Misinterpreted Desire
Edward Elric died, he was sure of it. So why was he back at the gate? Why didn’t he already pass through? The last memory was standing in the middle of an array of some rouge alchemist that he and Al were going after. It went off and he had just enough time to push Al out outside of the array, as the array activated the alchemic energy on his skin he looked down to see he didn’t recognize it. Then he ended up in front of the gate, “Why…?” he looked around erratically but then he saw Truth, “You…” he wanted to be angry but really he was tired.
Too tired to be angry anymore, he’s dead so what would Truth want with him? His shoulders dropped, “Truth why am I here?” Truth’s smile didn’t falter and only widened, “We were waiting for you Mister Alchemist- or should I say researcher?” was Truth trying to irritate him? He sighed and then a different voice came behind him, “Is this them? How unique, Gramercy” Ed turned around to be greeted by a hooded figure right behind him. He reasonably goes for a punch and backs up from the figure.
The hooded figure chuckles, bringing up a skeletal hand to their shadowed mouth, “He’s quite amusing, I am aiming that’s wherefore thee chose him?” Truth giggles in a sickly sort of way that causes goosebumps to run all up his back. Ed then noticed another figure hanging behind the hooded figure, a boy maybe 15 or 14 he wasn’t sure since he didn’t look all that healthy. He might be stunted due to some condition, the boy then notices him, and a look of almost relief washed over the boy who waved slightly trying to be polite but also very awkward.
Ed gave him a nod but then Truth pushed him towards the kid to only look back to see Truth shooing him towards the kid. He walked towards him and he noticed his eyes, they were an unusual hue of green that couldn’t have been natural but the kid looked disheveled and with no other word to really describe it, unclean. The beings behind him talked amongst themselves paying no mind to the two what he could at least tell mortals.
The kid shifted nervously as if waiting for something bad to happen so Ed decided to be the responsible adult and actually be polite and try to shed some light on their situation. “Hey kid, my name is Edward Elric, how about you?” The kid almost violently flinched but kept it to a slight tremble in his body and looked up at Ed who was sort of towering over him which probably would have fed his 15-year-old self’s ego. “… I- I’m Harry James Potter….Sir” the boy waited in expectancy and Ed decided to ignore it completely.
“Cool, well since the “adults'' are talking, want to tell your story?” the boy furrowed his brow as he avoided Ed’s gaze, “I… everything just happened so suddenly-” a clap was heard as they snapped their heads to the two beings facing them. “Well Mister Alchemist I have given you to a charity project!” Ed's face contorted into bewilderment at Truth, “WHAT!?” the hooded figure stepped closer, “For this is the shall o' mine own master, thee now are in mine own hands thank to Truth however thee still belongs to Truth.” Truth’s grin widened which made Ed’s skin crawl.
Had he just been passed out like a bargaining chip? “You are no longer in my domain, Mis-ter Al-che-mist. However to be useful and as a part of our deal you will have your gate back therefore your deal with your brother will not be nullified, and he will continue on” Truth smiled gleefully without a care in the world but Ed was thankful that Truth was not just taking Al’s body just because of some deal between the two beings. Then the kid- Harry spoke up, “D-Death! This is not what I meant! I- I thought I would go back alone!? Why are you dragging some poor bloke into it!?” Ed’s eyes widened.
He was being handed over to death, what the hell did that entail? Was he going to some realm of torment? He never believed in hell but was he really being handed over to death? Wasn’t he supposed to pass through the gate and get over with death? So many more questions filled his head as the being who was supposedly death spoke, “I simply pulled in a favor for mine own master, he wast going to die anyway might as well make use o' him. Besideth he shall be great help an he is one o' Truth’s favored”
The entity seemed uncaring, actually relatively calm as if to usher Harry, “I am your master! I-I just wanted to go back to fix things, not force some poor sap to come with me!” Harry sounded angry but there was an underlying helplessness that seeped through his voice. Harry glanced sorrowfully at Ed who only sighed, at least in his last moments he was helping one person. He was still an alchemist to his people, even if he was somewhere else.
