Prefects, TayTay and Assless Chaps
Tom had done it; he’d finally escaped Wool’s Orphanage. At seventeen years old, he is now permitted to enter the work force, so before he had even left Hogwarts for the Summer, he secured a job at Borgin and Burkes, a job that conveniently came with live-in accommodation. Before the Summer holidays, he was also made aware of his impending promotion to Head Boy, a position he had been pursuing for the better part of seven years, all in all, these holidays were shaping up to be the best yet.
As part of Tom’s duties, he needs to meet with all the Heads of Houses before the start of the next school year, in order for them to jointly decide who will be the Fifth, Sixth and Seventh Year Prefects. It was during his meeting with Professor Sprout that he realised something so horrifying he might have let out a whimper.
At the Professors concerned look, Tom audibly gulped before asking, “Would I be correct in assuming Haddy will be the Hufflepuff, male, Fifth Year Prefect?”
The Professor smiles in confusion, “Why of course Tom! Isn’t it marvellous, this way you and that sweet boy can spend more time together before you leave Hogwarts at the end of the year, the poor dear really misses you when you’re busy with your Prefect duties, I hate to think how he’ll be when your gone.”
Now, Tom knows he’s Professor Sprout’s favourite student, thanks to all the Tuesdays spent tutoring almost the whole of Hufflepuff House, and the subsequent dramatic increase in the number of students achieving O’s and EE’s in their tests. But Tom also knows that he would never be able to compete with the near infantilising love she holds for Haddy, in her eyes, Tom’s boy is a walking talking baby marshmallow, that needs coddling and protecting always (Tom doesn’t disagree with her on that).
Unfortunately, that means Tom’s boy will definitely be a Prefect next year. It’s not that Tom doesn’t want to spend more time with Haddy, of course he does, it’s just that Haddy can get a bit… strange around children (even stranger than usual), he doesn’t hurt them or anything, he can just be a bit intense. And he definitely shouldn’t ever, under any circumstance, be placed in any position where he is in charge of a child’s welfare, Tom has worked too hard at keeping Haddy out of Azkaban to fail at this final hurdle.
Oh well, the deed is done, Haddy will be a Prefect. God help us all.
When Haddy gets the letter proclaiming him to be next year’s Prefect, he is beyond ecstatic, manic might be a more appropriate word and the Howler he sends to Tom proves it.
“I GOT IT TOMMY, I’M A PREFECT, I TOLD YOU BAKING PROFESSOR SPROUT THAT VICTORIA SPONGE WAS A GOOD IDEA-”
Tom excuses himself from where he had been ringing up a set of House Elf knuckle bones for a particularly decrepit looking Hag. When the Howler was delivered to his desk and immediately started its high decibel message, the Hag had huffed and motioned for Tom to go listen to the letter somewhere away from her.
Whilst Tom is hurrying away from the shop floor, the message continues, “-I’M SO GLAD SHE RECOGNISED HOW HARD I’VE TRIED AT NOT MAIMING ANYONE FOR THE PAST COUPLE MONTHS, I NEVER EVEN THREATEN TIBERIUS WHEN HE DIDN’T NOTICE ABBY’S HAIR CUT! -”
Tom didn’t have the heart to tell Haddy that him being a Prefect was never in doubt, seeing as he’s the only Hufflepuff boy in his year group, the position literally couldn’t have gone to anyone else.
“-THERE’S GONNA BE SO MANY CUTE BABY PUFFS THAT I’M NOW ALLOWED TO CUDDLE WHENEVER I WANT-”
Incorrect.
“-I’M GONNA PINCH ALL THEIR LITTLE CHEEKS-”
That is assault.
“-AND NOBODY IS GONNA STOP ME! -”
Except for the Aurors.
“-I CAN’T WAIT FOR US TO SPEND EVEN MORE TIME TOGETHER, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOMMY! -”
Tom’s heart stutters, maybe he’ll hold of the Aurors long enough for his adorable boy to escape.
“-SEE YOU ON THE TRAIN TOMMY, DON’T LET ORION STEAL MY SEAT!”
Merlin help him, Tom can’t help but feel reluctantly charmed by his lovely boy.
Tom did save Haddy a space on the train, Haddy thanked him for his thoughtfulness by spending the majority of the trip out of his seat, instead using Tom’s lap as his seat and Tom’s shoulder as his cushion, when they weren’t kissing each other senseless that is.
