Chapter 10
Amara talked amicably with Daphne as they waited for the others until she heard a name she never thought she would hear again.
“Tracey, Davis!”
And just like that, everything seemed to stop.
Her body froze, her eyes wide as she slowly looked towards the sorting hat. Her magic seemed to stop in surprise and she stared at the girl on the stool.
Her face blank, Amara felt her emotions swirl confusedly and clash out with each other inside of herself but outside she looked like any other student.
Daphne, who was watching her with suspicion ever since her silence, froze once she saw the frown overtake the girls face.
Amara felt the adrenaline taking over her body. Excitement, anger, confusion and maybe even remorse or sadness were swimming inside of her. Her body was shaking ever so slightly with the energy inside of her and she felt her magic twitch in anticipation.
She leant forward.
A few minutes passed by, Amara was still waiting, it didn’t matter where Traceywould end up. It truly didn’t because Amara just.. Well she didn’t know what would happen but she could guess that it wouldn’t be pretty, for any of those involved.
“SLYTHERIN!”
Amara continued to watch, transfixed as the girl made her way towards their table.
As her eyes went towards the table already filled with frustration to the point of tears.
She took a moment to settle back into the chair just as the whispers and lacklustre claps filled the room.
Her chest tightened as she looked at Tracey. Remorse was not something she often felt but Tracey had always been Amara’s exception.
Amara didn’t give her space to sit alongside them. She already knew Tracey would not take it and all that would happen was make her look like a fool, and like Tracey was the bad one between them. She didn't need that. Didn’t want that.
Tracey didn't even spare a glance at their spot but she did hang her head lower than before even as her eyes burned with a mix of emotions towards the ground.
Amara stared at her for what seemed like an eternity until she finally seemed to settle. She could still remember. Oh how could she have forgotten her face.
‐—----------------------
Tracey glared at her with hatred burning in her blue eyes as she cradled her bloodied head.
“Are you enjoying the night, Tracey?” Smugness curled around her tone and she wet her lips.
Tracey shivered at the sight of that monster. She felt more like a prey than she should.
“You…you bitch” she spat with more venom than Amara had given her Credit for “what…what do you plan on doing?”
“What am I going to do?” Amara chuckled and bared her teeth in a resemblance of a smile “I am going to kill you, my dear.”
And kill someone she did.
—----------------
Lots of things had happened with both of them that night. Amara didn’t regret many things that night, the only thing she does regret was perhaps not being able to have picked up the broken pieces of Tracey and helped her glue it back together.
But it was not her place to help when she was the one who broke.
So she let her go her separate way after Tracey tired herself up from her rage and indignation and felt as if she, too, had broken something inside of herself.
She liked to think it was a chain that held her back. And maybe it was, but they both knew that Amara had that night passed her own limits. She too, had gone to bed broken on a fundamental level even if she would never admit it.
No matter. Not anymore.
For the first time the whispers stopped and she looked up to find every first year sorted. Now came the most dreaded part for her.
“Welcome! Welcome new students!” the old man whom Amara had been trying not to stare or look at for long stood up. His arms were stretched as if nothing in the world gave him more pleasure than seeing all of the students together that day.
Amara felt the back of her throat burn and had to take a moment to breath and this time, try to settle on the chair, lest she jumps and strangles him then and there in her search for answers.
Daphne eyed her strangely but she waved her off, staring at Dumbledore as unblinkingly as she could. Tracey was forgotten in the face of the man who they said was her magical guardian. A man who she never met but seemed to be keen on knowing everything. A powerful man.
A dangerous one, Mark would have whispered to her. Settling her nerves with only a few unspoken words of comfort and caution.
The man continued on to say some alerts but Amara could only stare unfocused towards him in an effort to stay on the damn chair.
Eventually he was seated again and her head turned sharply to Daphne who twitched a bit at the sudden turn of attention.
“Well,” her voice was harsh and she saw the girl be taken aback a bit and Amara-
Amara stopped for a second because, taken aback, Daphne looked a lot like how Tracey would sometimes be taken aback when Amara was angry and lashed out.
So she stopped, swallowed hard, looked at Tracey for a few moments, watching as the girl looked back because she had seen the interaction and looked back at Daphne.
