Shin Ramyun and Haribo.
*Harry Potter POV*
-September 1st, 1991-
5:00 am
I open my eyes and fall into my usual routine of working out. Vernon and I finish getting ready and freshening up by 7am before we have a quick breakfast and depart for the train station.
“Alright. I will be leaving do not miss me too much~”
“Bold of you to assume you'll be missed Harry” Aunt Petunia replies sarcastically.
“Aunntiee. Why are you being so meaan?~” I pout. While Uncle Vernon is busy trying to cover his laugh with a cough.
I wave and bid my goodbyes before silently apparating to the Leaky Cauldron and using the floo to get to the station as I technically should not be able to apparate to the station. Fuck legal laws. I’m rich andd the Boy-Who-Lived. I should be able to do whatever I want. I stumble out of the floo and fall clumsily into the station and curse every single eternal god out there then realise that maybe they might hear me and apologise. I lift up my weightless trunk and head into one of the carriages on the very far back.
*Text*
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing has sent a picture
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- I'll be waiting for you lot here.
*Off Text*
I close my phone and look up at Hedwig's empty cage before turning to Asmodeus with a thoughtful look.
~No, Dipshit, I will not bite Albus~
~Aww Snakey you wound me old pal.~
~I may or may not be able to spook him out though~
~Ehehehehe I see I have rubbed off on you Snakey~
I lift my head up as I feel the door compartment slide open and in walked Theo, Lorenzo, Blaise, and Pansy. I wave with exaggerated enthusiasm as Theo slides into the seat next to me and Lorenzo sits on my other side. Blaise and Pansy sit across from us as Snakey pops out.
“Holy Fuck knuckles is that a snake?”
“Fuck knuckles? Really Blaise?” Lorenzo asks with a smirk and amusement glancing in his eyes.
“Shut up. I had to cover it up around my mother.”
“Its fine Blaise we get it your gay.” I respond with a sly smile as I wiggle my eyebrows and pretend to be Ron.
“Pff. Look the Italian Mob Boss is blushing...”
“Damn Pansy be careful. I don’t want to have to bury my friend in case you know he pulls one like his mother.” I say as I realise everyone freezes before all bursting into laughter including Blaise.
“OH. DAMN. Go Harry.” Lorenzo wheezes.
“Smooth, Darling. Real smooth.” Theo chuckles lightly.
“Alright that was nice not gonna lie. Even if it was my mother.”
“What was nice? Who’s banging Blaise's mother?” A soft voice asks from the doorway.
“Everyone Run. A bush has come alive its going to attack us. Take cover.” I mimic a panicked voice before bursting into laughter with a teasing tone.
“God damn you Harrison James Son-of-A-Bitch Potter.”
“Nevermind folks false alarm. Its just Hermione with my favourite Shin Ramyun.” I said enthusiastically only to get an eyeroll in return.
“What’s this about you having other Shin Ramyun’s? Aren’t I the only one?” A very small and cute Ron walks in.
“Ronnikins I missed you soo much my Shin Ramyun.” I said as I started to fake cry dramatically.
“My Haribo. I missed you too.” Ron replies as we both pull each other into a dramatic hug and pretend to cry.
“My two best friends for the 7 years of my life people.”
“My poor innocent angel. I’m so sorry for your sanity, Love.”
“Finally, someone who understands I can kiss you for that comment Riddle.”
“OI” Me and Shin Ramyun both shout.
“Can I ask since when the fuck did this ‘Shin Ramyun’ thing happen. Did you two see each other in secret and have some inner jokes or smth?” Draco asks clearly jealous but as my typical usual oblivious self his jealousy flies right over my head.
“Oh no.I was eating Ramyun a few days after we all met up at Diagon and thought the red package reminded me of the Weasley's with their red hair. So, I did the reasonable thing and texted Ron privately and told him about calling him Shin Ramyun from now on and that we can surprise you all when we meet on the train.” I explained casually not paying attention to the relived looks that Theo, Lorenzo, and Draco all wore.
We all head inside the compartment and I smile as I sit in-between Lorenzo’s legs as Theo sits to my left and Draco sits to my right. I lean on Lorenzo as the others were discussing some topic.
“The sorting. What do we do? Do we just go to our original houses or have everyone in one house?” Asks Blaise.
“I think we should let things flow as it is. Like let the hat decide and we just roll with it. Regardless we all can still contact each other. This way even if by some miracle we end up all in the same house we can just shrug our shoulders and say we where destined to be like this.”
“That seems so wise yet so relaxed. I like this option. I agree with Hermione.” Says Theo as he nods his head.
“Agreed.” Was heard around the compartment coming from everyone else. ‘I guess we'll just let fate decide whether she wants to continue fucking with us or not.’ I thought with a shrug before snuggling into Lorenzo and falling asleep.
“Wake up Harry we are almost here.” I heard as I was gently tapped awake by Theo who was already in his robes. I mumble some curse words at him before getting up and stretching my sore muscles. I look around at everyone already dressed in their robes and look at myself before cursing.
“Merlin’s saggy left ba- oh my god. Ew no why do wizards have such cursed curse words?! Now my brain is fucking filled with that image.” I moan as I bury my face in my hands only to immediately open my eyes as I do not want to see such horrifying images. I do not notice the bawling laughter that is filled in the room due to my comment.
“Oh no forigve us your highness.”
“We have sinned and do not deserve to be forgiven. Have mercy.”
To everyone’s surprise it was Shin Ramyun and Bush that was on their knees and begging to be ‘forgiven’
“As I was saying... what was I going to say again.... oh right. Why did none of you bother to change my clothes for me don’t we have spells for that shit?” I ask with a raised eyebrow as I changed my clothes with a spell before fake pouting as I sit back down on Lorenzo’s lap. I lasted two seconds before the three of us bursted into bubbling laughter.
“I swear that was funny before and still is funny now.” Shin Ramyun says as both Bush and I agree with him.
Soon it was time to get off as we all separated into three groups. Ferret, Broken lungs, sunshine, and I in one group Italian mob boss, sarcastic woman, and Shin Ramyun in another group and Riddle Spawn and Bush in another group. We headed to the boats and sat on the last three boats. As we ride past the bridge everyone turns to look at the castle in all her glory. Damn I’m home.
“Guys. Anyone up for a swim?” I ask as I look everyone in the eyes and after receiving 8 positive glances I jump into the lake. I don’t hear anything other than muffled shouts and screams before 8 more splashed and everyone else has joined me. Lorenzo takes out his wand and spells everyone to sprout gills and we just swim in the black lake occasionally tickling the giant squid and showering him with attention. Soon mermaids join us and we talk with them and make new friends before goofing off in the lake.
Eventually we swim back to the shore where we all dispel Lorenzo’s spell and swim up to the shore where a panicking Hagrid and a bunch of other first years are waiting.
As we all just shrug the worried look of Hagrid off and head inside the castle only to be met with Mcgonagall and her stern gaze at our wet appearances. All of us just casually shrug and tune her out as we wait for our cue to head into the great hall. After an eternity of waiting, we all line up and head into the Great Hall receiving multiple stares for our wet clothes. We all just roll with it as none of us look at Dumb-Ass-A-Bitch-Door. But just in case we all have really weird and crazy mind places as we all had studied subtle Occlumency to prevent our knowledge of the future to be leaked. Now as for the next part of our Plan gain Sevvy darlings trust.