Death huffed with an annoyed tone that made Harry flinch slightly, “I am only fulfilling thy wishes, the man “withal '' not be withal thee an I do this right thee two shall be sharing a body. That is much simpler than making him a whole new body, too much work on mine own part e'en an you are mine own master. Don't worry it shan't hurt either o' thee” Harry seemed nervous and glanced over to Ed who only shrugged. “Well then let's continue, I shall see thee later” Once they said that his mind became muddled as spots of black blinded him.
The last thing he saw was the kid falling to his side, then it went black. The darkness surrounded him as a void-like emptiness swallowed him, he tried to struggle but his limbs were heavy as if he was being drowned even if he could breathe just fine. Then he could open his eyes but something was wrong. He lifted his hand to the ceiling that was too close to his hand, “Where-?” a voice not his own spoke but it was too young. Somehow it was familiar and then someone responded, (Ed?) he knew that voice, it was Harry.
The kid, Harry, was the one who responded to him but he didn’t hear his voice from his ears, he heard his voice in his head. (Ed we’re back in my- the cupboard- bloody hell why…? Why couldn’t he just do it after I got his bedroom…?) Harry mumbled the rest but Ed could hear it, “Wait-” Ed felt a chill of anxiety when his voice was a bit louder and he had a feeling that it was Harry or some sort of connection that caused it. (Harry?) The boy yelped, (Yes…?) he seemed nervous and Ed needed to know what was going on and what he was going to do about it.
(Okay I’m guessing that I’m in your body and I’m in control… at least for right now where are we?) Ed was confused and this cupboard was too cramped to be a child’s room so he was concerned, to say the least. (We’re in the cupboard my aunt and uncle put me in most of my life before I got an acceptance letter to uh… a boarding school up north…) Ed could feel the holes in his story and he did not want to mess anything up he didn’t know about. The worst danger is unknown danger. (I know you are keeping something from me, Harry, I cannot go into this life without knowing what I’m getting myself into.)
Harry was quiet but he could hear a very small sigh, ( I know this will sound crazy but the boarding school I mentioned is a magic school- Merlin that sounds so unbelievable… magic is real and I am sort of famous in the magical world- never mind that… I can show you magic! If you let me, just relax and hopefully, this doesn’t feel too weird for both of us.) Ed was worried when Harry started talking nonsense but he couldn’t really argue until he felt something prod in his head as if nudging his forehead and he felt like he was falling. Then he blinked and he was in a castle that looked old and more like a ghost or a foggy memory, Harry was in front of him, “Okay this is a sort of mind space or in this case a castle, this is the school and I can show you my memories and… if you would like you can share yours!” The kid in front of him looked more healthy and without soot on his clothes and body.
He looked down at himself, he was in some comfy clothes that he wore around the house when he wasn’t off going around the place and so was Harry who was in some uniform, he wondered if the reason he was in that uniform held some significance since his own outfit did. Ed nodded, “Okay let’s see what this magic thing you’re talking about” Harry could tell Ed was not convinced but seemed to understand, “Okay follow me” Harry took him to some library that looked ghostly pale and Harry took out a book and held it for a moment before setting it down, “All you need to do is put your hand on it and it’ll show you” Ed was hesitant and looked for any transmutation circles on it.
Then he placed his hand on it, he only blinked and then he was in an alley full of bright people that had robes and shops lining up the road. Full of kids and laughter buzzing in the air, and what looked to be sticks projecting light and doing unnatural things. Things that should not be possible and he was eager to call it alchemy but there was not a circle in sight and no clapping. Then he looked into the windows of a shop to see things floating and he couldn’t explain it, as abnormal and crazy this was there was no logical explanation. There was an underlying feeling of being watched, not by an enemy but by a child who was peeking over the counter of a secretary's table. At least that’s how it feels to Ed.
