Chapter 15
There was nothing, just a barren field for as far as the eye could see. He was fucked. The farmers were standing encircled by soldiers and he could sense the brewing discontentment, he’d have to kill them all and come up with a story. Any reason that wasn’t him.
“Tom-“ Abraxas moved closer.
“Get the fuck away from me.” He needed a moment to think, to breathe. To fucking understand why he was cursed. Was this a game for the gods? A joke? Were they all watching and laughing at the little slave boy who truly believed he could be something, who’d honestly thought he was their descendant? Only when he was covered by the fruitless trees did he dare pause, the air stilled as he the feeling he dreaded returned. Choking him, threatening him, daring him to even raise his eyes yet begging him to step into his place. A slave. A god.
“I am doing all you asked, why?” He dropped to his knees, pressing his head to the ground in a sign of respect.
“I asked you to take the throne, to restore the old ways and bring the daughter of the moon into safekeeping.” Azar’s voice thundered. “You have the throne, now what?”
“I have the girl.” He stood, he would respect the gods but never cower.
“She fears you, she must trust you.”
“You were betrayed by her own, she must fear me or she’ll betray me too. That’s what you said-“
“Free me from this hell, free me and we will conquer the world.” Azar was slipping once more. “Free me my son, do what needs to be done.”
“Tell me what needs to be done, tell me and I’ll do it.” He lunged forward, a desperate boy chasing after his father’s cloak. But Azar was gone, and he was alone once more.
Sebastian would know what to do, but he was the price paid for greatness. The storm had cleared along with his wife’s desolate mood, for all his distrust she was rather sweet and last night she’d even tried to cheer him. If anything he didn’t want to see her enslaved, she’d perhaps suffer more than any of the slaves he’d encountered purely because of her family. Perhaps he’d kill her now, save her the torment.
“Tom, come and see Tom!” It was her excited little voice, calling from beyond the trees. So sheltered she was that she didn’t know they were about to be butchered. “Come out now Tom.”
Sometimes the way she couldn’t quite grasp the language was bloody irritating, there was no reason for her to be this slow yet she still was. Perhaps if he’d bothered to speak to her more then she’d have progressed. He drew his sword as he left the trees, better to do this quickly. One strike through the chest.
“Tom?” There was a soft thud, his heart stopped.
If there was ever a sign that he was right then this was it, the filthy potato rolled to his foot as she took a step back in fear but she was beautiful. Truly beautiful. It wasn’t possible, it was divine intervention from the gods.
“Alina.” He sheathed his sword, that was probably not the best look. “Tell me what you have?”
“Alina the King was praying, that’s all.” Thalia stood behind her, a hand on her back stopping her retreat. It seemed she had finally picked her side. “Tell him what you found.”
“The map it was wrong-“ She was stuttering dreadfully, but most women would if a swordsman charged at them from the trees. “Here on this one is the things under the ground, over there down the hill is all filled with grains and things.” Her hands shook as she offered her basket. “I picked some.”
“You found all this love, show me where?” He forced his voice to soften, he was known for his charm after all.
All it took were a few light touches, a few compliments, one skin-crawling display of affection, and she was shakily whispering beside him once more. It was the miracle he needed, it was proof he was right.
“Seven killed, all for this.” Abraxas stood beside him once more, the discoveries of crops just kept growing with her every smile. “We’re in more danger now than ever, they’ll come for her.”
“Kari is watching them, that was the terms. She restores our kingdom, I protect her and he searches for them.” There was now fruit on trees that had earlier been bare, whispers were starting. “I’ll keep her safe.”
“Do you trust him?” Abraxas motioned for a guard to move closer to the princess, she was more valuable than all the gold sitting below their feet.
“We have his sister, he must keep his word.” Of course he didn’t trust him. “We follow the gods, not a prince.”
“The storm last night, it sank two ships flying the banners of Alcimos but he wasn’t on board.” He shifted closer. “If they’d have docked, we’d be defending ourselves with barely a fifth of our remaining army.”
“But they didn’t dock.” How could they dock when his princess was terrified of intruders, when she would not want that. “Send men to watch the ports, and the palace.”
Fear would save them, but not fear of him, if she feared everything beyond his reach then his borders would be unbreachable. If she didn’t understand the magnitude of what she could do, and judging by Kari’s words she didn’t – even Kari didn’t, then it was only right for him to coax her along the right path. He could achieve all this without shedding a drop of her blood, she could do it willingly for him. She was rather sweet after all.
“I always knew you were right.” Of course Abraxas would say it now, when the prophecy was stumbling across all manner of crops before them. “Is that- how?”
“The ships are back.” Flying the banners of success. Well, he’d promised her a pick of the treasure if the war was less than a month. “You finish up here, I’ll take her back.”
