Okay, fine. I’ll do it.” She sighs, very loud, very dramatic, and opens the book. “Why is the writing so small? How is that even possible?”
“Have you ever read a book?”
“Of course, but they hadn’t had writing that’s so small I need a lens.”
Lily rolls her eyes, again. “Don’t be dramatic. It’s a good book.”
“Don’t roll your eyes at me.”
“Don’t give me a reason for it.”
Mary whistles. “Wow, I tell you to insult me one time and now you can’t stop or what?”
To her surprise, Lily starts grinning, green eyes shining. “What can I say, it’s fun.”
“Fun?”
She shrugs, still grinning as she looks away. “I’ve never been this…”
“Rude?” Mary gasps dramatically. “What a bad girl, you’re turning into.”
Lily rolls her eyes. “Well, at least I’m not mean.”
Mary hums. “I don’t know. One might interpret what you just said as mean.”
“No, that was just-”
“Honest?” Mary watches as Lily frowns slightly. “You know you’re allowed to be honest, right?”
The girl looks down, red curls covering her face. “I just don’t want to be mean.”
“So you’re saying lying to someone is not mean?”
Lily’s head snaps up. “I am not lying.”
“Yeah, you’re just not saying the truth.”
“Because the truth is-”
“Mean?”
They look at each other for a moment, Lily’s cheeks slightly pink. There is anger in her green eyes as she stares into Mary’s. “Just because you don’t have any empathy doesn’t mean you can just treat other peoples feelings like shit.”
“But it means lying is alright as long as no one gets angry?”
“Maybe I just care for others.”
“And maybe I care for myself.” Mary counters.
Green fire ignites in Lily’s eyes. “That’s no reason to push yourself above others.”
“But it’s reason enough to not let them push me under.”
Lily crosses her arms. “What? So, you want me to be mean and rude and annoying?”
Mary scoffs. “I couldn’t care less.” She counters, which makes Lily narrow her eyes. “But-” She continues. “If you’re already asking, I think you should stop lying and just be honest.”
“I am honest.” Lily insists.
“Yeah, with me. Come on, treat others how you treat me. Treat yourself better.”
Lily raises her chin. “Then you should start caring.”
“I do care.”
“You care about yourself. Just because you’ll leave, doesn’t mean you can treat everyone like shit on purpose.”
Mary narrows her eyes, then shrugs. “Fine. Whatever.”
Lily holds out her hand, to which Mary her eyes rolls, before she takes it.
“Be honest.” Mary stresses.
Lily smiles sweetly. “Be nice.” She lets go of Mary’s hand. “Now read that book.”
“Ugh.” Mary groans, but opening it again nevertheless. “How is the writing so small?” She mumbles, basically hearing the eye roll from Lily.
***
“What are you doing?” Someone asks, making Mary look up from the book Lily gave her in Peters face.
She looks pointedly to the book. “Reading?”
The boy huffs a laugh. “Well, obviously. I was asking what are you reading.”
“None of your business.” She pauses, remembering the talk with Lily. Rolling her eyes, she corrects herself. “I mean just a stupid book, Lily gave me.”
“Not good?”
“Horrible.”
“Hmm.” Peter makes, sitting down next to her on the sofa in the common room. “Do you wanna play chess?”
Mary stares at him. “What?”
“Wizarding chess? I have a board from my father, if you want.”
“Why don’t you play with your friends?”
Peter rolls his eyes. “James and Sirius are in detention. Again. And Remus sleeps.”
“He sleeps?” It’s not even past dinner.
He shrugs. “Said he had a headache or whatever.” He smiles again. “So what do you say?”
“I don’t even know the rules of chess.”
“Doesn’t matter. They’re easy, I can show you.”
“Why don’t you ask Marlene? Or Lily? Or, I don’t know, literally anyone else?”
Peter rolls his eyes again. “I don’t want to discuss with you, I want someone to play chess with. Come on, do you want to or not?”
Mary scoffs. “Fine, asshole, but I’m definitely beating you.”
“Says the one, who doesn’t even know the basic chess rules.” Peter counters, standing up to get his board.
Mary has absolutely no idea why she agreed, but when Peter comes back, explains her the rules and they start to play in a comforting silence, she is suddenly glad, she did. Peter isn’t like Marlene, James or Sirius. He doesn’t talk without an end and grins and smiles and laughs all the time. He’s also not like Lily or Remus. He is just easy. Not complicated, not loud, not pissed, when Mary snaps. And after not even fifteen minutes, Mary feels herself relax in his quiet and yet steady presence.
And after another fifteen minutes, she even opens a conversation. They first talk about the classes they have, rating them from one to ten, then about their teachers, about McGonagall’s judging looks, about Dumbledore’s stupid beard and Slughorn’s weird passion for potions. It’s easy, it’s liberating, because finally, finally, someone says exactly what she thinks.
“And,” Peter adds, as he moves his pawn. “I heard that Slughorn had something with a student once.”
“What?” Mary stares at him incredulously, while moving her rook, taking Peter’s pawn. “No way. As if he would ever go against Dumbledore.”
He shrugs. “I heard they weren’t caught, but when she left Hogwarts she suddenly announced she was pregnant.”
She scoffs. “But that could’ve just been a random guy.”
He nods, before leaning forward. “That’s what I thought, too. But right as she left Hogwarts and announced that, Slughorn sold some old mansion off. And no one knows where that money went.”
“Oh, fuck.” Mary shudders, while giggling slightly. “That’s disgusting.”
“Right?” He grins.
“Imagine you’d be with Slughorn.” They share one look, before bursting out laughing.
“Okay,” Peter starts. “But, like, if you had to choose. Slughorn or Dumbledore?”
“Eugh.” Mary pretends to gag. “Don’t make me picture that. Help, I think I would rather die.”
“Nope, that’s against the rules. You have to choose.”
She raises her eyebrows at him. “Well, who would you choose then?”
“Dumbledore, obviously.”
She laughs. “Not obviously! Fuck, Peter, really him?”
“You’d choose Slughorn?”
She thinks for a second. “Yeah, probably. Eugh, I hate you for making me say that.”
He only grins, while moving another chessmen. “Checkmate.”
“Check-what-now?”
“You’ve lost.”
She stares at the board. “What? No, that’s not fair.”
He huffs. “You just suck.”
“I want another round.” She demands.
“Tomorrow. In fifteen minutes is dinner.” He smiles. “But that wasn’t as pathetic as I expected for your first game.”
“Asshole.”
“Looser.”
And that’s how Mary started to spend her time in between classes with Peter Pettigrew, playing chess and gossiping and just sitting together in a silence, that doesn’t feel as suffocating as everything else. On other days Mary would just read the books Lily would give her. Big, long, exhausting books about Hogwarts and the magic there, how everything works and what spells are thrown over the big castle. She tries to blur the rest out, tries to just concentrate on getting out, on her father, her home, while every spell, every class, every second in the school felt like poison slowly dropping into an open wound.
She would cry sometimes. Okay, that’s a bit of an underestimation. She would cry often, laying in her stupidly soft bed, arms wrapped around the pillow, thinking about her father, about poker, the sea, about her mother. She would cry and her nails would dug into her skin and blood would collect in her hands, while tears escaped her eyes and loud shouts echoed in her head, trapped behind a shut mouth and a bitten tongue.
So, yeah, school sucks.