Oops
It took less than half a year for Tom to regret ever introducing Haddy to the basilisk. That’s a lie, it actually took less than a day for Tom to wish he had never taken Haddy into that Chamber, especially when he realised that despite his Slytherin ancestry, Haddy was the beasts favourite Parseltongue, it seemed to have imprinted on Tom’s boy like a baby duck and refuses to even listen to Tom unless the Hufflepuff is there to back him up. The Third Year is so favoured in fact, that the day after introducing the two, Tom went down to the Chamber to find the one-thousand-year-old serpent balancing a giant inflatable ball on its head whilst a top-hat wearing Haddy bowed towards an imaginary crowd. Tom expected something like that to happen, this however, Tom could never have expected this.
It was the Easter Half-Term, or, as the Purebloods call it, Beltane, and Tom was the only member of his house left at Hogwarts. Fortunately (for Tom’s happiness) and unfortunately (for Tom’s sanity) Haddy had decided to spend the holidays with him, a decision that would have grave consequences.
“Tommyyy”, whatever is poking his cheek better stop before Tom resorts to violence
“Psst Tommy!” Ugh, it’s the holidays, what does a Dark Lord have to do to get a lie in once in a while?
“Tommy, you only got an Exceeds Expectations on your Potions test.” Tom sat bolt upright in bed, eyes wide in horror and heart beating erratically.
Glancing at the pocket watch on his bedside table and seeing that it was barely two o’clock in the morning, Tom turns to glare accusingly at Haddy who had obviously snuck in through the Common Room and was currently fidgeting and giving the Fifth Year a guilty expression. The Slytherin was quickly distracted from his anger and slight panicked by the sight of Haddy in a short, soft yellow, frilly nighty. Now his breath became laboured for a completely different reason. Tom doesn’t know how he missed it, but the few years since Haddy used to arrive to breakfast in his pyjamas, his childish cuteness had transformed into teenage temptation. His previously thin frame had filled out, but in a way more reminiscent of female puberty rather than male, Haddy’s sheer nighty hid next to nothing, including his thin waist, wide hips and thick thighs. Tom would almost think he was still dreaming, if it wasn’t for the thick, green, sludgy facemask hiding Haddy’s beautiful features.
“Toooom…” Haddy starts nervously, “I made an oopsie.”
The barley awake Slytherin vigorously rubs his face, chastising himself for having his head in the gutter and trying to gather the energy to get out of bed and fix this mysterious ‘oopsie’. First things first though, Tom goes to his wardrobe, takes out his dressing gown and flings it over Haddy’s head without looking in the boy’s direction, there is way too much skin on display for Tom to be able to think rationally. Tom waits with his eyes closed for the boy to finish tying the knot on his dressing gown before taking a deep breath, opening his eyes, scrutinising the shamefaced Hufflepuff and enunciating one single word.
“Explain.”
With a trembling lower lip, Haddy reaches for Tom’s hand before speed walking out of the dorm, then the common room and through the deserted corridors. During this rapid walk through Hogwarts, where Haddy enticed Tom into a half-jog by yanking him by the by the hand, the Hufflepuff did not stop rambling, Tom understanding just enough to willingly hasten his step.
“…but her skin was so dry, I just wanted to let her out so she could go in the Great Lake and why would a Ravenclaw be in the bathroom at this time?”
“…I tried buying her a humidifier of Amazon, but Daddy cancelled my account, apparently buying 7 hot-tubs online is three too many!”
“…I called Daddy as soon as it happened, cause, yanno, disposing of bodies is like, our favourite bonding activity but he said he won’t be able to get here for at least another hour, he’s really busy at work, apparently 1950 Korea is popping off.”
Predictably, the direction Haddy was leading them to was the Second Floor Girls Lavatory, Tom pulling slightly ahead of the Hufflepuff in his haste to see what absolute disaster his boy has created this time.
This disaster being Myrtle Warren’s dead body.
The Ravenclaw had obviously died whilst exiting the cubicle, the culprit, a sixty-foot basilisk curling in on itself and hissing apologetically.
