Well Fuck Dumbledore.
-June 23rd, 1991-
4:00 am
*Harry Potter POV*
Blackness. Nothing else. I'm starting to panic that I fucked something up again when I remembered everything.
"Oh shit. Did I die? Oh, wait never mind. I have my eyes fucking closed wonderful. I'm going insane with the weight of the wizarding world. Hah Fuck."
I sit up getting ready to stretch and start my day when suddenly I have a strange sensation on my left side. It feels like there was something touching me. Wtf. If everything is correct, I should be in my cupboard with no one else. So, I did the most reasonable thing to do. Scream and punch. Well, it was a piece of string. And now I am being yelled at by Petunia for waking her up how nice. Once she finally goes back upstairs, I go out to the local park to do some stretches and light workouts. I decided to test my stamina only to be more fucking furious at Dumbledore for placing me with abusive muggles. Never mind let's just focus on getting better.
I go back home and check the time. 7:00. I go for a shower and come out smelling better than a baby's arse. Wait. Oh shit, it's supposed to be smooth as a baby's arse. Well, guess I smell better than shit. Nice. I walk into the kitchen and start cooking breakfast for the fucking obese Dursleys. There were only the drinks left when Aunt Petunia walked downstairs to wake me, and I could tell she was quite shocked. I broke the compulsions on her and watched as she was thinking. I could tell she was having a moment and left her to it.
"I... I don't know what to say. I promise I never meant to do any of the things I have done. Oh, Lilly. I'm so sorry for disappointing you I don't even know why I did what I did. Harry. Please. Believe me. I-"
"It's alright Aunt Petunia. I know you didn't mean to. I believe you and I'm positive my mother did as well. You were forced to by Dumbledor. I undid all of it though don't worry."
"Thank you, Harry. Could you please help me store some of Dudley's presents away? I never did want to spoil my child beyond belief."
"Of course, Aunt Petunia." Wtf. Dudley's presents. Why would he have presents wha? Ohhh. It's Dudley's birthday that makes sense I swear I'm so dumb sometimes it's not even funny. With a wave of my hand, I banish most of the presents to Aunt Petunia's room and continue making breakfast.
Seconds later I can hear loud stomping and creaking from the stairs signaling Vernon and Dudley's arrival. Honestly how the fuck that staircase still has not collapsed is a fucking mystery. I mean it has two whales going up and down it constantly. A big round of applause and congratulations to you staircase good job. I lift my head up and focus on the conversation going on.
"How many are there?" Dudley practically demands
"36... wait there was more when I placed them last night." Vernon bellows until something clicks in his god-knows-how-it-functions-tiny-fucking brain. He turns to me, and the ghost of a smirk appears on his face.
"It was you wasn't it, Boy? You wait. I will give you the beating of your life for stealing Dudley's present you-"
"It was me" What holy shit. OH MY GOD Aunt Petunia. No way.
*Dramatic betrayal Music*
"Petunia? What is the meaning of this?"
"I-I went through the presents and thought that some were unnecessary. I will send them to the store to return." Vernon, Dudley, and I all gasp. I did it just for the fun of it but still.
"And starting from today You and Dudley will be going on a diet. So, I would suggest that you two enjoy your last unhealthy meal."
Dun.Dun.Dun.
She didn't. She fucking didn't. Damn, she's awesome. Fuck you Dumbledore for taking her away.
"But-but. What is going on?" The Walrus demands. Dudley starts fake crying and wailing for his presents.
"Now let's eat breakfast and go to the zoo as we planned." Walrus reluctantly sat down and ate while Dudley opens his remaining presents. Like in my past life, the Dursleys get a phone call from Mrs. Figg that says she can't look after me and I am forced, quite literarily, to come. As we enter the zoo everything goes the same way as it did in my past life. That is until we reach the reptilian section. This time I walk straight to the giant Boa constrictor and start hissing at it because I want a snake and why the fuck not. It'll piss Dumbledore off so FUCK YEAH.