Haddy left their compartment a few minutes before the train arrived at Hogsmeade Station, telling Tom he was going to meet up with the EE’s and that he’ll see him at the Welcoming Feast. When Tom and the Knights arrive to the Great Hall, Haddy is nowhere to be seen, the Slytherin is not worried though, Haddy will show up when he’s ready and not a second sooner, it is simultaneously one of his cutest and most vexing character traits.
By the end of the Feast, Haddy and the rest of the EE’s still haven’t arrived, Tom was resigning himself to the possibility he might have to spend his first night traipsing through Hogwarts searching for his elusive boyfriend, when he heard the Great Hall doors slam open and an unknown, upbeat song begin to play.
Found him.
Tom along with the rest of the hall turn to face the double doors and are met with the sight of Haddy, Paddy, Abby and Maddy, all dressed in pink, bedazzled, cowboy outfits. Each of them were smiling widely, left hips cocked and hands on their waists, bouncing their legs in sync with the beat. Additionally, they had each somehow tanned ten shades darker than when Tom saw them mere hours ago.
“Howdy y’all”, a familiar deadpan voice broadcasts through the hall via Sonorus. Looking for the source of the noise, Tom turns from Haddy’s bopping form and towards the corner of the Great Hall where Tom can see a scowling Mulciber reading from a sheet of parchment, obviously against her will if the venomous glare she shoots Haddy is any indication.
“Here to welcome you to our illustrious school, The EE’s, Haddy, Paddy, Abby and Maddy, performing ‘You Belong With Me’ by Taylor Swift”, Mulciber lets out a heavy sigh before sarcastically saying, “Enjoy the show”, and ending the charm.
As soon as Mulciber stops speaking, the song really begins, and so does the longest three minutes of Tom’s life so far.
-You’re on the phone with your girlfriend she’s upset-
Each of the EE’s pick a House table to get on and start their obviously well-rehearsed dance. Haddy of course is on top of the Slytherin table.
-She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts-
Tom finally fully takes in what Haddy is wearing, or rather, not wearing. His shameless boy had decided to wear chaps, ass-less chaps, the only thing preventing Haddy from catching an indecent exposure charge being a flimsy strip of red silk that did nothing to hide his boys delectable, voluptuous curves.
-If you could see that I’m the one who understands you-
Haddy executes a flawless, handles cartwheel and for the first time, Tom breaks out of his lust filled haze to realise other students had been similarly affected by Haddy’s unintentionally erotic display. Tom sends a short but powerful Crucio in Cygnus’ direction when he notices the boy’s glazed eyes firmly fixed on Tom’s boys’ ‘assets’, drool escaping the corner of his mouth. Unfortunately, Cygnus isn’t the only offender, it seems like Tom will be punishing most male and some female members of House Slytherin tonight.
-She wears high heels, I wear sneakers-
Haddy breaks his routine to lean down into Tom’s space, giving him a swift but intense kiss before going back to dancing. Tom’s lips tingle at the unexpected pressure. All of a sudden, it occurs to him to question why the Professors had let this… performance, continue for so long.
-Been here all along, So why cant you see? You belong with me-
Tom looks towards the teachers table to find numerous teachers, including Slughorn looking confused but also transfixed by the baffling sight in front of them. Dippet and Dumbledore were bound and gagged, struggling wildly in their chair’s, fury etched into their features, the perpetrator of the bondage being Pomona Sprout who was dancing along, holding a hastily created poster that professed ‘We Love You EE’s’.
-Have you ever thought that maybe, you belong with me-
As the song gradually ends, Haddy makes his way back to Tom, who holds out a hand to help him of the table. After ten seconds of stunned silence, Tom twitches his eyebrow at Corvus, the boy gets the message and starts clapping frantically. That opens the floodgates and soon the Hall is overcome with roaring applause and deafening cheers. After Haddy catches his breath, he pulls his wand out of somewhere, presses the tip to his throat and casts a Sonorus.
“Heya everyone, you’ve been a great audience, we just wanted to welcome all the new students to our school, and I can’t wait to squeeze you all!”
Tom swiftly turns Haddy’s wand to his own throat, “Meet, he means meet.”
“-Yeah meet, that’s what I said, I can’t wait to meet you all!”