He could only sigh in defeat as he followed a small Harry that looked between 9 and 11 years old, and then the memory ended and he was back in the pale library with a 17-year-old Harry who looked at him nervously and searched for something. Ed confessed, “There is nothing that I can prove that it was fake or some scientific anomaly. I guess I should confess that I have something just a tiny bit similar to this, it’s called alchemy and I’ll try to show you… How do I do what you did?” Ed questioned as he ran his hand on the spine of a book.
Harry’s shoulders slumped in relief as if his reaction would be violent when really Ed was confused and anxious to see how it works but for now, he’ll keep his questions to himself. Harry sighs, “Well I kind of thought you would start yelling or something- not that I think you’re bad no I just-! I haven’t had a lot of people I could trust in a while. Okay! Well just think about the setting of your memory and focus on the emotions of it like not raw happiness like getting a car for your birthday but like an accomplishment that was a group and the emotions of comrades and stuff I think… and just take out the book” Harry stumbled over some words but tries to breeze through it like it never happened and demonstrated taking out and book and taking a moment to think.
Ed did the same, he thought of when he was a child with Al and was making a small bird figure when he first showed it to his mom, and then he thought of one of his fights with the homunculus when he was younger. Specifically with Greed when he wasn’t in Ling, he showed his quick thinking and even his weakness but that’s what made him human. He wasn’t some child super soldier he was around Harry’s age though he thinks he was younger than Harry at the time, once he brought the book down he thought he might have fucked up. He thought of two memories and reminisced too much and his thoughts drifted, they both touched the book and then they both blinked.
Harry found himself in a study lined with books and two kids with golden hair and eyes that were similar to Edward’s, he guessed it was his twin brother or something close. He couldn’t hear what the boys were saying but he did watch them draw on the floor with chalk. At first, he was confused but then when the boy put his hands on the circle lightning lit up on his hands as the ground shifted and formed a small bird in the circle when the lighting settled.
The boy huffed in satisfaction as the door opened with a woman who blinked in surprise and bent down to the boys and they talked amongst themselves but then the memory paused and it went somewhere else. Harry was now in what he thought was some basement or windowless room where a young boy who looked around his age could've been Ed and a man with jet-black hair and an odd tattoo on his hand. The boy and the man fought as the man turned into some creature with armored skin and took the fight into a one-sided battle.
However, that only lasted so long until the boy seemed to have a revolution and broke down the man’s defenses. The boy or should he say Ed had a metal arm and then this memory was cut off when the door was going to open and then he was back in the library. He looked up to see Ed awkwardly looking back with a disheartened, “Oops…” which made Harry snort, “It’s fine, I think we know a lot- err enough about each other now…” Ed smiled.
“Yeah, in the future we can share more about each other but for now we’ve shared enough” Harry nodded and thought for a moment, “Hey Ed in the memory I saw your arm… Could I ask what that's about? If you’re comfortable with it obviously you don’t have to-!” Ed held up his hand in front of Harry’s face which shut him up quickly, “It’s fine I did something I regret which cost me my arm and leg, I got my arm back but not my leg” Harry looked a little sad but then another question came to mind that was before the arm thing. Before he could even speak up Ed asked, “Let me guess you have another question?” Harry nodded, “What was that lightning? It looked like magic but it was… weird. Does that make sense? Magic is more based on intentions and emotion, magic comes with a feeling and is based on the power of the wixen- uh magical person… but that felt more… controlled? I don’t know how to explain it…”
Ed was a little surprised at the explanation, he meant to ask about how it worked and that answered some of his questions. “That was alchemy, alchemy is the understanding of the structure of matter, decomposing it, and then reconstructing it. Most need a circle to do alchemy while I can do it without because I saw the gate and faced the consequences.” Harry saw Ed's face hardened when he mentioned the gate and he was curious what that meant but knew better than to pry so he let it go.