~Hey, there~
~Ooh a Speaker~
~Yes. That's me wassup. Would you like to come with me?~
~Sure, Speaker~
~hehehehe I have a snake companion fuck yeah this is awesome~
~Maybe I chose the wrong human...~
~Too fucking late. Wait two seconds I'll get you out of there mwah~
I walk away and snicker as I imagine the horrified expression of the snake as I sent it a kiss. Pfft, I am a fucking genius. I stand next to my Aunt and discreetly keep an eye on the Boa constrictor. Once Dudley and his friend went towards the snake and pressed their faces up against it, I waved my hand and made the glass vanish. This resulted in Dudley and his friend falling headfirst into the Boa's sanctuary. I tried so fucking hard to control my laughter. I swear that was hilarious no matter how many times it happened. I alerted my Aunt and Uncle and the three of us rushed towards Dudley. I secretly shrank the Boa and hid him underneath my extremely large jacket from Dudley. We went straight back home after that. I had no punishment and Vernon even slightly nodded in my direction in acknowledgment. That felt fucking weird I'll be honest. I did the rest of my chores and went back to my cupboard and lay down. Then I remembered I had a fucking snake wrapped around somewhere. I panicked and got up hissing softly at him.
~Shit. Sorry you dead?~
~Wow. I really got a weird human~
~Hey! But it is what it is snakey~
~I'm not complaining you seem strong and the best of us are a little bit weird.~
~Glad to know we agree. So, what's your name? -
~My name is Asmodeus~
~Please call me Harry, Asmodeus. Can I call you Deus for short or Snakey? ~
~Alright, Harry. I'll call you dipshit then.~
I chuckle light-heartedly at Deus's humor and nod my head telling him that I don't mind. Suddenly the phone that I received from Death starts buzzing. I pick it up and open it.
*Text*
M.R.=Mattheo Riddle
T.N.=Theodore Nott
L.B.=Lorenzo Berkshire
D.M.=Draco Malfoy
B.Z.=Blaise Zabini
R.W.=Ronald Weasley
H.P.=Harry Potter
H.G.=Hermione Granger
P.P.=Pansy Parkinson
Death;)
Life:)
_Fate_
_Destiny_
Time
Day
Night
The_Red_Head
Prongsie;)
D.M.- Yo.
H.P.- Tf do you want
H.G.- Language, Harry.
H.P.- Let me be woman. I am a free soul. And don't act all fucking innocent we all know you're not. <3
Death;)- @D.M. Your parents have been informed about your cousins' situation. The story is that after she was kidnapped, she escaped and ended up in Wool orphanage. They will pick her up from there. Don't tell her about you guys coming back.
H.P. has changed their username to The_one_who_causes_every_fucking_thing
D.M. has changed their username to Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple
H.G. has changed their username to Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google
R.W. has changed their username to Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life
P.P. has changed their username to Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm
B.Z. has changed their username to Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss
M.R. has changed their name to Fucking_hottest_Riddle
T.N. has changed their name to The0;3
L.B. has changed their name to Why _am_I_Fucking_here
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- Hey guys:|
Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss- Hey
Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm- Hoi
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- Hey
Fucking_hottest_Riddle- Yo.
Why _am_I_Fucking_here- Wassup?
Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss- What's wrong?
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- She's screaming at me for annoying 'Perfect Percy'
The_one_who_causes_every_fucking_thing- Molly?
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- Yes :(
Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple- LOL. Good luck, mate.
The0;3- Yep. Just saw and haha. Suck on that Weasley<3
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- Really feeling the love here folks. ;}
Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm- Yo, @The_one_who_causes_every_fucking_thing. What's your social media?
The_one_who_causes_every_fucking_thing- I can't have one yet I need to wait until my birthday when I get my letter and go 'buy' a phone. I'll tell y'all when I get one:/
Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm- K. It's late I'm going to head to bed. Gn.
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- Gn.
Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple- Gn.
Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss- Gn.
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- Gn.
The_one_who_causes_every_fucking_thing- Gn.
The0;3- Peace
Fucking_hottest_Riddle- night
Why _am_I_Fucking_here- Gn.
*Text Done*
I close my phone got changed and settled comfortably on the bed. Before sleeping though I remembered to charge my phone and set an alarm for tomorrow. Let the fucking plan: Destroy mf Dumbledore begin.
-July 31st, 1991-
5:00 am
I wake up to my alarm ringing at 5am. I splash my face with water to freshen myself up a bit then get changed and walk out the front door to do my daily exercises. I usually do this with Vernon but sadly he is on a trip overnight and will be back tonight so it's just me today. It's lonely. I come back from exercising at 7.00 every day and today was no different. I take a shower and come downstairs and cook breakfast with Aunt Petunia. By the time I'm done with everything its usually 8.30ish and so when I walked into the kitchen, I see my Aunt.
