Careers Meetings and Crime Scenes
It took a few weeks for Haddy to forgive Tom for almost Crucioing his cat, but forgive him he did, which is especially good seeing as Tom, along with Professor Dumbledore, will be conducting the Hufflepuff’s Sixth Year careers meeting.
All the EE’s had already been and gone and Haddy was the final meeting of the day, Tom was hoping the younger boy would buck the trend set by his friends, so far, one professed wanting to become a grave digger, one desired to be a crime scene cleaner and in the most recent meeting tiny little Abigail Clark said she was teetering between a taxidermist or an MMA fighter.
It had been a long 5 hours.
What made it even longer, was having to sit in a windowless room deferring to the judgment and so-called wisdom of Albus Dumbledore who constantly belittled and degraded the dreams and aspirations of Haddy’s EE’s. Yes, their plans may be stupid and ill thought out, but it was never Dumbledore’s place to tell them that… it was Tom’s.
Thankfully, Tom isn’t forced to endure isolation with the professor for long, as without warning the large oak door is flung open to reveal Haddy, mercifully still wearing the navy-blue cloak and formal wear Tom had forced him into during the lunch break.
“Heya Honey, wassup Professor Dumb”
Haddy skips into the room ignoring the palpable tension and taking his seat.
Dumbledore kneaded the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb, “How many times must I tell you Mr. Peverell, please refrain from giving your teachers nicknames, it is not appropriate and more importantly, we do not appreciate it.”
Wide eyed, Haddy turns to Tom, “Is that true Tommy, you don’t like me calling you Honey?”
Dumbledore sighs at the miscommunication but still looks to Tom for support.
Tom entertained telling Haddy the truth and potentially winning some points with the Deputy Headmaster but for the good of his relationship, he once again lied, “Of course not Darling, I love being referred to as a sweet confectionary.”
Tom is fairly certain he hears Dumbledore mutter ‘pathetic’ under his breath but Haddy is beaming at him with his perfect, distracting face so he’s not sure.
Dumbledore clears his throat, “Well then, shall we get started?”
As the aged Professor rearranges some papers on his desk, Haddy pulls out a pair of smart looking spectacles.
Spectacles that Haddy definitely does not have a prescription for.
Noticing that Dumbledore is still busy scrutinising Haddy’s academic records, Tom subtly but frantically hisses at the self-satisfied looking boy, “Take those off right now!”
Haddy pouts at him and whispers back, “Why? I look hot.”
Rolling his eyes so hard they might get stuck at the back of his head, Tom checks that Dumbledore is still distracted before responding, “Of course you look hot Sweetheart, but Dumbledore knows you don’t need glasses and will probably think your mocking him.”
“Ugh, he’s so vain, I’m not mocking him, I’m just tryna play into your sexy librarian fetish.”
Tom flushes red, “I do not have a sexy librarian fe-”
At just that moment, Dumbledore looks back up from the papers doing a minor double take at Haddy’s new fashion choice but ultimately dismisses it as simply another one of Haddy’s quirks, it did however take him slightly longer to get over the fact that he now knew what Tom Riddle looked like blushing.
“Well Mr. Peverell, it seems everything is in order, shall we begin our careers meeting with a review of your recent OWL results?”
Haddy nods enthusiastically and gives the Deputy Headmaster a double thumbs up.
The Deputy Headmaster straightens his glasses and begins looking over Haddy’s OWL results again, “I see you have achieved exceptional grades in all your subjects, O’s and EE’s across the board with the exception of Care of Magical Creatures in which your practical examination attempt was disqualified due to… due to… no that can’t be right?”
Dumbledore frantically riffles through the papers on his desk. Tom clears his throat, “It’s correct Sir.”
Dumbledore looks concernedly up at Haddy for a few awkward moments, then looks down and begins reading directly from the report, “During Mr. Peverell’s practical examination on caring for magical equine beings, he encouraged and facilitated the unnatural mating between a thestral stallion and unicorn mare, of which there have been dire consequences.”
Haddy nods exuberantly whilst Tom massages calming circles into his own forehead.
The silence lingers for a few uncomfortable seconds until Dumbledore takes a deep breath and continues, “I’m almost afraid to ask.”
Tom closes his eyes in defeat, “Please don’t ask.”
Haddy had obviously had enough with being quiet, “The Virgin Detectors!”
“… Excuse me?”
“Nico and Will’s babies (the thestral and unicorn respectively), turns out that they took some of the abilities of each of their parents, instead of only being seen by those who have witnessed death or only feeling comfortable around virgins, the foals can only be seen by virgins. Of course, I’ve never seen them but I’m sure they are super cute.”