Amara had wronged Tracey in many, many ways. Tracey may have once betrayed her, but damn if Amara hadn’t given what she got almost double the same amount.
Tracey used to be…better. As in, a better person than Amara, that was, before she broke because of Amara.
Amara had always been harsh and vicious, even to those she hadn’t meant to be with.
But Daphne didn’t deserve her harsh words, just like little Tracey once didn’t. She once thought she would have found pride in using her harsh words against Tracey but she has grown up now.
She wouldn't find pride in having hurt the people who didn’t deserve such harshness. Not anymore at least.
So.
No Dumbledore today. For the sake of her sanity.
A sigh and a soft smile on her face, it was perhaps the most honest you would ever see in her face without being Mark.
“ What classes are you looking forward to?”
She stayed the rest of the night talking amicably with Daphne, Zabini and Nott.
The other tables were either loudly talking about her or whispering. Well, what is it that they say? Bad news is still news? Or something like that. She didn’t care much.
The moment that they tried something would be the moment she would step up and put an end to their rumours. Public humiliation with a tiny little bit of sadistic tendencies does tend to scare most people away doesn't it?
Still, it was annoying that she had unfortunately sat with her front towards the other tables, she could see everyone and while normally that wouldn’t deter her, she would rather not eat having to know Weasley (the youngest) ate like a pig. At least his brothers had more tact than him. Even if it was not a much better comparison but still, they were at least not rude.
Apparently the feast began with a warning of a slow and painful death by the hands of whatever was on the third floor.
Well she’d have to check it out someday. Maybe with the twins since she had an inkling they’d be the ones more…agreeable…to her no self preservation type of plans, or as she liked to call: Ash’s Plans. Technically not her but still her.
Hopefully Daphne would get used to it.
Ah, who’s she kidding, from the way Daphne now looked exasperated when (only three times ok! Only three!) she started vibrating in excitement when she thought about what was to come, she knew that Daphne would be fine. If not because of the promise of power from Amara then because of the great ally. Amara knew Daphne was going to be great.
Walking down the halls of an ancient castle was an experience she never would’ve imagined living but here she was.
And it was..well, magical. To walk down the halls and see Ghosts passing by. To see important people in history, and talk to them too? Amazing.
Not that she talked with them since when any of them looked at her their eyes widened and they itched away from her.
But she guessed not everything could be as sweet as flowers, eh?
While Malfoy and his little group of brats (she should think of a letter name for them) were glaring holes through her skull, Tracey was trying to blend in with the crowd (and not working since Amara would never lose sight of Tracey not when after the girl broke, she had showed her true character)
(eyes burning with hatred and a mouth curled into a snarl as the girl tried to hit her using the shovel filled with blood. Amara laughed and realised she liked Tracey more after Amara had managed to break her. Break her mind into tattered bits and pieces and force her to swallow them back.
That night was special for both of them.
Amara found out that she was a monster. Tracey just found out she was one of a different kind.)
While all that happened, the older years were talking among each other.
Amara could feel her magic rising within herself as she forced herself to look straight.
Zabini looked between the older years and her with a bit of concern but nothing was said nor done.
She doesn’t forget the fact that most of these children are Heirs and Heiresses of powerful Houses who happen to be dangerously (and pathetically) submissive and following towards a (maybe not) fallen Lord.
She knows that maybe their parents have teached them more..inconvencional ways of making someone regret something instead of just talking.
Now, that is not a problem since she is more than capable of taking care of herself and her things but she also likes to keep her cards hidden in her sleeve until she finds herself cornered so, maybe she should first try to speak, try to debate, try to prove that she deserves to be here as much as other more pureblooded do.
She wanted to show them how their words were nothing in comparison to her words.
She wanted to humiliate them in the sweetest way possible. Wanted to break their minds and sank her teeth in their necks so that they’d remember that forever.
Her smile became sharper, less calm and more predatory.
Oh, yes, she hoped they had the brains to back their heritage up because she would spare no one.
—
The common room was lovely, to say the least, but the company left much to be desired.
Slytherins prided themselves in their capability of thinking, adapting and having common sense above it all. She would know, she is one of them after all.
Not that they seem to either realise or care about it now.
Brute force was good, but not in this House.
Thankfully, Arcturus Black was as paranoid as the stories made him to be and unfortunately she is one of those poor souls that needed guidance.