"Morning Auntie."
"Morning Harry and happy birthday."
"Thank you, Aunt Petunia." Fuck yeah. The letter is here. I can finally start my plans NYAHAHAHAH.
"Your Letter is going to come today so be prepared for that and I got you a present that I hid under your bed for you"
"Thank you, Auntie. I'll open it later." I turn around and open the windows to refresh the air inside. Once done I turn to my Aunt, and we start chatting about everything and anything like usual. We stop when there is a loud sound of footsteps. I stand up and wait for him to sit down and bring him his organic juice. I sit down next to Aunt Petunia and start eating my portion of food. Just as I finished eating and cleaned my plate the mail post arrives.
"I'll get the post." I offer and can barely conceal my happiness at getting that bloody fucking letter. Just you wait Albus. Just you FUCKING wait. Nyahahahahahahahaha.
I get up and walk towards the door to get the mail that had just landed on the floor. I check through them and find my acceptance letter, which I shove into my cupboard, and walk back to the kitchen. I hand the mail over to Petunia and take the finished plates to the sink and wash them.
Once I'm done with the dish washing, I walk up to my Aunt, and she gives me my chore list for the day. Once I'm done with the chores with a bit of magic, I go into the kitchen to see Aunt Petunia drinking tea and doing the crossword. I look around to see Dudley but when I only see my Aunt, I deduct that he is gone to a friend's house. I take this opportunity to go to my cupboard and bring out my letter along with my present. I walk into the kitchen, sit across from my Aunt and open the letter to 'read' it.
"Auntie my letter came. It says I must go buy certain things for school and that I must reply. Can I borrow a piece of paper and a pen to answer?"
"Of course, Harry. Let me just go get one for you quickly." She walks back in with a fancy looking envelop, paper, and pen.
"Remember to be very polite when you write the letter, to annoy a certain someone." I nod my head and inwardly do my evil maniac laughter and write my letter. When I'm done, I show it to her, and she approves so I place it neatly in an envelope and address it to Hogwarts. The letter said:
Dear Deputy Headmistress,
I would be delighted to attend your prestigious school located in Scotland. I do not, however, need assistance to collect my school supplies. I hope that this letter finds you in great health.
Yours sincerely
Hadrian James Potter Heir to the Most Ancient and Noble houses of Black and Potter
I look outside to see an owl waiting patiently on the edge of the kitchen window. I go up to it and tie the letter to its leg and tell it to give it to Miss. McGonagall. I watch as the owl flies away and only when it flies out of sight do I turn around to face my Aunt.
"Right. It's currently 12pm I'll take you to the place you need to buy your school equipment, however, I can't go in with you seen as I'm not a witch."
"That's alright Auntie I have a clear memory of when my parents used to take me there as a baby."
"Alright then, go get changed and we can go. I'll go straight home after dropping you off I know that you have made plans."
"But before that, I need to open my present ehehehehh." I opened the present to see that my Aunt bought me my own phone? Wtf? I look up to see my Aunt standing next to death and smiling at me.
"Well. Death explained everything to Vernon and I the night of Dudley's birthday. I thought that if I gave you a 'phone' as a present Dudley wont question it. And yes, we are working on Dudley together."
"Ahh. That explains why he suddenly was nice to me. So, you were both hurt by Dumbledor. Fine I'll make him pay. I'm hoping you'll stay as my guardians?"
"Of course. I give you full permission to do what you see fit" We look at each other for three seconds before breaking out into laughter. It felt good to have an adult know what was going on and support me about it. Fuck yeah.
"So. How's the weather upstairs your high and mighty Majesty?" I ask death in a teasing tone.
"Ah the weather is very spectacular in the high heavens. Especially with life and Time breathing down my neck :(" Death sighs in the most dramatic manor possible and falls on to the couch like in those theatric ways. I shake my head at Death's antics and go get changed into 'decent' clothes tell Deus that I will be gone for the day and walk out the front door. The only respond I receive is a soft low chuckle from death. I walked into the backseat of the car and took my phone out.
*Text*
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing has sent a picture
*View picture*
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- On my way to Diagon Ally.
Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple- Ooh meet you there, Potter.
Fucking_hottest_Riddle- I second^^
Why_am_I_Fucking_here- Third^^
The0;3- Forth^^
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- Meet you there Haribo. Fifth^^
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- Haribo 😂
Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm- *Audible Gasp* ShE kNoWs HoW tO uSe EmOjI's.
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- Pfft😂
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- Wow guys. Just Wow :|
The0;3- Aww. Guys, google knows everything. Who is surprised?
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- Tf? You fuck-
Fucking_hottest_Riddle- Calm down love. Shut it all of you.
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Alr. We get it no teasing Riddle's girlfriend folks. You heard that? Also, is anyone else coming?
Fucking_hottest_Riddle- Potter, I'm warning you zip it.
Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss- @The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing Pansy and I are coming to;)
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing-Mione?
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- I just asked my parents, and they don't know the way so...
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Niceeeee. Mione, could you send me your address?
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- Sure. It's *random street*. Y?
*Off Text*
"Auntie can we pick up a friend of mine?"
"Sure, Harry. What's their address?"
"*Random street*."
"Alright off we go."
*Text*
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Mione tell your parents that were coming to pick you up and get ready I'm not planning on giving you back. Nyahahahahah.
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- Thx Harry. I owe you one.
Fucking_hottest_Riddle- @Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google why do you owe him one for taking you away from your parents, Love? What did they do? @The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing tell me.
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- I don't know I just picked up a friend it's her thing ask her yourself.
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- It's nothing big. My parents are muggles. They don't approve of magic. It goes against their religion, so they think I'm a demon or smth.
Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss- What the fuck? And you all still wonder why we hate muggles @Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life @The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Shh. We get it now. Not important.
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- Okay, well looks like everyone is coming. :)
Real_Life_Google_- @Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life Lmaoo mood. They agreed to let me come, though they said they have to meet you first. And a heads up they might say very insulting things too you. You know the drill.
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Like what they did to you after they figured out you were a witch in the original timeline?
Real_Life_Google_- How? Did you?
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- I'm not as blind as you think I am. I noticed while we were still in school, I promise I did try to do something about it, but I was a kid. This time I'm going to do everything I can to protect you so you can relax. I've got your back.💪That goes for all of you btw. <3. Anyways, I'm coming to rescue you princess👑.
*Off Text*
I close my phone and can feel my anger about to burst. Once again fuck Dumbledore. Mione' went through so much yet I didn't see anything because of fucking Albus. I swear I will never let him control me ever again and do everything in my power to protect her. My Sister. To protect them all. To protect my family and Albus can fucking suck it.
I calm myself down and lean on the window and close my eyes.
"Harry. Harry? We are here."
"Huh? When wha-." I open one eye and look around in a daze. Once I knock some sort of sense into my head, I realized we have arrived and get out of the car. I do a once over and once I've deemed myself acceptable to go visit her, I knock on the door. The door opens seconds later to reveal a mop of bushy hair.
"Tf. Huh? Never knew Mione' had a hobby of growing plants? Thought that was more Neville's type of thing? Meh." I reply teasingly only to get a smack in the arm.
"Ow. Ow. Mione'! Your plant is attacking me." I laugh at her red face and flick her forehead with an affectionate smile.
"Harry! It's not my fault my hair is curly, and I refuse to use gel and ruin my perfect hair like your certain boyfriend." She huffs and wiggles her eyebrows at me, and I can feel my face grow hot at the mention of Draco.
"He's not my boyfriend. We are just friends. Yeah, yeah. I get it, so ready to go?"
"Ah, you must be the Mr. Potter that my Hermione has told us about?" a man with light brown hair states, while eyeing me carefully and wrapping his hands on Hermione's waist in an uncomfortable way. This reminds me of the incident Mione' mentioned just as the battle was over.
*Flashback Start*
The battle of Hogwarts had just ended recently, and the three of us were talking with each other.
"Hey. Umm. Don't you two find it curious as to why I didn't go look for my parents again?"
"Well yeah, but everyone has reasons do they not? You didn't mention it, so I didn't bring it up."
"Harry?"
"I agree with what Ron said. Tell us when you feel comfortable."
