I never trust a narcissist
October 31 1981
Snow was already falling. It was cold in house. Something felt off. It was still, too stil. James moved his back was hurting. Lily probably knew a way to make it less painful the brilliant healer she is. James laughed not quite remembering what happened. He lay on the cold floor and there were no lights on. Strange... Something was off as he slowly tried standing. His face hurt and there was blood on the floor. As long Lily didn't saw it he will be fine. She was gonna be furious especially if Harry came near it. He laughed in himself how funny it would be to prank Lily with Harry. Seeing her getting all mad and how cute she looked when she gave him that I can't be mad at you smile. He was so lucky with her and Harry.
James went upstairs noticing that there wasn't a light on. Where Harry and Lily were asle- the hallway was mess. Harry's stuffed animals were lying on the floor. Heads off, fluff everywhere. James stopped in his tracks. The blood on the floor.... The fucked up mess in the hallway.... The creepy silence.... James could only hope that they'd run! Scared for what he might see, tears already in his eyes. Not his Lily.... Lily who was his whole world, whom he loved for years now and finally had the chance to be together. There was no James Potter without Lily. Not Harry, his son who would always make him smile. Whom he would no anything for.
He turned into the bedroom...
First Lily.. She lay long and peacefull, but was as pale as the moon. A tear streamed down her eye. James knieled down and whipped it of her face. Hands thrilling with horror, anger, helpless and mostly pain. He should be dead. Not his Lily. Her long red hair looked almost as if the colour red was fading away. Her emerald eyes looked in shock and horror. James closed the eyes with thrilling in his eyes. "You fought so well love.... You will always be my love... My first and my last...There will never be a day that I don't think of you... That I don't love you... Cause I promise Lils I always will and- and I will make sure I well do anything to stop him...." He paused thousand of tears crawling down his face. "I love you Lily..." He whispered as if it was the last secret. He stood up not wanting to, but please let Harry be okay. Let Harry live! He saw a little boy, but no movement. He was almost as pale as Lily with the same emerald eyes full of tears. James couldn't think. "My darling b-b-oy... You're to young..." James grabbed him hoping he would let out a laugh like Harry normally did, but no sound not one small sound. He put Harry down not sure what to do now, but cry.
He was there for an hour.. stroking Lily's hand and going through her hair. He finally stood up. There were no tears left in his body. He looked around and instead of feeling sad and helpless the anger takes over. Peter... Peter did this. Peter betrayed them! One of his best and oldest friends betrayed him. He would;ve died for Peter, he would've killed for him and now... Now he betrayed him in the worst way possible. He stroke a hand through his hair feeling the blood cursing through his veins. Something in his mind changed. He closed his eyes trying to think of the happy memoires with Lily and Harry, with the Marauders. He couldn't he tried hard, but every time his mind said the word died, betray, revenge, loss.... He through Harrys little closet around the room breaking the window. Breathing heavily through his nose. "How could you Peter!" Nobody could hear it, but James felt a bit lighter. Fuck! The picture of him, Lily and Harry was on that table. It lay all the ground glass shattered. He picked it up a tear falling on the picture. Lily smiled and laughed watching James and Harry playing. She looked so gorgeous....
He couldn't stand here and do nothing. He had to leave, go somewhere. He packed a bag with stuff leaving Harry and Lily behind after giving them one last kiss. The pain in his heart was nothing he ever imagined. No one could feel it. He grabbed the picture, his wand, his invisibility cloak, his glasses, Harry's favourite stuffed animal, the book Lily was reading, Marauders map (was supposed to be for Harry when he went to Hogwarts), coat, Lily's scarf and a muggle camera. He closed the door walking away not knowing where he could go to, but he needed to think. He needed a plan as Lily always told them for the future and with the war.