Disaster Number Two being Myrtle Warren’s ghost, who even in death seems to still be suffering the effects of the Orion Black’s Imperio, ‘huh that’s something to research further on’. The ghost had flung itself over its cooling corpse and was sobbing so hard Tom would be worried the girl wasn’t breathing, if she still had a pulse that is.
Whilst Tom contemplated what the living conditions in Azkaban will be like for a handsome boy like him, Haddy had arrived in the bathroom and had started to comfort the distraught ghost. Sat next to the translucent being and attempting to stroke the inanimate back without sending his hand straight through, Haddy began mumbling reassurances to the girl.
“I know this doesn’t seem like a great thing right now but just think about it no more exams, no more Olive Hornby, and now you get to live long enough to listen to Tik Tok by Kesha… umm well, not live exactly.”
Myrtle starts wailing anew.
“And! And, there’s a World War happening right now, just imagine all the young, lonely souls cut down in their prime, if you promise not to tell anyone about our involvement in this little accident I’ll even find you a handsome one to share a toilet stall with.”
The girl continues to weep. Recognising that his tactics are not working, Haddy shares a panicked look with Tom before searching franticly around for a different method of persuasion, his gaze fixes desperately on the desolate looking basilisk.
“Look, look at this cute baby, just think what the intolerant Ministry will do to this beauty if what just happened gets out, she’ll be killed for sure, her carcass will be chopped up and her parts will be sold to the highest bidder.”
The basilisk makes a hissing sobbing sound and Myrtle whimpers in fear as Haddy leads her towards the cowering beast, Tom’s slightly confused how Haddy can make a ghost do anything but he’s more concerned with the way Haddy had placed the incorporeal hand onto the basilisks nose, the girls eyes widening in wonder as it ineffectually strokes the serpents face. Haddy obviously seeing that this tactic is working starts bombarding the entranced girl with basilisk facts and simple phrases in Parseltongue she can use to get the snakes attention.
“…Plus, she’s not even been named yet, I was saving it for a special occasion but for the small price of not telling anyone who or what killed you, I’ll let you name her!”
The ghost finally looks away from the now docile beast, still brushing her hand along the basilisk’s neck, hearts in her eyes she replies, “A creature that kills its victims with one look…”
Looking back towards the snake and placing her forehead against the animals, she whispers, “her name is Medusa.”
Haddy turns away, cringing slightly and mumbling quiet enough the besotted spirit doesn’t hear him, “ugh that is so cliché.”
As this ‘emotional’ scene is taking place, Tom starts fixing the crime scene. Taking out his wand he starts blasting apart the sinks causing water to spurt out and flood the bathroom, he shatters the mirrors and slashes the tiles, trying to allude to there being a struggle. Turning to the body, Tom transfigures a quill into a fang and starts mercilessly stabbing the fifteen-year-olds body, droplets of blood and pieces of organs flying everywhere. Standing up and vanishing any blood of his clothes, Tom smiles in satisfaction before turning to face Haddy and the girl whose body he’s just impaled over twenty times. Predictably, the Ravenclaw looks horrified and even for a ghost is concerningly pale, Haddy however, well, Tom has never seen that expression on his boy’s face before, his eyes are glassy, pupils dilated, cheeks flushed and as he looks from Tom’s face to the bloody fang, he licks his lips.
“You punctured my body twenty times and still didn’t manage to puncture my forehead zit, ugh I swear Riddle, if you don’t give me a post-mortem makeover Aphrodite would be jealous of, I’m going to haunt every toilet bowl your gorgeous arse touches for the rest of your life!”
Half an hour later and multiple dead body makeover tips from Haddy and the ghost, Tom was satisfied that no one except Newt Scamander would be able to tell that Myrtle Warren had been killed by a basilisk. Informing the gossiping duo that he was finished, Tom witnessed the two share an emotional embrace (Tom will definitely need to ask Haddy how he is able to hug a ghost), Haddy then ushering the now smiling Ravenclaw and the newly dubbed ‘Medusa’ back into the Chamber.
