Sorting Through the Feelings
Sirius’ POV
“We had a great performance yesterday and now we are back with the contestants for the next section were we would_” the MC was still speaking but I ignored him and instead focused on the smell of Remus sitting behind me.
It had already been an entire four weeks of the show running and four eliminations but Remus and I were personally a fan favorite.
At first, during the first dance I was extremely nervous about messing it up because I knew how much dance meant to him and I didn’t want to mess it up but once we were together on stage I focused on him and had a blast.
And as long as we did well this week, we would not be leaving.
Plus his hands all over me, touching and pulling and catching had been doing things to me all through the rehearsal weeks had been driving my body insane.
His thoughtfulness, warmth, playfulness, smartness and fierce protectiveness drove my mind insane.
My feelings for him were deepening as I spent more time with him and fans seemed to be catching up on it as I saw ship edits and rumors were spreading that we were secretly dating.
I leaned back to Remus to seem uncomfortable and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer which caused me to flush as my heart beat tripled.
He was always warm and he wore soft and fuzzy clothes making my eyes start drooping without my knowledge.
I fought to keep awake but jolted up and started clapping when I heard claps and cheers.
I frowned as a bowl started being passed around to each team and although confused, pulled one out of my bowl. “Fear?” I whispered to Remus confused and he nodded. “That’s our emotion.” He explained but my confusion must have been obvious because he just laughed.
“The concept is emotional expression. The emotion we got was fear.” He explained.
The shooting was wrapped up and the cameras were turned off and we all faced each other.
“Mary and I got happiness.” Lily squealed excitedly and Mary nodded along with her. I found out that they had been dating for about a couple of years and I got to hang out with them a lot.
“Of course you cannot choreograph it. For you to that you need to understand it which you do not because you’re a heartless person. They should have given us sex instead, since that definitely is all you understand” Evan screamed at Barty before storming out angrily.
Everyone had frozen to watch them and no one said a word even as Barty walked out from the practice room.
Pandora came to sit with us, she was a pansexual who was dancing with Xenophilus, another bisexual because a queer couple could also be straight presenting.
“Evan and Barty are arguing again.” she said softly, arranging the hem of her dress. “I think the issue is that they refuse to communicate with each other.” Dorcas added and her girlfriend sat beside her, nodding in agreement.
“Evan thinks Barty does not love him and Barty thinks Evan is too good for him because of his rough upbringing. It’s so tragic because it literally takes one conversation.”
“Well to us it’s just one conversation but to them it’s the deciding factor between being with the one you love and never being anything more or being more and risking losing the person. It’s not that easy.” Regulus said and everyone turned to him in shock.
He blushed and left the practice room. Saying goodbye to Remus I followed my brother saw he was heading to our room.
I gave three taps and sat down on the foot of the bed he was in a fetal position on.
“To be fair, he’s a great guy you could have done a lot worse.” I started with a joke hoping to cheer him up with our usual banter but he gave a sniff and my protective instincts kicked in.
I knew he wouldn’t appreciate touch he didn’t initiate in this mood so I decided to talk instead. He would react when he deemed it fit to.
“Loving someone is scary. Loving someone you’re not sure of their feelings is even scarier and loving someone while knowing you aren’t allowed to is even worse.”
He sat up and stared at me, looking way younger than he was.
His lips were trembling trying to stop himself from crying but his eyes were red. His posture was perfectly upright but there was fatigue in his face that was not physical.
It reminded me of the times I’d seen him as a child, doing his best to make life easier for me during my punishments while trying not to get in trouble himself.
“I’m pansexual Sirius.” He said calmly and not meeting my eyes. I had to stop myself from laughing.
Was he scared of my judgment?
“And I’m gay. It doesn’t change how you feel about me so it shouldn’t be about how I feel about you. You’re my baby brother and I will always love you.” I said and he sniffed, his shoulders trembling.
“This would make it too hard. Both of us cannot escape, they need someone there or else they would never let any of us go.” Reggie said and I nodded in understanding.
“I see how that is true, but Reggie, I cannot leave you behind. You and me. It’s always been just you and me.”
He smiled and finally came to hug me.
He didn’t even whine when I patted his head.
“I love you Regulus Arcturus Black. Nothing and no one can change that.”
He gave me a small smile and pulled away, looking a lot happier.
“and I love you too Sirius, in every universe.”