"Well, don't interrupt me while I'm talking. My dad tried to harass me. I just never felt comfortable with him ever since I started puberty, he kept being weird and I was uncomfortable. I later learned that he had some weird sexual thoughts and things with kids, and I was always one of his targets. He never actually did anything thankfully but still. It was traumatizing. I'm going to get therapy for it and try to get him caught."
*Flashback End*
Thank God this bastard didn't do anything, but I can never forgive him or myself for not doing anything for her.
"Please, it's Harry, sir" Damn I can't even be respectful without wanting to kill him.
"Well, hello Mr. Potter" A woman with dark chocolate brown curls and eyes says. The mother or the fucking accomplice as I like to say. She completely ignores my earlier statement and goes on with whatever fucking thing she has to say.
"I'm Mrs. Granger and this is my husband Mr. Granger and our daughter Hermione of course."
"Yes, yes. Where are your parents though? How old are you? How do you know Hermione. We made sure she wouldn't have any friends at school so she could always rely on me. So, How do you know MY Hermione and what do you want with her? Hermione dear, you should stay away from these guys they only want to bring you to hotels and fuck you. That's ALL they are after your body." Mr. Granger states.
"Your Hermione? Sounds quite peculiar and messed up when you word it like that, sir but of course you don't mean it like that do you?" I taunt with a raised eyebrow.
"You have some nerve boy. You hear him, Emma. Thinks he can say anything he wants and that we are not going to do anything about it. Where's your parents? I'd like to have a word with your parents. They must be sorry people if this is the product that they produced and raised." Oh, shit he went there.
"Father! Harry, I'm so sorry you know my father never meant those words. Please don't take them to heart. I promise I don't agree with him one bit, Harry." She looks at me with actual worry in her eyes and lets a few tears slip. I smile softly at her and pat her head.
"Mione.' Calm down. It's fine. I'm used to this type of treatment already." I turn to Mr. Granger and give him my best glare that I have developed over the years for reporters and stalkers. Damn the perks of being the Boy-Who-Fucking-didn't-Die.
"Mr. Granger my parents are dead. You say you are her father, yet do you know her? I probably can tell you more about her than you, her own father, can. Says a lot if you ask me. I'll have you know that I will be escorting Miss. Granger to get her school supplies." I pause and look Mr. Granger dead in the eye before continuing.
"Secondly, she is joining a different world. A world in which I was born and raised. I can help her more than you ever will be able to. If you really are her Father then you would agree with me but seeing as you are so against it makes me wonder... Are you really a decent father? And I'll have you know that in the wizarding world insulting one's family, especially dead family, is a heavy crime that you cannot afford to cross. Allow me to also introduce my Aunt, Petunia." I glare coldly, befitting of a Lord, at the Grangers. A small lie doesn't hurt. My gaze softens when I look at Mione' and tell her with my eyes to go get her stuff.
"Is there something going on that I should know." My Aunt stands in front of me blocking the Grangers with an unimpressed glare. Seconds later Mione's voice can be heard from the stairs.
"Harry. Can you please help me carry these things? It's a bit heavy." I don't waste a second and go up the stairs without shoes. I see her with all her bags and carry them all down the stairs and out the door to the car. My Aunt comes up to me to 'help' me load them into the car while actually giving Mione' space to talk to her parents alone.
*Hermione's POV*
"You know I actually know all about your weird sexual obsession with kids and have evidence of it. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is you can fucking suck it in hell Bitch. Have fun in jail~. Peace out" I grab my handbag walk out the front door and walk up to the car and sit next to Harry.
"So, you good?"
"FUCK YEAH. That felt fucking refreshing." With that Harry and I talked about random shit to pass time.
*Harry Potter's POV*
I took out my phone and took a selfie with Mione'
"For the others. Everyone is fucking worried for you." I say in reply to her questioning gaze. She smiles in return
*Text*
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing has sent a picture
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing - Got the girl in one piece. On our way.
Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm- Slaying babe~
Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple- Sexy🔥
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- I'm wearing Dudley's hand-me-downs? How is this sexy?
Why_am_I_Fucking_here- Potter. You'd look hot even if you wore a trash bag. Hush.