Tom gives a self-satisfied sigh at the expertly fixed crime scene before reaching for his boy’s hand and leading them out of the now haunted bathroom. Haddy tugs them to a stop just outside of the lavatory, turning towards Tom with an apologetic expression on his face, self consciously biting his thumb.
“What now Tommy? Hey, if you need a scapegoat, I volunteer Tiberius, he broke up with Abby for the third time in as many months and I think everyone will be better off if he’s expelled or executed, I’d be happy with either.”
Tom lifts his hand and strokes Haddy’s cheek smiling at him in a patient, if exasperated manner.
“Now nothing Haddy”
“but-”
“No buts, go back to your common room, go to bed and by morning everything will be fixed, do not worry, I have a plan, one that does not involve a Third Year that despite their penchant for violence, has an unfortunate inability to lie.”
Haddy winces at the almost reprimand before diving forward to give Tom a crushing hug, muttering into Tom’s sternum, “be safe”, he then begins speed walking towards the Hufflepuff common room, shoulders tense and arms crossed as if he needed to physically stop himself from going back towards Tom.
Tom takes a deep breath, giving himself a minute to finish formulating the plan he had put in motion by stabbing Myrtle’s dead body. Opening his eyes and releasing the breath, Tom begins walking in the direction of the dungeons. When he had polyjuiced himself into a non-descript traveller less than a year ago and gave an Acromantula egg to a First Year, he didn’t expect to be putting his plan into motion this soon but needs must.
Less than ten steps to his destination, Tom ruffles his hair and makes his perpetually immaculate clothes dishevelled, twisting his face into a practised expression of worry and fear, he hurries his gait and breathes heavily.
“Sir? Sir!”
Tom franticly knocks on Professor Slughorn’s door before quickly using the emergencies only password that lets prefects into the Teachers Dorms and Oh Merlin what a mistake that would turn out to be.
“T-Tom my boy, uh-um what brings you here so early?”
The now traumatised Fifth Year almost completely forgets about his plan at the sight of his Head of House and Professor Dumbledore hurriedly separating from where they had obviously been, ‘canoodling’ on the Potion Professor’s sofa, hurridly pulling on their shirts and covertly trying to cover bruised necks. Dumbledore sends Tom a death glare over Slughorn’s shoulder and that is what wakes Tom up from his sickened stupor.
“Sir I wouldn’t be bothering you at such an… inconvenient time if it wasn’t an emergency, the Fourth Year, Myrtle Warren, somethings happened Sir, in the Second Floor Girl’s Lavatory, something terrible-”
Before Tom can even finish the script he rehearsed in his head on the way here, Dumbledore had stalked past him with a scowl, breaking out into a run despite his left shoe still decorating Slughorn’s floor. The two Slytherins share an anxious look before they both begin following the Transfiguration Professor at a swift pace.
The two of them reach the bathroom less than ten seconds after Dumbledore, out of breath from running to and from the girls lavatory twice (Tom) and out of breath from a fondness of candied pineapple that has started to effect his waistline (Slughorn), Dumbledore’s hurried spellcasting could hardly be heard over the duo’s panting.
After ascertaining that nothing could be done to heal the Ravenclaw, the Transfiguration Professor stands, surreptitiously wiping a tear from his cheek and turns to send a vicious glower at the Fifth Year.
“Where is your wand boy? Give me your wand!” Dumbledore stalks threateningly towards Tom who had quickly affixed an innocent expression on his face in response to his teacher’s furious accusation.
“Now now Albus, Tom had nothing to do with this tragedy, why would he lead us to the body if he did.”
Dumbledore stares unnervingly into Toms eyes, “Why indeed? If he’s so innocent I’m sure he will be willing to hand over his wand for inspection.”
“Albus are you sure that’s necess-”, Dumbledore turns towards Slughorn softening his posture, sticking his bottom lip out and fluttering his eyelashes, now that is an image Tom will have to think of when Haddy is being too tempting for his own good.
Slughorn blushes and acquiesces, “Ahm, well, I’m sure one little check won’t cause any harm, right Tom?”