Well, now was time to put to use all that she learned in that Library.
The prefects put themselves in front of them.
“This is Genma Farley,” The tall and broad shouldered boy pointed to the equally tall and strong but lean tanned girl “she’s in fifth year and she’ll be the one you can look for advice in problems regarding other students from their Houses or anything like that. I am Hans Avery, but mostly just call me Avery and you can look for me if you have any problems regarding classes and such.”
The girl steps up with a dark look on her face
“I imagine a lot of you already know or were made aware of this by older students but our House is not looked up to by the general population. The students may be friends with us and you may be able to have friends from other houses but they will always be a bit biassed. Years upon years of hearing how…dark our house is may do that to everyone.
That being said, we must always be united outside of this House. No students aside from the fanatical Gryffindor or the stupid Ravenclaw will throw anything your way and if they do, you get help from one of ours, we will always help the other in this House. Any fights between you must be kept under wraps and anything illegal must be told to the Head of House, Professor Snape '' she nodded towards the man in the corner who was watching them like a hawk. “He will decide whether you may keep it or may not.”
She paused.
“ The important thing to know is that everyone is welcome in this House.”
Sharp looks are thrown in the girl's way but she looks nonchalant as ever with the other boy glaring holes into the others who dared to look at her that way.
“No matter what other people say about this House, we will accept you. Except if you’re an asshole, then I don’t like you.”
The boy chuckled and so did the rest of the room. The tension was not gone but it was better than before.
The first years were instructed to go to sleep and were told they’d receive instructions to arrive in each classroom.
The girls arrived in the dorms and Amara could instantly feel the tension form into the girl that had followed Malfoy up and down.
“I didn’t think that they'd let two mudbloods inside the house. And for you” she glared at Daphne “to side with her” the girl's disgust was palpable from the other side of the room.
Daphne sneered but looked away and Amara stepped up. Amara knew the lengths of which Daphne's resolve was, could feel it in her magic, but Daphne’ mind was still so young, so…unresolved that if she wished to keep Daphne for herself, she would have to teach her, not let anyone else try to break her.
“Daphne aims for more than just an insignificant existence like yours, if you wish to live in misery then don't condemn others for not wanting your pathetic presence.”
Daphne chokes on her laughter and Amara hears a faint chuckle out of Tracey’s mouth.
Tracey may have just found herself alone. She had always had a spine made of Iron, even when Amara had ignored it.
“You..” The girl grit her teeth and stomped away. She raised an eyebrow and looked at Daphne with a smirk on her face.
“I feel like this year will be very interesting, eh?” Daphne smirked towards her and she didn’t stop the wolfish grin that overtook her features, even as the other girls shivered, even as Tracey stared at her mindlessly before going to her own bed.
Indeed. Interesting was one word for it.
—-----------------------
It was officially the third day inside Hogwarts and the first day of classes, a Monday. The weekend had passed with them talking to the prefects, exploring and enjoying the carefree nature of it all before classes finally started. No one could deny their excitement but also no one could deny their rather nervous nature. They wanted to do good on classes too;
The first class to have was Transfiguration with Ravenclaws. Professor Mcgonagall was strict and spoke clearly. Despite their last meeting having been somewhat intriguing and at the same time obviously somewhat nerve wracking for the revelations that spawned upon them, the woman had managed to balance softness with professionality to a perfect degree.
Unfortunately the slytherins no doubt saw the slightly warmer tone she had used when giving Amara points on being the first one to manage the transfiguration but that was fine, if she could establish some connection to one teacher already it was a bonus.
Not that she minded that much but she suspected it was a mix of being her parents daughter and the knowledge of being an orphan with no prior knowledge to anything before.
On a different note, Amara was able to see her peers interacting with their very first challenge of magic, except that obviously some had already done so before but, nonetheless it was good.
Blaise tried the first few times with slow but good progress while doing it lazily. Amara suspected that if he had truly been challenged he'd have sat up straight, instead of basically being thrown in the chair.
Daphne seemed concentrated more on managing her magic to cooperate with her than focus on doing the actual exercise. She was strong, but clearly that was one of the first times holding an actual wand and not the practice one most purebloods used.