The0;3- Agreed ^^
Fucking_hottest_Riddle- ^^
Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm- ^^
Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss- ^^
Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple- ^^
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- ^^
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- ^^
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- I fucking give up
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Whatever, we are coming so see y'all. We will be waiting at the ice cream parlor. 💅
*Text Off*
-30minute drive later-
Once we reach The Leaky Cauldron Mione and I bid Aunt Petunia a good day and walk into the pub. When we entered, we barely took notice of our surroundings as we went straight to the back section and tapped the wall. Once the gateway opened, Mione' cast a glamour over me to remove my scar and we walked over to the ice cream parlor and sat down. Only seconds later did Mione' and I see a group of teenagers walk our way heading towards us.
"Oi Oi Oi. What's up Mione'. Where is Haribo and who is this guy?"
"Well, well, if it isn't my favorite friend Ronikins."
"Haribo? Ohh a disguise, smart idea."
"Thx. I did it"
"Alr. What do we do now?" Theo asks.
"Let's split into groups and go to specific shops. We can buy the supplies for everyone, and less time spent."
"Damn. Since when where you so smart Ron?"
"Fuck off Harry"
"Alright let's see I'll go with Mattheo, Pansy, Ron and Hermione to get books. While Harry, Draco, Theo, and Lorenzo can go get the equipment's. When we are done, we can just head to Ma'am Malkin's robe shop for fitting."
"Always the planned one Blaise?" I reply with a soft chuckle. We all agree with his planning but go to Gringotts first and each get an unlimited pouch and cards. After that we go our separate ways.
We went to each store and got supplies for everyone with occasional jokes and shit. Once we are done 30 minutes later, we walk over to Ma'am Malkin's and meet up with the rest of the gang.
"Oh. God, the flirts are back." Mattheo announces
"What are you on about?" I ask as I cock my head to the side.
"Yippee. Harry's being an oblivious twat. And the other three are drooling over each other and Ha-. Mmph." I can see Draco clamp his hand over Hermione's mouth. What's that about? Anyway. I go on to look at the fabrics and can't decide between Acromantula silk or Dragon hide robes. Honestly the only difference I see is one is expensive the other is not. Let's go with the expensive one because silk feels soft and expensive is genuinely always good.
"Choose the Silk one"
"Heh? Wha-. Oh, hello Theo" I look around in confusion and see Theo.
"Pfft. Hello, Harry. The silk ones softer and more comfortable to wear. Also, you look quite cute when you're confused." he says with a soft chuckle, and I can feel my face go hot. I tell Ma'am Malkin's what material we want, and she says it'll take a few hours, so we all leave to go get our wands at Ollivander's. When we went to Ollivander's we all had the same wands as last time. We got out and looked at each other before pulling up our hoods and going to Knockturn. We got a custom wand each without trackers.
"Right. Where to next?" Lorenzo asks.
"The muggle shopping center nearby?"
"Why the Muggle shopping center, Mione'?"
"Your Haribo needs new clothes look at the states of his clothes. I also need some muggle clothing so you guys in?"
"Fuck yeah. Let's go to a mall. I Wanna look around. But let's meet with our parents first." Pansy says and everyone, but Ron agrees.
"It's fine Ron. We'll talk to Molly together." I tell him and he smiles at me. We all go together one by one to everyone's parents and ask for permission to leave. When we reach Ron's mother, we all look to each other and nod.
"Good afternoon, Lady Weasley I am Hadrian Potter." I say as I bow and kiss her left hand as it is pureblood tradition. The others follow my lead and do the same things. The girls curtsying instead and ask for permission. Once she agrees we all place glamours to look 16/17 ish and go outside into the streets of London and look for a shopping mall. A few minutes later finds us inside a mall and we start to get our plan ready.
"Alr. So, we are in a new environment so let's not split up but stay together."
"Smart, Draco. But First FOOOD. Let's go." We all laugh at Ron's love for food and go to the food court and have Burgers and fried chicken. His face was comedy gold.
"WAIIT. You're telling me they have fried chicken. FUCKING fried chicken. And none of you fucktards told me?!"
"Yeah. Well, it's never too late to taste it now pretty boy."
"Who?" Ron asks looking around. We all turn around to see a handsome boy who winked at Ron.
"Well looks like you're getting hit on by a muggle Ron" I whisper to him. He looks completely flushed and smiled at me.
"You heard that Harry people find me attractive. I'm pretty." He says with the brightest smile on his face.