“You depraved ginger hussy” Tom hisses under his breath, louder he replies, “Of course Sir”, Tom smiles charmingly at the Transfiguration Professor, “I have nothing to hide.”
Tom hands over his wand to the suspicious Professor and thanks Merlin that there hasn’t been a Knight’s session recently, all the Prior Incantato will show is a Transfiguration spell, a couple mild cutting hexes that when not overpowered like Tom’s had been, are normally a spell used in the kitchen, and countless beauty charms that although garner him a raised eyebrow from each of his teachers, do not incriminate him whatsoever. Dumbledore reluctantly hands Tom’s wand back to him, seemingly upset he is unable to accuse Tom of the murder. The Professor begins to usher the two Slytherins out of the bathroom before closing and locking the door and this is when Tom chooses to enact the next part of his plan.
“Actually Professor, I do remember seeing something strange as I happened upon the scene, but I don’t quite understand it Sir, it seemed to be an adolescent Acromantula but I thought those creatures weren’t native to Great Britain and the only Acromantula I know of belongs to Rubeus Hagrid and he wouldn’t let a dangerous creature wander round the halls freely…Would he?”
“RUBEUS HAGRID HAS AN ACROMANTULA?” Slughorn seems almost apoplectic with stunned rage whilst Dumbledore staggered into the wall, covering his eyes in despair.
“Why, yes, of course Sir, he told me received a special dispensation from the teachers to look after the beast”, those words have never come out of the half-breed’s mouth, but Tom feigned a distressed and betrayed expression all the same.
Composing himself, Dumbledore retrieves his wand, casting a Patronus and sending it off with a message for Hagrid, telling him to meet the Professor at the entrance to the Headmaster’s Quarters. When the trio arrive there, Tom adamant he stays with them so as to help the investigation to the best of his abilities receiving a hearty slap on the back and compliments towards his ‘selflessness’ from his Head of House, a confused looking half-giant is waiting for them, still clad in his too-small pyjamas, the oversized rucksack he perpetually has on his person placed on the ground next to him.
Dumbledore goes over to the boy and begins hurriedly yet compassionately explaining what has just occurred and why he has been called to the Headmaster’s office. Tom stays to the rear of the group as they all begin the ascent, barely listening to the weepy conversation happening in front of him, it was all too predictable and frankly rather dull.
‘blah, blah, blah, he didn’t mean nothin’ by it’
‘blah, blah, blah, Rubeus the creature has killed a student!’
‘blah, blah, blah, she was a pretty useless student to begin with’ (okay that was one of Tom’s thoughts that snuck in), really this was a dreadfully boring meeting for a murder inquiry, Tom thought there would be more suspense, more intrigue, less sniffling and ‘following of official procedure’, ugh how dull.
By this point, Headmaster Dippet had joined the conversation and was quite diligently interrogating the giant whilst simultaneously delegating tasks towards the two Professors, who begin sending out Patronus’ to the other members of faculty. Tom focuses back in on the conversation when he hears Dippet announce that the Second Year will be expelled and the Acromantula will be sent to live in the Forbidden Forrest. No, he’s not getting of that easily.
“Headmaster, I hate to intrude and I normally wouldn’t dare to question your commands, but the beast already has a taste for human flesh, who’s to say that if you let it live in the Forbidden Forest, it won’t come back in a few years when it is fully grown, you would have a massacre on your hands.”
Dippet folds his hands under his chin, nodding his head in contemplation, “Quite right my boy, we cannot let a creature this dangerous pose a risk to Hogwarts’ security, it has already killed one child on my watch, I will not let it kill another, the beast will be executed.”
Hagrid lets out a mournful cry before opening his rucksack and screaming, “RUN ARAGOG, RUN!”