Nott (for he has not yet directed many words to her and she suspected he would exercise cautious until otherwise and therefore didn’t consent to being called Theodore) seemed none the wiser to being watched, not only by her but by their teacher, as he was engrossed in his own book that she couldn’t make the title out.
But Tracey, oh, Tracey. Tracey was the second one to manage the transfiguration and seemed content to also study the others. For a few seconds their eyes met each other and Amara..stared at her for moments. The girl stared back.
It hit Amara then that maybe just like how Amara didn't know what to make of her she also didn't.
Maybe they had both grown up. Both picked up the pieces and made what they could without help.
Never had either of them thought they would be seeing each other.
Tracey was the first to look away, she ought to know that Amara would never look away first, not even if it was from Tracey.
Nevertheless, there were others in need of study so she moved on.
Malfoy was pretty much like Daphne, except that he seemed to have more trouble, if only because he got over frustrated by his failure.
The two big boys whom she didn’t care enough to memorise the names of were gripping their wands wrong and saying the wrong pronunciation.
Parkinson was also seen looking into the book confusedly before trying the spell but nothing happened. She seemed frustrated.
Amara chooses to put more fire in the woods by suggesting sweetly.
“Pansy, dear, do you want any help with the material?”
Amara heard Tracey snort and smirked a bit but kept her eyes locked onto Parkinson’s narrowed ones.
“No.” the girl grit her teeth and continued trying the spell to still no success.
Amara sat back with smugness in her eyes and a confused face as she turned towards her own peers.
Daphne had mirth in her eyes and Nott his mouth pinched but lips quirking ever so slightly upwards.
Blaise was outright snickering while Tracey was covering her mouth with her hand but her eyes had a mean light to them.
Satisfied, Amara turned towards the other tables but instead found her gaze pinned by a raised eyebrow.
It seems that once the shock of finding out her student's daughter was not well cared for was over, Minerva Mcgonagall was very sharp indeed.
A half smirk told Amara that she wasn't being punished for pettiness in this class and she allowed herself to smile cheekily towards her.
Herbology with the gryffindors was…something to put it mildly.
At least it was, until Blaise had wanted to sit with Nott and Daphne was already seated with Millicent Bulstrode.
She raised an eyebrow towards the girl who smiled sweetly and pointed at Tracey.
She didn’t know whether to laugh at or kill Daphne and from how Tracey was looking at the girl, she didn't know either.
Shaking her head she looked at the girl. She didn’t smile. Amara had no nice things to give to Tracey anymore.
There was no reason to. Tracey wouldn’t fall for her smiles.
They stared into each other.
Tracey's eyes burning into her soul as if looking at it would say what was wrong with her. Her lips were pinched thin and her eyes narrowed just slightly.
So many things had happened that night, so much blood was spilled.
Someone had died that night.
Tracey sometimes couldn’t be sure if it wasn’t her who died that night or if it was Hayden Amara.
Hayden was gone, the fire that burned bright had been dimmed forever that night. Tracey saw the way her vibrant eyes seemed to dim before glowing ten times stronger, but different.
Where before Hayden had held hope in her chest and…an odd sort of humanity in her eyes it now held a coldness not so different from ice storms. As strong and deadly as.
Only thing that was left from Hayden was Amara, a monster.
But then again, Tracey used to be one too didn't she? But she found herself and found stability once she was away from that terrible orphanage.
She doubted that Amara had been able to do that. But she also did not pity the girl.
It's important to understand that Amara had always been too feral, too predatory for normal people's tastes.
It's important to remember that Amara held no love for Tracey that night nor the other ones. She didn’t plan on killing her last because of an unspoken affection that she might nurture, or maybe because of their history.
Amara and Tracey's history together only truly started that night. When in an act of pettiness, betrayal and anger Amara killed Traceys twin in all but blood in front of her, breaking her heart into pieces so that she would be too heartbroken to continue fighting.
It's important to remember that Amara wanted to kill both of them, and she would have, had Tracey been any less strong.
But Tracey wasn't any less strong, and Amara didn’t count on that.
Surprised, Amara had almost perished but instead, Tracey chose to attack her with Amara's worst weapons, her words and her actions.
That night, Amara may have slept for the first time with a smile on her face, but it was as shallow as Samantha's body now was as she lay on the ground, dead.
Mind made up, she moved her things to leave space for the monster wearing the face of a girl to sit.