"You are love. You are very pretty" I reply to Ron
"Well, this is lovely, but we must get going" Blaise replies coldly. I smirk at him and wiggle my eyebrows before looking at the random dude.
"That's fine if you wouldn't mind giving me your number, pretty boy?" I laugh so hard at Blaise's cold expression as Ron gives the guy his Instagram. I make eye contact with the others and point towards Blaise with my eyes. Once the guy leaves, we all finish our food and go to the first cloth shop we see. "Alright bitches let's have some fun." I yell and we start enjoying the day.
*A few hours later*
We all went back to the Leaky Cauldron and went straight to Gringotts to take a few tests and see what we should do.
I let Riddle do this part as he has power.
*Mattheo Riddle P.O.V.*
I walk up to a teller and bow my head at him and state our names and our purpose here today. The others following my lead. The goblin looks at us in shock before bowing back and leading us to a room in the very back.
We all kneel before the Goblin king and pay our respects before he allows us to sit and talk.
"I'm going to be honest, sir. All of us are from the future with valuable information and we are willing to take an inheritance test if necessary." After that everything went smoothly, and we all did the tests. The results were not smoothly though.
*Harry Potter P.O.V.*
I look at my inheritance test results in fucking shock.
Fake Birth Certificate
Name: Harry Potter
Father: James Potter
Mother: Lilly Potter
Godfather: Sirius Black
Godmother: None
Siblings: None
Inheritance: Human
Mate: None
Guardian: Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Petunia Dursley
Core: Light
Abilities:
Parsel tongue: Blocked (99%)
Parsel Magic: Blocked (99%)
Wandless Magic: Blocked (99%)
Wordless Magic: Blocked (99%)
Trust Compulsion: A.P.W.B.D, Ginny Weasley,
Love Potion: Ginny Weasley
Hate Potion: Tom Marvolo Riddle, Severus Snape, Slytherin, Dark side
Real Birth Certificate
Name: Hadrian Arcturus Potter-Black
Father: James Charlus Potter-Black, Regulus Arcturus Potter-Black (Blood adoption)
Mother: Lilly Potter-Black (Née Evans)
Godfather: Sirius Black-Lupin, Remus Black-Lupin, Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy, Frank Longbottom
Godmother: Narcissa Black, Alice Longbottom (Née Fortescue), Minevra McGonagall
Siblings: Draconis Lucius Malfoy (Godbrother), Neville Longbottom (Godbrother)
Inheritance: None
Mate: 3people identity unknown.
Guardian: A.P.W.B.D (Illegal), Petunia Dursley (Muggle), Sirius Black-Lupin (Azkaban), Alice Longbottom (Illegally placed in coma),
Core: Grey (Binded 99%)
Abilities:
Parsel tongue: Blocked (99%)
Parsel Magic: Blocked (99%)
Wandless Magic: Blocked (99%)
Wordless Magic: Blocked (99%)
Death magic: Blocked (99%)
Trust Compulsion: A.P.W.B.D, Ginny Weasley,
Love Potion: Ginny Weasley
Hate Potion: Tom Marvolo Riddle, Severus Snape, Slytherin, Dark side
All blocks placed by A.P.W.B.D.
What the actual Fuck? I'm Pissed so bloody fucking pissed.
"Beautiful absolutely FUCKING beautiful. I have a fucking father that I never knew about. Albus, you fucking piece of fucktarded bitch I'm going to fucking torture you to death" I seethe
"Could you please get rid of all our blocks and spells and compulsions and can we get a heritage test for Harry and Hermione please." Mattheo asks. The goblin nods his head and hands out a parchment to me and Mione' to look at.
Heritage Test
Name: Hadrian Arcturus Potter-Black
Heir: Black, Lupin, Snape, McGonagall,
Lord: Potter, Gryffindor (Father), Slytherin (Conquest), Peverell (Conquest), Gaunt (Conquest), Le-fay (Mother)
*All Lord ships and Heir ships may be claimed upon the age of 11*
The rest of the test was about how much money each vault had. I'm rich. Damn bitches. We all went and got cleansed painfully.
Once everyone got cleansed, we thanked the goblins and left. Well folks. This is great.
"Right Let's have some ice cream before we leave?" We all nod at Lorenzo's suggestion and walk to the ice cream parlor and sit down after we order.