A spider the size of a small dog leaps out of the bag, scuttling across the room and towards the wide open door, using the half-second the teachers and Tom had been shocked by the beasts appearance to make it less than a meter from the door, directly next to Tom. The Fifth Year Slytherin takes his chance. A muffled thudding sound accompanied by an audible squelch breaks the stunned silence. Tom lifts his foot, the one he had just thrust straight through the Acromantula, he quizzically observes the viscous green goop which was now clinging to his pant leg, before looking the half-giant straight in the eyes allowing a sinister smirk to cross his face for a millisecond.
“oops”
It takes mere seconds for the Gryffindor to put the pieces together and remember that fateful day in his First Year where the furious Fourth Year Slytherin had promised vengeance on behalf of a crying Hufflepuff, he should have taken that threat more seriously. Eyes widening in shock and terror, the half-breed raises his hand and franticly begins to point at Tom like a mad man, ranting and raving to the teachers about, Hufflepuffs, snails, and revenge.
“Let me see if I have this right my boy, Tom Riddle, top of his class, Slytherin Prefect, Hufflepuff tutor Tom Riddle, kills a fellow class mate in cold blood, risking Azkaban and the Dementors Kiss, all to frame you, because you what… stepped on some slug eggs?” Dippet sceptically asks.
“SNAIL EGGS, THEY WERE SNAIL EGGS I TELL YOU!”
Even Dumbledore cannot hope to defend this behaviour and thus is forced to stun the violently gesticulating boy who had begun to stride menacingly towards Tom. The Transfiguration Professor sorrowfully informs the room that he will be sending Hagrid back to his father before breakfast, turning and exiting the office, the three-hundred-pound half-giant floating unconsciously behind him.
Tom manages to smother his smile of duping delight for as longs as it takes the Professors to dismiss him, but before he can even get half a corridor away, his face is splitting into a joyous, self-satisfied grin and he is barely able to prevent the laugh bubbling in his chest to escape. Oh, he can hardly wait for Haddy’s reaction tomorrow.
Tom greets his anxious and guilty looking boy at the entrance to the Great Hall the next morning, word had already spread through the paltry number of students still at Hogwarts for Easter, that the Ravenclaw Myrtle Warren had been killed and that half-giant Rubeus Hagrid was to blame. Tom takes one of Haddy’s clenched hands in his, using the other to brush a lock of Haddy’s hair behind his ear before gently caressing his soft cheek.
“Have you heard Haddy?” Tom whispers, gazing into his boys’ eyes and seeing worship reflected back at him, “Have you heard of what I have accomplished?”
Haddy nods rapidly before mirroring Tom’s posture, bringing his own hand up to caress the taller boy’s cheek. “Never has anyone besides my Daddy wanted to stage a crime scene for me, and to do it so well that the vengeance you promised me a year ago is fulfilled, well, not even my Daddy has done that for me before.”
Haddy goes onto his tiptoes, ghosting his lips along Tom’s jaw, Tom’s heart is beating wildly in his chest and he knows, intrinsically he knows, as if this moment is predestined and all prior actions have only been made to set this event in motion, Haddy is about to kiss him. He’s so close Tom can feel the moist heat of his boy’s breath against his face, he can feel the flutter of his eyelashes on his cheekbone, finally, finally, it is happening.
“You’re my bestfriend Tom”, Haddy whispers into the Slytherin’s ear
Instead of the passionate melding of mouths Tom was expecting, a kiss to define all others, an explosion of sensation and emotion Tom has never felt before, Haddy softly presses his lips to Tom’s cheek, lingering for less than a second before pulling away, smiling beatifically at Tom and turning to leave.
That. That is unacceptable.
Tom takes Haddy by the arm, forcible yet gently twirling the Hufflepuff back around and placing a searing kiss on his boy’s lips. Yes, there are the fireworks. Haddy lets out a surprised squeak before melting into Tom’s embrace, eagerly lifting his arms to wrap around the taller boy’s neck, closing his eyes in bliss, clearly feeling just as complete in that moment as Tom is. Tom who had wrapped one of his arms around Haddy’s slim waist, the other placed at the side of his boys’ neck, palm angled so that Tom can feel the frantic fluttering of his heartbeat and know in this moment, Haddy is just as effected by Tom as Tom is perpetually effected by him.
They are equal.