He then thought about Ed’s explanation, to be able to do alchemy he had to know chemistry? Did he misunderstand? He hoped not so he hesitantly asked, “So you need to know the periodic table? Like the elements or molecules?” Ed smirked, “Okay at least you're not that ignorant, I don’t know what those- “wizards” put in that brain of yours so I’m going to try and teach you. But to answer your question, yes it's part of the reason I’m able to do alchemy… I wonder”
Ed thought for a moment, Truth said he would gain his gate by coming here. Would he be able to use alchemy without an array since he saw the gate or not because he hadn’t paid the toll with this body, since his soul had paid the toll and this body has not would he be able to use alchemy the same as before? This question troubled Ed’s mind as he thought of using alchemy as everyday alchemists would, but he couldn’t- he would not hurt Harry.
Instead, he could teach Harry so he could do alchemy as well as magic to ensure he has a higher chance of defending himself from all the shit he… they have to go through in the future. “You wonder?” Harry’s voice interrupted his thoughts as Harry looked slightly apologetic look, “Nevermind… well want to-” A bang came from outside but it didn’t feel like it came from the mindscape. It was from the real world, they snapped awake as they felt dust rain down from the small ceiling as they heard someone yelling.
“Now!” a woman’s voice came from the door as she knocked and smacked the door on it repeatedly, “Wake up, wake up cousin! Hahaha!” she violently smacked the door of the closet and walked into the living room. Ed and Harry are scrambling to get in control as Ed takes control because of Harry’s uncontrollable shaking, (Just do as they say and don’t say a word. Please, please I don’t want to relive this .) Ed complied as he pushed the door open and quietly went to the kitchen before hearing a loud huff from the woman. He monotony answered, “Yes aunt.” He held his head down avoiding eye contact as he cooked bacon, he didn’t know why but he felt nervous as if anxiety was clawing at his stomach into a ball that made him a little nauseous. Was he being influenced by Harry’s emotions?
He wanted to comfort the boy but he knew he would become distracted and not pay attention to his surroundings so he stared blankly with a stoic face as he tried to shuffle away. He thought he heard something but he must have been out of it and absent-mindedly wished he was in his own body but that was a selfish thought that caused him to not notice the looming man behind him and grabbed his hand harshly.
“It’s yes sir Uncle Vernon! Don’t ignore me boy!” he winced at the pull and grip on his wrist, he quickly looked down as he said, “Yes, Uncle vernon.” the bland answer somehow triggered the man who yelled, “Don’t you dare sass me boy! Now get on with cleaning the bathroom!” he threw his wrist and sat down. ( The bathroom is on the second floor you’ll see it down the hall to your left,) A helpful whisper passed his ear as he headed upstairs and murmured thanks.
He reached the bathroom which was a small space but comfortable as it can be, he looked up at the mirror to freeze in place. “What the…” it was the same boy he met but smaller maybe around 6 or 7 years old but the thing that caught his attention was his eyes, his eyes that he had before. Eyes that shined brightly like liquid gold, he closed the door behind him as he said. “Harry, you're seeing this right?” (Of course I just… do you think if we switch it will change?) Ed shrugged, “Might as well try” again he felt a push to his mind and felt a feeling of falling backwards.
He then opens his eyes to a sort of space of darkness that has a sort of window that shows exactly where he was when he was in the bathroom. He then noticed that the eyes were back to their original hue of emerald green, “Wow it worked… I can do this, Ed you can rest if you feel like it sorry for bailing on you before…” (Don’t be sorry it's fine you were panicking and I just took over for you, you’re fine I’ll take over when you're done or when we’re alone.) “Yeah that sounds good…” From there, Harry took over the cleaning as Ed wandered around the mindscape and looked around the castle to distract himself from the harsh scrubbing that he could feel from Harry’s actions.
Once he was done Ed decided to see what would happen if they were to share the front seat, their eyes turned into an odd glimmer of green and gold that was kind of pretty. The Dursleys went about their day and smacked them around like it was on schedule, Ed couldn’t go on like this. He was not going to be cooped up in a cupboard that was probably smaller than a chicken coop. When they finished the last of the dishes and wiped the table that had been vacated to head down for the night leaving them to finish it up. And once they walk on shaky legs and chuck themselves on the thin mattress, “I can’t live like this. We are not living like this.”