Haddy ends the Sonorus and after a final round of applause, he turns towards Tom with a beaming smile, “Did you see me Tommy, I lip-synced the shit out of that song, better than Mariah Carey at the… well ever!”
“You were brilliant Sweetheart”, Tom reassures, “I didn’t know you could dance like that?”
“Tommy, I have been competing in pageants since I was a toddler, of course I would fucking rock an old school Taylor song!” Haddy laughs, carefree and jubilant, pressing another sweet kiss to the tip of Tom’s nose.
Haddy finally pulls Tom to his feet and begins dragging him towards the rowdy Hufflepuff table. As they were walking, Tom places his hand over the gap in the chaps, ensuring nobody else can be blessed with the sight of Haddy’s awe inspiring behind. Tom is briefly concerned that the curse Death placed on his sons underwear would be triggered if he did touched the fabric, that concern didn’t last long when he realised that Death, the overprotective father that he is, would never have allowed Haddy out of the house if he knew his sweet baby boy wears lacy, red, barely-there panties. Tom could touch all he wants.
So he did, and whilst Tom was distracted, getting a sneaky feel of the ass that had plagued his dreams for years, Haddy kept talking, pointing at the First Year Hufflepuffs scattered around the table.
“Agh, Tom look at that little fun-sized one, it’s so cute!”
Tom briefly looks to where Haddy was gesturing before going back to scanning the crowd and making a list of all the perverts that were ogling his boy’s ass.
“Haddy, he’s an inch taller than you.” Tom looks again at the surrounding First Years, “In fact, they’re pretty much all taller than you.”
Haddy either doesn’t hear him, or is actively ignoring that comment, his boy had gotten rather fragile about his height, or lack there off, in recent years, Tom can’t help but enjoy the size difference between them though, Haddy fits perfectly under Tom’s arm and the older boy rather selfishly doesn’t want that to change.
Haddy and Tom reach the First Year section of the Hufflepuff table, “HEYA BABY BADGERS, AGH YOU’RE ALL SO TINY, I WANT TO CUDDLE YOU TO DEATH!” The exuberant shout caused everyone in the vicinity to startle, apart from Tom, Tom was hypnotised by the booty jiggling in his hand, he was booty-tised, he’d been struck dumb by the cheeks.
Haddy proceeds with introductions, his rather aggressive brand of affection causing some of the First Years to cower in fear, not that Haddy noticed, or Tom for that matter.
A few more minutes of Haddy terrifying the newbies and Tom telling himself ‘just one more fondle’, go past, until Haddy finally finishes the conversation. Tom only knows this happens because the cheeks are travelling away from his hands and he has to race to catch them again. Yet still, Haddy never stops is commentary on how cute he finds the new kids.
“Aww look Tommy, a fluffy one”, the ‘fluffy one in question was a young girl with gravity defying, frizzy hair, who looked to be pleading with an older Hufflepuff to hide her from Haddy’s gaze.
“Tom, I want one.”
Tom wanted to clap cheeks, but I guess we can’t always get what we want.
“I’m serious, you should get me one.”
Tom should get his face between those thick thighs.
“Haha, that was so Veruca Salt coded.” Haddy seemingly now in conversation with himself, puts on a high voice and a posh London accent, “Daddy, buy me North Korea.”
Tom snaps out of his ass induced hypnosis (ass-nosis) and stares at Haddy with wide eyes and faintly red cheeks, “What did you just call me?!”
Haddy turns towards the Slytherin with a confused expression, “Are you okay Tommy, you look a little flushed?”
Tom stammers before quickly saying, “Nothing Sweetheart, I was just worried your legs might get cold in this outfit.”
As if finally realising that Tom had been fondling his ass for the past half hour, Haddy looks down at the offending hand then back up to his boyfriends eyes, furrowing his eyebrows, “If you were worried I would get cold, why wouldn’t you just transfigure me a robe, or give me yours?”
Tom stammers again, reluctant to admit that he had just wanted to cop a feel, “Well, uh, I heard that you lose fifty percent of your body heat through your glutes, so I was just giving you some of mine, you know I have warm hands. I just didn’t want you to catch a cold is all!”
“… I thought you mainly lost heat through your hea-”
“Nope it was arse, definitely arse!”
Haddy shrugs noncommittally before continuing his walk towards the doors to the Great Hall, not complaining once about the large hand still cupping his bouncing behind.