An Empty Bed
His head ached as he lay still in his bed. Harry found himself sleepless yet again. Draco hadn’t returned to their dorm since yesterday’s events, and Harry was beyond worried.
His stomach churned as he ignored the need for food, not wanting to leave the safety of his sheets.
Glancing at the framed photo on Draco’s desk, his frown deepened. The blonde’s smile was so damn bright, the complete opposite of the face he wore yesterday. It stung Harry to remember how deeply he was rejected.
Yet he knew Draco felt something too, he had to. The way he cared for Harry and the way he treated him wasn’t a simply friendship, it was obvious to not just him but everyone else that it was so much more.
He wondered if this was the end of the line for him and Draco. If everything had led up to the great peak of that walk outside, and Draco made the choice of pushing Harry off it at the least minute.
The clock on the wall was the only noise notable in the room, the ticking sounds ringing in Harry’s ears. He felt drunk on emptiness, both in his stomach and his heart. It was dumb to think, but he felt heartbroken.
And upset with himself.
He knew that letting himself fall again would lead to this. He had promised himself to avoid any feelings like that till he graduated, or till the end of his life. He didn’t want to put himself on the spot like that only to be tossed away.
He felt sick, yet with no food, nothing happened. It was a constant loop of nausea.
A knock came from the other side of the room, and Harry flicked his hand, unlocking it. Draco had taken the time to teach him some wandless magic.
He knew the person on the other side of the door wouldn’t be who he hoped it would, and groggily attempted to sit up as it creaked open.
Ron.
“We need to talk,” He said calmly, shutting the door behind him and taking a seat on the vacant bed across from Harry’s.
Harry forced himself to sit up eight, unsure of what to say. “Uhm what’s up?” His voice sounded hoarse and unused, as he hadn’t spoken since his fight with Draco.
“I want to know why Hermione and I found Draco asleep in the common room this morning.”
In the common room? Fuck. And they probably weren’t the only two to see him there, rumors were definitely spreading by now.
“I know you two don’t like each other but I’m just trying to look out for you guys-“Well it’s not that we don’t like each other, I mean, we just had an argument. That’s all.”
Playing the defense card didn’t seem like the smartest move. Ron cocked an eyebrow, taking a glance over Harry’s current state.
“When was the last time you slept, you look like shit,” Examining the raven haired boy who was struggling to keep his eyes open.
“That’s usually my thing,” Harry mumbled.
Harry knew Ron meant well, and he was truly just worried. He chucked at his comment, rubbing his eyes, “I’m just having a rough day, that’s all.”
He paused.
“Do you think it could’ve been avoided?” He asked, staring out the window. Ron tilted his head, “What could’ve been? Your fight?”
“No, the war.” His mind had wandered back to those terrible memories. “Do you think we could have done something to prevent it, or was it bound to happen.”
When Ron lay silent, he carried on. “I can’t stop thinking about it and I feel like I’m going insane, I lose hours of sleep because it’s all I can think about at night. I can’t be trusted alone with my thoughts anymore because of how much it’s done to me and I-“
Tears poured, he couldn’t stop it before it happened. Harry trembled in his bed, his stomach punching him from how much emotion was being laid on it mixed with the lack of food. All he could do was choke on tears, his vision blurred, his head dizzy.
Ron was by his side in an instant, an arm around him for comfort. “I know mate, the war was hard on me too.”
“Those wounds will heal and-“But what if they won’t heal! Ron, everyone put huge amounts of responsibility onto me and they wanted me to fix things and I couldn’t.”
“But you did Harry.”
“No! People I loved died in that war, people our age, people I spent most of my life with, and I couldn’t save them,” Harry sniffled, his voice sore from crying. Ron patted his back gently without a word. He knew Harry just needed to let this out without interruptions.
Harry winced, feeling embarrassed for sobbing to his best friend, and heartbroken as he thought back to what had happened yesterday. He felt dizzy as memories of the ear flooded his brain.
“Ron, I’m tired. And I don’t want to be tired anymore.”