“You need an heir, that was part of your bargain.”
“I know.” He had given it his best efforts, and they now called him a brute. There was no winning. “There will be one soon, I’m sure.”
“Please be kind, Narin tells me she flinches when you arrive.” Abraxas touched his arm.
“Narin is a fucking liar.” Always had been.
“Have it your way.” Life was very much starting to go his way.
It wasn’t a flinch, she was simply an easily startled person who didn’t pay attention to her surroundings. He bent to pick up the fruit that had rolled towards him and placed it back in her basket, but still she looked at him with those wide eyes.
“What?” He steered her towards his chariot, motioning for the guards to ready.
“You pointed your sword at me, I don’t like that.” Not many people did, funnily enough.
“Alright, get in.” He wouldn’t be moved by her pouts or pathetic little tears.
The weather was turning as they arrived back at the palace, the sky was darkening with thick grey clouds and it was colder than it had been for weeks. Winter was setting in, snow would arrive soon and not actually thought to check if the princess had warm enough clothes. So far she’d managed to get a few dresses with sleeves made, but they were still far too thin for the weather. The first rumble of thunder barrelled across the sky as they returned to their rooms, with her return from the temple he would offer her a new world where her happiness was perfectly entwined with his.
The smell of roasted meat punctured the air as he sat at the table, in celebration of his triumph the kitchens had sent the very best for his supper and the usual meal provided to the princess. This time there was a selection; one clear broth, a thin vegetable soup, a sliced apple, and a small square of bread. She seemed to like it as she never said otherwise, but it was a rather paltry offering.
“Don’t take all evening.” He called through to the bedroom, this proclivity to changing dresses was both irritating and wasteful.
“Sorry.” She was already at the threshold, a nightgown and robe hastily thrown about her as she eschewed whatever dinner dress the slave girl had selected.
“Sit, I want to talk to you.” If he knew what was so enjoyable about her life at home, he’d make it even more enjoyable here and thus keep the blessings coming. It was all so clear now. “Tell me about you.”
“About me?” She still stood in the doorway.
“We’re married, aren’t we?” There was no need to act so surprised. “Tell me about your childhood, tell me about Kari.”
“I have eight siblings, you never ask about them.” She held his gaze as she sat, at times it seemed she was more perceptive than she let on.
“Better not to speak of the dead, lest we raise their spirits.” There were many he thought of, many he’d die to see again.
“I loved them, all of them.”
“Let them rest.”
“They loved me, they would say I was their most favourite because I was the smallest. Every night a different one of my sisters would let me sleep in their bed, every day a different one of my brothers would bring me a gift or take me to look over the walls.” She seemed to look through him. “My father loved us all, he would throw parties and feasts and performances so that we would always be happy. He would say if we were happy, the world would be happy. He said we were blessed, that a family so devoted to the gods would always be blessed.”
“But Kari-“
“My oldest brother was a warrior like none had ever seen, I had three brothers but you never care to ask. My second brother was a holy man, he studied the books and worshipped the gods, he knew everything that was to come and had happened.” That was an interesting titbit. “My father and he would sit in the audience chamber and plan attacks to the very day, he always knew when the time was right. And he was kind, so very kind. There were my sisters, each one more beautiful than the last and they were perfect in every way. I loved them more than I could even say, not that you’d understand.”
Of course, how could a soldier like he possibly understand the finality of death?
“You say you want to know me but you don’t, you want to know my family, so there’s my eight siblings.” The look she cut him was cold, although he could probably humiliate her by reminding her she was one of eight and therefore only had seven siblings. But then she was an imbecile. “You want to know of Kari and my father? They protected me from everything, with each death they drew me closer, Kari is in my every memory even when he would go away I would watch from the walls until he came back. I knew he would come back. But he didn’t tell me his plans, neither did father, so I can be of no use to you. That’s all you wanted to know, isn’t it?”
“Do you think he’s coming back now?” He shouldn’t rise to it, she should be simple to control yet he kept fumbling.
“Yes.” Her chin was held high, her belief steadfast.
“Did you really never leave the palace, I can’t imagine that was very fun.” He served her a ladleful of broth, he could be charming. “Surely you have more fun here?”
“My sisters did leave the palace, don’t lie!” Her tone switched, perhaps angrier than she’d even shown.
“I never said they did.” He followed her gaze, finding nothing but the shadowed closet.
“What?” She blinked a few times, glancing back towards him.
“You like it here, don’t you?”
“Here?”
“Yes, your new home where you are free to roam as you please.” Debatable. “It’s safe here, just like your brother wanted.”
“My brother?” She was staring at that spot again.
“Kari, that’s why he gave you to me.” There was nothing there. “So you’re here safe, and you can explore.”