Dumbledore stares at his pupil with a gobsmacked expression for almost a minute before gathering his wits, “Whilst that was a truly harrowing insight into your sex life and… sanity, I believe it would be best for everyone if we swiftly move on.”
Haddy looks confused but Tom lets out an audible sigh of relief.
Dumbledore shakes his head and desperately tries to bring some professionality back into this meeting. “With these…mostly respectable results, you can achieve anything you set your mind to, I see you have chosen to pursue your NEWT’s in Transfiguration, Potions, Charms, Divination and Astronomy, with these qualifications you can pursue many careers. Personally, I would like to recommend a few Ministerial positions, particularly, an entry level job in the Department of Mysteries and the Hall of Prophecies. If a Ministry position is not what you want, I have connections with the leading divination magazine ‘The Crystal Eye’ which could offer you an internship during the summer holidays and help get your foot in the journalistic door. So Mr. Peverell, what would you like to do?”
Tom is equally curious, strangely, he and Haddy have never broached this topic before.
Haddy straightens his uniform sending a smug, self-confident smile to Dumbledore as if this whole meeting was inconsequential and that he already had his whole future planned out, which, knowing Haddy, might just be the case.
“I want to be a housewife.”
“…Excuse me?” Dumbledore asks for the second time that meeting.
Haddy smiles again before reiterating, “I want to be a housewife.”
Seeing that both Tom and Dumbledore still have looks of bafflement on their faces, Haddy takes that as an opportunity to elaborate, “Either the wife of the Minister of Magic or the wife of a Dark Lord, or both, that’s the career I want, sometimes when I’m really aiming high I aspire to be a trad-wife TikToker, Nara Smith is my biggest inspiration.”
Tom must need his head examined as he found that sentiment rather touching, Dumbledore however, did not, “You…you…Being a housewife is not a career!”
Haddy looks at Tom and rolls his eyes as if to say, ‘get a load of this guy’ before giving Dumbledore a patronizing grin, “Umm, tell that to the entire cast of Housewives of Beverly Hills.”
It takes another hour and around twenty increasingly desperate please from Dumbledore trying to get Haddy to reconsider his career choice before Dumbledore gives it up as a lost cause. Haddy leaves the meeting with a spring in his step, more assured than ever that being a housewife is his calling, Tom left with a bemused smile and a strangely fluttery heart, knowing that this extremely powerful being could do anything in the universe and all he wants is to be with Tom forever, Dumbledore left the meeting with a grayer beard and at least two new wrinkles.
Tom and Haddy begin walking together towards the Great Hall, pinky fingers interlocked, smiling at each other like love struck fools, which, when Tom is in the mood to be honest with himself, he definitely is.
Tom pulls on Haddy’s arm, turning the boy to face him and leaning down to press a light kiss on the boy’s neck. As Tom reaches up to unbutton Haddy’s shirt, a rusty red-brown stain on Haddy’s neck catches the light. And today was going so well.
Tom’s heavy sigh directly contradicts Haddy’s soft giggling and moaning, “Who was it Sweetheart?”
“Who was who Tommy?” Haddy questions almost convincingly if it wasn’t for those beautiful gemlike eyes shifting around, avoiding Tom’s gaze.
“What did they do?”
Haddy huffs knowing that the jig is up, “Nothing okay, he didn’t do anything.”
Tom maneuvers himself with his back against the wall, pulling his huffy boyfriend along by his hips. Stroking one hand up and down Haddy’s back calmly, Tom uses the other to turn his boy’s pouty face towards him, “Why did you kill him then Sweetheart?” Tom asks with a calming smile.
“I just wanted to send a message to my daddy okay, turns out it doesn’t matter how many iPhones you have, none of them send messages if there aren’t any cell towers around until fifty years in the future.”
“What was so import-”, Tom sighs to himself, “that doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you were safe and didn’t take any unnecessary risks.”
Finally brightening up, Haddy snuggles up under Tom’s chin, exhaling his reply onto Tom’s neck, causing goose bumps to rise on his skin, “Don’t worry Tommy, I followed all your rules.”
The older boy sighs in relief, “That’s good Sweetheart, that’s good. You remembered to erase the spell from your wand history?”
Haddy cuddles in further, closing his eyes contentedly, “Yep, did it first thing.”
Tom relaxes further, enjoying this rare uninterrupted time with his Darling, “And you made sure to chose someone who is both unremarkable and unable to be traced back to us?”
Haddy snorts derisively, “Duh, that was like the first lesson you ever taught me.”
Tom is now fully relaxed, eyes closed and savouring the moment, confident his boy had executed the perfect murder just like Tom had taught him to. Almost sardonically, Tom asks him the final question, “And of course you disposed of the body.”
Haddy freezes.
