πΈπΎπΈπβ πΈππ βπΈππΌ ππ½π½ βπβππΌβπΌππ - βπ πΈπΎπΈπβ
Post :
@BookWorn<3
Everyone : *absolutely nothing*
The Duolingo Bird : Finish your lesson *holding you at gunpoint*
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@loonylover - accurate
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@hazzap._Β
there are a lot of serial killers outside and they sound like little girls being attacked by geese fuck shut up im trying to sleep here
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@hazzap._ - I MEANT *GEESE* OUTSIDE FUCKING BITCH I MEANT GEESE WHO SOUND LIKE LITTLE GIRLS BEING ATTACKED BY SERIAL KILLERS I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP BADLY
@nottyoursb1tch - IM SOBBING
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@ILoveFood
when I was six years old I threw a quaffle at my grandpa's face during a big family gathering and his false teeth flew out. he yelped out 'FUCKING CLOWN BASTARD' instinctively in front of everyone and that shit sneaks up on me during class and funerals
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None
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@number1b1tch
i am Distressed
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@number1b1tch - it's five in the fuc king morning and ive been staring at a wall for three hours trying to think of what this thing is called. it's like. fuckin the greatest invention humanity has ever come up with and there like. bread sticks but they taste sweet and they're more square
@number1b1tch - isn't there like a country in the name too.. hungary cinnamon bread. great britain sticks. france bread
@number1b1tch - france bred france brad france bread france sticks francebreadsticks France France revolution
@number1b1tch - FRENCH TOAST STICKS
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@MionesHimbo
In my hungover state I went food shopping. Reached for a pack of sausages & someone reached at the same time so I stepped back and said "sorry you go ahead". I then realized I'd actually seen my own arm in a mirror & had apologized to myself in front of a lady handing out samples
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@BookWorm<3Β
introvert/extrovert quizzes are so funny bc they're always like
1. Where are you happiest?
A) Reading a book by myself in the dark while crying
B) Snorting cocaine off a park bench with 80 of my closest friends
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Post :
@loonyluna
I just walked in on Theo putting a fruit roll up on Neville's dick I wanna cry and kms π
Comments :
@loonylover - I'm gonna cry WHY DID YOU SHARE π
Post :
@YESExplosives
Barber could staple a pic ae yer maw gettin shagged tae yer heed but when he holds up that wee mirror you'd still be like ideal mate cheers
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@ILoveFood - this confuses my brain-
Post :
@BookWorm<3
*car full of boys slowly pulls up next to me while I'm walking home from the beach*
Me: *thinks I'm about to be catcalled*
Boy 1: yo!!!
Me: *sweats nervously*
Boy 1: Where'd you get the BOBA!
Me: oh! It's just down this street on the right!
Boy 2: GOD I fucking TOLD you BLAISE
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Post :
@NOExplosives
My niece wants to know: if she donates her hair to Locks of Love, and the recipient of her hair commits a crime and leaves hair at the crime scene, will her DNA be found all over the crime scene and thus incriminate her?
She's 12.
Comments :Β
@MionesHimbo - this is a vibe
Post :Β
@loonyluna
This girl next to me in class offered me a sip of her drink after I said I was thirsty.. I was not fucking expecting to take a sip of vodka cranberry at 9am y'all
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@loonylover - this girl has a name y'know
Post :
@ILoveFood
[being buried alive]
murderer : *out of breath* how are you eating the dirt so quickly
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Post :
@hazzap._Β
*Woman throws a drink in my face but I swallow it all perfectly*
|Β |@ILoveFood
|Β |[being buried alive]
|Β |
|Β |murderer : *out of breath* how are youΒ Β Β
|Β |eating the dirt so quickly
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Post :
@YESExplosives
[being boiled alive in a witch's soup]
witch (smacking me with her broom) stop *smack* eating *smack* all *smack* the *smack* potatoes*smacksmacksmack*
|Β |@hazzap._Β
|Β |*Woman throws a drink in my face but IΒ
|Β |swallow it all perfectly*
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Post :
@nottyoursb1tch
all of these have the same energy
|Β |@YESExplosives
|Β |[being boiled alive in a witch's soup]
|Β |
|Β |witch (smacking me with her broom) stopΒ
|Β |*smack* eating *smack* all *smack* theΒ
|Β |*smack* potatoes*smacksmacksmack*
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Post :
@plantguy101
Unpopular opinion: cookie dough is worth taking the risk of getting salmonella
(Picture can be seen on Wattpad)
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Post :
@lifesalie
Neville pull yourself together and go get a damn spoon. It's cookie dough not a beefy five layer burrito have some class
|Β |@plantguy101
|Β |Unpopular opinion: cookie dough is worthΒ
|Β |taking the risk of getting salmonella
|Β |*Insert photo from above*
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Post :
@ILoveFood
I'm so confused as to why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There's no chicken in there!
|Β |@lifesalie
|Β |Neville pull yourself together and go get aΒ
|Β |damn spoon. It's cookie dough not a beefyΒ
|Β |five layer burrito have some class
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Post :
@MionesHimbo
Two words: Raw eggs.
|Β |@ILoveFood
|Β |I'm so confused as to why he would thinkΒ
|Β |cookie dough would give himΒ
|Β |salmonella??? What parent told him this.Β
|Β |There's no chicken in there!
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Post :
@ILoveFood
?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe
|Β |@MionesHimbo
|Β |Two words: Raw eggs.
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Post :
@MionesHimbo
Don't ask me, ask them Americans. I'm an Asian just passing the word on
|Β |@ILoveFood
|Β |?? What kind of world do you live in whereΒ
|Β |Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anywayΒ
|Β |unsafe
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Post :
@BookWorm<3
*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry salmonella.
MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don't mind making your own cookie dough you can easily make it safely.
Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we're eating the dough raw, that's not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.
|Β |@MionesHimbo
|Β |Don't ask me, ask them Americans. I'm anΒ
|Β |Asian just passing the word on
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Post :
@NOExplosives
Thank u so much for the wisdom
|Β |@BookWorm<3
|Β |*deep breath* Though the risk is small, rawΒ
|Β |eggs can carry salmonella.
|Β |
|Β |MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat canΒ
|Β |carry E. Coli. However, if you don't mindΒ Β
|Β |making your own cookie dough you canΒ
|Β |easily make it safely.
|Β |
|Β |Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs.Β
|Β |Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold theΒ
|Β |cookie together. Since we're eating theΒ
|Β |dough raw, that's not needed. Take theΒ
|Β |flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7Β
|Β |minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
|Β |
|Β |Just mix the rest of the ingredientsΒ
|Β |togetherΒ as the recipe is called for andΒ Β
|Β |BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.
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Post :
@nottyoursb1tch
wait you're telling me i can get E. Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???
|Β |@NOExplosives
|Β |Thank u so much for the wisdom
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Post :
@loonylover
Why.. why are you eating flour straight from the bag?
|Β |@nottyoursb1tch
|Β |wait you're telling me i can get E. Coli justΒ
|Β |FROM EATING FLOUR straight from theΒ
|Β |bag???