Chapter 1
Yet another gloomy grey morning. Sirius was helping Harry eat his cereal. Harry was the only sunshine in his life, even on gloomy sad days he was able to light up the room. Sirius was taking a sip from his now lukewarm coffee when he heard a tap at the window. An owl with a letter on its beak was tapping at the window.
"Oh! Oh! It's from Ron?" Asked Harry with a mouth full of cereal.
"I don't know, we'll see." Sirius got up expecting a letter from the Wesleys himself, for a playdate for the kids. But that owl wasn't the Weasleys. He opened the window and as soon as he took the letter for the owl it flew away.
He looked over the envelope and his eyes landed on the wax sealed with the Hogwarts symbol on it.
"Is it?" Harry was now at his feet, his firsts clenched in excitement.
"I'm sorry kid, it's not from Ron this time."
"Aw... " Disappointed filled his face.
"Tell you what, how about you go write Ron a letter and we can send it to him later?"
"Oh yes!" And he ran to the living room.
Now alone he sat at the kitchen table looking at the letter, who could it be from? McGonagall? She had sent him letters over the years, but there was only one way to find out. He opened it, it was in fact not from McGonagall… but from Albus Dumbledor. It read:
Dear Mr. Sirius Black |||
I'm writing to you over a request you had asked of me three years ago, it has been granted. If you will come from my office as soon as possible to discuss further details. The floo network will be open in my office till 12 p.m..
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore.
A request that he had made...three years ago. 1981.
He had gone to Dumbledore's office a few days after the 31st of October. He had shouted and screamed demanding to know where the hell Harry was. Dumbledore wouldn't tell him. He just kept on saying over and over that he is safe and he wouldn't need to worry.
`Where the fuck is my godson?!`
`He is in a safe place and you needn't to worry about him.`
`I'm his legal guardian! You can't take him away from me! `
In the end he got kicked out of his office getting nothing out of him.
`I think that was quite enough Mr Black.`
The only way he was able to find where Harry was was thanks to McGonagall
`What other relatives does the boy have?`
she had asked him when he was out of Dumbledore's office.
But what request is this letter talking about. He had taken Harry a long time ago, whether Dumbledore liked it or not.
Then it hit him he didn't only speak of Harry... He spoke of someone else too.
'It could have not been him!'
'Let me see him! I have to see him!'
His blood ran cold... How? Why? Why now? Why three whole fucking years later?
His head was spinning with questions he had no answers to. He sat motionless with the paper still in his hand. What was he supposed to do?
If he goes, will he be able to take it, after all he's been through. His wounds from the war had just barely started to heal and this would open them once more. He didn't know if he was strong enough...
Something inside him didn't feel right though. Something inside him didn't feel right for so long he had learned to live with it, for it to be a constant part of him. That too was a wound but this one was not closed. This one was still gaping dripping with blood. And no matter how much he tried to heal it, no matter how much he tried to look away to ignore it, it was inescapable.
Perhaps this would be the way. As much as it terrified him. Maybe if he got out all the words he carried with him, the questions, the pain, maybe this way he could get what he needed- closure.
"Finished!" He heard Harry shout out from beside him. He placed a paper in front of him with a drawing made out of crayons.
Harry! If he was going to go ,what was he supposed to do with Harry? He couldn't bring him with him through the floo network.
"Look! Look! That's me and that's Ron and that's Ron's house and that is the golden snitch."
'Ron's house'... Sirius looked at the clock on the wall -10:48... He could make it, if he was fast.
"Can we send it now Siri? Please?"
"Tell you what, buddy, you are going to give that letter to Ron yourself. Let's get your jacket." There was no time to lose.
Sirius rushed to grab a jacket for Harry and himself while from behind him hearing a loud victorious "YES!". From a forgotten, dusty spot in the closet he grabbed his helmet.
He dressed Harry as quickly as he could, putting on his shoes and jacket over his pajamas. While also making sure his letter/drawing would be safe in Harry's pocket then finally putting the way too big helmet on his head and then making it fit with a spell.
From the garage he brought out one of his old loves that was now left neglected and unused, his motorcycle. He put Harry on and then hopped on himself.
"Now I need you Harry to hold on as tight as you can!"
Lastly he placed an invisibility spell around them and they lifted off into the air. As the minutes ticked by as his time ran out his heart beat faster and faster as cold sweat was running down his back.
When they finally reached the Borrow he knocked on the door hard and loud. Percy wide eyed opened the door.
"Is your mom here Percy?" His voice came out thick and filled with anxiety.
"Oh.. um yeah. She-she is in the kitchen..." The boy muttered out, he looked at him as if he were a mad man, Sirius couldn't blame him.
"Molly!" He sounded "Molly!" She came rushing.
"Sirius! What the hell is going on? Are you ok?"
"I need you to look over Harry for me just for a few hours, please I beg you."
"Yes, yes I will, of course but what is going on, are you alright?"
"Please I'll explain everything to you when I'm back."
He looked around him searching for a clock -11:54.
"I need your floo powder!"
Molly at once ran off into her bedroom.
"Can I take it off now Siri?"
Harry was still wearing the helmet and jacket. Sirius kneeled down to take them off.
"Thank you." Harry smiled up at him and for just a second mind quieted, felt calm.
He watched him go up the stairs shouting 'Ron Ron! I'm here!' while holding in his little hand his drawing. He felt his heart tightening both with unending love and with sore pain over this kid.
Molly came back with a pouch Sirius had to come back to reality.
11:57.
He took a fist full of floo powder and rushed to the fireplace. "Hogwarts!" He yelled out loud and clear.
Suddenly he felt himself spinning around and his ears ringing, he felt cold and then hot and then he opened his eyes and he was in Dumbledore's office.
"Mr. Black just in time." He heard the familiar clam voice of the old man. "Please take a seat." Sirius complied and sat in one of the chairs facing the desk, only now did he realize his heart beating this fast. He looked around the room, suddenly he felt like a kid again attending Hogwarts.
Everything in his office was exactly the same, as if it was left stagnant in time.
He snapped himself out of his nostalgic immersion and looked at Dumbledore who was waiting irritatingly patiently.
"So you wanted to see me." Sirius said finally.
"Yes Mr Black. Like I mentioned in the letter I sent you, it's about a request you had asked of me. You wanted to see an inmate of Azkaban prison"
As he spoke Sirius took a look over him. He looked the same, he sounded the same. He too was left stagnant exactly the same as he remembered. He clenched his teeth to suppress his anger. How? How could he stay the same after the fucking war? How could he stay the same when Sirius was left in shambles and had to build himself up again whole even though there were missing pieces.
"-is that correct?"
"Yes." He muttered out trying not to sound as bitter as he felt.
"So do you still wish to visit Remus Lupin?"
'Remus Lupin' his name felt like freezing water falling upon him and his throat seemed to close up just at the sound of it.
" Y- yes..." a small pathetic voice came out of him he was scared to recognize it as his.
"Very well then. Then it's settled, in three days you will be granted permission to Azkaban island. You will transport through a portkey that will appear at your house. The portkey will be valid from six to six ten." Then he stood up and reached out his hand for a handshake, Sirius hesitated but ultimately coldly accepted.
As they walked back to the fireplace Sirius felt numb, he almost couldn't believe what he got himself into.
"Send my regards to Harry" Sirius was about to scoff at the statement as it was filled with irony but before he had the chance he was cut off "and remember Mr Black ,and now this is very important, remember the blue ceiling waltz!"
What the fuck did that mean?