"Alr. Let me make an account." I said as I busy myself with Instagram and make an account.
-July 31st, 1991-
17:30 pm
"Well. We part way's here piece out bitches. Let's meet up again sometime."
"No~~ Haribo don't leave me."
"Yeah. Blaise come collect your man" I reply and can see Ron flush completely red. We all part ways and leave to go home.
-July 31st, 1991-
18:00 pm
"I'm Home~~" I yell as I walk in through the front door and drop my stuff inside my cupboard and get changed to a pair of pajamas and go to the kitchen.
"Wassup." I say as I see Dudley in the kitchen with Vernon.
"Welcome Harry. Would you like dinner?"
"No Aunt Petunia. I already ate. Do you need any help?"
"No. I'm fine Vernon helped." I nod get myself a juice from the fridge and sit down next to Dudley and across from Vernon.
"I see you are back from your trip Uncle Vernon. How did it go?"
"Quite fine actually I got a few more steps before I seal this deal but enough about work. Happy birthday. I left your gift in your room along with some other presents that seemed to have come through the mail btw. I do hope you enjoy it. How's your day been? I heard you went with your friends to buy your school supplies. Did you have enough money?"
"Yes. Yes. I had enough money sir. No need to worry. Got to buy some clothes quite fun." Our conversation went on about random things and just soft chatter. After dinner we all went our separate ways to bed, and I sat in my cupboard. I had enchanted this place with magic to look like a normal room with everything I could need. I found Uncle Vernon's present to be a smart watch that seemed to be magical with a questioning look I open the note that came with it.
'Harry,
This was your father, James Potter's watch for when he turned of age. While I know you are technically 21 mentally, I thought it would be wise to give you this. James gave this to me before they went into hiding and told me to give it to you if something had happened to him. I hope you liked it.'
I'll be honest I may have cried a little bit.
I went to look through the other presents I got. One by one. Pansy, and Hermione got me K-pop merches and light sticks? Mattheo got me a bunch of tickets? WAIT two FUCKING seconds. K-pop tickets? THERES A FUCKING concert. FUCK. yEAH. Ron and Blaise bought me a few albums I was missing. Draco got me a clearly obviously handmade yet very sparkly and elegant looking green apple necklace with the words 'your favorite ferret' engraved on the inside. Quite cute if you ask me. Lorenzo made me a pair of handmade earrings that resembled two little green snakes crawling on my ear. Matched my eyes apparently. And Thedore made me a black ring with silver linings that came together to form the words Mischief Managed over the silvery white Stag, Wolf, Dog, and Rat. My eyes watered at everyone's gift for me and took out my phone.
*Text*
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Pieces of shits the lot of you. Also I know you are dating other people Mattheo but I CAN FUCKING KISS YOU RN <3 @The0;3 @Fucking_hottest_Riddle @Why_am_I_Fucking_here @Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life @Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google @Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple @Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss @Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm
Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm- Hmm? Wha? Rude bitch. He's mine
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Your man got me concert tickets. <3
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google- He has a point. @Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm
(Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple- Don't kiss him. Kiss me.) *Message unsent.*
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- @Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple You say something?
Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple- Nah just spelling mistake. Congratss~~
The_Red_Head- Happy birthday, Harry.
Death;)- ^^
Life:)- ^^
_Fate_- ^^
_Destiny_- ^^
Time- ^^
Day- ^^
Night- ^^
Prongsie;)- ^^
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Thanks but woww. The effort.
Fucking_Obsessed_with_green_apple- Happy birthday, Potter <3
Italian_Fucking_Mob_boss- HBD Harry.
Lives_off_Cafeine_and_Sar-fucking-casm- ^^
Real_Life_Mother_Fucking_Google-^^
Chicken_Nuggets_Are_Life- Happy Birthday, Haribo.
Fucking_hottest_Riddle- Hbd mate.
Why_am_I_Fucking_here- Happy Birthday, Love
The0;3- Hbd dArLiNg~
The_One_Who_Causes_Every_Fucking_Thing- Thank you. Loved the gifts.<33
*Off Text*
I smile softly as I look at all my gifts. I have friends and a family that cares about me. Fuck you Dumble-Fucking-got-to-many-names-whore you won't take them away from me. Not this time. I hug my necklace close to me and smile softly as I think of Draco, Lorenzo and Theo.