The Web Of Love

Charlie was sleeping in a hospital bed that was too big for him, and Blaise was all the more aware of how young their son still was. He and Hermione sat next to his bed, Hermione holding Charlie's hand and Blaise holding hers for a change, his other arm wrapped around her shoulders. The initial shock was slowly wearing off, which meant he could start thinking rationally again. Hermione had explained everything to him and there seemed to be a lot of hope that everything would indeed be fine.

And as they sat there in silence so as not to disturb Charlie, unusually it wasn't Hermione who was lost in thought, but Blaise. Although he didn't like it, he replayed it in his head all early evening. He hoped that he would never have to feel this way again, but he was no fool, it was more than clear to him that he would have many more moments like this in his life. But as he thought about it, he remembered the moment when he had so bluntly shouted at the hospital nurse, and Hermione had come to his aid. She told the nurse that he was her husband. He hadn't registered it at the time, but now he could see it all too clearly.

He wanted to be her husband. Everything that mattered to him in life was right there with him. He was incredibly stupid to let it go and even more stupid to keep himself from it. If he hadn't been so stubborn, maybe they wouldn't have divorced at all. But once he said it out loud, he refused to take it back, no matter how much he wanted to. Today he knew what he had done wrong then. If he was given another chance, he was sure it would be for the rest of their lives.

"Marry me," he blurted out softly before his thoughts tried to convince him otherwise, as they had for the entire year they'd been apart.

The brunette tensed and gave him a confused look. "What did you just say?"

"Marry me," he repeated, his voice firmer.

Hermione just stared at him in silence. She was incredibly tired and worried about Charlie, so it was very likely that she had fallen asleep and was only dreaming. She had no other logical explanation.

"Is this a dream?" she asked hoarsely, her gaze wandering back to the sleeping Charlie. If it was a dream, her little bug would be awake and healthy. Sure, she'd always wanted Blaise, even though she'd learned to live with them just being friends, but she'd never wanted anything more than Charlie being healthy and happy. So she kind of guessed what Blaise's answer would be.

"It isn't," he replied, taking his hand off her shoulders. “I don't know what exactly I would have to say to make you forgive me for all of this and consider going to put with me again, but the truth is, I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I convinced myself that it was my destiny to love you but not to have you, but I want you. I love you so much that there are no words for it, Hermione Granger Zabini,” he blurted out at her with an unusual amount of emotion.

Hermione would have liked to jump around his neck in sheer joy, but it was time for her to think of herself first. It hasn't been long since she finally found balance in her life again. And this was a really emotional evening for both of them. She couldn't follow him blindly, even if she didn't want anything else, because she knew very well that she wouldn't make it out of it again.

"That sounds nice, but are you sure about it? Because if you change your mind tomorrow, I won't be able to handle it,” she told him and swallowed hard.

"No, no, listen to me," he said quickly, grabbing her cheeks. "Everybody tried to open my eyes all that year. Show me how incredibly stupid I am, but I didn't believe them. I desperately didn't want to hurt you again, but somehow it didn't occur to me that just by staying away from you, I was hurting you. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but the divorce is the only thing I regret. We belong together, Hermione. I'm sorry I allowed myself to admit it so late, but now I know," he tried to convince her a little desperately.

His gaze drifted to her lips and before she could say anything he kissed her gently. He didn't want to pressure her, if she didn't love him or simply didn't want to be with him anymore, he would respect that. But he couldn't resist one last kiss.

The brunette didn't wait for anything. She linked her hands behind his neck and immediately started kissing him back. Because she simply could not do otherwise. This man was the love of her life, and she couldn't find the strength to say no to him when he wanted her again. She knew him. Despite all the obstacles that came into their lives, she knew him very well and knew when he was telling the truth. She knew she could trust him.

She pulled away from him and was about to tell him that she could marry him right now, but then she remembered what she had done. A little startled, she removed her hands from his neck and looked at the ground in shame. The time had come for her to pay for her actions, and she thought she had already done so with Draco's episode about wanting to be with her.

"I'd really like to tell you yes, truly," she began, taking a deep breath before looking at him again. "But before you ask me again, you should know something that might change your mind."

“Nothing can change the fact that I want to be your husband. It's just you, Hermione, it always has been. Even though we got divorced, you were the only woman who had my attention," Blaise assured her, having no idea how his words affected her.

Because yes, on the one hand, it was nice to hear that she was the only one for him, but on the other hand, his words stabbed her in the heart. If she had doubted how horrible of a person she was until now, she didn't have to anymore. She was the worst.

“You left a terrible hole inside of me, Blaise, and once I overdid it with alcohol and couldn't take it anymore. I had to fill that void. And unfortunately, it didn't end with that one night," she confided with a heavy heart.

"We were divorced," was all Blaise said, refusing to think of anyone touching his Hermione the way only he once could. It was painful. But he knew it was his fault, so he couldn't blame her.

The brunette nodded. "That's true, but it's not so much that it happened as it is with who it happened," she whispered quietly, trying in vain to hold back the tears that began to form in her eyes.

That startled Blaise. "Wouldn't it be better if you didn't tell me?" he asked a little coldly. He knew that he had to know now, or it would consume him until he did something stupid again, but he also knew that whoever it was, he wasn't going to like it one bit.

"It was Draco," she said quickly, wanting to get this over with.

"Draco," he repeated after her quietly, even though he wanted to start screaming, but he still had to think about the sleeping Charlie.

She nodded but said nothing. Tears rolled down her face that Blaise would have wiped away under any other circumstances and tried to comfort her. But under these circumstances, it was not possible.

"How many times?" he asked, as he was known to enjoy torturing himself.

"I don't know, I didn't really count," Hermione replied a little annoyed.

“When was the last time?” he asked another question, and the small hint of annoyance she felt disappeared very quickly.

She had foolishly thought that one extra night wouldn't make that much of a difference, but now she knew she was wrong because if she had persisted, things could have turned out differently now. She could tell him it would be more than a month, and he might be a little more open to accepting it. But she could only dream about that.

"Monday," she said in a horrified voice, fully resigned to her self-inflicted fate.