“You drew your sword on me, you were going to kill me. I know it.” Her eyes dropped to the broth, delicate jaw tensing. “You are not a good man.”
“If the harvest had failed there would be a revolt, you would have likely been raped then either killed or enslaved.” At the very least. “If anything you should be thankful that I thought to spare you such a fate.”
“But you didn’t.”
“Are you not here, unharmed?”
“You raped me, you beat me, you starve me, you lock me away in this room with no place of my own and no things of my own.” She was staring straight into his soul. “You are what I should be protected from.”
“I never raped you, I punished you due to your own stupid decisions.” This was her brothers plan, dissent from the very centre of his court. “When you behaved, I raised you up.”
“You did-“
“You want to blame someone, blame your brother!” The wind howled against the shutters as he stood. “He gave you to me, all but sold you, he told me to consummate it the night of or he’d change his mind, he is the reason that happened. Him and the gods, the gods that raised me up gave you to me.”
“To rape?”
“To follow the laws of the land for legitimising a marriage, if you were underprepared take that to your mo- to your family.” He’d almost said mother, not that it would make much difference to the venom bleeding into the air. “He practically held you down.”
“And after?” The wind slammed the shutters open.
“I apologised for that, you accepted before the gods.” The matter was closed.
“The gods, the gods, it’s always the gods. But if the gods cared for you, if they believed you to be worthy then why were you born a slave? That’s all you are, a slave!” Her eyes were wild, the bowl of tepid broth splattered across his tunic as her voice rose. “You are a slave, a filthy slave, perhaps here it is right to have slavery as you would never be much more! A king, a prince, any man worthy of respect would never treat someone the way I have been treated-“
“The way you have been treated?” That was enough. His chair screeched across the floor as he stood, it was enough. “Expected to do the very least of your duties and in turn being given food, riches, rooms, that hundreds- no thousands, would only ever dream of? Asked to play the harp? Expected to ask for things? To have the basest acknowledgement of the privilege you received for little more than your birth?”
“You abused me, you lied to me, you beat me and starved me, you ignored my every attempt to reach out until those people came for me- until.. until-“ She collapsed to the side, awkwardly crawling away in fear, but nothing had touched her. “They were going to save me-“
“Use you, that’s all they were going to do.” The storm was raging, they had yet to harvest the crops and now they would be damaged. “I protected you-“
“No, no, no, no, no, you lied to me, you lie, I don’t know you-“ She was tearing at her hair, curled in a pathetic ball. “You killed my family, and you’ll kill me. I hate you, I hate you, when Kari comes back he’ll see you dead, he’ll punish you-“
“Shut up!” It was enough.
“You deserve to die, you’ll die unnamed, unnoticed, forgotten.” The shell struck his stomach, the pathetic show of rage was almost humorous. But the weather was turning. “You call my life easy but what do you do? Just kill, kill, kill-“
“Alina, silence-“
“You deserve to die, you know too much, you’re going to, Tom, Tom, stop it, please stop it-“ Any servant outside the door would believe him to be beating her, but all he was doing was placing her conveniently in the wardrobe until she calmed down. “Tom, Tom, General, General please, don’t, don’t do this, please-please-“
She was insane, that was all he could say. Judging from the incoherent screeching coming from behind the door Kari had been underselling the insanity of his sister, the episode had come from nowhere and she was babbling away in her own language as she beat at the door. It sounded as though she was throwing things around in there, screaming as though he was beating her, repeating the same words in her language over and over. But the storm was calming.
The slave girl was knocking at the door, her guard was calling from the hallway, she was shrieking in pure terror. It was chaos. His tunic was soaked in broth, so he stripped it off and sat for his dinner. She’d have to stop soon.
***
Kari was going to die, his ship would crash against the rocks of a stony coast and he’d drown painfully in the dark. Just like she would die here, alone in this dark closet with the air rapidly vanishing. Arista just wouldn’t go, she crouched over her and taunted her until her dreams were indistinguishable from reality.
“I told you not to ignore me, not to turn from me. Now look what’s happened.” Arista’s breath dusted her ear, forcing her to curl into a tighter ball. “Don’t ignore me again.”
“Leave me alone, I don’t want your help anymore.” The price for the help was too steep.
“You don’t get to make that choice, I get to make that choice.” Arista’s nails were digging into her skin, ripping at her shoulders. “Do as I say Alina, I will destroy everything if you don’t. I’ll keep you here, in the dark for the rest of time.”
There was no point crying out for help, the General didn’t care, since he had shoved her in here there had been nothing but silence from that side of the door. No General, no Thalia, no Zesiro, nothing. Just darkness. Silence. Nothing.
“I’ll do it, please just stop this.” Her voice was hoarse from screaming, she couldn’t remember anything but this darkness.