Amara looked back at Tracey’s eyes with a barely there smile. It was not soft, it was not good. She didn’t have any good things to offer to Tracey anymore, they had too much bad blood between them for Tracey to accept any forgiveness that Amara might feel about that horribly amazing night.
Tracey had been the one to open her eyes to what she truly was. She just would never know if she liked what she saw or not.
Tracey closed her eyes and exhaled softly. She subtly moved her things and left a space for Amara to sit down.
“Hello students! I am professor Sprout and I'll be teaching you Herbology!”
Tuning the woman down she looked at Tracy who stared back at her with the same intensity.
None of them said anything while they looked at each other. Maybe it was the time that made Tracey even more intriguing, but Amara now saw the little scar she had left on the girl's hairline.
A subtle little thing.
A flaw in the plan.
(Amara wanted both Samantha and Tracy gone.
She hated them. They hated her.
It would be easy.
Tracey had an edge to her, where Samantha didn't appear to have.
Tracey bared her teeth at her when she was pushed. Samantha looked at the ground.
Amara gripped the shovel tighter and waited for the perfect opportunity.
Tracey walked down the forest at night, her hands gripping the fabric of her nightgown tightly.
“Sam?” Tracey's soft voice echoed through the trees as she passed through the same.
Samantha was not going to come.)
No matter now. What was done was done.
The class continued in a peaceful manner, Sprout made several cute comments for all of them, though Longbottom seemed to have the spotlight for this class, the slytherins also received some comments.
Draco got a stern look towards him after he complained loudly about the dirt and the nearby plant (apparently able to sense the boy’s bad mood) had ‘hugged’ him. Meaning he was intertwined to a plant and now his whole school robe was now dirty.
Everyone laughed of course.
At the end of the class, Weasley chose to mess up her good mood.
“Oi Potter!” An unfortunately familiar voice called.
She merely broke eye contact with Tracey and looked at the younger Weasley. She sneered at the boy and saw him freeze.
She looked out of the greenhouse, cursing Daphne for going already and leaving her to deal with Weasley all alone.
Weasley continued undeterred even as she ignored him.
“You think you’re so good don’t you! You traitor!”
And on and on he continued. She ignored him if only for the sake of her fragile patience.
“Wealsey why don’t you suck a bag of dicks you moron” Tracey shot the boy a glare as he seemed to vibrate from rage and embarrassment as they all laughed.
They continued walking to the Great Hall for lunch
“I didn’t need it,” she started slowly.
Tracey stared at her waiting.
Amara stared at the girl who she desperately wanted to apologise to but couldn’t bring herself to. Amara wouldn’t know what she wanted to apologise for, wouldn’t know how to say, or why say it now.
“But thank you.”
Tracey stared at her for what seemed to be an infinite amount of time.
She nodded slowly, still looking at Amara and they separated after that. Amara sat next to her new group, just like Tracey now sat together with Millicent, Moon and Morag.
Amara ignored the pang of sadness in her chest.
“So, have you two talked?” Daphne smiled towards her. Amara looked at her blankly.
Nott snorted.
“So you haven't talked?” was the shocked question coming from Daphne.
Blaise pat her on the back for comfort.
Amara laughed a bit.
“We…well we work differently Daph. I doubt that she wants to talk much about our issues. One day maybe it will come up, but now we just…live in ignorance. Plus we..” Amara stopped and looked at the girl and her new group, as they seemed content to just be.
Amara smiled, knowing Tracey was as strong as ever and managed to pick up her pieces alone.
She looked at her hands.
“Well, I am the one that needs to sort some things out before I could truly say what I mean to say.”
They stared at the girl who looked so much more ethereal than them and at the same time as pathetic as.
Sometimes Amara Potter looked so inhuman that it made it hard to let them breathe the same air as her.
But now she looked just as human as them. Confused, complex and sad.
Theodore smiled, maybe this girl who liked to draw and read just as much as he did just…had a few sharp edges, but she was still human.
“Well Ammy,” Nott said out loud, “ at least you’re on the right path.” The boy stuck his nose high in the air, imitating someone who Amara couldn't know but was still funny all the same.
Amara looked at him shocked for a moment before grinning softly.
A snort came from Blaise and Daphne laughed.