Tom opens his eyes, staring towards the ceiling but otherwise forces himself to continue the rhythmic stroking of Haddy’s back, “Sweetheart… Tell me you disposed of the body.”
Haddy lifts his head up a sheepish smile etched on his face.
“Professor Riddle! Professor Riddle! You need to come quickly, there’s a… there’s a…”
With a last faltering step, a Third Year Ravenclaw Tom briefly remembers tutoring one time, falls to the ground, expelling his stomach contents all over Tom’s dragon-skin boots.
Tom and Haddy both rush forward to help the poor boy up, through sick stained lips, the boy mumbles, “dead body, there’s a dead body in the DADA classroom!”
At this utterance, Haddy goes wide eyed and drops his hold on the boy.
Tom checks to see that the boy is fully passed out before promptly dropping the dead weight to the floor and turning his piercing gaze towards his sheepish looking boyfriend.
Through gritted teeth, Tom questions, “You forgot to hide a dead body?” Without waiting for Haddy’s response Tom swiftly begins to stride in the direction of the DADA classroom. He still didn’t let go of Haddy’s hand though.
Haddy gasps in affront, “Well I’m sorry Mr. Never-Loses-Dead-Bodies, but I can be a little forgetful sometimes, it’s a symptom of my dyslexia!”
As Tom and Haddy make their way quickly towards the terrified screaming, the younger boy mutters under his breath, “What a fudging buzzkill, rules take all the joy and passion out of murder, daddy would have never stifled my creative expression like this.”
Haddy pouts up at Tom and if this was any other time Tom would kiss the pout off his boyfriend’s face but right now, he is just a tiny bit busy ensuring said boyfriend didn’t receive a homicide charge.
By the time they finally reach the classroom, the hallway had already become over run by students and faculty alike, despite this, no one had dared go through the classroom doors, as if just by going through the doorway would cause them to drop dead just like the poor new DADA professor Haddy had chosen as his victim.
Quickly before anyone else could intervene, Tom kneels down next to the body, checking that Haddy told the truth, and didn’t forget to get rid of any other evidence. Apart from a strange piece of parchment pinned to the Professor’s chest, Haddy had done well, Tom tried to smother his proud smile, no one should grin at a crime scene.
Knowing that it was too late to dispose of the evidence and that his precious boyfriend would never be able to hold up under Auror interrogation, Tom rapidly began constructing a believable hypothesis.
“A curse!” He bellows, making the surrounding students jump in fright.
“A curse”, he elaborates, “on the Defence Against the Dark Arts positions, and a warning to the children!” The surrounding students began whispering and clutching at each other in fear.
“My dear boy, how do you know this?” A mildly suspicious Albus Dumbledore questions as he fights his way through the crowded hallway to get to the crime scene.
“Well professor”, Tom casually responds, “because of that.”
All heads turn towards where Tom is pointing, to the piece of paper pinned into the dead Professor’s chest using a rusty nail. On the paper, drawn in red, is two boxes, under the first box, it simply said ‘Denny’s’, below the second, was an image of a red-headed, freckled girl labelled ‘Wendy’s’. The second box was filled with a massive black X. Seeing this little Second Year Denise Prewitt and older Gryffindor Wendolyn Weasley both turn a shocking shade of white and promptly collapse to the floor.
Panic ensues.
Madam Pomfrey is frantically unstopping calming droughts and practically throwing them at terrified students. Dumbledore takes out his wand and rapidly casts spells on the corpse. The students alternate between screaming in fear and trying to get a closer look at the deceased Professor. During all the commotion, Tom retakes Haddy’s hand and quickly but calmly leads his boy away from his victim.
Once they were far enough away, Haddy pulls Tom to a stop, spinning him around and kissing him passionately, stroking his dainty hands up and down Tom’s defined abs.
“Mhmm Tommy, you’re so sexy when you stage a crime scene.” Haddy bites lightly at his boyfriend’s earlobe.
Before they can get carried away however, Tom has a very important question, “Will you really kill Wendolyn Weasley?”
Haddy pulls back from their embrace, looking up at Tom and trying to get the blood to go back to his upper head instead of his lower one. A few seconds later, Haddy bursts out into laughter, “Honey, I’m not gonna kill Wendolyn!”
Tom looks at him with suspicion, “You’re…not?”
“No Tommy, those were restaurant names, complete coincidence that they also happen to be students’ names.”
Haddy uses his thumbs to rub circles into Tom’s hips, Tom sighs in relief before a thought occurred to him, “Really Haddy what restaurant query could possibly be so important that you had to kill a Professor for it?”
“Well Tom, I needed help deciding on a place to go,” Haddy locks his fingers behind Tom’s neck, leaning his body into Tom’s and smiling up at him shyly, “how would you like to meet my daddy?”