“I’m not asking for much, barely anything. Just keep him far from the forest, that’s all.” Arista stroked her hair, it no longer felt comforting. “All this fuss and bother for nothing, nothing at all.”
“I’m sorry, please make this stop. Please Arista, I’m so sorry.” The fingers in her hair felt like claws, the breaths on her cheek like razors. “Please Arista, please, please-“
The door shuddered at the force at which it was swung open, light burnt her eyes as the General stood with a raised torch. He wasn’t happy, and neither was the cowering Thalia behind him.
“Dress, we’re going out.” He left.
Thalia spoke to her but she couldn’t really hear the words, her mind was still trapped in the dark with Arista shrieking her threats. It was a terror she couldn’t place, a terror that seized her spine and filled her stomach. There was no time to bathe, only enough time for Thalia to make her presentable.
“I was there all night.” She whispered as Thalia wove the circlet into her hair.
“I’m afraid.” Thalia replied, tucking away the last strand of hair. “You would tell me if something was happening?”
“Yes.” No.
Of all the places they had been this was by far the worst, it was deep in the city and there seemed to be thousands of people here. It was a large stadium of sorts with endless rows of seats and a canopied box where she sat with the General and his closest, but it stank of sweat, animal dung, and something cloyingly sweet. Narin sat beside her and offered her a glass of juice, but she felt awful, she was tired, hungry, terrified, and just wrong.
“I don’t particularly like these games, but Abraxas said I must come.” Narin whispered, it seemed her marriage was also unequal. “Have you been before?”
“No, what sort of games do they play?” Perhaps she would just have a sip of juice.
“Violent games.” Narin shifted closer. “Please, is everything alright? I worry that things are not what they seem, are they-“
“Narin, what are you talking to my wife about?” Tom dropped into the seat beside her. “Alina sit up straight, you’re embarrassing me.”
“I don’t think I want to watch violent games.” Of course she didn’t, no civilised person would.
“Funny, I didn’t want to participate in them either but your family made me.” He didn’t look at her. “But you don’t care, aren’t they all unworthy slaves like me after all?” They were words she recognised but couldn’t quite place. “I’m sure you’ll enjoy it, imagine it’s me.”
It started with a parade, dozens of fighters circled the arena as the crowed bellowed the names of their favourites. But some were so young, and others far too old to be there. There was a master of ceremonies of sorts and a man walking around the seats taking bets, but the General just stared ahead. A trumpet blared and chaos unfolded. Children were being cut down, old men slaughtered, screams of agony mingled with cheers of support but all she could focus on was the sand slowly turning red.
“Normally they start with the animals, sometimes women. But I don’t care to watch that.” His eyes were blank as he looked at her. “Smile, this is your family’s legacy.”
“I don’t want this.” Her stomach churned, young boys were crying out in fear. “Please General, please Tom, you could stop this.”
“No one stopped it for me, you said last night that my life – a slaves life- doesn’t matter. Why matter now?”
“I never said that, I don’t remember saying that.” The smell, the screams, the sobs of fear wouldn’t leave her mind. “Please-“
“Everything I have done is at the will of the gods.”
“But this isn’t it, surely you can see that?”
“I came from this, I was forced into this. But still you think I’m a lowly usurper?” He said. “Tell me, do you see how it was the will of the gods to throw me down here, to prove myself in the hardest of ways, to overcome the impossible and light the way?”
“Tom-“
“Tell the truth.”
“Tom-“
“Tell me if you think the boy who survived years of this is worthy of the gods?” He wouldn’t strike her, not here.
“If you were worthy you’d make it end.” Another groan, another cry, another gush of blood as a man died before them.
“What if I sent your girl down there, how long do you think she’d last?” He ignored her please. “I wonder, what kind of entertainment she has instore for us.”
“Don’t-“
“Would you go in her place, or do you value your life more?”
“Send me, if you must.” The likelihood that he would was slim, but clearly he wanted her to make the choice. “Punish me in any way you see fit, but please leave Thalia alone.”
“Do you understand that I was chosen from the gods, from this?” Each word was delivered carefully, his eyes never leaving hers.
“Yes.” It was the only answer.
He stood and the balcony fell silent, another horn blared and below him the fighting ceased, the whole arena was waiting his verdict, she was waiting his verdict. Would he send Thalia below, would he stop the fighting, or would he simply make a speech and continue? If she knew what words she had supposedly thrown at him, what offence she had made, then she would apologise and things could go back to the slowly blooming relationship she had cultivated. But things had happened, things she couldn’t explain, and everything was turning to dust.
“The queen has asked for an end to these games, and it pleases me to agree.” His voice carried across the arena. “For today, we will halt.”